When Alex woke the following morning, her head pounding, she was confused to find herself lying in bed. Stumbling from the bedroom she went to the kitchen to get a drink when she saw Maggie on her couch.
"Morning sunshine." Maggie greeted.
"Maggie? Why are you here?" Alex asked, her voice hoarse.
"Because you need a friend."
"I'm fine."
"You may have been too drunk to remember last night. But I wasn't. And you really need a friend. But first you need a shower and food."
"No food. I feel sick." Alex said.
"Fine, shower then." Maggie said.
"I'll shower when you've gone." Alex said.
"I'm not going anywhere." Maggie said. "So you may as well shower."
"I know you think you're helping. But you're not. I don't need you here. I'm fine." Alex replied just wanting time alone.
"What you are, is still drunk from last night." Maggie said. "You are also clearly hurting about something. So you can either go and shower by yourself or I will throw you in there. Either way I'm not going anywhere. So it's your choice." Maggie added, her final words causing Alex to pale before running to the bathroom and emptying the contents of her stomach.
Silently Maggie followed Alex and gently rubbed her hand on Alex's back trying to offer comfort.
When Alex had finally lost the contents of her stomach she sat on the bathroom floor and mumbled an embarrassed apology.
"Don't worry about it. Back when I was in uniform I spent my nights having to deal with drunk students and well you are way more polite." She smiled. "You okay?"
"No. But I have nothing left to bring up." Alex said only answering part of the question.
"Well, now you definitely need a shower so I'm going to wait in the lounge. Shout if you need anything."
-00-
"Mr Schott tell me you have something." J'onn said as he walked up to Winn.
"Not yet." Winn replied. "Well not entirely true, but I don't think it is the answer you want. I mean whilst it is an answer it is actually a question so I don't think it will help."
"Mr Schott." J'onn growled, interrupting Winn's babbling. "What have you got?"
"It's more what I don't got." Winn said but seeing how impatient J'onn was looking he explained. "I know that Cadmus are evil but they always have a plan. What they did makes no sense. After Alex killed Jeremiah why didn't they kill Alex and Kara. Don't get me wrong I am so happy they didn't, but doesn't it feel like we are not seeing the full picture."
"It does." J'onn agreed. "Since we rescued them I have been so caught up trying to help them I've taken my eye of the game."
"Which means they could be about to do something huge and we are completely unprepared." Winn said.
"Find out what it is." J'onn ordered.
"Sure." Winn said reflexively before scrunching his eyebrows in confusion and asking. "Um, how?"
"You're the genius." J'onn said before asking. "Have you spoken to Kara?"
"No, I mean I tried, but she keeps coming up with excuses." Winn explained.
"Did you see her when you first arrived back at the DEO?" J'onn asked.
"Yes."
"How did she seem?"
"Distraught."
"Anything else?" J'onn asked.
"What are you getting at?" Winn asked confused.
"At the Cadmus base Mon-El had to hold Kara up."
"So?" Winn asked not sure where J'onn was going.
"What happened to make her so weak?" J'onn questioned.
"You think they did something to her?"
"I don't know. But like you said there is more going on than we can see." J'onn said, wondering what the big picture was. "Let me know when you have found the Kryptonite and Cadmus." He added before walking off.
When he was sure J'onn had gone Winn started to type as he muttered. "And I though Cat was demanding."
-00-
"You need to eat." Maggie said when Alex emerged from her shower.
"Can't. I will be sick."
"That is what that much whiskey will do to you." Maggie said.
"Trust me it wasn't the whiskey." Alex said as she sat down on the couch.
"You want to talk?" Maggie asked.
"Nope."
"Why?"
"Talking won't change what I did."
"Might make it hurt less." Maggie said.
"No, it really won't. And I don't want it to. I deserve the hurt." Alex said.
"That's not true." Maggie said.
"It is. I'm a monster."
"Alex, you are kind, caring, funny and a whole lot stubborn. But you are not a monster."
"Yes I am." Alex said sadly as she pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them.
"Alex, you know I respect you right?"
"Yes."
"Whatever you tell me, that's not going to change."
"If I tell you, that respect will jump off the planet." Alex said bitterly.
"No it won't. And I feel it's only fair to warn you that I am a trained interrogator so I will get it out of you." Maggie assured her. "What happened?"
"I need a drink before I can talk about it." Alex said causing Maggie to pass her a bottle of water. "Not that type of drink."
"Talk about it and then we'll discuss a drink." Maggie said not backing down. "Look, right now you clearly feel like crap. Based on the state you were in last night part of you thinks it can't get worse so what do you have to lose from telling me?"
"Kara was taken by Cadmus." Alex started.
"Why?" Maggie questioned wondering why Kara had shown no signs of her captivity.
"That's complicated. But they had a plan, they wanted me to make a choice."
