Chapter 4

Jack stood at the kitchen window in the early morning light, sipping a cup of coffee, as he looked out at the backyard. He watched the birds as they ran from one side of the yard to the other, trying to find something to eat in the snow.

Wrapping his fingers around the warm cup, he sighed deeply. He knew this situation with Kerry had upset Sam greatly, but he also knew that she would put aside her feelings and do what was best for Emily. Sam's kindness was one of the things he had loved about her since they had first met. He had witnessed the love and attention that Sam had shown Cassie when they had brought her to Earth and watching her then, he knew that someday she would be a great mother to her own children. He looked down at the coffee as he shook his head, wondering how he had gotten so lucky to have Samantha Carter fall in love with him, marry him and want to have his child.

As he turned around and leaned against the counter, he looked up to see Sam standing in the doorway, barefoot and in her bathrobe, watching him.

They stared at each other for a few moments until Sam came toward him. He set down the cup and held out his hand. Sam walked to him, put her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest.

He hugged her, kissed the top of her head and whispered "I love you, Samantha."

Tears moistened Sam's eyes as she looked into Jack's face. "I love you too."

He held her tighter as she put her head back on his chest.

"Are we okay, Sam?"

Sam closed her eyes and nodded her head as she tried not to cry.

~oOo~

Sam sat at the breakfast table, eating a piece of toast, while looking outside as the bright sunshine glistened on the snow.

Today was Saturday so she was glad she didn't have to go to work. After finding out that Jack had another child, she knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate on teaching today.

Jack had left the house to tell Kerry that they would take Emily. He had asked her to come with him but she couldn't face Kerry just yet. She felt sorry for Kerry but seeing her, Jack and Emily together would be too much.

Although she knew that Jack loved her, she couldn't help feeling jealous.

She stood up and went into the living room and stared at the Christmas tree. She had just put all the lights on it when Kerry had first called but now she wasn't in the mood to finish the decorations.

Wandering into the bedroom, she sat down on the side of the bed and began to cry. Just as she was trying to compose herself, the doorbell rang.

Going to the door and opening it, she tried to smile at her friend.

"Hi, Daniel."

Daniel stared at her. "You've been crying. Are you okay?"

Sam motioned for Daniel to come in and she closed the door.

"What brings you by?"

"I brought the book you asked me about that you wanted to read" he answered as he handed it to her and took off his coat.

"Oh, I forgot about that. Thanks."

Daniel threw his jacket on a chair and they sat down on the sofa as Sam laid the book on the coffee table.

"What's going on?"

Sam took a deep breath. "Jack and I . . . well . . . we got some news yesterday."

"I'm assuming it was bad news."

"Jack got a call from Kerry Johnson night before last."

"That's a surprise. What did she want?"

"She has a baby, Daniel. Jack's baby."

Daniel stared at her. "What?"

"As you know, I was engaged to Pete when Jack was seeing Kerry."

"Yes, I knew that but Kerry ended it when she figured out that Jack was in love with you. Why is she just now telling you and Jack about a baby?"

"She has leukemia and doesn't have long to live."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"The baby's name is Emily and she's three months old. Kerry wants Jack to take her."

"So, she wasn't going to tell Jack about the baby if she had not gotten sick?"

Sam shook her head. "No."

"What does Jack think about all this?"

"He's just as shocked as I am."

"Do you want to take the baby?"

"We really have no choice. You know how much Jack loves kids and he isn't about to turn his back on his own child and I don't want him to. We just wish Kerry had told us she was pregnant when she first found out."

"Where is Jack?"

"He went to tell Kerry that we'll take Emily."

"Did he want you to go with him?"

Tears filled Sam's eyes. "Yes, but I just can't face Kerry yet. This is such a shock and . . ."

"You wanted to be the one to have a child with Jack."

Sam wiped her eyes and nodded her head.

"You still can, Sam. I know how much you and Jack love each other so don't give up."

"I won't. I'm trying to be reasonable about this but it's hard."

"I'm sure it is. Taking another woman's baby into your life will be a big adjustment, even if Jack is her father."

They heard the door open and looked up to see Jack come inside but he didn't take off his coat.

"Daniel, how are you?"

"I'm good."

"I guess Sam told you about Kerry and Emily."

"Yes, she did."

Sam stood up. "How did it go?"

"It went okay. Kerry's relieved that Emily will be taken care of if she doesn't live. I just came by to tell you that I need to get to the Mountain to see if I can get in touch with Thor or the Tok'ra. I'll see you later."

Sam quickly walked to Jack, gave him a hug and he kissed her on the cheek.

As Sam and Daniel watched Jack go out the door, Daniel frowned. "Why is Jack trying to get in touch with them?"

"To see if they can heal Kerry."

"Oh, well that makes sense."

"Want to stay for lunch? I'd like your company."

Daniel grinned. "Sure."

~oOo~

Jack arrived at the base and hurried inside. After talking with Reynolds to get an update on what had been happening there, he called Walter into his office. He sat down at his desk as Walter came through the door.

