Disclaimer: I'm feeling particularily menacing today, so I'm going to be a rebel. Watch, I'll just say the disclaimer so fast that nobody will even be able to tell what I said, and then they'll just think that the stories mine. See: Harry Potter belongs to JKRowling and not to me, so please don't sue... Hehe. Sally, Uncle Bob, and the Department of Dangerous Importations of Meaningless Magical Objects? Well, those ones are mine. :P


Hermione Granger, super sleuth, was on a mission. What did this mission entail, you ask? Well, it was in her best interest to keep it hush, hush, but I'm sure you lovely folks won't be telling anyone. Her mission, was to find out what that piece of paper was and why her best friend/soon to be boyfriend, was acting so strange. Ronald Weasley really, was not the type to try seducing a woman. Or, I suppose he could try, but in all due respect, he was so awkward and clueless, it really just didn't work. He was adorable just the way he was.

Anyways, back to Hermione's quest. She remembered the way Ron's brow had furrowed, as he'd studied the strange scrap. Not even in school had he ever concentrated so hard, leading her to believe, up until this point, he had not the capacity to do so. That must account for something then, and it only stands to reason that said piece of paper was in fact quite important. It was the only lead she had on the subject of Ronald's mysterious behavior as of late. Somehow, she just had to get that paper from him.

And how did she propose to do so? Well it was simple really. It was the morning after her revelation, she had spent a little while after supper at Ron's house deciding to watch on of her favorite muggle movies: Titanic. Not only was it a romantic tragedy, that could hopefully give Ron a few tips, but it was also a three hour movie, all three hours snuggling up to the red head, and pretending to cry so that he'd put his arm around her. Yes, it was a good night indeed.

But that brings us back to the point. She still needed to find out, what exactly was it that was causing him to act so strangely? She decided that the best way to find out, would be to follow him, for the rest of the day. If he took the piece of paper out, she could ask him about it and see what happened.

Today, our characters are scattered about the large prank shop, each doing various jobs of their own. Hermione worked the cash register, as Ron took inventory of all the items, this time around being ever so careful not to step on something exponentially terrifying. And Fred and George... Well we can all assume that they were up to their usual mischief and causing of mayhem. In truth, at this present moment the Weasley twins had just received a letter. A very important letter indeed. From the very ministry of magic, department of magical objects itself.

But that's for a little bit later. Remember? Hermione is setting up her very elaborate plan. But Hermione was working at the cash register. How was she to follow her lovable co worker when she was doing something completely different? Well, let it never be said that Hermione was the brightest witch of her age, for nothing. A quick charm that was muttered underneath her breath made her job all the easier. A small mirror laid beside her inconspicuously, quite innocent to the watchful eye. Soon, the shiny surface began to ripple and shift until the image of the ceiling was replaced by Ronald Weasley shifting through a box sitting beside a nearly full shelf. He took out many a strange object. An orange orb that glowed in the dark, and when shook, would explode into a cloud of neon smoke; a mirror that showed your face distorted into the most hideous expressions; a coin that would yell out crude sayings whenever somebody passed within a five meter radius. Each one was placed onto the shelf with care, for Ron new that the wrath of his brothers would be merciless if he broke something.

Hermione watched in fascination as he used a tenderness she had never witnessed before. She stared deeply into the mirror, her heart melting just a little bit. His red hair shone in the light streaming from the windows above him. The freckles that speckled across his nose made his expression look younger, and simply adorable. She didn't notice herself leaning towards the mirror to look closer. Closer. Clos-

"Hey Hermione!" two voices sounded from right behind her. Two voices that were laced with certain smugness...

Hermione leaped backwards quickly and turned the mirror over before they could see. Her heart was beating erratically, and it was perfectly possible she just had a heart attack. Only a minor heart attack.

"Whatcha doing?" Fred asked with mock innocence. Believe you me, he knew perfectly well what she had been doing.

You can also take my word when I say that they enjoyed every second that she struggled to come up with an excuse.

"Well, you see-"

"Oh don't fret Hermione. We already know exactly what you were doing!" Fred interrupted happily. Hermione froze in terror.

"Y-you do?"