"A choice?" Maggie asked suddenly feeling guilty about her earlier choice of words to Alex.
"There was a man about to kill her. I had a choice, kill him or watch him kill Kara."
"So you killed him?"
"I hesitated, but yes."
"Sounds like you did what you had to do."
"That's what I always do, what I have to do." Alex said sadly as tears started to roll down her face.
"That man you killed was going to kill your sister." Maggie said unable to understand why Alex was taking it so hard.
"That man was my father." Alex said bitterly.
Not knowing what to say Maggie wrapped an arm round Alex and hugged her, holding her until she felt Alex's crying subside.
"You are going to be okay." Maggie said wondering how she could help her friend.
-00-
"Hey." Mon-El smiled as he sat next to Kara. "What are you doing down here?"
"I needed time to think."
"By think, do you mean drink?" He asked noticing an empty glass in front of her. "Because while I am not so good at thinking, drinking is a special skill we learn on Daxam so I could join you and help." He offered.
"I meant think, only I couldn't see the answer so I tried to drink."
"Drinking is better for times of joy rather than times of sadness." Mon-El said before offering. "Would it help to talk?"
"Alex is hurt because of me." Kara said sadly. "I am meant to protect people. But the person I care most about I failed."
"What happened is not your fault." Mon-El said.
"I let myself get captured."
"Do you blame me for when I got captured?"
"No. They kidnapped you."
"How is that different to what happened to you?"
"I flew into a trap. I should have seen it, but I didn't. I am meant to be better than that. Alex and J'onn always tell me I need to be more aware of the dangers, but I never listened. And now Jeremiah is dead and Alex is broken."
"So why are you here, rather than with Alex?" Mon-El asked.
"Alex hates me. She and Jeremiah were so close. And now he is dead and it is my fault. If I had never come to this planet he would still be alive. Alex would be happy. She'd have a life."
"I can't pretend to understand what you and Alex are feeling right now, but I do know Alex loves you. She chose to save you, so don't give up on her."
"I would never give up on Alex." Kara said. "I just want what is best for her. Every time she sees me she will be reminded of what happened. She needs time away from me." She explained just before her phone bleeped. "I have to go, there's an armed robbery."
"Do you need help?" Mon-El asked concerned that Kara may not be entirely sober.
"Not this time." Kara said before leaving.
-00-
"Were you close?" Maggie asked handing Alex a glass of whiskey.
"We were. Growing up it always felt he was the only one who got me. He'd let me tag along when he was working and he knew when to treat me as a kid and when to treat me like an adult. I could always talk to him about anything and he never judged. Then one day he went away for work, I remember watching him go, feeling helpless. He never came back. We were told that he had died in a plane crash. But last year after I told my mom I worked for the DEO she told me so did my father. He was forced into it by Hank Henshaw, the original Hank, not J'onn. A mission went wrong and my father died. The plane crash was just a cover. Only a few months ago we found out he hadn't died he was captured by Cadmus."
"Why would Cadmus want your father?"
"Same reason the DEO did. He knew more about Superman than anyone else on Earth."
"How?"
"My parents helped Superman understand his abilities."
"Is that why you and Supergirl are so tight?"
"In a way." Alex said looking into her drink. "It's kind of complicated but both Superman and Supergirl are family."
"I have heard rumours about what happens at Cadmus and the second your father was taken the man you knew died." Maggie offered.
"He was still my father." Alex said tears flowing freely again.
"He was trying to kill your sister. Would the man you knew have ever done that?" Maggie asked.
"No. And that made me think that it wasn't really him." Alex said. "I was so convinced my father would never hurt Kara I convinced myself that he must be a clone or some other experiment. If I had known it was him, I don't think I could have done it. So in a way I betrayed both my dad and Kara."
"It may have been your father's body, but he wasn't your father." Maggie said squeezing Alex's hand.
"Then why does it hurt so much?" Alex sobbed.
"Because you are a good person."
"No, I'm really not." Alex confessed. "What you don't know is that I have form. I killed Kara's aunt." Alex said taking another gulp.
"Does Kara know?" Maggie asked trying not to look shocked by the revelation.
"Yes. Despite lying about it for weeks she forgave me. But I really don't understand why, especially now. I mean it wasn't like I wanted to kill her, but she was about to kill J'onn. I made a choice, like I always do and she died. Now the same thing happens with my dad and I can never forgive me for what I did so how can Kara forgive me?"
"Alex, listen to me. You did what you had to do to save Kara." Maggie said.
"Not at first. I hesitated."
"Of course you hesitated. Alex you were forced into making a choice that no one should be forced into making. Most people would have done nothing because they weren't strong enough to make a decision."
"It hurts so much." Alex said.
TBC...
A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing. Next chapter up on Friday.
