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Chapter 3: The Great Pit of Carkoon
(A large herd of Banthas move across the sandy plains of the Dune Sea. A short distance away, a huge brown sail barge with dark red sails flies over the large dunes. Two small skiff transports fly along the sides of the sail barge. Inside the hold of the barge, Huggins sits on a throne in the center of the room where all his accomplices party with music playing. Lynn Fett is among them. Lisa moves around the room with a tray connected to her neck with several drinks sitting on it. She keeps a calm and casual expression as she approaches the partiers and gives them drinks.)
(Huggins holds on to the chain that connects him to Lori. Lori herself stands an open window. He tugs on the chain which causes Lori to look at him with irritation. She then looked out the window again at the skiff flying alongside the sail barge. On it were several guards, Clyde in his disguise, and Lincoln, Bobby and Ronnie Anne in shackles. They just stare at the dunes in front of them as they travel.)
Bobby: I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur.
Lincoln: There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know.
Bobby: (smirks) You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient.
Lincoln: Just stick close to Ronnie Anne and Clyde. I'll take care of everything.
Bobby: Oh... great!
(In the hold area, Huggins pulls on Lori's chain and she is forced away from the window and back to his side.)
Huggins: (grins) Soon, you will learn to appreciate me.
Lori: (scoffs) I'd literally rather watch The Phantom Menace fifty times over.
Huggins: Oh, that can be arranged. The Phantom Menace is my favorite movie. That Jar Jar guy, he's one of the good ones.
Lori: (laughs) …You're serious?
(Leni nervously wanders around the partiers and bumps into Lisa, causing the drinks on her tray to drop.)
Leni: Oh, I'm terribly sor... Lisa! What are you doing here?
Lisa: I'm merely performing my assignment. Serving refreshments to these heathens.
Leni: I can see that, but this place is dangerous! They're going to execute Master Lincoln and, if we're not careful, us too!
Lisa: (smiles) That won't happen. Lincoln's plan is about to be carried out. We shall be extracted from this scumbag hive before you know it.
Leni: Oh, I wish I had your confidence.
(The sail barge then starts to slow down. Lisa suddenly gets serious.)
Lisa: Excuse me, we've reached our destination. I'm going to be needed on the top deck.
(She quickly leaves the room and Leni is grabbed by a guard and dragged back to Huggins. He gives her a microphone. The sail barge comes to a complete stop and the skiffs stop as well. The vehicles hover over a massive sand pit. Everyone looks down in the pit and sees a deep hole surrounded by numerous teeth-like spikes sticking out.)
Ronnie Anne: So, what is this thing?
Lincoln: The Sarlacc. A huge, terrible beast that dwells underneath the sand. Huggins intends to make us its lunch.
(From the center of the hole, the Sarlacc emerges its head with numerous tentacles around it. It has the head of Lily with slimy, tan skin and large teeth. It looks up at its visitors and smiles, licking its lips.)
Sarlacc: Poo Poo!
Ronnie Anne: Wow. If wasn't so vicious looking, I'd actually call it cute.
(The passengers of the sail barge look out the windows at the skiff with the prisoners. Lincoln, Bobby and Ronnie Anne are lined up at a plank hanging on the side. Huggins holds Lori close to him and pushes Leni up to the window. Leni hesitantly looks down at the skiff and speaks through the microphone. Her voice is heard on the barge's loudspeakers.)
Leni: Victims of the almighty Sarlacc, His Excellency hopes that you will die honorably. But should any of you wish to beg for mercy, the great Huggins the Hutt will now listen to your pleas.
(Ronnie Anne gets down on her knees and puts her hands together.)
Ronnie Anne: (mockingly pleading) Oh, please don't kill us! We won't do it again, honest! We'll be good, mister! We was just fooling around, is all! (stands up and laughs) Just kidding! Like we'd beg for mercy from an overweight maggot like him!
Bobby: (irritated) Leni, you tell that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth he'll get no such pleasure from us. Right?
Lincoln: Huggins! This is your last chance. Free us or die.
(Huggins and his goons just laughed again.)
Huggins: No thanks, Loudwalker. I think I'll just ignore the empty threats from a defenseless Jedi such as yourself! Now, since I'm in a good mood, why don't we have you go first? Move him into position!
(A guard holds his spear up to Lincoln and urges him to the edge of the plank. Lincoln looks down at the pit then turns to Clyde standing behind Bobby and Ronnie Anne. He gives him a silent nod and Clyde nods back. Lori and Leni look at the skiff worriedly, hoping Lincoln will take action on his plan. Bobby and Ronnie Anne stand behind him waiting to see what he does. Lincoln looks up at the top deck of the barge and sees Lisa up there looking down at him. He smiles and gives her a small salute. Lisa smiles back and a small compartment opens on the back of her head. Inside, Huggins gives the kill order.)
