Harley sat in the corner of their new… well, Mista J called it the "Joker Cave (it was actually just the basement an abandoned comedy club, but he'd insisted on the name) and stocked her new utility belt. In the face of their sudden fame- as opposed to their normal infamy- the Joker had insisted they do their crime fighting properly. That meant utility belts and new gadgets. Of course, all their tools fell into their unique 'theme'- currently, Harley was folding a banana peel so it would fit in one of the belts pouches. The belt was already stocked with stink bombs, sneezing powder, itching powder, laughing-gas canisters, bright purple handcuffs, chattering teeth and specially designed exploding playing cards.
Off in one corner, the Joker was flipping through the news channels, gazing in wonder at the abject stupidity of the average Urban Lemming.
CLICK. "-emerging hostage crisis, ended before it began by an unlikely hero. Eyewitnesses report that the Joker, along with his henchwoman former psychologist Harleen Quinzell, burst into the auditorium and quickly subdued the Quraqi gunmen…"
CLICK. "-not a hero! Have we all forgotten that just a few months ago this madman poisoned a busload of senior citizens with carbon monoxide? Are we so blinded by our own cynicism that we let a few good deeds blind us to the Joker's evil past? "
"Joan, I think you're just bitter. Joker saved three people last night alone, and I don't think…"
CLICK. "-has never formally been convicted of any wrongdoing, due to his inability to stand trial. With us is Doctor Shiraz Bilmali, an expert in the rehabilitation of…"
CLICK."Joker is a vicious monster and totally beyond redemption, Pat, that's all there is to it."
"Now Jim I think you're letting your pain and anger cloud your soul. As Christians we are taught to forgive our enemies. As Americans, our justice system is based on the idea that even the worse person can change and be rehabilitated. So as Christians and Americans it's our duty to open our hearts to this clearly reformed man."
Click. "That's where you and I disagree, Steven. There is no difference between Batman and the Joker, save that one brutalizes criminals while the other, until recently, struck at civilians. Where's the line between psychopath and vigilante? What we are seeing is a wake-up call! We NEED to put a stop to the vigilante justice which dominates this city! As I said in my book Super Heroes/Super Zeroes..."
CLICK. "-your opinion on the Joker, Ma'am?"
"I think he's obviously reformed himself. I mean, he's out there saving lives! We should welcome him as another hero, one who'll help save this miserable city. Besides, I think BATMAN'S at least as crazy as he ever was"
CLICK. "Thus far there has been no word from City Hall or the Police Department on rumors that they will grant the Joker the same quasi-official status which has been accorded to the Batman. Meanwhile, public opinion continues to mount in favor of this new hero…"
It was astonishing. He'd murdered them, tortured them, blown up their homes and businesses for years, decades really. Yet a few acts of 'heroism' and all of that was immediately forgotten. Honestly, he was amazed he'd never thought of this particular joke before- to turn his reputation around on them in this way was just…
…just…
The Joker suddenly bolted upright in his seat. He could feel his brain starting to fizz in that wonderful, wonderful way it did when a grand scheme was beginning to percolate. Rushing to his work desk, he swept all the crumpled papers and tools onto the floor and began to furiously scribble. As usual, it was difficult for his hand to keep pace with his brain, but he wasn't complaining!
Over in the corner, Harley smiled tiredly as she saw her man getting back to his work. This whole hero thing was a lot harder than it looked, and frankly it had been getting a little old. She'd admit that it was nicer than the…unpleasantness… in the suburbs, but that really wasn't saying very much. She missed their trips to the Iceberg (Puddin' said real heroes couldn't go drinking with criminals), not to mention all their fun little games with the cops and the freedom to do and take whatever they wanted. She hoped Mistah J found his muse soon, so they could get back to their wonderful normal lives.
"Got an idea, Sweetie Bear?" she asked once his pencil slowed to a more sedate pace.
"I do indeed, Harley. It's going to be HILARIOUS!" Joker cried, leaping from his desk to dance a little jig. "First, we're going to need a searchlight and some black spray paint…"
Batman swung through the Gotham night, high above the city street. As he swung, he pondered the facts of the Joker's latest escapade. Two dangerous super-criminals had been apprehended by the Joker so far, and there were numerous stories of the Clown Prince of Chaos intervening to stop other crimes across the city. Currently, the press alternated between praising him as a reformed man repaying his debt to society and condemning vigilante justice in general. This did not bother him.