"Of course we do! You were-" George was quickly stopped by a small hand covering his mouth.

"Shut. Up." Her voice was almost a hiss. Fred snorted as she jumped away. Ron was standing quietly leaning on a shelf filled with boxes of puking pasties.

"What was he going to say?" If you squinted really hard the possibility of mistaking Hermione for a tomato was quite probable.

"Oh I was just about to-"

"Say that you were doing wonderfully putting things on the shelf and that you should continue your amazing work!"

It may have been almost believable if it weren't for two reasons. Firstly, Hermione had shouted her pathetic excuse of a lie at the top of her lungs. Secondly, these were three of the famous Weasley boys we're talking about; Please tell me, when would Fred or George ever say that to their little Ronniekins? I think it would be more along the lines of: "Oi, tell me again why we hired you?" or perhaps "You're a pathetic excuse of a wizard! Why did we choose you of all people to carry our legacy?"

Ron raised an eyebrow, obviously not quite as gullible as we had originally thought.

"They gave me a compliment?"

Fred snorted and coughed something that sounded suspiciously like "Not likely".

Hermione scowled at him, and then smiled brightly at Ron."

Yes. Yes they did."

"But I don't think-"

"Shut up Ron." A smile was still splayed across her face. An awkward silence broke over the four of them. But it should be noted that when with the Weasley twins, quiet was never quiet for long.

"So, darlingest Ronnie boy, we've got a job for you again!" Fred exclaimed happily. The look on Ronald's face could only be described as horror. Sheer horror.

"Not again!"

"Don't worry Won-Won! We don't need a guinea pig today!"

Ron let out a sigh of relief. Vivid images of himself covered in purple fabric eating acid flashed through his mind.

"Today, we need a messenger!" George exclaimed.

"Well not really a messenger... We just need someone to do an errand for us."

"Simply clear up a few things for the Ministry of Magic that's all."

Ron looked slightly miffed. He eyed his two older brothers with a look that clearly said "why me?" His brothers, obviously used to seeing similar looks on their younger brother's face, answered his unspoken question.

"We need somebody with secret agent like precision-"

"And again I wonder: Why me?"

"And a knack for persuasive conversation-"

"Still wondering..."

"And we can't be bothered to go to the ministry ourselves, since we have a tendency to make things a lot worse then they originally were."

"Ah."

"It's all clear now," said Hermione, who had previously been watching the exchange with amusement. The awkward chuckles soon subsided into a once again, considerably more awkward silence. This simply would not do.

"Apparently some of our products being imported from Belgium have been deemed 'Potentially Dangerous'," Fred made quotation marks with his fingers, as George snorted and shook his head.

"Aren't your products usually not only 'potentially' dangerous, but out right lethal?" Hermione inquired, one eyebrow rising gracefully above the other.

"Exactly! I don't know why they had to choose now to start nit-picking!" George exclaimed. Hermione shook her head and sighed. In all honesty, she should have known.

"Do I have to go?" Ron whined.

"Yes. Goodbye."

"But-"

"Did you hear something Fred?"

"No, I think it might have been the wind, George."

"I could have sworn I heard out darling brothers voice."

"Well for his sake I should hope it wasn't him. I think if he was still here we'd have to sneak another slug sizzling bean into his pumpkin juice..."

Ron gulped and disapparated quickly.

Hermione would have followed. She would have abandoned work right then. She would have kept straight to her mission. After all what had the higher priority?

Let's face it: this is Hermione Granger we're talking about.

"George, me thinks she is debating whether or not she should go after him."

"Well, that would mean skipping work. I mean she's only worked 9 hours a day for 349 days a year."

"As long as she knows she's not getting paid, I don't see what the trouble is..."

The twins turned to her and flashed identical grins. Hermione thanked them with a small smile and a roll of her eyes before disappearing after him.

Hermione was quite thankful she didn't have to flush herself down a toilet, if she were to look upon the situation with an optimistic attitude.

A pessimistic attitude would comment that she was still attempting to break into the ministry for an undoubtedly stupid reason. However, seeing how Hermione was generally a realist her train of thought was: I am so screwed.

Truer words have ne'er been spoken.

