A/N: I love snow and cold! (not...) Anyway my wonderful internet connection being what it is at the moment, which is anything but civil to speak of, I've not had the chance to properly update. Thank you all who who are giving your support, it means a lot. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this next chapter.

Inky Black Redemption
Chapter 4

The office was busy, but not completely hectic. Natsuki went about working on her latest and greatest masterpiece, sighing dejectedly, when she'd heard people shouting at Nao from across the street. It came not as a shock, but a disappointment that the ruckus had made her misspell a word. She found that the little strips she used to blot ink were empty, and that irked her. Stepping out into the hall, where Yukino sat pattering away on a few documents, she nodded to herself. Yukino was swimming in paperwork. By the contrast, Shizuru's desk was clean, nearly spotless and organized to perfection. It was the perfect spot to find some unused strips, though, that wasn't what greeted Natsuki when she first pulled the top drawer open.

Crumpled papers seemed to be shoved near the back, and while Natsuki often didn't finder herself one for prying, she found it rather odd that Shizuru would be hording random scraps of paper. She plucked one nearest to her, and tried to smooth out the horrifically crumpled mess. She'd expected many things, Shizuru's creativity being one of them, but this surpassed her expectations. The first few lines were something that brought her great interest. After peeking up at the hallway, she gathered the other little torn bits and carried them into her office, shutting the door behind her.

None of the entries were long, little tidbits here or there. However, that wasn't Natsuki's point of interest. Instead, her eyes focused on the things between the lines, the points when the words seemed to cut off, as if, for whatever reason, the typist had pulled themselves from whatever inward prison they'd found themselves in...forgoing even finishing the mere thought, let alone an entire page. The content was lack luster, but still a diamond, one waiting to be polished, and it was with that idea in mind, Natsuki found herself playing with the tatters, as if they were a puzzle to unravel.

Natsuki smirked at that, an idea had come to her attention. She began to place a new clean sheet of paper into the machine before setting to work collecting only the finest segments, ones that could be salvaged, or at the very least, rewritten. she took the latter and put those in a folder. It took well over an hour to put back together Shizuru's tattered array of musings, ones that seemed to be just long enough to tease a person, but short enough to be little more than blurb. She eyed the paper in front of her, and carefully sipped her soda.

If she were to propose to Shizuru such an idea as this, the woman would need protection, a solid one.

Written musings by Viola. Natsuki wrote freehand across as a pad of paper...then, she decided against it. She crossed most of it out. Viola. She liked that name, something hard to predict, hard to read...nearly unidentifiable. Viola...she wrote the name and then sighed aloud. "Viola...a woman who provokes the most uncanny of things...as if to call forth questions most of a common mind would not dare to think..." She muttered to herself before coming up with the perfect title for the segment. She filed the little number away in her desk, something to bring up in conversation later as she returned to her own staggering work.

She felt so new and invigorated that she fervently typed away at the keys as if they were her very breath. She hadn't even noticed that lunch had arrived until Shizuru came walking in with Natsuki's portion. "Someone seems a bit busy." Shizuru commented putting Natsuki's meal in front of her. "Newly inspired, or perhaps just irritated at the world?" She frowned at the the glare that eyes seemed to burn into Natsuki's compilation.

"A bit of both." Natsuki said then as she turned off her typewriter with a gentle voice. "Although honestly, I've had my mind on other things recently." Natsuki bit her lip then, tonight's date on her mind. With her judgement clouded on what to wear, she found that typing anything was beyond difficult. She knew that was particularly odd, since she was not normally the type to get so giddy over a date. Truth be told, as Takeda often took great pleasure in, Natsuki rarely dated at all. Her interest in others very select, and generally fleeting at best. "I've arranged a bit of a cover for us this evening, so don't be alarmed when a strapping young man comes to the door."

"You've taken great care into planning this little outing of ours, haven't you?" Shizuru's comment offhanded and jovial, as she contented herself with the kettle of water that sat atop a hotplate. Fresh tea at the forefront of her mind, as she always enjoyed during her lunch break. "I do hope that you've managed to get something written, in the least."

