Fiona Greene and 999,999 others are now friends with Conker The Squirrel.


Parvati Patil – Lord Voldemort: Hey Voldy! Congratulations on your new role as Snorlax in the new Pokémon Movie! All that weight you've gained must've really paid off, huh?

Hermione Granger and 583 others like this.

-Lord Voldemort: YOU BITCH! I'M NOT FAT!

-Pansy Parkinson: LMAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOO!

-Dean Komikku Thomas: GET HIS ASS, GIRL!


Harry Potter: So, what are you guys dressing up for on Halloween? I'm not sure what I should dress up as!

Romilda Vane and 180 others like this.

-Ginny Weasley: I'm gonna dress up as a fairy!

-Neville Plantboy Longbottom: I'm gonna dress up as pirate.

-Dean Komikku Thomas: I'll probably be a vampire. Not the stupid, lame Twilight vampires, the COOL ones.

-Kingsley Shacklebolt: I'll be...something...yeah...

-Lord Voldemort: You should go as a zombie, Harry. That way someone can mistake you as an actual zombie and shoot you in the head and you'll finally be dead.

-Carmen Oreo: Worst. Joke. Ever.

-Harry Potter: You're trying too hard, Voldemort.

-Cho Chang: I'm gonna step out of my comfort zone and be a...zombie stripper! I've never done that before, so this will be new for me.

-Luna Lovegood: No surprise there.

Cho Chang has now blocked Luna Lovegood.


Terry Boot: RIOT OVER AT LAVENDER'S HOUSE! NUMBER 10, SUNSET WAY, LITTLE WHINGING, SURREY!

Pansy Parkinson and 563,292 others like this.

-Vincent Crabbe: I got the chainsaws!

-Blaise Zabini: I got the explosives!

-Carmen Oreo: I got my video camera!

-Michael Corner: I got...um...my boombox?

-Lavender Brown: You morons will never get me. LAVENDER SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

-Severus Snape: Destroy? How? Destroy us with your gigantic boobies?

-Minerva McGonagall: ^LOL!

-Lord Voldemort: Grrr. I wish I could be there to witness this. I totally would've thrown eggs full of salmonella at her house!

-Lavender Brown: I have weapons. And good ones too. Go ahead and try to tear me down. But I will be rising from the ground...LIKE A SKYSCRAPER!

-Dennis Creevey: Quoting lyrics doesn't make you look cool.

Emily Crenshaw likes this.


Sirius Black: HOLY CRAP! SOMEONE JUST GOT KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT ON 64TH STREET!

Gregory Goyle likes this.

-Seamus Finnigan: Who?

-Hermione Granger: What?

-Pansy Parkinson: When?

-Millicent Bulstrode: Where?

-Justin Flinch-Fletchy: Why?

-Padma Patil: How?

-Charlie Weasley: What?

-Hermione Granger: I already said what.

-Sirius Black: Look on the freaking news you lazy bums.


Lavender Brown: Heh heh heh...I love how everyone thinks they're gonna own me in this battle, but wait until they see what I got in store for them!

-Dobby FreeElf: What are you gonna do? Scare everyone away by showing your face with no makeup on?

-Lavender Brown: Nope. Something much worse than that.

-Dobby FreeElf: I don't think anyone can possibly imagine anything worse than seeing you with no makeup on.

-Lavender Brown: You know what, just STFU and you can sit your ass ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FLOOR. I got this.

-Moaning Myrtle: The only thing you got is ugliness!

-Lavender Brown: YAWN! Come back tomorrow with a more original comeback, kthxbai.


Ron Weasley: Is in love with Hermione Granger.

Hannah Abbot and 788,299 others like this.

-Romilda Vane: Awww, how cute!

-Hermione Granger: ;D

-Ginny Weasley: You guys are so adorable together!

-Imogene Jenkins: uliga moleuneun mwongaleul malha yeola!

-Hermione Granger: Speak English bitch, or don't speak at all.

-Imogene Jenkins: YEOSMEOG-EO!

-Collin Campics Creevey: No...just...no.

-Imogene Jenkins: naege heos-solil haneungeoya?