"Sir?"

"I need to find Thor or the Tok'ra. Do we know the last planet the Tok'ra was on?"

"I don't remember, sir. It's been quite a while since we've heard from them."

"It's urgent that I speak with one or both of them."

"Yes sir. I'll see what I can do."

Walter hurried away as Jack stared at the stack of work on his desk that needed his attention.

An hour later, Jack called Sam to tell her that he might be a little late getting home because of all the paperwork he needed to finish and he had a meeting with the team leaders that he thought would take some time.

After Jack called, Sam sat in a chair with a blanket over her legs, trying to concentrate on the book that Daniel had brought her, when the doorbell rang.

Throwing back the blanket, she quickly put her feet in her shoes and stood up. "Who can that be?"

Opening the door, she came to an abrupt halt when she saw who was there.

"Kerry."

"Hi, Sam. Could I talk with you for a few minutes please?"

"Uh . . . okay."

As Kerry came into the house, Sam remembered that the last time she had seen Kerry, she had long hair but it was now cut short.

"Could I take your coat?" Sam asked as she closed the door.

When Kerry removed her coat, Sam noticed how thin she was.

As Sam hung up Kerry's coat, her mind drifted back to that terrible day when she came to pour out her heart to Jack about her feelings for him and to tell him about her ambivalence about her upcoming wedding to Pete. When Kerry came out of the house, her heart had fallen to her feet and she wished she could sink into the ground. She had been totally surprised to find Kerry there with Jack.

Kerry followed Sam into the living room and the women sat down.

"Who's keeping Emily?"

"She's with my parents."

Kerry clasped her hands in her lap and looked into Sam's eyes.

"After I saw Jack this morning, I wanted to see you."

"Does Jack know you were coming by?"

Kerry shook her head. "No. He had told me that after you were married that you had sold your house and moved into his so I knew where to find you. Before he left my house he said he had to get to his job at the base so I took a chance that he wouldn't be here. I wanted to speak with you in private."

"Okay."

"I want to thank you for your willingness to take Emily. I guess I should have probably told Jack when I first found out I was pregnant but after giving it a lot of thought, I just felt that it was best that Jack never find out and I didn't want you to hate me."

Sam started to say something but Kerry held up her hand. "Please . . . let me finish."

Kerry paused for a moment. "When I first started my assignment with the CIA, they gave me lots of files to read to bring me up-to-date on the Stargate program so I knew that you and Jack had worked together for a long time. When you came here to see Jack that day and I walked out of the house to find you standing there, I knew by the looks on your faces that I had interrupted a conversation that should have happened between you two long ago. After you got the phone call about your father, Jack and I sat down to eat. He could hardly look at me and I knew his mind was on you. He wanted to go back to the base so I didn't try to stop him. I knew then that what we had started between us was over, so the next day I went into Jack's office and broke it off with him and I encouraged him to do something about your relationship."

"You had started to love Jack."

Tears filled Kerry's eyes. "Yes, I was beginning to fall in love with him but I thought that you had probably loved each other for years. I knew he would never love me the way he loved you so it was best to end it. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do."

Kerry wiped her eyes. "Jack is a wonderful, intelligent, kind, funny and handsome man. Men like him don't come along very often so I hope you know how fortunate you are to have him."

Sam gently smiled. "Believe me, I do."

"He's going to be great with Emily. I can already tell."

"I'm sure he will. Jack loves kids."

"I didn't mean to upset you with all this but I have to do what's best for my baby."

"I understand."

"Most women wouldn't be as accepting of another woman's child."

"Kerry, I'm not this perfect person who always does the right thing, but there is a baby involved here and we need to do what's best for her. I get that. I really do."

"But you wish Jack had a child with you instead of me."

"Yes I do and I don't deny it."

"I would feel the same way. If our roles were reversed, I'm not so sure I'd be handling this as maturely as you are. I really hope you and Jack have a baby. Emily would probably like to have a little brother or sister."

"Do you have a picture of her?"

"Of course."

Kerry opened her purse and handed Sam a picture of Emily in a little white dress.

Sam took the picture and stared at Emily. "She looks like Jack."

"Yes, she does. Jack said she reminds him of Charlie."

Sam handed the picture back to Kerry.

"It's good that you told Jack about Emily. Whenever he talks about Charlie, which is rare, I can tell that there's still an emptiness inside him that hasn't gone away. Maybe having Emily will help fill that void."

"That would be good."

"I'm really very sorry this is happening to you."

"I've come to accept it, Sam. I don't like it, but I've accepted it."

"Let's not give up hope that something can be done for you."

"Thank you. I should be going."

The women stood up, Sam followed Kerry to the door and got her coat for her.

As Kerry slipped on her coat, she turned to Sam.

"Thank you for seeing me."

"You're welcome."

Tears filled Kerry's eyes. "Please take my daughter into your heart. She's going to need a mother's love."

Kerry began to cry as she opened the door and Sam watched as she got into her car and drove away.

Sam closed the door as tears started down her face.

TBC