"A swing, and a miss." Natsuki's reply twofold. "I wouldn't say I've planned out all that much of our day, but it has been keeping me thoroughly distracted." Natsuki answered then, in between a bite of her meal, and clearing her desk of any papers that might suffer if she didn't. Her salad was covered in mayo, to the point that the once leafy greens had wilted. "I have regular haunts, so to speak, and it really is an easy choice. Though, since it is a double, for our own protection, I've made sure that our partners in crime are at lest good friends. Takeda, like us, often wishes he could have a night on the town, without having people stare at him."

"Then I guess it's a good thing you've invited him along." Shizuru was about to sit down, to enjoy a short natter, when Haruka's voice came bellowing through the hall like a wrecking ball. "Oh my, what happened this time?" Shizuru inquired as both she and Natsuki gazed down the long corridor, only hearing the shouting, and not seeing the cause.

"Oh, there are any number of reasons why Haruka bellows." Natsuki disregarded it. "Haruka would have come in the room spitting fire by now, if it had truly been something drastic. Nao probably said something to upset her again. It happens often enough, though, I suppose Chie could have been caught with Aoi...the two of them do tend to cause a stir." The work in her desk came to mind, Shizuru's musing, to be spoken of at a later date perched at the tip of her tongue. "I wouldn't worry, come sit and enjoy your meal." She wished she could idly discuss something of the sort. Still, now was not the time, and though her fingers rested on the metal handle of her drawer, she knew well to keep a low profile. "Tell me, when you decided to apply here, just what sort of position were you intending to find?" Still, like a kitten to water, Natsuki found herself splashing in the low tide.

"I'm sure this comes as a shock, but, I honestly didn't have a plan." She'd played with many ideas when she'd first written her resume. The mere idea of even working in any environment seemed better than staying at home. "I let my mind trifle around here and there, but in the end, I knew I'd be happy to just be hired. This place is different Natsuki, so much in fact, that I find myself amazed every time I walk through those doors." If it was Natsuki's cool exterior towards most, or Haruka's brash temper, Shizuru remained unsure. She knew there would never be an environment quite like this one, a motley set of coworkers only part of the magic.

"So, you never thought to get into journalism directly." Natsuki nodded. "Quite odd really, since you strike me as the type to want to venture out. I know you well enough by now, to know that you are by far nothing of what your resume states." No, Shizuru went above and beyond the simple words on that paper. "You remind me a lot of Nao, in her younger years. Plenty enough to say, but no way in which to say it. Though, I assume that's what makes you so interesting. Even when you first came into my office, I knew that you were of an inquiring mind."

"That's kind of you to say." Shizuru said meekly, unsure of where Natsuki's words were stemming from.

"I mean it, and not just because of my interest in you." Natsuki said then, her thumb running across the cold metal, and she wished she could say something, but she knew now, Shizuru was becoming meek, as if she could be one of those flighty writers. "Everyone here has a chance to write at least one article. We work here because we want a voice, and if you ever want to speak yours, Shizuru, you need only to ask, and I will enable you. It's what I've done for everyone here, and you would be no different."

The long workday finally came to an end, but not before Nao had managed to harass the picketers with some spoiled garbage, the cause for Haruka's ranting now well known. As if that weren't enough, one of the machines insisted remaining on the fritz, and being one machine down was an increasing amount of work. Some would be staying late into the night, purely to play catchup. Natsuki would usually be apart of the crew, as would Nao and Chie, the three of them often pulling more hours than all of the others. Purely out of passion, not obligation. Still, Natsuki's evening was already preoccupied, so although she persisted when others went home, there too had to come a time when she vacated her desk, leaving Nao and Chie alone.

Some would question it, most would think her stupid...but she knew well she could trust them. It also helped that she bribed them with some extra pay from her own pocket if things went by smoothly. Though for some, the pocket coins offered seemed unimportant, Nao knew that with it, she could afford her mother's medicine for another day. She'd be a fool to pass that up. She would behave and work, merely for that alone. Chie, who lived by herself, took joy in sticking her nose into details that was not her own. She did it with a spring in her step, so long as she could dish out the dirty details. Natsuki only had to promise the woman free rein on a few of her more deplorable topics, and Chie was well enough amused.