She was trailing behind Ron, a muggle newspaper planted firmly in front of her face. She hoped above all hopes that he didn't see her. Luckily he didn't.

Unbeknownst to Hermione Granger: super sleuth, she wasn't the only one doing completely pointless and unnecessary spying.

Standing with their back against a wall, newspaper also held suspiciously close to their face, was a shady figure. A very shady figure.

Hermione passed them without notice, due to the piece of paper constricting her view quite well. I suppose even if she hadn't have had a paper in front of her face, she only had one thing on her mind right now. Some super spy she turned out to be. Don't tell her I said that, please.

The shady figure in question was clothed in all black, including a rather nice pair of sunglasses, and a hood placed firmly over their head. As the brunette witch walked past in a rather failed attempt to be inconspicuous, the shady figured folded the newspaper neatly in half and placed it on a metal bench. Leaning over, they whispered something into their sleeve, most likely there was a microphone or high-tech listening device hidden there. The person looked suspiciously back and forth before following Miss. Granger.

As the shady figure trailed Hermione and Hermione trailed Ron, the three of them swerved in and out of back alleyways, hopefully on their way to the final destination. But with Ron in the lead, you never know. Hermione absentmindedly worried that perhaps they were completely and totally lost. She almost went up to him and shook him for being so stupid. Luckily she had a bit more self control than that.

And then they saw it. Hiding behind the dark shadow of the main ministry building. Out in the back field of the ministry property. It was rather pathetic, really.

Apparently there was literally, a whole other department, specifically for Dangerous Importations of Meaningless Magical Objects. Mind you, it was a rather small department: pretty much a shack, shingles falling off, a few cracks at the seam of the sole window… Yes it was pretty sketchy, but a department it was.

It looked like some sort of drug house.

Ron stopped and shot a concerned glance at the wooden department sign nailed haphazardly into the ground. Hermione was half expecting some hobo axe murderer to come sneaking out of the house and take the two of them at gun point into his building where he would hold them ransom. You know, like in one of those horror movies.

Sadly, this story was not meant to be one of horror, and so, alas, there was no hobo axe murderer, and Ron made his way, for the most part safely to the door, aside from stumbling over a rusty pipe lying on the dead grass. Hermione ducked into the shadow cast from the shack as Ron raised a fist and hesitantly knocked.

Suspicious whispering followed.

The sound of multiple locks being slipped and undone followed.

And we're sure there's no serial killer? …..Pretty sure.

Hermione almost whimpered as the door was thrown open. Actually, with the force that was used to open that door, she wasn't surprised that it hadn't flown off the hinges.

"….THERE'S A PERSON HERE!"

Ron looked as though he was visibly thrown back by the force of the shout. An old-ish man with a long-ish beard stood in the doorway, an overly excited smile plastered across his face. He was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, and Hermione Granger super-sleuth already had doubts about this man's sanity.

Of course it didn't take a super-sleuth to see that this man had no sanity whatsoever.

"Oh lordy! Sally, look-y here! There's a real live person here at my door!" His beard shook with every word. He looked like he was about to start crying tears of joy.

Suddenly a younger woman, who looked to be about 30 stepped into the doorway. She looked rather unintimidating in comparison to the older man. Perhaps it would be safe to assume that she wasn't a mental hospital escapee?

"Uncle Bob, I think you're scaring this poor boy off." She cast a sympathetic glance at Ron, who was still looking pretty scared.

"Don't worry kid; he just doesn't get out much."

The two of them looked to Uncle Bob slowly inching his hand towards Ron's face to stroke his cheeks. Needless to say, Ronald wasn't entirely sure how to react.

"Uncle Bob! That's enough!" After shuffling the old man back into the shack-I mean Department; she turned back to the flustered red head with a raised eyebrow.

"So, what d'you need? Don't get many visitors, since we're kind of a pathetic department, so I'm not entirely sure how this works. Do you want some tea, or something?"

Ron wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to step foot inside the house… Sensing this, Sally pulled her wand out of her back pocket and summoned a small tea pot and a few chipped cups, leaving Ron no choice but to accept. After growing up with Molly Weasley for a mother, he knew better than to decline a woman when she offers you tea. Once the tea cups are out, you're doomed to stay until the tea is finished.

