A/N: Hey guys! So here is the update... This chapter is boardering on the rating M, so I just want to give you all a head's up. Thanks for the reviews! They are truly amazing... Also, I'll update "Aftershock" tonight sometime. Thanks for reading and enjoy!
-Chapter Four-
Christmas dinner at the Leery household was fairly awkward for Pacey and Joey. Pacey mainly stayed around Jack, Doug, and Dawson, while Joey was avoiding him by "watching" the kids in the play room.
Anne was the first one to notice the tension between Pacey and Joey, but decided not to say anything. She put her suspicions to the test over dinner when she suggested the two sit by each other. Immediately this suggestion brought forth awkward glances from the two with both of them looking away and appearing somber. The tension lasted all through dinner and even up until the time they left at 7 o'clock.
The drive home was just as bad, with long periods of silence. Only the sounds of some Christmas music on the radio and baby Keegan's chattering in the back provided a mild sanctuary from their tension.
However, by the time Keegan's bath was taken and his bedtime routine taken care of, both Pacey and Joey had had enough of this childishness. Joey was the first one to break the ice.
"Pace?" she called out uneasily as she entered the living room. The fire was already going strong, creating the warm smells of wood burning in the fireplace and painting a very similar picture to the night before where this strain began in the first place.
Pacey looked up from his spot on the sofa, a light-colored beverage was in his hand that Joey suspected was alcoholic. His face was showing all the lines he had accumulated over the day and it was then she realized how much of an effect their fight had had on him.
She took a seat close to him on the couch, holding a flat rectangular box wrapped in shiny red Christmas paper. There was a silver ribbon wrapped around the present that came together in the shape of a bow, in the center. She hesitated before finally giving it to him.
"I was going to give you this last night," she began softly, as he put his drink down and took the gift. "But… well… you know what happened."
Pacey looked at Joey and smirked, "You aren't serving me with the divorce papers, are you?"
Joey didn't laugh. "That's not funny, Pacey."
He glanced down at the present, "Sorry… bad joke."
Joey watched as he began to unwrap his gift - slowly untying the bow and completely removing the ribbon. He carefully tore open the paper as if he had all the time in the world. When he finally uncovered the flat white box, he found a large square photo album placed inside, wrapped neatly in green tissue paper.
The album was bound in brown leather and when he opened it up to the first page, Joey's handwriting jumped out at him.
"To a great friend, lover, husband, & father… Every day that I wake up in your arms is a dream come true and I couldn't ask for a better life than the one I've created with you.
With all my heart, Joey."
Pacey glanced up at his wife and smiled. "Thank you, Jo," he said grateful, putting one arm around her and kissing her forehead lightly.
"I meant every word," she replied softly, leaning back to welcome his lips on hers.
When they finally parted and he turned the page, a black and white photograph of Pacey holding Keegan came to life. It was a picture taken over the summer when they went sailing on Devotion with the Richardson's – Pacey's business partners and now very close friends.
Keegan was sitting on top of his father's shoulders, his chubby hands clinging to Pacey's wavy hair, as they looked out at the water around them. Pacey was pointing towards something with one hand, while the other steadied the boy on his shoulders. Keegan was looking in the direction of his father's finger, completely enthralled with what he was telling him.
The happiness in that photo could not be contained and fixed a large grin on Pacey's face as he gazed down at the memory. When he turned the page again, he saw an exact replica of the previous picture – only this one was sketched out with a gray pencil. The initials "JLW" was written in long loops at the bottom of the page.
"Jo… this is beautiful," he exclaimed as one hand gently moved over the plastic cover in awe, while the other absentmindedly caressed Joey's back.
She smiled, not even looking at the picture, but instead studying his face. With each stroke of his thumb on her back, her body seemed to relax and she rested her head against his shoulder.
Page after page was filled with great memories of their summer vacation at sea – each holding an exact replica of Joey's drawings. When Pacey finally reached the last one, Joey sat up and took the leather album from him. She wrapped her arms around it and placed it close to her heart – as if she were hugging a pillow.
"Do you understand now what I was trying to tell you last night, Pacey?" she asked with uncertainty, as Pacey turned to look at her. "Do you understand that you and Keegan are my life? My dreams?"
Pacey listened carefully, watching as each word she spoke seemed to come directly from her heart. Her eyes were glistening with passion as she continued to explain.
"What I meant last night was that I never understood why I couldn't have both of my dreams come true… career-wise AND family-wise. Right now I have everything I've ever wanted – more than I've ever dreamed of - but I just thought that maybe I could expand this dream into my writing… And I guess I was just disappointed last night because it isn't going to happen."
"But Jo, it can still happen!"
"No it can't, Pacey…" she replied adamantly. "I won't move away from my family. I won't give up my ultimate dream – and that is you Pacey. It's always been you."