So, with the residual work safely in check, Natsuki prepared for her date...though, she found it harder than she thought it would be.

It wasn't often that she would put on a dress, she loathed the attire completely. It was even more of a rarity that she would put on any sort of makeup, and when she did, she made point to select only the minimum required amount. Still, she took pride in the fact that she could look drop dead amazing in the little number she had on, if only she chose to do so, and for Shizuru, she would. It was a cocktail dress in blue, and the heels she chose with it, while not very high, did give her calves that extra lift she'd been hoping for. She knew she was stunning, but she also knew how often that would attract problems.

There were many young men who often tried to grasp onto even just a moment of her attention when she dressed as a woman should. That was why she preferred to avoid their attention at all cost. She also couldn't deny the fact that the clothes men donned were far more comfortable. She almost didn't recognize herself in the mirror, the first gander something of a shock, and she sighed a shaky breath.

Her boggled mind was easily noticed by her companions. "You look just fine, Natsuki." Takeda told her, both in truth, and in comforting jest. "If we don't hurry out of here we'll be late. You can't keep a lady waiting, it's rude."

"Don't startle the poor girl." Both of these men were tall, dark, and handsome. Reito's charm was not only in his looks, but his princely like demeanor, something the women would fawn over at the drop of a hat. "We've got plenty of time." He was of slender build, but also a strong, gentle man, who's eyes shimmered with kindness and unfounded loyalty. His hair was jet black, and cropped short. However, he, unlike his dark features and simple smile, was indeed true gentleman.

"You drive like a snail." Takeda said then, a truthful statement. "If we put him behind the wheel, we'll never make it in time." Takeda was a strapping, brazen man, who's outgoing and forthcoming demeanor often dazzled the ladies. Unlike Reito, who enjoyed a suitable flirt here or there, normally rejected oncoming advances, his heart for one, and one alone. His hair, a dark brown, like a shadow to his deep completion, something of an oddity that gifted him many a problem. "I should drive."

"Are you daft?" Finally she found her purse and was thankful it still looked to be in good condition, considering she'd left it in the corner of her closet. "I'll be the one driving tonight, besides, I'm the only one who knows where Shizuru lives." Natsuki's words were law, as she was likely the best driver, though she herself didn't own a vehicle. It was simply out of her budget, and out of the realm of possibility, knowing she'd have no place safe to put it. "When we get to the house, Reito will go and sweep her up. To be honest I can't wait."

"I loathe being the errand boy." Reito said as he rolled his eyes, pocketing the money Natsuki had given them. "Is she at least a prim and proper young woman?" She had promised to pay for their meals, knowing that the personal friend of theirs was not a cheep place to eat, remotely. It was, however, safe...and she liked the idea of safe. "I'd hate to be over dressed." Both of the men were in suits, even if the occasion didn't quite call for it.

"Well, she isn't Nao." Natsuki replied back, a small smirk on her face at Reito's deject sigh. "Shizuru was raised in a household of good christian people, with good christian morals...and her parents want to wed her off to a proper young man...only the best for their daughter." Natsuki muttered as she led them outside and through the back door.

"So, in other words, everything that you are not. I see, though, it makes perfect sense." Reito sighed then, understanding why he would be the one doing the pick up. "I'm going to burn in the pit of hell for this." His bold declaration earned merely a snort in response and he felt at a loss. "I do hope her parents won't expect me to get jolly with her."

"Even if they didn't, I would highly encourage it, within reason, of course." Natsuki said then, her voice low as they approached the parked ford. "I really like Shizuru, and if you would be so kind as to put up an act, we'd finally be in the clear. I could properly date Shizuru, and you could do the same with Takeda. This is in your best interest, just as it is mine."

"You and your big dreams." Reito said then, though he handed Natsuki the key as he said it. "I doubt anyone could keep up."