And so Ron entered the Department of Dangerous Importations of Meaningless Magical Objects.

And Hermione began her search for a window that she was actually capable of seeing through.

Which proved to be much harder than one would think.

Ronald Weasley was used to messes. He grew up in the burrow, where, although his mother tried her best to keep things neat and tidy, it wasn't entirely possible with seven children. However the mess that greeted him behind the old door was much, much worse. You'd think that wizards and witches, being perfectly able to tidy things up with the wave of a wand, would not have to deal with messes that looked like they were created by multiple natural disasters.

Evidently not.

It was mostly due to the fact that this department obviously didn't get many visitors.

As the blustering red head stumbled over a box, spilling the contents everywhere, he began to fear for his life. Evidently, there were some very dangerous magical objects that had been imported as of late. Proven thusly by the numerous explosives and test tubes lying scattered on the floor.

Sally was already sitting in the kitchen, pouring tea, and so Ron ran in a rushed fashion towards her, hoping to escape before something snuck out of one of the boxes and ate him alive.

He pulled out a chair and sat down across from the middle aged woman, who was already sipping her tea. Glancing nervously from side to side, he took a gulp of his own beverage, before nearly choking as he saw the old man, Bob, seated on a stool right beside him, scooting closer to him. Ron shuffled, hoping to gain a little bit of personal space. The man just continued to stare, an awed expression on his face.

Coughing awkwardly, Ron ruffled through his pockets hoping to find the piece of paper that Fred and George had given him just before he left. He pulled out a stack of paper and ruffled through it, finding his list of pick up lines and smiling inwardly. Quickly he glanced at the contents, and looked at the one that he had planned to use today when he got the chance.

Finally he found the small crumpled stick it note and handed it to the woman who was now also staring at him. With the gazes of both Sally and that Bob fellow, Ron wasn't entirely doubtful that he'd have a nervous breakdown right then and there.

The woman took the note and looked it over quickly.

"Ah right! You're here for the Weasley Wizarding Wheezes stock, am I right?"

Ron nodded. Sally stood up with a small smile and walked into the hallway, returning in a few seconds with a box, wrapped in yellow caution tape. It was rather concerning….

"Well, there were just a few legal things that the Ministry told us top address. Normally your products are relatively safe, or at least legal, however we believe that these products are not entirely common in the wizarding world, and so an inspection was needed."

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, as she slowly opened the box. From it she pulled a pair of mittens, a sock puppet, a strange painting with the face of an unsmiling woman and a miniaturized kangaroo stuffed animal. Ron looked at them quizzically. Alas, he, nor any other being on this planet, wizard or muggle, will ever understand the minds of the Weasley twins.

"Everything is in order, so if you want you can take-"

She was interrupted by the sound of a shout. The three pairs of eyes in the room were jerked towards the only window in the house where a girl stood, mouth open in shock. However it didn't seem as though the noise had come from her. The window was blurry, and so the people inside the shack couldn't make out any features.

Quickly they all ran outside to see what the fuss was about, the wizard by the name of Bob, stood quite close to Ron, making him feel, yet again, mildly uncomfortable.

From the rickety wooden porch they could see the figure of the girl running out of the lot that this department was located in. There were two official looking officers of some sort chasing after her, throwing disarming and other such curses at the fleeing character.

Suddenly they heard a crack, and all of their gazes flew to the glimpse of a man dressed in all black. They only caught the flash of red hair before he disapparated into nothingness.

"Stupid kids playing pranks," Bob said, spitting distastefully onto the dirt. Sally shook her head in disgust, whether from the mucus now lying on the ground or the fact that there was a suspicious intruder is unknown. Ron shook his head also, watching the figure run away, still followed by the shouts of furious wizard cops.

"Well, I better get going. Thank you for the tea!" Ron was about to take a step, when he felt himself pulled back into a hug by Uncle Bob. The man rubbed his cheek up against face in a very disturbing way. Sally scoffed.

