I've decided that because I love you guys so much and you all make me feel so loved, I shall post this chapter early. It's only 4 thousand words so it's not very long. But I have off this week from school and I have nothing better to do except work on my stories. (For quick summaries, go check out mah profile!) And today I thought, HEY WHY NOT GIVE THEM A LITTLE PRESENT?

Cuz from the last chapter I worked my way up to...

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And YOU GUYS MADE ME FEEL SO WARM AND TINGLY INSIDE SO I WANTED TO THANK YOU IN FORM OF ANOTHER CHAPTER. Have no fear, though, there's still one more to come. And of course, the bonus chapter ;D

Beware of OOC-NESS~

-x-

My eyes fluttered open to something I hadn't expected.

Itachi Uchiha. A naked one, at that.

?

Darling, don't you remember?

Remember what.

Oh my. Some horrible memory you have.

Whatchu talkin' bout, Pennywise?

Sakura, you are an idiot.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

Look down, would you?

I glanced down and almost let a gasp escape my lips.

I was naked.

WHAT ALKJFOIEDV:L?

Do you honestly not remember? YOU HAD SEX WITH ITACHI.

Oh my Kami… I REMEMBER. HOT DAMN I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A REALLY REALLY AWESOME DREAM!

"Good morning Sakura," Itachi's silky voice said, drawing my attention back to him.

"M-morning Itachi," I stuttered, blushing. Itachi smiled.

"You bring out a beast in the bedroom but in the morning you're shy? How odd," he laughed. He glanced down at our position which I hadn't noticed.

"Clingy, aren't you?" he teased. I blushed up a storm, realizing that our legs were tangled and Itachi had me in his chest, our equally naked bodies pressed together.

Seriously? Come ON, Sak. You'll never get over this if you don't face it head on! Just kiss him good morning!

I paused for a moment, considering Inner's screams. Then I inwardly shrugged and leaned closer to Itachi, stealing a kiss. Before he realized what I'd done, I had already left his embrace and wandered into the bathroom for a nice long shower.

When I had finished, Itachi was splayed on my bed in only boxers, flipping through the channels of my television.

"…"

"What?" Itachi asked lazily.

"Those aren't the same boxers from last night…"

"I know."

"…"

"I always bring an extra bag of clothes when I take out the limo. Never know!"

I tried to imagine Itachi going out to the limo at this hour wearing nothing. I laughed, thinking of the various women in my neighborhood.

"What's so funny?" Itachi wondered, suddenly appearing behind me. I jumped and shrieked.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" I whined, "Especially when I am wearing nothing but a towel!"

"But I think I like you best when you're wearing just that…" Itachi murmured, tugging the tucked in edge lightly. I slapped his hand away.

"No. Bad Itachi."

DING DONG

"Could you get that? I'm kinda lacking clothes."

Itachi nodded and pulled on his jeans before going off to let in the visitor.

"SA~KU~RA~" Madara sang, "I am taking the bullet for everyone and will offer to be the one to do number 17 with you!"

I quickly pulled some skinny jeans and a floaty cami on before he burst into the room.

"Uh… yeah… about that…" I blushed.

"OH SAKURA, HAVE NO FEAR. I PROMISE TO BE GENTLE!" Madara screamed over enthusiastically.

"No… um… ya see… I already did number seventeen…"

"…"

Itachi took Madara's silence as an opportunity to wrap his arms around my waist and pull me to him.

"ITACHI YOU BASTARD!" Madara cried, fleeing the room in tears.

"What a baby," Itachi scoffed. His eyes flickered to me.

"What's next on the list, by the way?"

"I need to do something illegal."

"…"

"What?"

"Uh, technically you're underage… so we broke the law by having sex."

"…"

"…"

"TO THE HOSPITAL!"

-x-

"Hello sir, my name is Dr. Ruri and I will be your doctor today," I said with a fake smile, scratching my brunette head lightly.

DAMN WIG. IT ITCHES LIKE CRAZYYYYY

That's what you get for impersonating a doctor…

BUT I COULDN'T HELP IT. THE LAB COAT MAKES ME LOOK SO SEXY!

"Oh, is Doctor Tsunade out today?" Orochimaru asked confusedly.

"Yes, unfortunately. She was called out for an emergency," I replied, washing my hands in the sink.

"Oh that's a pity. Well, I'm sure you will take care of me as best as possible!"

"Of course, sir. That is my number one policy. Now tell me, what seems to be the problem? What has troubled you enough to pay me a visit today?"

"Well, you see… my arms… they feel as if they're dying. And I keep vomiting up what looks like pieces of a sword. And snakes keep approaching me!" he cried. I stared at him, puzzled.