"Reito, my love, I think you're missing the point. No one needs to keep up." Takeda's voice though deject, was filled with his version of the truth. "She intends to bring the future to us, not the other way around. Such a foolhardy woman should know better. One day, she'll be discovered, mark my words."

"I'll mark them in my blood, should it ever fall from my body." Natsuki said then, the tone honest, and slightly fearful. "Even so, I would do it with a smile, not even death would be a worthy opponent for my happiness, if I could be with Shizuru for one more day. I would regret nothing, I assure you."

"I was afraid you'd say that." Takeda finally gave in with a sigh falling from his lips as they drove through the city. "Natsuki, I implore you, please be careful. It isn't every day you find your eye caught on something, and now that it's set on a woman, I fear you may just be ill prepared."

"I don't need a lamb skin, and she isn't a concubine." Natsuki said then, a smirk on her face as she peered at the two men in the back seat. "I fail to see how I'm ill prepared."

"Natsuki...this alibi won't hold out forever." Takeda's low warning uttered in simple defiance. "Be mindful of that." It was his silent plea, and she knew it.

"Leave her to her fun." Reito said then, putting his hand on Takeda's shoulder, trying desperately to comfort him. "We've found happiness and warmth, and we also risk a great deal by doing so. You've no right to scold her, or continue to prattle on like some old buffoon." He knew Takeda cared for Natsuki, and though he would never be in love with her, there was a profound attachment that no one would dare speak of. "All will go well, you'll see."

"This evening surely will." Natsuki's voice filled with hope at that. "Everything beyond that, not even god has the foresight to see." The rest of the drive was endured in mostly comfortable silence, though she noticed the soft gleaming in Reito's eyes, something of a smirk on his lips as Takeda rolled his eyes in dismay. They were an odd pair, even she could admit that, but, she dare not say a word, her eyes focusing on the road ahead.

"Really father, if you'd kindly leave the window alone, I'm sure time wouldn't pass by so slowly." Shizuru said as she sipped her tea. "A watched pot never boils, you know."

"I just wish you would have told me of your date earlier." Her father grumbled absentmindedly, the thick glasses upon the bridge of his nose seeming to slip at every notice. "I'm always kept out of the loop, it's such a travesty. You're my only daughter Shizuru, and I intend that you find the care of a good man."

"Tadao dear, come sit down and read, you look like a loon." Suzume sighed as she focused on the book that occupied her eyes, though she had an urge to roll them at her husband, his antics childlike and questionable. He could be a very playful man, but to do it in front of the large window spoke of little more than trouble.

"Haven't you any bit of interest in Shizuru's young man?" The grumpy retort was met with a quiet glare and he sighed. "I'm just acting as a concerned father would." He then turned to his daughter again, curiosity tickling him, the mere idea of her finding a suitor both frightening and exciting. "You really should tell me about this boy. I haven't heard a peep about it."

"There really isn't much to tell, Father." Shizuru didn't have anything she could say to that, his questions becoming both bothersome and taxing. She needed to get creative, little white lies in the back of her mind, though she didn't want to use them. "He's kind, well educated, good looks, and a hard worker...at least, according to what I've heard." Shizuru tallied off all that she could, in hopes that perhaps she could persuade her father to leave her alone. "Natsuki invited me along on a double, and I thought it might be fun, but I'm as blind as you are." She didn't want to lie, but if he kept it up, she'd have to start.

"Of all the people to trust." Tadao sighed dejectedly. "Natsuki is a nice girl, don't get me wrong, but she is a bit..." He couldn't think of a nice way to say things, and merely shook his head. "She's a very odd little duckling, who's seemed to confused herself. She acts as if she were a prince instead of a swan." It was the nearest thing he could come up with. Even that description lacked something.

