Please don't cry, you liar
-
Liar - Mumford & Sons -

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On Saturday morning Blaine wakes up to the sound of Sam's alarm clock. It throws him of for a minute, before he realizes he slept in Sam's bed that night.

"Do you need me to drop you off?" he asks hoarsely, before turning around to face Sam.

He sees Sam lying all the way on the other end of the bed, facing him and watching him sheepishly.

"That would be nice," he says and so Blaine gets up and heads to the shower.

It's a reason to get out of bed, like his students are a reason to get out of bed on weekdays.

Only on Sundays it was hard to find a reason, usually it would be Sam knocking on his door and moping about wanting eggs for breakfast, but that's not every week.

The water runs hot over Blaine's body and he just lets it burn, not bothering to turn the temperature down. He's in the shower for about two minutes when he hears the door and Sam walks in.

"Just brushing my teeth," Sam says and doesn't comment on the fact that the bathroom is already completely fogged after two minutes.

Blaine lets the water wash away his worries and for a moment he thinks about how it would be nice if his entire life would just consist of sleeping and hot showers. Only dreamless sleep like this night, not the nightmares he occasionally has. Or the romantic dreams in which he and Kurt are together again. Not those, only the dreamless nights and the hot showers.

That would be a nice life. A pointless life, but his life is pretty much pointless anyway.

"Dude," Blaine is woken up out of his thoughts, "am I going to have to work all stinky today or are you saving some water for me?"

Right, it's Saturday, Sam has to work way too early and for some crazy reason Blaine always brings him there. It's Saturday today and they are kind of in a hurry, so Blaine steps out of the shower letting the water run for Sam.

Sam closes his eyes.

"DUDE." He practically screams.

Blaine scoffs.

"You spend too much time with Finn, stop calling me 'dude'."

He doesn't want to be so snappy or sound so sarcastic and annoyed, but it's only 7.30am and his headache already starts to come up and he has just left the hot water that felt so freaking nice on his skin.

"You're naked."

"You're pointing out the obvious."

Because, really, they've been living in the same apartment for three years now and they have slept in the same bed more than once so Blaine doesn't really get why they are so shy with seeing each other naked.

Or why Sam is that shy anyway, Blaine walks around naked more often. He simply doesn't care. Like he doesn't care about the rest of anything actually.

"I told you I don't feel comfortable with seeing that."

Blaine scoffs again.

"I don't see the problem. I'm your best friend, I'm a guy and you're a guy, it's not like I have something you don't."

"You're gay."

Blaine's eyes grow wide and what he feels is close to amusement.

"You're bi, Sam, how could me being gay be an argument for you?"

"Exactly," Sam says, "you're gay, I'm bi, you're attractive and I don't want to see you naked because you're my flat mate and my best friend and my brother's ex."

Blaine almost smiles.

"Sam Evans," he teases, "do you have a thing for me?"

"No," Sam says firmly, "and I don't want start having a thing for you, so don't walk around all naked and hot."

Blaine shrugs and wraps a towel around his waist as Sam pulls of his shirt.

"You're one to talk," he says as he watches Sam pull of his shirt, "walking around with abs like that."

Sam grins.

"Good genes, used to piss Kurt off."

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Blaine had been so freaking close to forgetting about the fact Kurt was coming to town and then Sam said that. So there is no more teasing the rest of the morning, no more talking at all.

As Sam came out of the shower Blaine had already cooked breakfast, they ate it and now they are in the car.

Blaine wonders why the heck he drives Sam to work in the first place, how they ever came to this arrangement but a vague thing in his mind says Sam insisted those years ago so he knew for sure Blaine would get out of bed and out of the house on Saturday, and now it is a thing they do.

When they reach the shop and Blaine parks the car, Sam takes a deep breath.

"I think it's best if you don't come in for coffee this morning," he says.

"Sam, if it's about this morning I promise not to walk around naked anymore."

Sam shakes his head.

"It's not that"

"Then I don't see why I shouldn't come in for coffee."

He is about to open his car door when he sees it.

Or when he sees him. Kurt. With Burt's arm around him, looking quite happy really. Finn is walking a feet in front of them, facing them and stepping backwards. His gestures are wild as he talks and Kurt laughs out loud.

Sam puts his hand on Blaine's knee.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"It's okay," Blaine replies, "just go have coffee with your family."

Sam nods.

