Author's Note:
Yuri's Pizza really is the name of the Restaurant & Arcade in canon that they go to in episode 4x05 "There's Something I Need To Tell You", and also maybe (probably?) 4x07 "Together" as well when Kristina takes Max to the arcade. I checked that detail in order to be true to canon.
In chapter 3 I had also researched Cornell a little in order to be somewhat true to reality/life in some details, like the name of their dining rooms or chorus. :P
Chapter 4: This Didn't Have To Hurt Like That
Sitting in Yuri's Pizza, listening to the beeps and buzzes of the arcade area about twenty feet behind her, Sarah looked away from her daughter – away from the young Army guy clearly flirting with her – and instead, Sarah directed her gaze into Mark's eyes. She knew she'd been acting like a crazy person the past couple of days. She'd been throwing sneakers at her fiancé in his sleep and forcing him to go jogging instead of just trusting him to believe her when she told him what really had happened. If she was going to marry this man, she needed to be able to trust him at least this much.
"Mark?" she finally said.
He smiled back at her. "Yeah?"
"Hank… well he kissed me the other day."
Mark furrowed his brow and blinked a few times. "When you were at work?" he asked incredulously.
Sarah couldn't tell if her fiancé was angry or just surprised. She was pretty sure he was at least a little angry.
"I had a conversation with him about it. He knows I've…" Sarah leaned in closer to him and smiled. "He knows I've got somebody."
"So that definitely won't be happening again?"
Sarah nodded fervently. "Definitely," she agreed.
"I still don't love the idea of you working with him," Mark half-mumbled into his soda.
Sarah couldn't completely blame him. It was really odd sometimes for her to be the sole employee of a man who clearly harbored a crush on her, who had now even attempted kissing her once.
"I don't think I'll be working for him forever."
"I know," Mark said with a sigh. "You just need this experience. It's a rare opportunity. I'm not gonna stop you."
Smiling again, Sarah reached out toward him. He returned the smile as she gently placed her palms on the tops of his clasped hands. "I love you," Sarah said.
Before Mark got a chance to return the sentiment, he was distracted by the unexpected appearance of Haddie. Soon the entire Braverman clan was turning to look toward her.
As the girl hugged her parents and took her baby sister into her arms, everyone started murmuring about why she was home. Sarah glanced back over toward Amber, who, judging by the gesturing, was explaining who Haddie was to… Ryan? Was 'Ryan' the name of that young man Zeek had brought to the baseball game?
Soon, Amber was grabbing the young kids and leading them over to the video games, and then Kristina was revealing she had breast cancer to all of them. Sarah stood up first, not even hesitating for a minute to take it all in. Sarah's thought-process had always been a bit faster than most of her other family members, and besides, she'd already been at that 'must-comfort-my-sister-in-law' stage before Kristina had even managed to get the exact words out, because the poor woman had been so tearful, and seemed so fragile. The words had seemed exceedingly difficult for her to say.
After a tight hug, and a glance exchanged with her older brother, Sarah took a couple steps back in order to allow some of the other people around – people who also loved Kristina – a chance to hug and comfort her. They were all going to be there to support her in whatever way they could.
Joel was crying, Crosby was apologizing to Adam about getting on his case about something earlier that day, saying he never would've asked if he'd known, and even Zeek was assuring Kristina that he knew she'd be a fighter and would beat that "son-of-a-bitch" known as cancer. When Kristina chuckled through her tears at his joke, Sarah felt comforted too. Kristina was going to be okay. Zeek was right. She'd fight it and win.
Mark was lingering back a bit with Ryan and Drew, since Mark didn't exactly know Kristina as well as the rest of the family - wasn't even technically family yet despite his inclusion in the portrait a couple of months prior. Drew was never one to really get all touchy-feely with hugs either. Gently, Sarah patted her son's shoulder and then locked eyes with her fiancé, before glancing back at Drew.
"I'm gonna go talk to Amber, alright?" she said in a near-whisper. The guys nodded, understanding.
Heading over to the arcade, Sarah smiled when she saw how Amber had successfully gotten Sydney, Jabbar, Max, and Victor – all four of them – contentedly playing the games.
"Impressive," Sarah commented. "Do you have a sec?"
Amber smiled grimly. "Sure."
"Do you already know what Aunt Kristina was telling us over there?"
Amber glanced over to their family, still tearfully embracing, most of them out of their seats in a little huddle. "I don't know the specifics yet, but Uncle Adam told me a few weeks ago that she… she was sick."
"I'm sorry you had to hold onto a secret like that by yourself," Sarah said, wrapping her little girl up in a hug. "You're stronger than I remember to give you credit for sometimes, you know that?"
Amber rolled her eyes but smiled appreciatively. "Thanks, Mom."