Shizuru suppressed a smile at that. Natsuki was quite princely in her own, subtle ways. However, before she could come up with a proper defense, her mother thankfully cut in. It was a rarity, but a gift, during times like this. "Shizuru is plenty old enough to make her own assumptions." Suzume said quietly as she sipped on the tea she had next to her. "She doesn't need us to do it for her. Besides, when this boy comes to the door, you'll get a glimpse of him then." It was at that, when the car pulled up. Natsuki and Takeda exiting the car to stand on the street corner, while a strapping young man dressed to impress meandered up the walkway with flowers in hand. "See there he is now." Suzume offered gratefully, returning to her book.

"Oh goody." A low rumbling laugh came from Tadao's belly. "Now I can meet this lad." The women shared a look at the jovial tone that slipped from his lips. An inward sigh they dare not breath, something they agreed upon.

"You keep away from that door Tadao, don't go making trouble." Suzume warned, not allowing for any debate.

Tadao thought about that as he took in the appearances before him. Natsuki was actually dressed as a proper woman, something he hadn't seen in all of his memory. She was beautifully dressed, and the young man next to her was of respectable people, he knew that boy's family personally. The other one, he had never met before, but still understood the implication. Tadao nodded approvingly, seeing that the boy coming to their door was properly suited to the occasion, and looking man enough to trust.

Even as he escorted their daughter out for the evening, he did so with a positive stride in his step, confidence in his eyes, and a gentle smile, thankfully from the neck up. "That boy better treat her carefully." Tadao grumbled as he watched them enter the car and drive away. "Hopefully, with any luck, she'll be home at a respectable hour."

"And even if she were to dance until dawn, you'd best not complain." Suzume finally told him, wagging her finger in a scolding manner. "You may be king of this house, but I'm still the queen, and if you so much as utter one peep at her for going out with that young man, you'll be eating your dry cleaning. I surely won't cook for a pig headed dictator."

Her husband merely frowned and crossed his arms. Such a threat, while true, was not of his concern. "You aren't worried in the slightest?" Tadao asked his wife then, genuinely curious about that aspect.

"Tadao, she's a young woman." She told him as she turned the page in her book. "Even if she dares not speak of what her heart desires, she still holds them near at all times. That's just the way we women are. We dare not have our fathers know about what we do, you know I surely never spoke to my father about us." She smiled then, the perplexed look that fell over his normally stern face something comical. "I'll fish around for details later, but only after Shizuru is willing to dish them out. Leave her alone until then."

"Oh you should have seem him. I thought he was about to burst." Two couples sat around the table in the back corner as Shizuru regaled them on her father's misadventure. "He kept toying with the hems of the drapes, as if that would make time go by faster. It was highly amusing. Honestly, I wish we'd have had a photographer for that one." Their refuge of choice was a place Shizuru had never eaten at, but the smells were divine. It wasn't exactly a hub for the youngsters, but, it didn't attract an older crew either. The place a quiet lounge, a safe seclusion, owned by a good friend of three of them.

"I'll bet." Natsuki chuckled then as their food came. "Then again, you should have seen it from our perspective, his jaw was nearly on the floor. I thought he was trying to catch flies."

"Father has a tendency to excite himself over the silliest things." Shizuru nodded, thanking the waitress with a nod when her small dinner salad landed softly in front of her. "You know, there could have been any number of things he could have been imagining. That meddlesome mind of his never seems to find rest."

"With all of his fawning at the window, I half expected him to follow you out to the car." Natsuki smirked then. "He looked at me as if I'd grown a second head."

"Well, I'm sure he assumed you'd be dressed in your usual attire." Shizuru laughed at the idea. "He always refers to you as some sort of confused duckling."

"That doesn't honestly surprise me." Mai barged into the conversation with an exasperated tone, continuing to serve the food. "Natsuki is odd, nearly to the point I wonder if she really is a man underneath all of her bluster."

"If I was a man, at least I'd be a better one than the coward you call a husband." Natsuki's tactless retort earned her a glare from her friend and waitress. She ignored Mai completely, and just smiled at Shizuru. Then she crossed her arms, and shook her head at fond memories that she pretended to hate. "Your dad used to make so much fun of me, saying I might as well have been a boy. I don't think he's ever seen me in a dress, since when I was younger I refused to wear them. I'll bet I gave him a fright. It serves him right, I say."

