(Scene: The old lady's apartment. Chandler is absolutely bored, and Ross seems to be enjoying himself)

Ross: Yes! I remember that Thanksgiving!

Old Woman: You made the best deviled eggs this family has ever seen.

Ross: Oh come on, stop it.

Old Woman: I should give you my recipe for them, so you can try it out next year. Let me go get it out of the kitchen.

(leaves)

Ross: Isn't she sweet?

Chandler: I'm sorry did you say something? It's hard to hear you when 18 cats are in heat.

(she returns with two cookies and the recipe)

Old Woman: I thought you boys might like a treat. (hands one to each of them)

(Ross starts eating it and Chandler opens his mouth to take a bite.)

Old Woman: If you see any hairs on there just pull them out. Sometimes Fluffy gets curious.

(Chandler automatically drops the cookie.)

Chandler: Well I think we ought to get going.

Ross: Yeah Matthew's probably right. Thank you again for the cookies.

Old Woman: It was nothing hun. (Chandler and Ross start heading for the door) Now you two take care of yourselves.

(They are out in the hallway when Ross gives her a hug. She tries to hug Chandler but he refuses)

Woman: And David, make sure to send me Christmas pictures.

Ross: I will.

(she says goodbye and shuts door)

(there's a moment of silence)

Ross: Oh no! We never got a table!

Chandler: I think I'd rather eat on the floor.

(Scene: Joey is sitting on the couch still, eating mashed potatoes. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting next to him.)

Phoebe: (talking to Rachel) You don't have any idea where it might be?

Rachel: (sighs) No.

Phoebe: You could always tell Ross that Joey ate it.

Rachel: (looks at Joey) That, he might actually believe.

(Chandler and Ross enter from hallway.)

Phoebe: You were gone for almost 2 hours! Where have you guys been?!

Chandler: A giant litter box.

Rachel: Okay? Did you ever find a table?

Chandler: No.

Ross: What should we do?

Rachel: Oh we're just going to eat on the coffee table.

Chandler: The coffee table that's been here the whole time?

Rachel: Yeah.

Chandler: Excuse me, while I wallow in self-pity.

Joey: (finishes the bowl) Now that was a workout. I don't think I have room for anything else.

Monica: (calling from kitchen) Okay, Dinner's ready!

Joey: Let's do this!

Monica: (enters with a bowl of yams and sees the empty containers on the table) Where's all of the food? I put out the whole meal.

Joey: That wasn't part of the taste test?

Monica: NO! Joey! I can't believe you ate everything!

Ross: You ate everything?!

Monica: Why didn't you guys stop him?!

Rachel: We thought you had everything in the kitchen.

Chandler: Ross and I spent two hours with Old Lady Farts-A-Lot and this is how we're thanked?!

Phoebe: I'm sorry, but only people who bring back tables get to talk.

Ross: Well at least we have the turkey.

Rachel: (Gasps) The turkey!

Joey: No turkey!??

Chandler: How could you forget a turkey?

Monica: That's it. I am so hosting Thanksgiving next year.

Phoebe: Man, this day just keeps getting worse and worse. First Rachel loses her ring..

Ross: (to Rachel) You lost your ring??!!

Rachel: Techniqually I misplaced it, but yes.

Joey: What, this ring? (pulls out a ring from his pocket.)

Rachel: Yes! Joey, thank you! Where did you find it?

Joey: It was on the counter next to the sink. I saw you take it off and put it there.

(everyone glares at Rachel)

Monica: Why didn't you say anything?

Joey: I got distracted. And when I remembered again you had brought me food..

Rachel: Why did you think we wanted you to eat it?!

Joey: You told me I was an official taste tester!

Ross: How could you eat two meals, and still be hungry for a third?

Joey: Ross, please.

Rachel: So what are we going to do?

(Scene. Time lapse. The gang is sitting around the coffee table eating Chinese food.)

Ross: Nothing says Thanksgiving like lomein and fried rice.

Chandler: Yes, the traditional feast of the Pilgrims and Indians.

Rachel: Guys, I'm so sorry this didn't work out as planned.

Monica: And I'm sorry that I tried to fix the food you cooked.

(Rachel looks at her)

Monica: Egg roll anyone?

(Mike enters)

Everyone: Mike!

Mike: Happy Thanksgiving! Sorry I'm late. I brought some extra bread rolls..but I see you've taken the oriental route.

Ross: Take a seat.

Mike: (sits) When Phoebe told me that you were having Thanksgiving here I was honestly surprised. I figured with it being the twins' first, you'd have it your house Monica.

(Monica glares at Rachel)

Rachel: Fortune cookie?

Monica: (opening cookie and reading it) "Bad luck will come to those who deserve it."

Chandler: What do you know? You've finally experienced a true Bing Thanksgiving.