What DID bother him was that he had no idea what the clown was up to. While it was impossible to truly understand what was going on inside Joker's diseased mind, Batman was usually able to at least understand the rough outline of his arch foes plans. Generally speaking, they were aimed at causing death, pain and chaos in spectacular fashion- yet his latest exploits had saved dozens of innocent people, and prevented massive chaos. True, the media was full of stories about him, and the underworld was in upheaval, but the Dark Knight felt it unlikely that these were Joker's aims. The media could be stirred into chaos with far more 'traditional' exploits, and the underworld of Gotham was almost always chaotic.
No, there was something else. Something he was missing- some clue that would reveal the truth of the Joker's plan.
However, Batman still had a city to protect, and so long as the Joker wasn't actively threatening anyone, Batman had to maintain his normal patrol schedule. So it was that the Caped Crusader was passing through mid-town when he spotted a makeshift Batsignal light up the sky. It was dim, and the bat-emblem was poorly drawn, but it was unmistakable.
Batman immediately changed direction and headed in the direction of the signal. He'd seen this before and it usually meant one of two things. One, some citizen desperately nneded help and was willing to go to extreme lengths to attract his attention. Two, one of his enemies wanted to attract his attention- either to deliver a message or to lure him into a trap. Either way, he couldn't afford to ignore it. Ash he moved, he contacted Oraclle and informed her of the situation.
He came to rest on a tall building overlooking the signal's location- the roof of a four story apartment complex. He reached into his utility belt and withdrew a small set of collapsible binoculars. Putting them to his eyes he scanned the rooftop, searching for some clue as to who had summoned him. He was surprised to see the Joker standing openly in the middle of the roof. Quickly, the Dark Knight scanned the rest of the roof, even moving to different vantage points to be sure he checked every angle. The Joker appeared to be alone, with no visible weapons nor any sign of a trap. Satisfied that there was no obvious danger, Batman activated his comm once more.
"Oracle" he said, pitching his voice low so asx not to alert the madman below him "The signal appears to have been made by the Joker- he's waiting on the roof, apparently alone. I'm going to approach him, see what he's up to."
At her terminal, Barbara Gordon grimaced. She'd been afraid that Joker would be making his move soon. This hero routine didn't fool her- better than anyone she knew that the clown was evil in its purest form. She took a deep breath, and when she spoke her voice was calm and level.
"Understood. Do you need backup?"
"Unlikely" Batman replied "But have Robin stand by just in case. Batman out."
Leaping from his perch, the Dark Knight spread his cape, turning his fall into a controlled glide. The cape's advanced materials billowed out, casting a distinctly bat-like shadow on the roof below. The Joker, standing in the middle of this shadow, looked up and Batman was surprised to see that his arch-enemy was not smiling. Batman landed ten feet away from the demented clown.
"What do you want Joker?" Batman asked, expecting some ridiculous answer.
"To form a partnership" Joker replied.
"…What?" Batman asked, caught completely wrong footed.
"Look here, Bats," Joker said, beginning to pace the roof as he spoke. Automatically, Batman's eyes followed the mad mime. "This town is falling apart- criminals running amok, cops taking bribes, leash laws being ignored… it's crazy! Now, apart there's only so much we can do. But together there'd be no stopping us! We'd be the perfect team! You know me better than anyone, just like I know you better than anyone. You've studied the criminal element for years, while I have firsthand knowledge of it. I'm devilishly clever and handsome, you've got a cool car! Together, we'd be fantastic a Super Team! We can even invite some of your other pals from the Justice League- y'know Blue Buffoon, Wonder Bra and Sea-Man! Whattaya say Bats?"
"You're insane" Batman replied, his voice cold and unemotional.
"That's what they tell me, Batso" Joker replied "But that really doesn't answer my question, does it? What do you say chum? Shall we combine forces to become an unstoppable duo of Super Friends?"
"I will never join you, Joker" Batmn growled, his anger rising. "You may have fooled some of the city with your new hero act, but I can see through you. You never change- this is just another one of your sick jokes and sooner or later you'll return to form. And I'll be there, wainting to put you back in your cage."
Firing off a line, the Dark Knight swung up away. The Joker raced to the edge of the roof and cupped his hands around his mouth.
"Batsy! Come back! WE CAN HAVE DECODER RIIIINNNGSSS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Joker placed his hands on his hips and smiled to himself. Now that the Dork Knight was properly tweaked he could move on to the next stage of his plan.
a/n
Wow. Six damn months. I got no excuse. Sorry. I'll try and have the next chapter up a little quicker.
