Name That Quote

"Welcome to my evil space station! Station! Station! Cookie! Station! Wait, did you hear that? That cookie part? I think my echo's broken."

"Doctor! Doctor! Doctor! Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to shout. I'm just excited for my latest chapter of The Quote Phineas and Ferb Game! Mark my words, it'll be the best one yet!"

"Why did I say, 'mark my words'? I mean, they just mean, 'listen to my words'; why don't I just say listen to my words?"

"Well, it was either that, or we break into spontaneous singing and choreography with no discernable music source. I don't think anyone wanted that."

Anyways, I am pleased to announce that a special guest will be joining us today. Introducing the self-proclaimed greatest fan ever of Phineas and Ferb, please put your hands together for the one and only Irving!

Irving walked in and waved at the cheering audience. "Hey guys," he said, "what's up, everybody?"

"Welcome!" The writer greeted, gesturing for him to sit. "We're ready to start, so let's get this show on the road. Irving, my man, are you ready to quote?"

"Yes. Yes I am."

Alright, then let us begin! As always, you'll note that anything in bold is a direct quote from the show. As the adult, I decree that we are going to the park. Does anyone need to go potty first? Fine, make it quick.

"Hey look, it's that idiot from the video again!"

"Let's use mockery to keep him inside!"

"And that part where that guy roller-skated into a toilet!"

"Yeah, that was kind of the only part; but yeah, I was dying!"

"Oh, look how big the sun is through this magnifying glass! Ow! No, really, it's huge; you should see it!"

"Well, whaddaya know, it's a uniwhalescorpiopegasquidacorn girl. What are the odds. You know, taken all together, it's more ridiculous than scary. I guess it doesn't have a cumulative effect."

"You know, the same could be said about this fanfic," Irving commented.

"Yeah, I've noticed," the writer replied. "So, Irving, thanks for joining us today. I gotta say, it's a real honor."

"Always a pleasure, zapdos." Irving said. "You don't mind if I call you that, do you? It just seemed awkward including the article when addressing you."

"Not at all. Now I imagine you know a lot of good quotes from the show, don't you?"

"Psh. Pl-ease. I spend my days with Phineas and Ferb writing down every memorable quote that escapes their mouths, and I spend my nights memorizing them like a vocabulary student memorizes a dictionary."

"Wow. You take quotes from the show very seriously. Well, since I'm getting tired of having to come up with them all, why don't you take us through our next lineup?"

"Certainly," Irving said. "If you even think about trying something funny today, you're gonna get it!"

"Well, if 'it' is another sandwich, I'll take one now."

"Hey, that nice duck just gave me twenty bucks for my skateboard!"

"Corndog, corndog, yummy yummy yummy!"

"Turn right to avoid plunging 5000 feet into cactus gorge."

"I'll be honest, Ferb, I'm having a hard time putting a positive spin on this, blah blah two-car garage, et cetera et cetera."

"And ventricles!"

"Wow," the writer said, "I'm impressed. You are a natural at this."

"Well, it's only my life," Irving responded.

"Well, since you are so good at this, I have an idea to make this game more interesting."

"How so?"

"For the next set of quotes, I challenge you to tell us who said each quote, and from what episode it's from. Can you do that?"

Irving sat with his hand on his chin in thought. "Hold on. You're the writer, zapdos, so how would that even be a challenge? If you're asking me where the quote is from, you'd have to already know the correct answer; it kind of renders the whole thing redundant, doesn't it?"

"Do I have to remove your tongue again, Torbo?"

"No! I'm good."

The writer grinned. "You know I'm messing with you. Well, if it seems like it will be that easy, then you shouldn't have any problems. Okay!" The writer snapped his finger.

"Captain Bob Weber, The Lake Nose Monster." Irving declared.

"Oh, that wasn't actually one of the questions, it's just something we do around here. Here's the real first one; roll the clip."

"What's your New Year's resolution?"

"To update my mustache."

"That's what you think! Hahahahaha!"

"I don't know, it seemed achievable."

"Oh, that one's easy," Irving said. "Dr. Doofenshmirtz talking to the mustache guy at the New Year's party, from the episode Happy New Year."

"That's correct," the writer informed him.

"Yes!" Irving said, pumping his fist.

"Next quote. How did a rollercoaster turn into broccoli? And why broccoli? How does that make any sense?"

Irving chuckled as he remembered the line. "That would be Candace, when she's a Fireside Girl in Fireside Girl Jamboree."

"Excellent. That's two for two."

"This isn't even hard. I could do this all day."

"Alright, then let's move on to some of the more difficult ones. Here goes. You're disassembling my Freezinator Ray while I'm singing about my feelings?"

Irving thought for a moment. "Well, the inator is a dead giveaway that Doofenshmirtz said it, I believe to Peter the Panda in It's About Time!"

"Right again!"

Irving folded his arms smugly. "What can I say? I am the master of Phineas and Ferb quotes. They call me, 'The Truth Detector'. Well, not really, they call my brother Albert that, but it seemed appropriate to say in the context."

"Well, don't go anywhere folks," the writer said as he turned to the audience. "We just have to take a quick break so we can get in a word from our sponsors."

"Available only at Devor's, it's the Tri-State Area flip-flop store."

"We now preempt this preemption to bring you yet another preemption."

"Because Doof spelled backwards is food."