Pacey smiled with her declaration as his heart picked up in pace. He gently moved his hand to cup her chin, while his thumb traced her bottom lip.
"Do you believe me, Pacey?" she asked hesitantly, studying his eyes, "Because it's important to me that you never doubt my love for you."
He leaned forward and answered her without any words, letting his lips and hands do the talking for him. It was the kind of "yes" that was way more effective than any conversation could possibly express.
When their lips started to move together in the kind of rhythm that only true soul-mates could perfect, Joey became eager to intensify their passion. Her hands quickly moved to free Pacey's shirt from his black slacks and she began to work on removing his belt.
Her eagerness to make love sent a surge of electricity through Pacey and before long he had lifted her from the couch and was carrying her down the hallway to their bedroom – his lips still dancing across her skin.
"Oh god, Pacey," she said breathily, with her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms clinging to his neck and shoulders for support.
He gently guided her down to the bed, as his open mouth kisses were sending hot chills through her body. He only moved away once and that was to remove her sweater, leaving her dressed in only her black-lace bra and jeans – a very sexy combination that was turning him on like never before.
He could never deny how beautiful Joey was with nothing hiding her from his heated gaze. It only amplified how much he wanted to kiss and touch every inch of her body with only his emotions as his guide. He wanted to worship her like the graceful angel she was – the way she deserved.
He let his hands travel over the curves on her body, starting at her hip and gliding across her smooth stomach. He felt her tremble and sigh underneath him with his touch, sending a rush of desire through his body.
A deep growly sound came from the bottom of his throat when Joey began to unbutton his shirt. The cool air bit at his skin with fervor, but Joey's hands were quickly warming him up as she explored the firm flesh with tender caresses.
"I need you, Pacey," she said in between thick moans and heavy sighs. "Please."
He complied with her request, letting his hands and lips roam over her body boundlessly; building a fire that was growing more passionate with each stroke and affectionate caress.
"God, I love you, Pacey," she exclaimed with pleasure, as he was loving on her body.
He smiled, enjoying giving her the kind of love she desired - for it was the same kind of love he desired as well. They quickly parted from the rest of their clothing and Joey gasped at the feel of his skin so close to hers. She could feel his steady heartbeat against her chest and knew he was giving her all he had to offer.
When there was nothing left between them but the love they were making, he murmured soft sounds of worship in her ear and promises of a love that would last forever. There was no hiding the truth when their souls came together like this - as one.
Every touch was slow and deliberate, while their hearts were beating fast and uninhibited. Their passion was building steadily and when the magical moment of bliss was finally achieved, Pacey laid back on the bed gently taking his wife with him.
His arms were wrapped around her securely as he pressed his lips to her forehead with one last kiss. "I love you, Jo," he murmured against her dewy skin, the scent of her still consuming his senses and making him light-headed.
It was amazing at how alluring her scent was. He had never been this intensely attracted to a woman in his whole life – a fact that he was reminded of every time they made love. And his love for her never even compared to any of the other relationships he had had in the past. It was the kind of love that was so pure that sometimes it made him ache; sometimes it even made him doubt the fact that it was real. But it was real… very real. This was proven with the little brown-haired mischief maker they had created. And looking down at Joey, holding her gaze, he knew she felt the same way.
Joey slowly closed her eyes, clinging to his chest, as her fingers danced lazily over his skin. "I love you too, Pace," she whispered, before drifting off into a deep, peaceful slumber.
Pacey just laid there and watched as her breaths became deeper and more even. Her rosy cheeks were illuminated from the light in the window and her dark hair was fanned out on his bare chest and shoulder. The tips of his fingers were stroking the skin between her back and stomach, drawing careless lines across the velvet flesh.
It wasn't clear how long he laid there like that, just watching her sleep, but the next thing he knew, he had opened his eyes and discovered that she was gone. The beautiful woman who had graced him with her love the night before had disappeared.
He hastily threw the covers off his body and put on a pair of boxers before exiting the room in search of his lover. Of course he found her in the room across the hall, holding Keegan in the rocker, reading him a story.
Her voice was gentle and steady as she read from the classic, "Goldilocks and the Three Bears." Keegan's bright blue eyes were focused on the illustrations in the book, while Pacey's were focused on the little boy's beautiful mother. He had his thumb in his mouth, sucking away, when he looked up and discovered his father standing in the doorway.
"Daaaa!" he squealed, bouncing in his mother's lap and stretching out his arms to be picked up.
Joey set the book aside and smiled, "Good morning, Daddy."
"Mornin,' Jo," he replied with a knowing grin, before placing a kiss on her cheek.
"How's my son doing today, huh Keegan?" Pacey asked as he scooped up the bubbly baby in his arms. "Have you had your breakfast yet, little man?"
