~4~
"A portrait?" I felt his sapphire eye look at me with an emotion I never really wanted to acknowledge before.
Annoyance?
"Yes, a portrait! Of us! Wouldn't that be cute?" I smiled and pressed on. I was too naïve, too young.
Why couldn't you love me, Ciel? I don't understand….
He gave his signature sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was in thought.
I brightened.
He was actually considering it! He actually thought of one of my ideas! I was usually forced to forcing things on him, which I realized later on, was for my own self-gratification. I wanted to be important to Ciel even if it were just as his relation-since I never really thought of our engagement as a bridge to romance with him- something I also realized when I married and had my own children.
I couldn't have had a family with Ciel.
He wasn't of this world since he came back, something the people around him sorely failed to see, especially me.
"Elizabeth…" he started his voice sounded a little raspy. Sebastian told me he'd been cooped up in his study the whole morning and it seemed a perfect waste to me since the weather was so fine. My eyes widened in expectation. He saw it. The tell-tale twinkle in my emerald eyes and it made his face fall- if only slightly. Ciel Phantomhive's face only came in one package and it was capable of very little movement except in the presence of…
"Sebastian and I had….."
Him
Again it was Sebastian. He, who shared no blood with my cousin, who was only, hired help. I wasn't one to be easily angered and although I threw too many tantrums to count in my youth this simply made my blood run cold, an all new level of anger. It was fury that I felt not vexation, not hurt-just hate at that black butler for stealing Ciel and turning him into this cold little doll. I unconsciously blamed Sebastian. When I was old enough to realize how to blame or even think of blaming but that came too late and I never had the chance to take it out on him or to complain to Ciel about it.
I knew it would hurt him but the anger made me press on. I was pushing, then, shoving but my cousin would not be walled. The cold and calculating Ciel could not be out done by any burst of my childish emotions. Could not be swayed by the hurt I made visible in my eyes.
Have I seen the hurt in his eye?
I suddenly stopped. I never had. He's never cried to anyone after the fire even with the loss of dear Madame Red. I'd never seen him anguished.
"Lady Elizabeth,…" a deep voice spoke behind me as the door swung fully open revealing it's owner and the cart he pushed.
"If I may interrupt…" He smoothly dispersed the tension in the room. I saw Ciel's shoulders relax and his face returned to its perfect mask. It was as if he drew strength from Sebastian's existence. He was like a drug that sedated and calmed Ciel, though, at times, he also pushed Ciel to action.
I'd never know what both of them had. What the days and nights they spent together meant but even as a child I knew it was something no one could ever fully understand.
The world was he and he was the world.
"My master has been quite busy and he's in need of rest…" He poured my cousin tea. Speaking in a low voice that Ciel seemed to be acutely listening too. He seemed relieved then.
It's the portrait.
I kept my eyes on the pair. It really made a wonderful portrait and no matter how irritated I was with Sebastian I couldn't deny that. They way Ciel sat back on his leather chair his face calm but intent, looking truly dignified in his suit of evergreen. His eye was only half opened in the manner of one listening to a pleasing concerto, his legs were poised one over the other and his hands were languidly draped on the chair's wooden armrests. Sebastian stood closely beside him smiling as he spoke. The black butler was truly impeccable just as it would please his equally beautiful master. He gently placed the resin-colored china on Ciel's heavy antique desk. His face had a quality I couldn't quite understand but it made him look all the more handsome- I sometimes saw it in Ciel. A dark looming quality I never really grasped. He was talking about cake now and he offered me some which I unwittingly took, my childish mind mesmerized by what seemed like a beautiful but forbidden portrait of my cousin and his butler. They seemed trapped within that time framed by the gentle afternoon light which danced through the large French windows. The lines of reality blurred between the two of them. Nothing really existed at that moment.
And then Ciel smiled and I knew that I'd forever be defeated.
No one, not even Michelangelo, could ever create such a "real" portrait of me and Ciel. There was simply too little to put color and life on but as my tears welled and their forms blurred I had to smile too. For the both of them, for my cousin whose happiness life had denied too many times and for his ever faithful servant, the reality and beauty of a portrait could never be in question.
"Sebastian…"
I was lacing his nightshirt.
"Yes, Young Master?" I looked up at him. His eyes were far off as if in thought. It irked me, how even his marked eye could stray. I placed my gloved hand on his soft cheek gently drawing his broken attention.
"Are you bothered by anything, young master?" I asked placing my face dangerously close to his.
He started then blushed. I chuckled. How adorable my little Master could be.
"Elizabeth acted rather oddly this afternoon don't you think?"
The thought made me sigh. How far had the mighty fallen? I was admittedly jealous of a twelve-year-old girl. I, the very picture of temptation, was insecure to a bubbly child.
