A/N: Thank you for your reviews and I hope everyone had a good holiday.
Disclaimer: I don't own Silent Hill or Futurama (at least the Bender's line from that moon episode)
Rating: T for crude jokes and humor
Well, in our last chapter, things didn't turn out well for our-I don't know if I should call them heroes maybe Heather but Vincent I don't know about-ANYWAY! When taking Peter the baby pyramid head to Santa Claus at the mall, we learned that Peter came from one of the spear Pyramid Heads and not the large knife ones for Peter had impaled Santa Clause with a large plastic candy cane in front of scores of children that will no doubt put the child psychologist's own kids through college and have her retiring on the Florida beach depending on how many kids there were at that time.
And now we catch Vincent and Heather in the police station where they are in the holding cells and the rest of the gang are entering inside to bust them out.
Vincent: (looks around nervously) Why does Peter stay in the office with the policemen and we're stuck in here with these...unshady characters...?
Heather: Because a cell is no place for a baby
Vincent: BUT THE BABY DID IT! WHY ARE WEEEEEEEEEEEEE TO BLAME!
Cybil: Shut the hell up in there! (bangs her stick against the cells)
Vincent: Say baby, I always thought women in uniform were hot, how about using that 'cane' on me... (winks)
Cybil: Hold out yur hands
Vincent puts his hands out through the bars
Cybil: Here is what I think of it-(takes his hands and beats his knuckles with her night stick)
Vincent: NO! Too many memories...of...catholic school...!
(flashback)
Vincent is ten years old and is sitting at his desk with a bunch of boys and girls standing there is a twenty year old nun holding a stick.
Nun: Hello, I am sister Alice and welcome to St. Angela's School for Naughty Children before we begin our lessons are there any questions...yes Vincent
Vincent: Uh...is it true that you guys dont wear anything under neath your robes?
Children: (burst into laughter)
Alice: Young man! (moves omiously towards Vincent) hold out your hands young man!
Vincent does what he is told and proceeds to get his knuckles beaten by a ruler as the children laugh
Vincent No! (whack) not my beautiful hands (whack) oh my god I'm bleeding (whack) I hate this place (WHACK) I will make my own religion (WHACK) with hot chicks and booze and no ruler hitting nuns in fact (WHACK) forget the ruler hitting nuns rule and the booze (WHACK) Oh this hurts so good! (WHACK WHACK WHACK)
(end flashback)
Vincent: Owwwwwwwww-hey why did you stop?
Cybil: Because you were saying that it "hurts so good"?
Vincent: Oh I did didn't I? Tee hee?
Heather: (in a another holding cell) Ten dollars say he become somebodies 'bitch' in a hour or so...
Outside the police station, James, Claudia, Harry, Frank, Maria, Richard, and Eileen are standing outside the police station counting out the bail money.
Richard: Oh this sucks...we won't have enough to break them out of jail!
Maria: I have a idea follow me guys!
Inside, a man in a uniform is looking through a magazine when a blond woman in a black bikini steps in and before you are think "Oh my god she got Jessica Simpson in here from that god aweful 'Dukes of Hazzard' movie" no its none other than our own Maria! Yay! She saunters over to the desk and sits down on it crossing her legs.
Maria: (sounding like a lusty tavern wench) oh dear...I seems to have lost my wallet...will you be a dear and help me find it (traces her finger along his neckline) in the "Lost and Found" box...(giggles)
Guard with the key: Well...I...I... O.o
James: (pokes his head through the door) Maria, are you done groping the guard so you can his keys and we can free our friends yet?
Maria: (jumps off the desk) HELL NO! YOU BASTARD GET BACK IN THERE!
Guard: Wait...(looks at James) Uh...you know...maybe I CAN work something out with you guys, just have that boy in the broom closet in five minutes and I will give you the keys to the cell
James: What?
Frank: God idea, James, you go with the pervert!
James: No daddy!
Frank: I am your father and you do what I say-NOW! (brings out the plank)
James: Yes daddy...(goes into the broom closet)
Harry: Uh...Frank, did you just...um...'prostitute' your own son?
Frank: Yes but (acts all innocent) Think of Heather and poor little baby Peter (a imaginery halo appears over his head)
Harry: (thinks) Yes that true...good job
Maria: (still in her binkini shivering) Can I have my clothes back now?
Authoress: (that's me) No not yet...just a few more minutes of eye-candy for my male readers and lesbian ones...
So after the first fifteen minutes of "Hey get your hands out off there" and "Daddy help!" James came out holding his pants and a set of holding keys and everyone let out a collective "Yays" except for Maria who:
Maria: Ah choo! (sniffles)
So, Vincent and Heather were let out of their holding cells
Heather: Father! (runs into Harry's arms)
Vincent: Claudia! (runs to her and stops when he sees her arms crossed over her chest)
Claudia: It "hurts so good"?
Eileen: I will go get Peter
Eileen enters the next room where Peter is being held by a score of policemen when she opens the door she sees them laying on the floor with pens stuck into thier eye sockets and mouths laying in a pool of thier own blood as Peter sits in the middle coloring pictures. He looks up and sees Eileen clapping happily and reaches his stubby arms out for her. Eileen walks through the sea of dead police bodies and picks up Peter retracing her steps nervously as she makes her way out of the collective office.
Eileen: Okay...(screams) LETS THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
As the gang leave the guy with keys to the holding cell makes a "call me" gesture to James who is trying to put one leg into the pants hole. Richard lags behind but eventually he catches up.
Harry: What took you Richard?
Richard: Oh I happen to have met a old friend of mine in here...Walter...yeah, I just gave him the address to Henry and Eileen.
Eileen and Henry: (nervously) Uh...really?
Richard: Yeah, as soon as he commits suicide in his jail cell and begins his Twenty-something "Sacrements" thing he is coming to visit you guys...
Henry: (nods and leans in to whisper to Eileen) I will pick up some candles and weapons on the way home
Eileen: (whispers back holding Peter) Okay...
Richard: What are you guys whispering about?
Henry and Eileen: NOTHING! O.O
Richard: Good!
Maria: Can I PLEASE put my clothes on now!?
Vincent and Authroress: NOT YET!
That night at Apartment 302 everyone sat down around the campfire drinking hot cocoa and eating fattening gingerbread men. All except for Maria who had to eat chicken soup and lay on Henry's bed to keep warm with a thermometer stuck in her mouth. Peter wearing his little red footsy pajamas opens his presents and gave everyone his which consisted of colorful pictures of them and various macabre symbols that you would find in probably a few of the games.
Authoress: Sorry Maria :D
Heather: Oh he is soooooo talented look at his pictures dad!
Harry: I agree, maybe we should enroll him daycare of kingergarden!
Vincent: (spits out his hot cocoa on Richard) JUST NO CATHOLIC ONE!
Richard: (glares evily at Vincent) You're dead...
TBC
Next up Peter learns his first words and the gang take him to his first day of Child Day Care! What else should happen next? Send in your review and suggestions and I hope you enjoyed Maria in her bikini she did it all for you!