"Come now, don't be so rude." Reito sighed at the banter. Natsuki's soft barbs were in good nature, giving Shizuru a genuine smile. "I'm sure your father is a wonderful man, though, I do think he could do with a hobby of some kind." It was then, that his rich, thick steak was placed in front of him. "Ah, Mai, thank you for the wonderful food, and the reprieve." He told the carrot top waitress as she also filled up his glass with more ice water.

"Not a problem." The busty redhead shrugged. "We're closing in a few minuets anyway." Then she looked at the newcomer, and then to Natsuki. She didn't like the fact that she was hiding gays here, but they were close friends, and she couldn't deny them, even if she, herself couldn't agree with it. "I suppose you'd like the blinds closed, and the radio on?" Either way, she could hide in the back kitchen with her husband all night if she wished. It bothered her very little, as long as she didn't have to see what might be going on.

"That would actually be wonderful." They all could agree on that, though it was Natsuki who spoke up first.

Mai nodded with a sigh. "I don't want to see it, hear of it, or even think of it." Mai told them all then, as if that was her warning. "No monkeying around of any kind, least you all burn images into my mind."

"You won't hear a thing, I assure you." Reito grinned. "I'd have Takeda home well before that point." Mai didn't dare comment on that one, knowing Reito's personality. Natsuki snickered behind her napkin as the others smiled outwardly. The busty woman waved them off and left them to their meals in the privacy of the empty room. She didn't want any further part in their little scheme, and was happy to stay in the back until they decided to finish their evening.

"You'll have to excuse Mai and Tate...when all of us are in the same room together, it bothers them." Natsuki said then, taking a rather large bite of her thick beef burger. Her smirk seemed to be plastered to her face. "Mai's a good friend, but she can't understand our feelings."

"That's putting it mildly." Takeda said then under his breath. "Still, there are many people who love and support us, even if they don't understand. The only issue is, they really don't like it, and honestly don't approve. I'm sure Mai would intervene if she had any inclination that doing such a thing would work. She knows the truth though, that it can't be changed."

"It must be wonderful, hiding behind such a well constructed lie. I imagine it gifts you unimaginable freedom to act out in love." Shizuru said softly. "I'll bet it's amazing."

"Only if the lie works." Natsuki said then, partaking of the soda on the table. "To be honest, sometimes I fear that it may not, and if we're ever found out, everything we dream of would be taken away." Still as she reached out, pushing a lock of fawn behind Shizuru's ear, she shook her head, her voice soft. "Yet, I still dare to make my dream a reality, and I'll do that in whatever way I can."

"What Natsuki's trying to say, is that we'd like you to complete our little white lie." Reito said then, as he put down his knife and fork. "You see, outwardly Natsuki and Takeda appear to be young lovers, and they've managed to fool a great number of people. I myself have yet to find a woman who can compliment such a thing for me, but, my eyes are only for Takeda. I don't wish to make a dishonest woman out of anyone, when my heart is only for him alone."

"Mine is surely empty without you around, Shizuru." Natsuki replied then. "I'd like for you to be by my side, to open your heart for me alone, but, the problem is, in this world teaming with hate, there is only one safe way of doing that. Let Reito protect you, and let me embrace you. I assure you, you won't regret it." Takeda led Reito off to go dance giving Natsuki and Shizuru some privacy, and Natsuki wordlessly thanked them from across the room, a subtle glance all they needed before the two lovers got lost within their own whimsical night. "The two of them so rarely get the chance to go out, but when they do, they come here."

"They seem lost within each other. Such a perfect couple." Shizuru felt awestruck seeing two grown men dance together, flitting across the floor, both of them wonderful dancers. "There is indeed a beauty when love finds a person, regardless of who it happens to be with."

"I've always wanted something like that myself." Natsuki nodded as she went back to her food, thinking of Mai's cooking, always a treat in and of itself. "Though, I wouldn't say they're perfect, in fact sometimes I think they're both unfit for each other...you should see how they fight, it's nearly explosive." Though, outwardly, she doubted anyone would be able to tell of such a thing now. Their longing gazes something that would easily send even the most devoted lovers into a jealousy unmatched. "It's such a shame they aren't able to be truthful about their feelings."