"I hate that he doesn't want to see you," Sam says, "you're my family and now you don't get to have coffee with me because of him."

"I'll cook tonight," Blaine offers.

"I'm actually having dinner with Burt and Carole."

Blaine nods now.

"Call me when I need to pick you up," he says.

"I will," Sam says and kisses Blaine's cheek as if it's a daily routine.

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Blaine doesn't do much the rest of the day.

He saw Kurt.

Kurt looked happy.

Happy.

It freaked Blaine out, because there was always this tiny little spark of hope that maybe Kurt was just as miserable as him and maybe, just very maybe there would be a chance of healing when he saw Kurt again.

Because he knows that by now. Only Kurt can heal him.

He knows it's crazy, he knows he's crazy for thinking this way, it's been ten years after all.

Ten years in which he hasn't seen Kurt, ten years in which he hasn't heard from Kurt. The great, fantabulous Kurt Hummel who left this dogs town to pursue his dreams on Broadway. And he, Blaine Anderson, the lover who stayed behind and was miserable.

And lived with Kurt's foster-brother.

And that when it hits Blaine, when he is standing in the middle of the living room and about to get out the vacuum cleaner, for the sake of having something to do, that Kurt has been avoiding him for ten fucking years.

Because Sam has seen Kurt in New York and so has Finn and Blaine knows for a fact how important family to Kurt is. Of course he has been back in Lima, of course he has been here before, only nobody ever told Blaine.

He only found out now because of his students and the posters and because Kurt is coming to the school.

Why would Kurt want to do that now? What would have happened that Kurt would finally show a tiny bit of himself to Blaine.

Even if he doesn't show a lot, even if it is just a poster and the knowledge that he is in Lima, Blaine was never allowed to know before.

Blaine takes out his phone, ready to call Sam, but he gets a text from him at that exact time.

I'm sorry, they are giving me hell for missing Friday night dinner yesterday. I'll ask Finn to drive me home.

Blaine takes a glance at the clock in the corner of his screen. It's already 10pm. He wonders for five seconds where the hell his day went, then realizes he's just spent most of it miserable on the couch because he saw Kurt being happy, but then he grabs his keys and doesn't even bother with his coat.

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He chickens out, though, when his car is parked in front of the Hummel-Hudson household. He had planned on barging in through the always open backdoor, straight into the kitchen where they would definitely still be sitting at the table and he would've given all of them a piece of his mind.

Who the fuck do they think they are, hiding Kurt from him like that for ten years.

Who the fuck does Burt think he is, the freaking perfect father always helping his son with everything?

Or who the fuck does Carole think she is? Kurt isn't even his real son and whenever Blaine is over with Sam on any time Kurt's not here she treats Blaine like a son too. So why hide Kurt from him?

And Finn, he can't even get started on Finn because Finn has been through this with Rachel. Finn knows how Blaine feels.

Or knew, 9 years ago.

But most of all Sam, he just wants to punch Sam in the face or something because Sam claims that Blaine is his best friend and yet he is keeping things like this from him.

Sam is the worst.

And yet it is Sam he texts now that he is freaking out over the idea that Kurt is mere feet away from him.

Seriously, there is only 60 feet or so between them and he is freaking out so he texts Sam.

And Sam is in the car, coat on and everything only a minute later.

"Are you okay?" he asks as he sees Blaine shaking.

"I think it's better if you let me drive," he says as he gets out of the car again and walks around to the driver's side. Inside the car Blaine climbs over to the passenger seat.

"Are you okay?" Sam asks again once they are on the road and headed home, "why did you come? I told you not to."

Blaine shrugs.

"I was mad at you." He says.

"Mad for asking Finn to drop me off?"

Blaine shakes his head.

"Mad for spending time with Kurt?"

"Yes and no," Blaine answers, "I'm not mad at you for spending time with Kurt, but I'm mad at you for lying to me about it."

Sam keeps his eyes firmly on the road, but he is obviously confused.

"You knew perfectly well where I was."

"You can't look me in the eye right now and tell me this is the first time in ten years Kurt is back in Lima."

For the briefest second Sam closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, before opening them again and focusing on the road.

"I never told you because I didn't want to upset you."

"DON'T LIE TO ME."

Blaine even scares himself a bit as he roars, but he is so sick and tired of the whole world lying and cheating and hating him and apparently taking pity on Kurt.