"If… your arms feel as if they're dying… then you cannot move them?" I clarified, glancing at his limp arms.

"That is correct."

"Then… how did you get here?"

"I always have my manbitch handy," Orochimaru guaranteed.

Then from the darkest corner of the small room, a creeper emerged. His hair was poufy and blue and his pedo-glasses were perched dangerously low on his nose. He pushed them up in an anime fashion.

I shuddered, remembering his name. Kabuto.

"That's kinda scary…" I muttered.

"Did you say something, Dr. Ruri?" Orochimaru asked with concern.

"Oh no no no. I was just talking to myself," I reassured.

"Ya know, Dr. Ruri, there's something about you that seems awfully familiar…" Orochimaru stared into my green eyes.

"I don't see how that's possible, I mean, this is the first time we've met!" I said nervously.

"Do you know a Sakura Haruno? Her eyes are almost identical to yours," he continued suspiciously.

"Sakura Haruno? That sounds like a beautiful name! Probably to match a beautiful girl!" I ranted subconsciously.

"Come to think of it… your voice sounds very similar to hers as well…"

"Mr. Orochimaru, I'm afraid if you continue to make accusations of me, I cannot help you," I retorted hotly. The pedo-teacher blanched.

"I'm sorry. The likeness of you two is just remarkable! I do apologize for being so rude," he responded quickly.

"It is fine. Now if you'll just excuse me for a moment, I'd like to check with my colleagues about your symptoms."

"That's fine. I will wait here."

I grabbed my clipboard (the one I'd scribbled all over to make Orobitch think I was writing down his symptoms) and slipped out of the room. Itachi was waiting there.

"He's such a creep!" I whispered.

"Well, I think it was worth it, seeing as that lab coat makes you look extremely sexy," he smirked, taking my hand. Then we ran down the halls of the Konoha hospital and to the parked limo on the ground floor.

-x-

18. DO SOMETHING ILLEGAL.

I love lab coats! They make me look oh so sexayyyyy. But anyway, I pretended to be a doctor and Orochimaru came in, being all creeper-like and stuffs. He said his arms were dying and that he always kept a manbitch handy. Then another creeper liek, emerged from the shadows and scared the crap outta me! But that's beside the point. It's illegal to impersonate a doctor; I did that; go fuck yourself. :D Have a nice day~

-x-

"Remind me again why we're in the scariest part of town?" I said nervously, glancing out the limo window.

"Because the 'scariest part of town' is home to the Akatsuki's official hangout," Itachi replied simply, continuing to drive deeper and deeper into the home of gangs bangs and muggings and other horrific things like that.

"And why are we going to the Akatsuki hangout if all I need to do is drive super fast?"

"Because the members of Akatsuki are rich and therefore have incredible cars that will mind-fuck you."

"Oh."

-x-

"HOT DAMN YOU WERE RIGHT! I'M GETTING MIND-FUCKED RIGHT NOW."

"Told you."

I stared at the underground garage beneath the what-looked-like-a biker bar. But in actuality, it was a pimped out night club for the members of Akatsuki to chill and lounge around in.

The bouncer in the front had a unibrow and bushy mustache. He stared at me for a moment, then glanced at Itachi, then stared at me some more before breaking into a grin.

"HELLO THERE," he had bellowed to me, "WELCOME TO THE AKATSUKI HANGOUT. FEEL FREE TO LEAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS IN THE SUGGESTION BOX ON THE BAR BY FILLING OUT A COMMENT CARD. AND THE NUMBER ONE RULE OF THE AKATSUKI HANGOUT IS, OF COURSE, TO HAVE FUN!" And he just would NOT STOP SMILING.

So I eventually started smiling too…

What can I say?

Jacque's smiles are contagious.

But anyway, back to the cars.

"Wait," I shoved a hand in Itachi's face, "are you saying that I can pick any car I want and drive it at X miles per hour and possibly crash it?"

"Sure."

"Now we're talking!"

I ran around in circles throughout the garage, peering into the windows of various cars.

"I bet I can guess whose cars these are," I boasted.

"Go for it."

"The orange Lamborghini is Pein's, the indigo 650i BMW with cranes on the sides belongs to Konan, the super sexy Harley Davidson is Deidei's, the…" I trailed off.

Then I gasped.

"WHO OWNS THE GOLD PANAMERA PORSCHE COVERED IN VARIOUS CURRENCIES FROM AROUND THE WORLD?" I screamed.

"Ah. Good eye. That belongs to Kakuzu. He is the Akatsuki money handler. He also has an incredible taste in cars. You should have seen him five years ago. He bought an original Delorean. But he sold it for an outstanding price after fixing it up a bit."

"A… Delorean? HE MADE IT WORK?"

"Yeah."