Sarah didn't want to wait any longer to move in with Mark. Life was too short. The news of what Kristina was going through had knocked that urgency into Sarah, and before she knew it she was dragging her son with her into her fiancé's apartment. Drew seemed to be learning to adjust, though. Mark was being amazing too, most notably (in Drew's mind, at least) by getting cable installed just for Drew.
The incident with Amy and Drew having sex in the apartment was certainly a bump in the road, but their new little family overcame it. Things might not always be completely simple, but there was something special about learning to grow with Mark in this way. Even if Sarah still couldn't see herself giving Mark a baby of her own, maybe he would get a little taste of this parenting stuff through what was happening with Drew. And maybe, just maybe, that would be enough.
All of her siblings' families had adjustments they were making. Prior to his wedding the past summer, Crosby had never lived with or been responsible for raising his still quite young son full time. That had to be such a huge and difficult adjustment process for him to navigate! Sarah had actually heard, through the grapevine, that recently Crosby had even had to deal with talking to Jabbar about how he was black. He was so lucky Jasmine was there to help him. But even so, things could be harder. Both her kids were white and wouldn't have to deal with that kind of prejudice in their lifetimes. Sarah couldn't help but appreciate that her own life could've been even more complicated in so many ways.
Following the train of thought of families with a kid who didn't look like them, Sarah had noticed the process of Julia and Joel adopting Victor was clearly stressful and difficult. Julia ended up quitting her job and it sounded like she had quit rather than almost be terminated. Sarah had talked to Julia just enough to gather that she and Joel hadn't really been fully prepared for all of it, for how Sydney wouldn't just treat him like her brother, for how difficult it would be for this kid to make new friends, for how difficult it was for him to get good grades in his classes… even for Victor's general unhappiness. Julia clearly wanted to make things easier for him. She really, truly did. But the only thing she and her husband could do was try their best. Based on the few occasions Sarah had gotten the opportunity to talk to their new little boy, she felt confident her sister's family would be okay in the long run. Victor was a really good kid, and he wanted to be a Braverman (or, well, Graham). She could tell. He already felt like one of them. The adoption would work out, in the end.
And, of course, Adam. Her poor brother. His daughter being across the country for college meant one less kid to have to focus on parenting, sure, but also one less potential babysitter. Kristina had so many doctor's appointments nowadays, and Adam needed to find a way to parent his two younger kids – and their family's new puppy! – while also working full time. He also needed to find time to research his wife's condition and make sure they were doing everything they should be in order to get her back to full health.
Sarah knew that what she was going through was nothing in comparison to the huge changes the rest of her family was dealing with.
When Hank called Sarah one night, drunk, Mark was a little annoyed, understandably. Not only had the man interrupted their excited gazing at pictures of where they'd be staying the upcoming weekend at Mark's friend's wedding, but this was the man who had crossed a boundary with Sarah before – he had kissed Mark's fiancée and Mark didn't want this guy to get some kind of idea that he could just call Sarah whenever he was drunk and she'd rush over to help him find his way home.
"He's really not far," Sarah explained. She knew it was one-in-the-morning, and that this was a very odd position Hank had put her in. "I could pick him up, be right back. I'd call a cab for him but I think he'd be too confused to know it was for him and to get in it."
"No, wait." Mark seemed to have a better idea. "Tell me where he is. I met him that one time. I'm pretty sure I remember what he looks like. Let me pick him up."
Sarah scowled. "Are you sure you want to do that?"
"Yeah," Mark insisted. "As long as it's alright with you."
Sarah hesitated. Did Mark not trust her to be alone with Hank? That would be crazy, since he obviously knew she was alone with him every day at work. "Okay, I guess that's fine."
Mark grabbed the car keys and his jacket and proceeded to the bar at which Hank was stranded. Sarah had fallen asleep by the time he returned.
The next morning, Sarah brewed some coffee before the two of them departed for their jobs. When Mark emerged from their bedroom, dressed in his work-clothes, Sarah beamed pleasantly and poured him a mug.
Handing it to him, she asked, "So how'd it go last night?"
"Oh, well, he was quite the mess," Mark replied. He didn't sound judgmental. He was simply stating the facts. Mark continued, "It sounded like his ex-wife is moving to Minnesota with, um, I'm guessing his daughter?"
"Ruby?"
"Yeah, that was the name he kept using."
"Yeah, that's his daughter."
"I mean, I hope he doesn't make a habit of drinking like that, but I guess I understood why he was upset," Mark commented.
Sarah nodded.