Huggins: Put him in!
(The guard behind Lincoln prepares to hit him with his spear and send him falling into the pit. Huggins's spectators start cheering. Suddenly, Lincoln jumps off the plank, spins around and grabs the plank's end. He launches himself up as Lisa shoots something out of her compartment. A small silver handle flies up in the air as Lincoln somersaults in midair and lands on his feet at the back of the skiff. He holds his hand up to the handle and pulls it down to him through the Force. He grabs it and flicks a switch on it. A long, green glowing blade comes out of the end. He holds his lightsaber in a fighting position and grins at the guards.)
Lincoln: So, are we gonna stand here all day, or are we gonna fight?
(The guard attacks him with his spear but Lincoln swings at him and sends him overboard into the pit where he is devoured. The other guards come at him as well but get cut down by his lightsaber. The Sarlacc continues to consume the goons that Lincoln sends down in it. Ronnie Anne pulls Bobby back away from the fight as Clyde starts fighting another guard. On the sail barge, Huggins watches and explodes with rage. The other passengers start panicking.)
Huggins: WHAT!? HOW!?
Lori: He warned you to not literally underestimate a Jedi!
Huggins: Shut up! Get over there, you fools! Kill him!
(Lincoln knocks another guard off the skiff and then cuts off Bobby and Ronnie Anne's shackles. Clyde continues struggling with the guard. Up on the deck, another guard mans a mounted gun and fires down at the skiff. The blast hits the center of the skiff, causing Clyde and the guard to be tossed over the edge. The guard falls in the pit while Clyde grabs a rope and hangs over the pit.)
Clyde: Whoa! Whoa! Help!
(Lynn Fett appears on the upper deck and loads her assault rifle. She ignited her jetpack and jumps off the deck, flying down to the skiff. She lands on the small vehicle and points her rifle at Lincoln, who quickly cuts it in half. The skiff takes another hit from the gunner on the deck. Bobby and Ronnie Anne are thrown against the rail. Lincoln is knocked to the floor.)
Bobby: Ronnie, you okay? Where is he?
(As Lincoln gets back up, Lynn points her arm at him and shoots a cable out of her sleeve. It wraps around Lincoln's body and pins his arms to his sides. Lincoln struggles to move his hand holding his saber but manages to cut through the wire. He pulls the wire down and drags Lynn to the ground. Clyde continues to hang on the rope for dear life.)
Clyde: (terrified) Bobby! Ronnie!
Bobby: Clyde!
(The other skiff pulls up near the first one and the guards on it open fire at Lincoln. The young Jedi jumps over to the other skiff and begins hacking away at all on it. Bobby picks up a spear left by a guard and looks around for Clyde as Lynn gets up and aims her other arm at Lincoln. She lines him up with the small rocket on her wrist and prepares to fire. Ronnie Anne, while trying to help Bobby, sees her.)
Ronnie Anne: Bobby, look out! It's Lynn Fett!
Bobby: Lynn Fett!? Where!?
(He turns around blindly with the spear and accidentally hits Lynn's jetpack which ignites it and causes her to blast off. She screams as she flies past the skiffs and hits the side of the barge. Then her jetpack stops and she falls on the sandy ground and rolls down into the pit.)
Lynn: Is this really all they could do with meeeeeeeee!?
(She rolls directly onto the Sarlacc's mouth and is devoured. On the skiff, Bobby waves the spear around ready to fight Lynn while Ronnie Anne is just surprised at how easily she was defeated.)
Bobby: Where is she!?
Ronnie Anne: Uh… she fell.
Bobby: (confused) What?
Ronnie Anne: She fell in the pit. You accidentally hit her jetpack which sent her flying and she landed in the pit and was eaten.
Bobby: Really? Wow, that's actually really disappointing.
Ronnie Anne: Yeah, it was a very controversial scene. This installment isn't as good as the first two.
(Back in the sail barge, Huggins continues to go ballistic over all the chaos ensuing. The party guests keep rummaging around.)
Huggins: Kill them! Kill them all!
(With no one stopping her, Lori gets behind Huggins on his throne and throws the chain over his and around his neck.)
Lori: How do you like this, pervert!?
(She violently pulls the chain and starts choking the giant slug. He tries to yell at her but can only let large gags out of his mouth. Lincoln continues to wipe out his enemies on the other skiff. Bobby and Ronnie Anne find Clyde hanging from the rope and Bobby lowers the spear down to him.)
Bobby: Clyde, grab it!
Clyde: Lower it!