"DAMN, THOSE THINGS ARE KNOWN FOR THEIR HORRIBLE QUALITY. JOHNNY CARSON'S NEWLY BOUGHT DELOREAN BROKE DOWN RIGHT AFTER HE DROVE OUT OF THE CAR DEALERSHIP."

"So I've heard."

"Sakura wanna drive Panamera please!"

"Go find Kakuzu's key rack in the back."

I raced to the back of the garage and scanned the several key hooks until I saw "Kakuzu" etched above a hook full of keys. I grabbed the one that said "Moneymobile" seeing as no other car present could be properly named the Moneymobile as the Panamera was.

"Let's go for a drive," I grinned, unlocking the beautiful car.

-x-

LAKSHGO;WNREAI4209WAEGIPO2340GVA THIS FEELS SO FLIPPING GOOD.

Sweet baby Jesussssss…

Guys. That's what she said.

FORGET THE PERVINESS! RELISH IN THE SPEED OF 87 MILES PER HOUR!

"Uh… Sakura?"

"WHAT?"

"Check your rearview mirror," Itachi said simply. I glanced at the mirror and groaned. Familiar blue and red lights flashed from behind the beautiful car I drove in.

As I pulled over to the shoulder of the parkway, I grunted an annoyed, "Shitsicles."

I watched the cop make his way to my window and gesture for me to roll it down. When I did so, the officer, who looked about 29 and very cute, frowned.

"Ma'am, do you have any idea how fast you were just going?" he asked calmly, taking the good cop route.

"Oh my lucky stars, I was so in the moment I didn't even realize I was DTF!" I exclaimed, putting on a fake drawl to my words.

The officer's eyes bugged out. Itachi snorted.

"Ma'am," the cop coughed out, "are you even legal?"

I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Itachi glare at the officer as I retrieved my driver's license from my infamous purse.

"Well, I'm not, but he sure is!" I grinned, pointing at Itachi.

If Itachi and the officer had been drinking water, they would've done a spit take. Which they kinda did, but they just lacked the actual water.

The officer closed his eyes for a moment before looking tiredly back at me.

"Look. I'll let you off with a warning. It's been a long day. Just don't do it again," he said, shaking his head at me. Then he walked back to his car.

"Sakura, do you even know what DTF means?"

"Of course I do! It means 'Driving Too Fast'!"

Itachi slapped his palm to his forehead.

-x-

19. Drive fast… REALLY fast.

I think that 87mph counts as 'really' fast. Just sayin.

Oh yeah, and I told a police officer that I was DTF. Itachi acted as if Driving Too Fast wasn't what DTF stands for. Silly Itachi.

-x-

Cherry597 has entered chatroom.
SexayIn0 has entered chatroom.
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H0TSTUFF has entered chatroom.

Cherry597: OMFG guys let's meet up at my place in an hour!
H0TSTUFF: Bitch, why should I?
Cherry597: Because, you Sasuke-loving ho, I'm done with numbers 1-19! I need to spend some "quality time" with my besties.
SaxayIn0: You lie! That's not possible! You couldn't have done it all in three days. YOU'RE LYINGGGGG.
Cherry597: Bitch, please. I'm just that cool. Didn't you suspect something when I broke into the PA office and blasted "Party Rock Anthem" and made everyone shuffle?
WhiteEyes: Sakura-chan, you said that you and the Akatsuki had taken over the PA room… what was that about? Aren't they a dangerous gang?
FannyGurl: Hinata, be a little perverted for once. It's obvious that our dear Sakura here is fucking them all.
Cherry597: AM NOT!
PandaHead: Uh huh. Sure.
Cherry597: I'm not fucking them ALL. Maybe… just…one…
SexayIn0: OMG SAK, YOU DIDN'T.
Cherry597: I'm not saying ANYTHING unless you all come to my house in an hour.
SexayIn0: Ho. Say the word and I'll be there in a heartbeat. This is some juicy stuff. I wanna know what happened for everything else naughty on that list… ;D

Cherry597 has left chatroom.

PandaHead: Guys… I think I'm going to have to ask out Neji… FML.
WhiteEyes: That means… I'll have to ask out Naruto-kun! I don't think I can…. Dx

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-x-

"BITCH, OPEN UP THIS DOOR. RIGHT NOW. AND TELL US WHO YOU ARE FUCKING," I heard Ino scream as she banged on my front door.

I ran to said door and swung it open to invite my besties inside. They rushed in, somehow closing the door in the process, and occupied every available seat in my living room.

"Spill!" Karin shrieked gleefully.

"Well, it all started when I needed a car with a sunroof…" I began, handing out the copies of the filled out list.