And now he's mad at everyone.

And at Kurt.

Because why is it that everybody pities Kurt, if it is Blaine who was hurt so bad, if it is Blaine who is still not over what happened and if it is Blaine who is the wronged party in all of this.

"Sorry," Sam mutters, "can we have this conversation when I'm not driving? I need to focus on that a hundred percent and I can't do that if I'm supposed to watch the road."

Blaine sees tears prickle in his eyes but he can't bring himself to feel guilty about upsetting Sam. Sam upset him and he deserved every single tear that will stream down his pretty little face tonight.

"I feel stupid," Blaine starts, "I feel stupid for not realizing this sooner, and I want to know how many times he has been here before and I want to know exactly why everybody is keeping him hidden from me, why no one will let me see him and why he feels that he has a right to hide from me when he is the one who ended it all. When he is the one who did this to me and I never did anything."

"Please," Sam begs, "not while I'm driving."

"Why did you even get out of there? Why did you come rushing to the car so quickly, huh? " Blaine wants to know, "why were you so eager on getting me as far away from there as possible?"

Sam stops at a red light and turns to look at Blaine.

"I didn't come out to get you away from there," he says, "I want you in there so much, Blaine, you are family to me. So when I got your text I was worried and I came out to see you."

Sam looks hopeless and hurt and pretty much how Blaine feels. Blaine wants to take his hand, but someone behind them honks and it is green so Sam returns the hand that had landed on Blaine's knee to the steering wheel.

"You're the only family I've got left," Blaine admits and maybe that is true. He might have lied about the best friends part, but Sam really is the only family he's got left.

"I wish you were a part of the entire family," Sam says and he has no idea how much Blaine wishes he was as well, at Kurt's side might that be.

He's not letting this go, however, so when they arrive home and Sam collapses on the couch, Blaine lifts Sam's legs and places himself beneath them.

He takes off Sam shoes and starts rubbing his feet.

"I'm not mad at you, Sam, I just want to know why you were doing what you were doing."

Sam's eyes stay closed and his face seems relaxed.

"Kurt doesn't want to see you," he says, "I have no idea why and I honestly think he is being a little bit childish, but it's the way he wants it and I've tried to argue but you know him."

"Not anymore." Blaine retorts.

"Yeah, well you used to and he's still as stubborn as he always was. He won't change his mind about this, it's a fact."

"Okay, if that's his wish then fine. Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"As I said," Sam whispers, "I didn't want to upset you."

"Don't…", Blaine starts but Sam interrupts him.

"It was easier. I see how miserable you are over him, Blaine, you don't think I do but I see you. I know you dream about him and I know that you are not over him and it hurts me to see you like that. I always thought that if you knew he was in town that you would get even worse and to be quite frank I was right. You should just see yourself the last three days, Blaine, ever since you figured out he was coming you've been freaking out. I know you're miserable and I know you're lonely, I know it hurts and that's why I didn't tell you."

"It hurts," Blaine says. Something he's never told anyone before.

"It literally hurts when I ,miss him. There are times when I think I can't feel anything anymore and when I think my life is worthless, but then there are times where I am hopeful and there are times when I make up plans to get him back and now that he is here it's all so real and there is that hope again and it hurts that he doesn't feel that way."

"I know," Sam says as he gets up and easily takes Blaine in his arms to comfort him.

"I know," he repeats.

"Why doesn't he want to see me?"

Sam stills.

"I don't know," Sam says and Blaine knows he's honest.

Sam keeps him tight in his arms for hours and Blaine doesn't move. All his muscles ache, but he doesn't move because where he is now feels sort of safe and a lot like home.

Even if Kurt is in town and doesn't want to see him and he looked happy while Blaine is miserable an lonely and tired of everything that defines his life.

He lets himself relish in the ache that comes of being held in Sam's arms.

And he relishes in the warmth that is Sam's body.

He relishes in the feeling of being home, even if it is for just a few hours.

It's well past midnight when Sam finally can't take it anymore and lifts Blaine to lay him in bed. Blaine whimpers at the loss of Sam's warmth, but after Sam undressed him to his boxers, he feels Sam's body slipping in the bed next to him, holding him tightly while being the bigger spoon.

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A/N: Kurt's back.

Next up: the confrontation.
This is not going to be a long story, 10 chapters tops, but I think it'll be 8