Bobby: I'm trying!
(Lori pulls on the chain harder and Huggins struggles to breathe more. His eyes widen as he loses breath and his tail spasms. Then with a final croak, the crime lord breathes his last and makes a dead face with his tongue sticking out. Lori then tries to get free of her bondage.)
Lori: (sighs) That felt good.
(The skiff is hit by the gunner on the deck again and Bobby almost falls out. The rope Clyde is holding breaks and he falls on the side of the pit. Bobby's feet get entangled in the ropes on the skiff's railing and he dangles above Clyde.)
Bobby: Whoa! Whoa! Grab me, Ronnie! I'm slipping!
(Ronnie Anne desperately grabs Bobby's feet and holds him upside down. Bobby tries to lower the spear to Clyde who clutches to the side of the pit.)
Bobby: Grab it, Clyde!
(As Lincoln finishes off the last guard on the second skiff, he sees the deck gunner shooting at his companions. He leaps from the skiff and grabs onto the side of the sail barge. A window opens up next to him and a guard looks and sees him. Lincoln quickly grabs the guard and pulls him out, sending him into the Sarlacc's mouth as well. Lincoln climbs onto the top deck and pulls out his lightsaber again. He delivers a blow at the gunner and gets him off the gun. More guards approach him and he engages them in combat. Bobby keeps reaches down to Clyde.)
Bobby: Grab it! You almost got it!
(Suddenly, a tentacle wraps tightly around Clyde's ankle and threatens to drag him down more. Clyde screams like a little girl.)
Bobby: Ronnie, give me the gun!
(Ronnie Anne hands Bobby a small blaster pistol. He carefully aims it downward.)
Bobby: Don't move, Clyde!
Clyde: No, wait! I thought you were blind!
Bobby: It's all right! I can see a lot better now! Just don't move!
(He shoots the blaster and hits the sand near Clyde.)
Clyde: Ahhh! Higher! A little higher!
(Bobby adjusts his aim and shoots again. He gets a direct hit on the tentacle. It immediately releases Clyde.)
Bobby: Ronnie, pull us up!
(Ronnie Anne pulls on Bobby's legs with all her might and gets him back on the skiff. Bobby pulls Clyde up with the spear. On the top deck, Lincoln continues to cut down anyone who dares to challenge him. Down below, Lisa approaches Lori and extends a small spinning saw. She cuts through the chain connecting Lori to Huggins's now rotting corpse.)
Lori: Come on. We gotta get out of here.
Lisa: You want some laser hair removal while I'm at it?
Lori: No, thanks. Just get Leni and get off this thing.
(Lori runs for the top deck as Lisa finds Leni kicking and screaming as Huggins's reptilian monkey pet picks out her mechanical eyes.)
Leni: Ohhh! Not my eyes, you beast! This is so mean! Lisa, help!
(Lisa sticks out an electric rod and zaps the creature, sending him off Leni and up to the ceiling. Lisa helps Leni up and takes her up to the deck. Lincoln fights off some more guards when he spots Lori by the big gun at the back of the sail barge.)
Lincoln: (to Lori) Get on the gun! Point it at the deck!
(Lori gets in the gunner's seat and swivels the big turret around and points it downward. Another guard emerges and shoots a laser blast that hits Lincoln's mechanical hand. He shouts in pain for a moment and then takes out the guard. He checks his hand to make sure it still works and then heads over to Lori. On the other side of the deck, Leni wanders over to the edge with Lisa behind her.)
Leni: Lisa, where are we going?
Lisa: Abandon ship!
(She bumps into Leni from behind and sends her falling off the side. Then she steps off herself.)
(Lincoln runs over to the gun and grabs a hanging rope from the mast.)
Lincoln: Come on!
(Lori wraps her arms around him and he kicks the big gun which fires into the deck and hits the engines of the sail barge. Lincoln swings the two of them off the barge and onto the skiff with their friends.)
Lincoln: Let's go! And don't forget the droids.
Clyde: We're on our way!
(The barge's engines burst into flames. Clyde drives the skiff over to where Leni and Lisa landed. Bobby, now being able to see better, gets a good look at Lori's slave outfit.)
Bobby: (mesmerized) Lori… you… wow…
(Lori rolls her eyes and slaps him out of his trance.)
Lori: Yeah, yeah. Let's just go so I can get out of this inappropriate piece.
(Leni's legs stick up straight from the sand. Lisa's periscope sticks out next to her. The skiff floats above them and lowers two electromagnets down to pull them up. When they're on board, the skiff flies away from the sail barge as it erupts in a chain of explosions. The group rides off into the desert leaving the pit of Carkoon and the ruins of Huggins's criminal organization behind them.)