Later in the day, when Hank tried to get Sarah to come with him for the last-minute job he booked, Sarah apologized. But she reminded him that she'd already taken off for Friday and the entire weekend. She and Mark couldn't miss that wedding in Napa. They had been looking forward to it for over a month! Hank, to his credit, understood, and said he'd figure out a way to work the job solo. He probably wouldn't be able to do the job very well, and Sarah was worried for him. But the only reason he took a job in that area was his ulterior motive of stopping his ex-wife from moving away, so he was determined. Sarah wished him luck.
The wedding in Napa was beautiful, and more importantly her weekend with Mark was so amazingly nice. It had been a long time since she'd felt this completely and totally in love. She was more sure than ever that she wanted to marry him, as soon as Drew graduated, and she wanted to move to New York with him and try to become a playwright, while he got a teaching job over there. Their dream was so close to coming true! And the best part was being able to tell he felt the exact same way; that this was truly a shared dream, something they both couldn't be more excited to see come to fruition.
Christmas Eve came around, and Sarah found herself working the tenth and final day of her job with Hank in the mall, dressed in red tights and a green elf hat. Crosby and Jasmine showed up fairly late into the day with not only Jabbar but also Max, and that was when Sarah first found out the frightening news. Kristina had been in the hospital since before dawn, and so far there had been no good news, no proof she was going to get better.
Sarah felt a little queasy. This was supposed to be the season of joy and celebration. How could Kristina get so sick so quickly? She'd known her sister-in-law was going through chemotherapy, but Sarah had thought she was surviving it, that this would most likely work and kill her cancer. Sarah had just spoken to her last week. Kristina had been buying gifts for all her kids excitedly in between making medicinal use of some marijuana. Life had been, all things considered, going okay for her. Haddie would be back home soon for the holidays, too, and Kristina had been so excited. But now?
Sarah tried to re-center herself. Tried to focus. She just had to make it through two more hours of her shift. She just had to power through it, help the kids pose for the camera, help make the pictures be the best they could be. She would be able to be there for Adam, Kristina, and the rest of her family soon enough.
The moment the guy in the Santa suit stood up from the chair, Sarah dialed her younger brother. She hadn't even taken off her hat or said a parting word to Hank before desperately trying to contact someone who might know the latest update on Kristina's situation.
"Crosby, how is she?" she uttered as soon as he picked up.
Crosby took a bit too long to answer, and there was a sinking feeling in Sarah's gut.
"She's… her white blood cell count is really low, and she's been in septic shock for hours now," Crosby gravely informed her. "They have her on antibiotics, and hopefully her body will soon react positively to them. They are just… waiting for her fever to break."
His words were optimistic, but his tone of voice wasn't.
"Thanks, Cros," Sarah replied solemnly. "Oh and did Haddie's flight make it in today?"
"No, the 'Snowpocalypse' is still in effect until midnight East Coast time, I'm pretty sure," Crosby said. "Haddie will probably be put on a flight first thing Christmas morning."
Sarah tried to feel glad to hear Haddie would make it in time for the holiday tomorrow. Sarah tried not to dwell on what it was Haddie was coming home to.
"I'm gonna call Mark," Sarah told Crosby. "See you at Mom and Dad's?"
"Yeah, we're all going over there tonight while we wait to hear more news from Adam."
Hanging up the phone, Sarah grabbed her street clothes and started heading toward the bathroom near the mall's food court to try to quickly change out of the ridiculous costume. She'd have her fiancé and Drew meet her at her parents' house. She could call Amber from the car, too, and make sure she was on her way as well. She couldn't wait to hug her kids.
Sarah and Mark looked on at all the young kids excitedly opening their presents, even little Nora who seemed like she couldn't be any more content than she currently was with her Aunt Jasmine. Crosby helped the toddler open her cute new red dress and her toilet trained doll that Kristina had clearly picked out for her, and it took everything in Sarah not to cry about how Kristina was missing all this. It wasn't the sadness of missing one Christmas morning that was so painful, though.
It was the very real possibility that she could die without getting to experience Christmas ever again.
Trying to distract herself, she looked away from the blond baby who was now fussing with a green ribbon, her aunt carefully monitoring her to prevent any choking incidents, and instead Sarah looked toward her own kids, both of which were basically grown. Amber read something on her phone, and then got up and went outside. Sarah exchanged a glance with her fiancé before slowly trekking over to the window to spy on them. She witnessed what was pretty clearly a break up, and then her daughter re-entered the house, trying to hide any trace of tears left on her face.
"Are you okay?" Sarah delicately inquired.
"Yeah," Amber said confidently, and then she forced a small smile.
Somewhere behind them, Zeek loudly informed everyone that it was time to get dressed. "We're heading down to the hospital! And if your Aunt Kristina is awake, we'd making sure she has her chance to open her presents Christmas morning just like the rest of us!"
They got to the hospital about one hour later.
The gifts… sadly remained wrapped.