"If they wish to be lovers, I doubt they have a choice. It must be so difficult." Shizuru's words were a grim truth, and she frowned at her own realization. "I don't know if I can go on deceiving my family either. I've never been very good at it, and, I hate the idea of having to pick between love or a family."

"Simply don't." Natsuki said as she put her hand over Shizuru's own. "It can be difficult, but there are rewards that come from this. Being able to take you to a drive-in movie, and then dine with you...well, I would call that a gift of luck. To be here with you now, where I can express in words what I would never dare say otherwise, I believe there is freedom in that, but, it does come with a price."

Shizuru licked her lips at the thought of that, and sighed deeply. "I wish this didn't have to be so hard." With the low light reflecting shadows on the walls, the candles flickered with a depth that Shizuru wished she didn't have to see. "You are a beautiful woman Natsuki. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like." There was longing in Natsuki's eyes, and it poured out freely from her voice with every word she spoke. "However, you know as well as I, this would never work...and if they find out, it would bring nothing but pain."

"Then I would let them come at me, my arms wide open." Natsuki said softly. "My love would be a testament to all that I've lived, the slander, the hate...it could paint the street red, and I wouldn't harbor any regrets. I could be beaten and bruised for all eternity, and I wouldn't regret a single moment, because when I began to speak out in the names of many, I decided to do it with my heart on the line." Shizuru's hand was warm, her eyes were safe, and her voice was a melody Natsuki couldn't do without. "But, Shizuru, I've made sacrifices because of it, one of them being my happiness. I may dress like a man, but I'm fully, and utterly a woman. I can't be soft, I can't waver, but that's a lonely life, and I don't want to be that way anymore."

"Natsuki, don't look at me in such need." Shizuru's voice betrayed her. "I can't deny you, when you look at me with type of expression. Don't make this harder on both of us...being born this way is bad enough, without trying to hide romance. I don't know if I can be strong enough to love anyone in the shadows, and so, I'd rather just not love at all...but being with you, it makes thing so difficult, and I thought, perhaps I could find some other way around my feelings...but the truth is, I simply can't. You consume me, Natsuki, and that's a very dreadful thing."

"It was because I was born like this, with this feeling for others like myself, that I can stand up to the slander. I do it for those who can't." With her shaking fingers, she reached out to cup Shizuru's cheek, the woman dared not pull away, but her hesitant gaze grew fearful at the all knowing distance that seemed to lessen between them. "Still, I need someone who will stand with me. I know it's reckless...but I just can't be friends with you, not when you drift into my mind every day. I worry about you, care about you...and if given time, I could-"

Natsuki pulled her hand away, realizing what she was about to do, sighing deeply as she instead began to eat her food. It was a lovely night, and she had enjoyed the show at the drive-in. Having Shizuru lean into her had been the best feeling in the world, and she would dare to do it again every weekend just for that warm feeling. The dinner she was eating now, late though it was, made her understand how lonely she was every night, eating without a sound, her mornings the same. Shizuru hadn't entirely rejected her, but she saw the wavering, lingering uncertainty within crimson eyes, and that had made Natsuki feel very fragile.

"You could what, Natsuki?" Shizuru breathed, waiting for the words she longed to hear. They didn't come, and would likely never be uttered. Still, as Natsuki's warm hand returned to her cheek, an unspoken understanding wafted through them, and it drew them in, their lips a silent reverie.

"Learn what this feeling means." Natsuki whispered then, a heated truth masked behind chivalry. "Tonight though, if I may, I'd like to indulge in a dance, and hold you in my arms. That alone would be enough for me, Shizuru, because it would fill my heart with hope, and you've no idea how badly I need that right now."


Hope you all liked this chapter...the next one is written, but it's not typed up yet, and I spilled some coffee on it earlier when I was half asleep...so needless to say it'll be a bit before I have it typed and ready to be posted.