"She seemed quite upset at not being able to convince you to having a portrait painted with her." I lifted him and placed his incredibly light body on the bed.
"A portrait?" He asked as if musing again.
"Would you fancy one master?" I asked, setting his covers to rights.
"What for? So that I'd be reminded of how sin-stained I am?" It was a pity the Master had taken to disliking mirrors and paintings considering how beautiful he was. If one could ever immortalize that beauty in the way that I would not, I would be more than pleased.
"It showed a portion of one's life but sometimes just enough to praise or condemn you." He spoke his eyes were starting to blur with sleep.
"But you have never cared, have you? If you were condemned much less praised it never really mattered." I spoke stroking his soft teal-colored locks. "And so you fancy a portrait…" I grinned. He had drifted off to a fitful slumber.
And you shall have one, Young Master
"What is all this, Sebastian?" I asked, slightly vexed, as he lead me through familiar but darkened corridors.
Sebastian, I knew well, was still capable of old tricks. Even now, after our status had drastically changed, he was still up to mischief; trying to make me look "adorable" when what I really wanted my features to relay was my being aghast or annoyed.
He kept silent and continued to lead me, holding me gently by the hand. It was one of the few things I appreciated with our relationship having changed. It irked me less when affections were shown or exchanged given that it was in private. Holding hands was never one of my favorites though it never failed to chase the fear out of me.
The fear of the end and of impending damnation- I had made another contract I would never see the light of redemption anyway so I'd stay with the salvation I know, with the love that, though it be a farce, I could feel and see.
We went through numerous corridors until we came to a pair of great oaken doors which, as I recalled, lead to a great ballroom my parents had rarely used.
"Do you recall, young master, that night when we spoke of portraits?" He placed his hands on the heavy doors and with a grand gesture, only he could manage, he presented me his handy work.
The soft yellow lights blurred and mystified the room's details. It was bright but in a sleepy, lulling way like the rooms one usually saw in Morpheus' realm. It amazed me but I rather drop dead than admit it. The walls, which were formerly paneled with aged wood, were covered with thick red velvet; flowing down, like a lady's train, sweeping the floor with its gold-trimmed edge. The large French windows were open to the white marble balcony and the refreshing summer breeze entered the spacious hall. The white marble floor was tinged yellow and pale white as the light from the grand chandeliers and the pale crescent moon reflected on it.
It was surreal, beautiful and ephemeral. A place I hated because it was so much like the savage garden I had to survive but loved because it was so much like me, a darkened thing, passing and shadowed.
"So you see, Master…" Sebastian called my attention as I walked, as if in a trance, to the balcony. "All that glitters is not gold…"
He gave me one of his innocent smiles.
All that glitters is a sin
"So why am I here?" I asked, finally returning to myself.
"Portraits should be painted with wonderful backgrounds don't you think, Master?"
"I told you I wanted no portraits!" I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks.
Once again Sebastian had directly disobeyed me. Another thing that amazed me was how he always did. I was about to throw an epic sulk when I saw the look on his face.
He was expecting it!
He looked at me with eyes filled with pleasure, like a child shown his favorite toy.
It made me reign in my anger. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of doing me in again. I righted myself and looked him in the eye.
"Well if you've arranged for it then I cannot do anything without looking childish, can I?"
"I'm afraid not, Master" his face didn't show a hint of annoyance when I presumably thwarted his plan. I was slightly annoyed but then again how long have we been doing this? Our teasing each other, our annoying one another equaled giving flowers and singing serenades. We did it to no end because it was rather appreciated by the other.
"Now if you would kindly come with me…" Sebastian gestured to a door I never really noticed before. I silently followed, tired of sparring with him. The door lead to a rather small and plainly furnished room- as plainly furnished as 'plain' would stand in my status. There was no bed only couches and a large antique wardrobe at the left-side corner. I was told to sit on one of the greater chairs as he fuzzed over something I couldn't see inside the wardrobe. After a few minutes of hearing the scratch of starched fabrics Sebastian emerged holding an elaborate suit of scarlet in his hands.
A.N: Sorry for the late update some things just had to be taken care of. For certain clarifications: the first part is in Elizabeth's POV and the second is Sebastian's (I hope I did that well _) and the third is Ciel' is the portrait's history and is the bulk of the mystery so don't be confused if it's suddenly the late 19th century. Please Review (copy paste haha :D)
P.A.N: I don't think I want this to be extremely, thickly, suffocatingly dark I believe in their darkness being beautiful because it's so uniquely subtle. London was having dark days and no one would have ever thought of anything worse than that. The element of unknowing is what makes it so appealing. haha. but that's my opinion- just tell me how you think! Review!
