Well, here's my contribution - sorry it didn't turn out to be funny like the others, it didn't come out as I had planned it at all, but it kind of wrote itself... I tag Zelgadis55 for the next chapter!
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Chapter 4
It had been a few hours since Hakkai left, and Sanzo started to have a sneaking suspicion that he did not plan to return any time soon. The child was in his arms - again. He had tried to put her back on the bed to finally be able to smoke a cigarette multiple times, but every time he had put her down, she promptly woke up and started bawling again.
Little monster...
If he thought about it, babies were a perfect reason for the monks of the temple to practice celibacy - this kind of ruckus would drive anyone trying to meditate straight up the wall.
Then again, sometimes even celibacy didn't keep you from having a constant annoyance around.
"Hey Sanzo, do you think Gojyo and Hakkai gave her a name yet?"
Oh, to have a hand free to dish out some whacks with the fan...
Sanzo felt a dull thudding starting to pulse in his temples - the beginnings of a nasty migraine.
"Do I look like I give a damn?"
Goku pouted at him.
"She should have a name, y'know... I dunno why, but... I seem to remember a time when I didn't have one, and I really didn't like it. Let's give her one - if Hakkai already picked one, we can always go with that later."
Sanzo shrugged, slightly startled by the monkey's vague memory, but still not interested enough to care.
"Do what you want."
Five minutes later, he began to sorely regret his offhand remark - because now Goku started talking to the baby, devising possible names and then discarding them again after a short look at the - still sleeping - child, as if she would somehow approve of a name once he came up with the right one.
"... no, I wouldn't name you after Lirin, she's way too annoying... what d'you think of 'Kanzeon'?"
At that one, Sanzo smirked. "You want to name the child after the old chick with dick? You've got even poorer taste than I thought."
He decided to make an executive decision then, not because he cared, but because he wanted Goku to finally shut the hell up.
"We'll call her 'Mei'. It's short and easy enough to remember - even for you and the red-headed cockroach."
Goku smiled, undeterred by the insult implied by the monk's remark. "That's a good name, Sanzo. Hakkai's right - you are good with kids!"
Sanzo grunted something unintelligible that sounded suspiciously like "Piss off."
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Sanzo jolted up in his seat. It had gotten completely dark by now - obviously, he had fallen asleep a while back.
No wonder, since I couldn't do anything because the brat held me hostage...
The child...
He looked down and found his arms devoid of the baby. Had all of this stuff been some sort of bizarre nightmare?
He looked around and decided that Mei had indeed been for real - all the baby articles lying about the room wouldn't be there otherwise.
But then... where was she? Had he actually managed to put her to bed without her starting her head-splitting wailing again? A quick check told him that this was not the case.
Only then did he realize that he seemed to be alone in the house. Where the hell was Goku?
Hn, he can look out for himself... but if I don't find the brat, Hakkai's gonna be pissed all to hell.
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Half an hour later, Sanzo was in an extraordinary bad mood. After looking just about everywhere for the baby, he had decided to give it a rest and finally have a goddamn smoke. Maybe he'd come up with the hiding spot the little monster had found herself if he stepped away from the problem for five minutes and took some time to think.
Where the fuck is Goku when you actually need him - damn monkey would've sniffed her out by now.
He had checked in all places a baby could possibly get to and even some that she couldn't possibly access by herself. He had looked under the beds, in the closet, in the oven, in the bath tub - hell, even in the fucking toilet! - but still, no sign of Mei.
Angrily, he crushed the remains of his cigarette in Gojyo's ash tray, deciding to try and check outside for her.
He opened the door - and found himself face to face with Hakkai.
Oh shit...
"I am sorry for the long wait, Sanzo - the shop was all out of your favorite blend, so I had to search around for a little while... is she sleeping?"
Hakkai frowned as he saw the odd look the monk gave him - if he didn't know it better, he would describe it as the old "deer in the headlights"-look. Not very Sanzo-like - and definitely not a good sign.
His vague worries solidified when Sanzo backed away from him ever so slightly.
"Um... she might..."
Hakkai's frown deepened.
"Sanzo - where is she?"
The monk slowly shook his head.
"I have no clue. I've searched everywhere and I can't find her. Goku's gone, as well."
Had Hakkai not known him better, he would have sworn Sanzo was actually... worried.
"Well, we can search again together, but since she doesn't seem to be in the house, it might be that Goku took her along to wherever he went off to."
Sanzo looked up to meet Hakkai's gaze. How idiotic of him - he hadn't even considered that possibility!
"Goddamn monkey - he could have left a note or something..."
... especially since he made me look like a complete moron! I swear, once I get my hands on him...
Just at this inopportune point in time, said monkey strolled around the corner, the baby strapped into a carrying harness situated on his chest. He waved at the two older men, oblivious to the daggers Sanzo glared at him.
"Hello Hakkai, Sanzo! I just went out for a bit to see if anybody recognizes her - don't let Gojyo try, Hakkai, he'd want to keep her for all the attention he'd be getting from girls... OUCH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"
While Goku held his aching head, Sanzo put away the fan, took the baby out of the harness and gave it to Hakkai without a comment. Then, he turned back towards Goku - and whacked him over the head a couple more times for good measure.
"OW! That hurts, Sanzo!"
Sanzo looked at him out of still dangerously narrowed eyes.
"I hope you remember this little object lesson when you decide to run off again without telling anybody, idiot monkey."
Hakkai chuckled at the all-too-common display. "I believe that would be Sanzo's way of telling you that he was worried, Goku."
That promptly earned him a dirty look from Sanzo, as if he wanted to say, "Worried? Me? PAH!"
As usual, Goku didn't know when to back off. He began to grin again.
"You were worried about Mei, Sanzo?"
This time, Sanzo actually humphed. "As if I care about the brat."
Hakkai raised an eyebrow. "Mei?"
Goku nodded. "Sanzo gave her the name..."
That earned him another whack with the fan. "Because you wouldn't shut up about it! Now. Be. QUIET!"
Sanzo had shouted the last word, so it was no wonder that little Mei actually woke up and started her wailing concerto again.
"Oh my, she woke up!" Hakkai laughed.
"I'm going to prepare something to eat for her - could you take care of her until I'm done, Sanzo?"
Even though he got a grumbled "Whatever!" for an answer, Sanzo took her without protest and walked in after Hakkai. Again, Mei had stilled the moment she had ended up in the monk's arms, and Goku could have sworn he had seen a slight smile tugging on Sanzo's lips before he vanished in the darkness of the house. However, mentioning it would have resulted in another thrashing with the fan, so he decided to keep that little observation to himself as he followed the two men through the door.
Yaay! She's finally got a name!
It's a good one, too. Did you know Mei in Japanese means life? I only know that because it's the firstsyllable in my Japanese name.
Means some other stuff, too. I'l post it with the next chapter if I can find my notes.
Anyway, let's hear a round of applause for our Diva here!