"Uncle Bob, let the boy go. He has a life, unlike us." With that she pulled the man off, and dragged him back into the very memorable Department of Dangerous Importations of Meaningless Magical Objects, sending a back hand wave to the red headed boy.

Rest assured, Ron swore he was never going back to that nut house…

But at least now he could go back to the shop and see his beautiful Hermione.

"What do you mean 'You almost got caught'? You're a Weasley twin for goodness sake!" George shook his head in disappointment.

"It wasn't my fault! Hermione was the one who gave herself away. I just hope we don't have to bail her out of Azkaban. "

"It would be coming out of her paycheck…" George grumbled in reply.

"Yeah, but the matter still remains that I am a perfectly good snoop. No need to disown me or any-"

"Guys, I swear, if you ever send me back to that department I think I'll go bleeding insane." The twins were effectively cut off by Ron walking through the shop entrance, expression crossed between mentally scarred and amused.

"Darlingest brother," Fred began.

"Why on earth do you think we sent you there instead of ourselves?"

It was a rather good point.

And Ron knew it. So no arguments arose. Honestly he was probably used to it.

Fred and George finally caught sight of the box in his hands, their eyes lighting up like a children on Christmas day. They snatched it from his hands and the two of them rushed up the stairs into their titanium experimentation room of death.

Absentmindedly wondering where his favourite bookish brunette witch could be, Ron made his way towards the cash register, taking over for George who had been standing there previously. He glanced suspiciously at what looked to be a walkie-talkie system still lying on the counter.

He decided against questioning it. A rather good choice, if I do say so myself.

The door burst open, and in ran Hermione, face flushed and breath coming in heaves. Quickly she slammed the door shut behind her and stayed with her back up against the glass, her eyes still wide. She peered nervously through the glass, before turning back to her red head best friend.

As Ron stood there questioningly, he realized that now would be the best time to finally say his line. Maybe this time is would finally make her fall for him. She looked pretty close to collapsing already.

"Hey 'Mione,"

"Yes….Ron," She gasped out, in between panting.

"Are you tired?"

"Ronald, I'm exhausted. I just ran halfway here from the ministry, being chased by wizard cops who were randomly shooting spells at me, before I realized that I could dissapparate. In my hurry I almost splinched two of my fingers, and then once I got to Diagon Alley, I ended up at the leaky cauldron. Do you know who was there?"

She didn't leave time for Ron to answer.

"Neville Longbottom was there, that's who. And I love Neville, but that boy has a tendency to follow you around until you're ready to explode, so I ran out of there, and sprinted all the way here."

She blinked for a moment, finally her breathe was beginning to come back to her.

"Wait, why do you ask?"

"Well I was thinking that maybe it was because you've been running through my mind all day?"

"….No Ron, it wasn't."

And with that she groaned and sunk to the ground


A/N: Haha, Funny story here. You know how on the last chapter I was like: "Rawr, guys you gotta give me a deadline, so that I'll actually get this done... Blah Blah Blah, Rant, Rant, Rant..." You know, the usual. So basically, Lady Ice actually did give me a deadline. She said that I had a week to get this chapter finished. And you know what? I actually tried. I started it the next day... But it's now been-what two months? Three?- since then. I really am sorry, it's just, I haven't really just sat down and worked on it. I've just been doing it in parts. So guys, if you want to give me a deadline, please do. I'll try my best to follow through, but... there are no gaurantees...

So, as far as editing goes, I haven't even looked it over... I will, don't worry, I just have no intention of doing that now. So I apologize for any typos, grammatical errors, or blaring spelling mistakes. It's ineveitable that they'll be there.

Anyways, thank you once again to all you reviewers who contributed pick-up lines! I love to hear your suggestions, and since this story really has no plan whatsoever, if you have something that you'd like me to throw in, by all means tell me and I'll do my best! Today's Pick-up line was my own. It's one of my favourites and ever since the beginning I just knew that I had to throw it in. But I don't really have any others, except for the multiple one's that have been suggested, so feel free to give me a few!

Alright, I think that my goal (Unless someone gets me a tangible deadline to follow) will be to at least get another chapter up by the end of the month! Of course, you know the best way to get me to update is by reviewing... Let's just say that my morals aren't so high as to decline bribery...