"And welcome back!" the writer continued. "I am joined with Irving, who has been showcasing his quoting skill all day." Irving waved for the cameras as his name was mentioned. "Now, we were just in the middle of a quoting game, and so far Irving has gotten everything right. Are you ready to continue? Or do you maybe want to quit while you're ahead?"

The audience all shouted to indicate they wanted Irving to continue. After watching their response, he said, "I'd be happy to keep going, but first, I just gotta ask you something. You're going to be publishing this on FanFiction dot Net aren't you? How do you get away with that, considering this isn't even a real story? Doesn't that break some sort of rule?"

The audience got really silent as they waited for what the writer would say. "Um, to be honest, I don't know. We don't do it to compete, we do it for fun! Besides, not that many people are reading this fanfic anyways, and while it's legitimacy as a story is questionable, nobody in charge has said anything about removing it, so I think I'm safe."

Irving didn't look completely satisfied by that answer, but said anyway, "All righty then."

Not wanting to let the story get out of hand, the writer said, "Let's get back to the action. The next couple of quotes are going to be very difficult." He cleared his throat. "Wakey, wakey, Agent P. No, not on the computer screen, all though that would have made infinitely more sense…"

"Hmm," Irving thought, "That's definitely the voice of Major Monogram, but without more context, it's tough to remember which episode, but I am pretty sure it's from the episode Nerds of a Feather."

"Oh, I'm sorry, but while it was a quote from the Major, that episode is incorrect."

"Shoot!" Irving blinked in frustration. "What is it, then?"

"It comes from the episode Bully Bust. You know, the one where Phineas and Ferb make a tooth-themed rollercoaster?"

"I know the episode." Irving growled. "Give me another one, quick; I have to redeem myself."

"Sure. How about this. And now, Perry the Platypus, I will smite your face with ice cream!"

"Another Doof quote," Irving began, "from the episode when Buford made his first appearance, Raging Bully."

"Wow, that one didn't even faze you," the writer noted.

Irving nodded. "I happen to use that one all the time when I go on first dates."

There was a pause while the audience digested what Irving had just said. "That's—interesting," the writer said to combat the awkward silence. Clearing his throat, he moved on to the next quote. "'Ello, gov'nor, top'o the mornin', toodle pip. Last night, Mr. Governor, my toilet was broken into."

"That would be Buford's replacement nerd in Hip Hip Parade." Irving quickly answered.

"Most impressive, but you are not a jedi yet."

"I thought we were only quoting Phineas and Ferb here?"

"Sorry, got off track. All right, this will be the last one, and it will be the toughest of all. Ready?"

"I'm ready," Irving said.

"Krill."

Irving looked stupefied. "That's it?"

"That's it," the writer said. "Name that quote."

Irving grunted. "I have no idea! Are you sure that's a real quote? Cause if it is, it isn't a funny one! I thought the purpose of this fic was to be funny?"

"It is; you look stupid. It works on so many levels."

"Okay, I know that one! No fair!"

"Do you give up?" The writer asked.

"Yeah," Irving said dejectedly.

"It is a quote from Monogram in Perry Lays an Egg. Monogram explains that Doof's scheme involved whale research and krill. Upon questioning whether krill was a real word, Carl confirmed it, and Monogram closes his briefing with, Krill."

"Oh my gosh! You're right! Judges, he's right! He's changed my entire world view!"

Well, since things are going so well, I think it's time to fulfill my promise that I'd reply to any reviews with quotes.

"Wait, let me get this straight," Irving interrupted. "You're going to reply to your reviews in your actual story and not in the author's note?"

"That's the plan."

"Has that even been done before?"

"Who knows? I don't think it really matters, because people are waiting."

chronofall: Oh, we've got plenty, if you're up for it. How many quotes can I string together from the same person? Make that person Ferb? Let's find out.

You know, gladiators were Roman, not Greek.

That man isn't wearing any clothes.

Well, he did pee on the couch.

Yep, it had to be done.

I guess there's no glory in thighs.

I swear, I'll never understand fashion.

That's strange, I was convinced he was an anthropomorphic platypus, what with the beaver tail and all.

Personally, I'm looking forward to cheese that comes in aerosol cans.

It's a unique and logic defying amalgam of winter and summer.

When we get our own place, it will be like this everyday.

I hope they can handle a party of that magnitude.

I'm filled with remorse that we haven't of course even thought of building an obstacle course.

Well, it occurs to me that not all the modifications I made are technically 'street legal'.

Welcome to Ferbland. Yes, but the universe is constantly expanding. And what is it expanding into? Oooooh! Okay, now my mind is blown.

Well, at least we know she mellows with age.

So there you go. Fifteen quotes in a row.

Guest: Yeah, man, it's all about my blog. I blog about blogs that blog about other blogs.

TruePandFfan: More ATSD quotes, huh? I don't know, I am a woman of science! At least, that's what my horoscope said. Which is weird, because I'm a boy… Look, I would make myself do it, but apparently he's an idiot! Anyway, I did try to include some in this chap, I'm sure you noticed. Wow, saved by unconventional architecture.

"Well, seems we're almost out of time. Before going, is there anything else you'd like to say to the world, Irving? Any shoutouts you want to make?"

"Well, I have always wanted to do this. Pierre! Did anyone look? I bet you like half the people down there are looking around like, who's calling my name?"

"Mm, yeah! That's the perfect clincher! Thank you, Irving, and thank you, readers, for joining us! Don't forget to quote Phineas and Ferb everyday! And the offer is still on the table, to anyone willing to send in a review I will respond with a quote or two in my next chap. Bye for now!"