(Scene: The old lady's apartment. Chandler is absolutely bored, and Ross seems to be enjoying himself)
Ross: Yes! I remember that Thanksgiving!
Old Woman: You made the best deviled eggs this family has ever seen.
Ross: Oh come on, stop it.
Old Woman: I should give you my recipe for them, so you can try it out next year. Let me go get it out of the kitchen.
(leaves)
Ross: Isn't she sweet?
Chandler: I'm sorry did you say something? It's hard to hear you when 18 cats are in heat.
(she returns with two cookies and the recipe)
Old Woman: I thought you boys might like a treat. (hands one to each of them)
(Ross starts eating it and Chandler opens his mouth to take a bite.)
Old Woman: If you see any hairs on there just pull them out. Sometimes Fluffy gets curious.
(Chandler automatically drops the cookie.)
Chandler: Well I think we ought to get going.
Ross: Yeah Matthew's probably right. Thank you again for the cookies.
Old Woman: It was nothing hun. (Chandler and Ross start heading for the door) Now you two take care of yourselves.
(They are out in the hallway when Ross gives her a hug. She tries to hug Chandler but he refuses)
Woman: And David, make sure to send me Christmas pictures.
Ross: I will.
(she says goodbye and shuts door)
(there's a moment of silence)
Ross: Oh no! We never got a table!
Chandler: I think I'd rather eat on the floor.
(Scene: Joey is sitting on the couch still, eating mashed potatoes. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting next to him.)
Phoebe: (talking to Rachel) You don't have any idea where it might be?
Rachel: (sighs) No.
Phoebe: You could always tell Ross that Joey ate it.
Rachel: (looks at Joey) That, he might actually believe.
(Chandler and Ross enter from hallway.)
Phoebe: You were gone for almost 2 hours! Where have you guys been?!
Chandler: A giant litter box.
Rachel: Okay? Did you ever find a table?
Chandler: No.
Ross: What should we do?
Rachel: Oh we're just going to eat on the coffee table.
Chandler: The coffee table that's been here the whole time?
Rachel: Yeah.
Chandler: Excuse me, while I wallow in self-pity.
Joey: (finishes the bowl) Now that was a workout. I don't think I have room for anything else.
Monica: (calling from kitchen) Okay, Dinner's ready!
Joey: Let's do this!
Monica: (enters with a bowl of yams and sees the empty containers on the table) Where's all of the food? I put out the whole meal.
Joey: That wasn't part of the taste test?
Monica: NO! Joey! I can't believe you ate everything!
Ross: You ate everything?!
Monica: Why didn't you guys stop him?!
Rachel: We thought you had everything in the kitchen.
Chandler: Ross and I spent two hours with Old Lady Farts-A-Lot and this is how we're thanked?!
Phoebe: I'm sorry, but only people who bring back tables get to talk.
Ross: Well at least we have the turkey.
Rachel: (Gasps) The turkey!
Joey: No turkey!??
Chandler: How could you forget a turkey?
Monica: That's it. I am so hosting Thanksgiving next year.
Phoebe: Man, this day just keeps getting worse and worse. First Rachel loses her ring..
Ross: (to Rachel) You lost your ring??!!
Rachel: Techniqually I misplaced it, but yes.
Joey: What, this ring? (pulls out a ring from his pocket.)
Rachel: Yes! Joey, thank you! Where did you find it?
Joey: It was on the counter next to the sink. I saw you take it off and put it there.
(everyone glares at Rachel)
Monica: Why didn't you say anything?
Joey: I got distracted. And when I remembered again you had brought me food..
Rachel: Why did you think we wanted you to eat it?!
Joey: You told me I was an official taste tester!
Ross: How could you eat two meals, and still be hungry for a third?
Joey: Ross, please.
Rachel: So what are we going to do?
(Scene. Time lapse. The gang is sitting around the coffee table eating Chinese food.)
Ross: Nothing says Thanksgiving like lomein and fried rice.
Chandler: Yes, the traditional feast of the Pilgrims and Indians.
Rachel: Guys, I'm so sorry this didn't work out as planned.
Monica: And I'm sorry that I tried to fix the food you cooked.
(Rachel looks at her)
Monica: Egg roll anyone?
(Mike enters)
Everyone: Mike!
Mike: Happy Thanksgiving! Sorry I'm late. I brought some extra bread rolls..but I see you've taken the oriental route.
Ross: Take a seat.
Mike: (sits) When Phoebe told me that you were having Thanksgiving here I was honestly surprised. I figured with it being the twins' first, you'd have it your house Monica.
(Monica glares at Rachel)
Rachel: Fortune cookie?
Monica: (opening cookie and reading it) "Bad luck will come to those who deserve it."
Chandler: What do you know? You've finally experienced a true Bing Thanksgiving.