-Luna Lovegood: Why the hell are you speaking in a different language when we OBVIOUSLY don't understand you at all?

-Collin Campics Creevey: Guys, let's not bother with this. This is just a waste of time and energy.

-Imogene Jenkins: naneun yeoleobun modu silh-eo.

-Hermione Granger: STFU!


Bloody Baron: Preparing a Halloween feast in advance for Lady Helena Ravenclaw...man, I hate doing this!

Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington likes this.

-Freaky Peeves: Don't worry, I'll help you prepare it! Well, as long as you pay me of course.

-Rowena Ravenclaw: I'll send out the invitations...when I'm not being lazy and actually get up from my bed for once.

-Salazar Slytherin: I'll help out by eating all the bananas in the kitchen!

-Helga Hufflepuff: ^How is that suppose to help anything?

-Salazar Slytherin: Uhh...because it...umm...OH CRAP! COMPUTER'S SCREWING UP! BYE!

-Godric Gryffindor: Um, if anyone needs ME, I'll be at the back lot of Warner Brothers Studios, playing Quidditch with Fat Friar.

-Hannah Abbot: Commenting on this for no reason. I am such a rebel!


Fred Weasley: Shoot, my toilet is clogged. Hmmm...if only there some infamous Freed House Elf in Britain that can actually do the job really well...

-Dobby FreeElf: Sigh...be there in 15 minutes...

-Alicia Spinnet: I am so sorry, Dobby.


Brittany Spears: Don't forget fans to come to my tour performance show in the Center for Demonic Rituals in Downtown London on October 29!

Penelope Clearwater and 3,843,292,103 others like this.

-Helen George: BRITTANY! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

-Roberto Lima: OMG! I AM SO GOING TO THE SHOW! I'M GONNA STEAL MY PARENTS MONEY AND SNEAK OFF TO WATCH IT! THAT'S SOME HUGE LOYALTY RIGHT THERE!

-Kris Krangel: Brittany, you are so hot. I have 573893440 posters of you in my room. YOU. ARE. GOD.

-Elijah Jones: I'd hate to know what you do with those posters.


Lord Voldemort: It's soooooo boring today...I don't know what to freaking do!

George Weasley likes this.

-Romilda Vane: You could try to work out. Your body is the size of a planet anyways.

-Lord Voldemort: Screw off. I'm not fat.

-Delilah Riddle: AHEM! Maybe you would like to put those dishes away like I TOLD you to yesterday, mister!

-Cormac McLaggen: ...Delilah? What? Is she your mom, Voldy?

-Lord Voldemort: DELILAH! I TOLD YOU TO STAY OFF OF FACEBOOK!

-Ron Weasley: OMG! DELILAH IS VOLDEMORT'S WIFE!

-Dean Komikku Thomas: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT?

-Albus Dumbledore: No. Freaking. Way.

-Hannah Abbot: This is unbelievable. I cannot even BEGIN to believe this.

-Millicent Bulstrode: IKR? Who in the universe would want to be me married to VOLDEMORT?

-Collin CamPics Creevey: Voldemort, you have some explaining to do. You never told me about this.

-Vincent Crabbe: You never told me either!

-Kreacher The Loyal: Same here, dude.

-Lord Voldemort: All of you just STFU. It's a VERY long story that I don't feel like explaining so everyone just back the hell off for a minute.

-Delilah Riddle: Tom, can you give me some Lemonade? My mouth is dry like a cactus on a summer day in a desert!

-Pansy Parkinson: What, you can't get it yourself?

-Lord Voldemort: I SAID BACK OFF, PANSY.

-Fred Weasley: Hey wait a second...your wife can't walk, can she? CAN SHE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! THAT IS HILARIOUS!

-George Weasley: Wow. I guess that explains everything then!

-Draco Malfoy: Oh please. I knew all about this for years.

-Romilda Vane: *rolls eyes at the comment above*

-Terry Boot: Screencapped.

-Parvati Patil: I'm shocked they haven't been divorced yet.

-Lord Voldemort: Grrrr...WHY ME?


Dean Komikku Thomas and 950,573 others are now friends with Selena Gomez.

~End Chapter~