Keegan smiled and pointed to the door, "Ba-baa!"
Joey stood up and tightened the rope around her waist that was covering her. "I haven't fed him yet. I was going to wait until after our story."
"Ahh," Pacey replied, bouncing Keegan on his side. "Shall I leave and let you two finish?"
Joey smiled and shook her head, "No way. You mentioned food and there's no way Keegan and I are going to be able to concentrate now."
Pacey laughed and put his free hand on her back, "Well then, come on Jo. I'll fix us some breakfast."
Keegan bounced up and down in excitement, pointing to the door again, squealing gibberish.
"Alright, alright, let's get him his 'ba-baa,'" Joey said with a smile as Pacey guided her out the door. "But I expect my blue berry pancakes crisp this morning."
"Have my culinary abilities ever let you down?" he asked smugly.
Joey glared at him, "Now don't be too modest, Pace. It might ruin 'the mood'."
Pacey smiled and followed her into the kitchen.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
As Pacey sat in the living room, looking over the scrapbook Joey had given him for Christmas, he couldn't help but notice all the talent emitted into her work. She was very good and it was a shame that she wasn't sharing these talents with the rest of the world. The same could be said about her writing.
"Hey Pace!" Joey called out from the nursery where she was putting Keegan down for his nap. "Where's Ry's Duddle Duck?"
Pacey smiled and gently closed the album. He got up and went into the nursery to help her look. Joey was already in there, holding Keegan on her hip, looking through a long toy box for Keegan's favorite toy.
"I thought it was in his crib," Pacey replied, glancing around the room.
"I already looked there and I can't find it," she answered, standing straight again, and rocking Keegan back and forth in a soothing motion.
Pacey lightly caressed the top of Keegan's head. His eyes were already beginning to droop as his head rested on his mother's shoulder. He wouldn't be awake for much longer.
"Why don't you try rocking him without it and I'll check the other rooms."
Joey agreed and sat down in the rocking chair by the window, as she cradled the baby boy in her arms.
Pacey didn't have to search the house for very long, before he found the black duck in his bedroom, under the bed. Keegan must have dropped it in there when he was following Joey around this morning. That was their routine after all – Joey fixing her hair and making the bed as Keegan would follow her around in amazement.
He carefully picked up the stuffed animal and went across the room to return it to its owner and that's when it hit him. He was consumed in the battle they had been fighting for the last few days and was completely overwhelmed.
There was Joey, looking down at their son with such love and affection that immediately his heart was screaming to make another one. But then at the same time, his mind went back to the scrapbook she had made and all the talent filled within it's pages, and he knew now was not the right time to have another baby.
His face became solemn as he was fighting the internal battle within himself with the questions – do what's best for Joey? Or do what's best for their family?
"Pacey?" she whispered with concern. "Are you okay?"
Pacey relaxed slightly and handed her the duck. He knew what he had to do.
"Yeah, I'm fine… but we need to talk."
Joey's features grew concerned as she studied her husband. She gently placed the sleeping baby in his crib, before following him into the kitchen to talk.
"You need to sign the contract Jo," he blurted out before she had a chance to sit down. "You need to move to New York and become the author I know you can be."
"What?" she asked completely confused.
Pacey took a deep breath and slowed down. "This is your chance Jo. It's that 'now or never' scenario we've been waiting for and I'm not going to get in the way this time."
Joey folded her arms, trying to figure out where all this was coming from.
"You may never get another opportunity like this again, Jo," he explained, fervently. "It's just a year and I'm sure they'll let me visit you and Keegan in New York when I'm not working at the restaurant."
"But Pacey, this just doesn't make sense."
"It makes perfect sense, Joey!" he replied with a smile, fighting his aching heart. "You, Josephine Potter, have always been destined to do great things and you can't accomplish everything from a small town like Capeside. You've got to go somewhere bigger – somewhere, where all your talents can be freed and expressed to the world. It's not right to not sign that contract. It is right to move to New York."
Joey stood there, stunned. She looked around the room without really noticing anything. She was just thinking about what he was telling her to do and what that would mean for their relationship – for their family.
"You know," she said after awhile with a smirk. "I'm starting to understand how you became so good at that marketing job a few years back."
Pacey released a tense breath and smiled. "Well someone has got to be the voice of reason here."
"I agree, but I'm not so sure that it's you," she teased, as she placed her arms around his waist.
Pacey smiled and kissed the top of her forehead. "So what's the verdict, Jo? Are you taking my family to New York?"
Joey tensed and looked away. She didn't know what to say. Everything was telling her this was wrong, but for some reason, she just couldn't fight it.
Pacey felt his heart break when she mumbled the one, painful word, he was dreading to hear.
"Yes."
XOXOXOXOXOXO