-x-

"…"

"…"

"…"

"So…"

"…"

"Why aren't we with Sakura-chan?" Deidara burst out. Itachi twitched as he turned the page of his magazine.

"Because she had to spend some quality time with her friends," he replied simply, turning another page.

"BUT I'M HER FRIEND!"

"I'm talking about her friends who like men–" Itachi paused, staring at Deidara.

"Her friends who like what?" Deidara asked, his voice dripping with venom.

"Her friends who have periods."

"Oh."

"…"

"Mad awks, much…"

-x-

"OH MAI GAWD, YOU SLUT!" Karin screamed.

"DON'T JUDGE ME," I yelled back.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'DON'T JUDGE ME' YOU FUCKED ITACHI ON A BED THAT IS NOT EVEN TWENTY FEET AWAY FROM WHERE I AM SITTING. AND FROM WHAT YOU SAY, YOU DID SOME PRETTY KINKY STUFF IN THAT BED!" Karin wailed.

"WHY ARE YOU SO DRAMATIC? YOU LOVE SASUKE-KUN ANYWAY."

"YEAH BUT ITACHI IS SO FUCKING HOT."

"…"

"…"

"I know, bitch."

"Sakura! I can't believe you befriended that bastard who tried to kill Lee!" Tenten bawled.

"How could I not? He has bone marrow cancer. I'm no heartless bitch like some of us," I retorted, glancing at Ino.

"Whatchu lookin' at, ho?" Ino snarled, shielding her choco-pie.

"Nothing…"

"Sakura-san, I hope you realize that by talking with us, you just completed the list," Hinata piped up.

I paused, staring at the shy girl.

"Oh my Kami, you're right."

-x-

20. Spend some quality time with your best friends

Must I really write about this? I invited the girls I consider best friends over to my house and told them ALLLLLLLL about what I did the past three days. :) And NAO I AM DONE. PRAISE KAMI.

"Conference call time!" I sang, dialing several different numbers into my daddy's old work phone. Ino, Temari, Tenten, Hinata, and Karin crowded around me quietly.

"WHO DA FUCK IS THIS."

"Oh hiiii Hidan!" I grinned.

"Oh. It's YOU. The bitch I buried yesterday."

"Yah. So imma put everyone in Akatsuki that I met on conference call so hold on, kay?"

"Whatever."

"SAKURA-CHAN, UN!" a new voice screamed.

"OMFG HI DEIDARA!"

"Sakura. Do not yell so loudly," Pein grumbled.

"Why not, Pein? You too tired from fucking Konan all day long?"

"WE DID NO SUCH THING!"

"Sure, Konan. I believe that." I rolled my eyes.

I signaled to my friends with a three sign, indicating we had to wait for three more people before we could really begin.

"Sakura? Do you have any Red Bull? I've been having this odd craving ever since we went camping…"

"Sure, Sasori! We can go buy some later!"

"Great. I heard that Red Bull gives you wings!"

"Dumbass," Hidan grunted, "that's just a saying."

"SAKURA HOW COULD YOU?"

"Madara! There you are! I was starting to wonder whether you'd answer or not…"

"I THOUGHT ABOUT LETTING YOU GO TO VOICEMAIL, AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO ITACHI!"

"What Sakura and I did is none of your business, Madara," I heard Itachi interject smoothly. I blushed slightly.

"Okay. Well, now that we're all here, I'd like to say a little something."

"Go ahead," Pein said calmly.

"So you all know that I had to do that crazy list in order to escape my friends wraths and stuff? All in three days?"

"As I recall, today is the third day," Sasori pointed out.

"Yes it is. So I wanted to call all of you up and say thanks a bunch for helping me out. I just finished the twenty tasks and am free from my bitchy friends [insert glare from said friends, disregarding Hinata, because I don't think she can glare for her life]. I couldn't have done it without you guys… so thank you."

"AW SAKURA-CHAN YOU ARE SO CUTE! UN!"

"You're welcome," Pein said softly.

The rest of Akatsuki followed with their "you're welcome" s soon after. Except Itachi.

"It was my pleasure. I would do it again any time, any day," he purred at last.

"ITACHI, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!" Madara screamed mournfully.

"Oh and by the way, I have a couple bonus tasks that maybe we can do together sometime," I added nervously, because maybe they secretly hated me and only did all that stuff because Itachi bribed them.

"Sakura, un, I think I speak for everyone when I say 'We'd love to'," Deidara said warmly.

-x-

Whew! Chapter 4 (I think?) is finally done! :D And you know what that means…

ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO!

Well, that's assuming you guys don't want to read the bonus chapter that includes those bonus tasks (cameos from Kisame, Kimmy-kun, and Tobi!)….

Whatevs. We shall see. :)

Reviewwww~

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