A bit of misgendering/sexist language and mild violence in this one.


"You sure you can't tell?" Mello asks as soon as they get off the bus. He's asked Matt at least five times, and that's after he checked in the mirror before leaving.

Matt rolls his eyes fondly as he inspects Mello once again for signs of the binder underneath his shirt. "Yes, I'm sure. You look fine, Mel." Mello finds himself being kissed, and he uses the opportunity to pull Matt close enough to feel their flat chests pressing together. Yes. This is right.

He pulls away, grinning. He watches Matt shove his hands into the pockets of his coat as they start walking, and for a moment he thinks that it'd be nice to hold his hand, but then he decides that that would be really fucking sappy. He slides his own cold hands into the pockets of his black jeans instead. Spring hasn't even started yet, but it's a pretty nice day, and he's so elated with finally being free from wearing T-shirts and jumpers that are three sizes too big that he hasn't bothered with a jacket. He looks down at the dark fabric lying flat against his chest, and even though the binder is tight and kind of uncomfortable, his stomach flips over with how good this feels.

"I can't believe they sent us into town again." Matt smirks at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"They did skip us a few times. I guess they're giving us another chance."

Matt laughs. "Why, though? We stayed away the whole day last time."

Mello shrugs, the shopping list crumpled up at the bottom of his pocket, long forgotten. "So what are we going to do?"

Matt looks like he's about to answer, but then he spots something on the ground of the park they've just reached. Mello frowns as he watches him pick it up. "Oh, sweet! There's three left."

"I'm not kissing you if you're smoking," Mello threatens, but Matt's already looking around, figuring out how he's going to light the cigarettes.

"Whatever Mel, you know you can't resist me anyway," he replies mock-seductively, before his gaze falls on a tall, wiry boy smoking a joint on a bench. "Hey, dude! Can I use your lighter?"

The boy, probably a couple of years older than them, looks unimpressed. "Little young to be smoking, aren't you? Do your parents know?" Then he discovers Mello, and his mouth curls into a foul grin. He stands up, looking down at him. "You can have my lighter if she sucks my dick."

For a moment, Mello freezes. He's vaguely aware of Matt opening his mouth to speak, but before he gets a chance, Mello's fist connects with the guy's face.

The boy stares at Mello as his hand flies up to his face, catching the blood dripping from his nose. "You crazy bitch!" He spits out. He lunges toward Mello, but since he's stoned and still seems somewhat baffled at Mello punching him in the first place, Mello's reflexes are sharper. He just about manages to avoid the guy's arm and punches him again.

"Fucking hell!" The guy staggers, and this time it's Matt who steps close to him and grabs him by his shirt.

"Don't you ever fucking talk to my boyfriend like that again," he says in a low voice Mello has never heard from him before. "Or you're going to have to fight us both."

The guy doesn't seem very interested in that prospect and stumbles off, blood still dripping from his face.

Mello glares at Matt. "I can take care of myself, you know."

"Yeah, I noticed," Matt says, pointedly looking at Mello's hands as he rubs his knuckles. "Christ, Mel."

Mello climbs onto the back of the bench, his feet resting on the seat. Matt joins him, but not before grabbing the lighter the guy has left behind along with his half smoked joint. He lights one of the cigarettes. Mello watches him smoke, digging his nails into his sore hand. The exhilarated feeling from earlier is completely gone. It feels like someone threw a bucket of ice water on him. "Do I really look like a girl?"

Matt takes a few moments to answer. Mello stares straight ahead, not wanting to look him in the eye as he tries to form an opinion. "I don't know, Mel," Matt finally says with a sigh. "I've always known you as a boy, so that's how I see you."

Fair enough. Mello chews on his bottom lip. He knows it's only one guy, and perhaps it'll never happen again, but he's got this nagging feeling that this is only the beginning. He knows that the more he's leaving behind his childhood, the less he's able to hold on to his androgynous appearance. "I need to see someone. About blockers and hormones and stuff."

"Yeah," Matt agrees, without missing a beat. "I mean, if you want to. Not because I think you look, you know."

Mello glances at Matt, somewhat surprised. Mello's been researching this stuff for a while now, but he doesn't think most kids at Wammy's would know what he's talking about. Which means Matt has been reading about it, too. With all the strength he has in him, he manages to muster a half-hearted smile. "So. Boyfriend, eh?"

Matt's face colours pink as he takes another drag of his cigarette. "Piss off."