"Mr. Rattmann!" Doug looked up from the diagrams he'd been working on.

"Professor, how are you?"

Professor Lucia greeted him with a handshake. "Good, good. I just wanted to let you know that I'm getting another assistant. Not replacing you, of course. Just figured you could use some help. A year behind you. I was thinking you could train 'em. Granted, they're a Chemistry major instead of Engineering, but I know for a fact you're skilled in both."

So that was how it started. The following day, Doug was preparing the lesson for Professor Lucia's Scientific Engineering lecture when he heard the door open. "This is Lab Four, right?" Doug was surprised to hear that the timid voice behind him was female, but, out of respect, kept the feeling to himself.

"Yes, it is." When he turned, he saw what could have been the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. Her brown hair was pulled back, as was required in a Laboratory, and her green eyes scanned him up and down.

She took a few steps toward him and looked deep into his eyes before she smiled. "Doug. Doug Rattmann." The sound of his name being issued through her lips set his heart aflame.

"How do you..."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a wallet. From inside emerged a whithered piece of paper, which she handed to him. When he unfolded it, a child's drawing of a bird was beginning to fade. "Cassandra...?"

She blushed and smiled as she put the picture away. "I'm kind of going by Cassy now."

"That makes sense." Said Doug. "Cassandra is just a little girl."

She laughed. "Well, that's not exactly the case anymore. When they told me I'd be working with someone who would be getting their doctorate's in a few months, I never could have imagined..."

Doug longed to embrace her, to feel her soft hair on his clean-shaven face, but he restrained himself. "You came back. Didn't you like California?"

"Well," She began. "We didn't stay there long. My dad packed us up and brought us to Sweden within the year. But it wasn't so bad. I didn't have any friends to say goodbye to."

"Really? Doug asked. "You had no trouble approaching me."

In the florescent of the lab, Cassy's eyes sparkled in the same manner in which they had the moment Doug had first seen her. "That's because," She chose her words carefully. "No one quite... intrigued me as you did."

"What do you mean?"

"You were always so sad, yet never wanted help. So lonely, yet never wanted to speak. And then," She gingerly placed her hands on either side of his face. "There are those eyes. Strange, yet captivating. Almost magical."

Doug took her wrists gently, as if any pressure at all would shatter them, and removed contact with that which he felt he would never be worthy of. "There is no magic. It's all in your head."

"Even so," She grasped his large hands in her small ones. "The mind is an amazing thing. Sometimes, if you tell yourself something enough," She leaned in closer, closer still. The warmth of her breath dissolving his worries. Her voice was only a whisper now. "It becomes true." So close now, just one more inch-

Don't flatter yourself...

The unwanted voice startled him and caused him to drop two things- the book he accidentally knocked off the table, and the small orange bottle the flew out of his pocket. He snatched up the bottle before she could and shoved it back. "I- I have to go."

"Doug, I'm sorry. I-"

"No." He pleaded. "Please, don't be. It's just..." He shook his head and hurried out the door. Cassy watched him go, then picked up the book he'd forgotten, read the title, and her heart reached out to him. The name of the book was Art Therapy.

Doug had a private dorm, as he'd requested. He took his medication and looked at himself in the mirror. The blue of his eyes reflected his fear, his shame, his outright desire to be happy for once in his sorry life. But he knew it was in vain. The schizophrenia could take him over. He had no idea what it could drive him to do. I love her so much. That's why she can't know. No one can ever know. In his grief, he sat at his desk to try and calm down. He took out a drawing pad and pencils, and it was then that he realized what he was missing. The book!

It was not the book that really got to him. One can always buy a new book. It was what was inside it.

Cassy, in her curiosity, had begun to flip through the pages. There were numerous methods of coping with tragedies from basic depression to the death of a family member. He's an Engineering major, She thought. Why would he have a book on psychology? Unless something's wrong... She got to a section titled "Dealing with Mental Illness". Ordinarily, she never would have even considered the possibility, but the fact that there was a paper marking the page concerned her. When she looked at it, she immediately understood why he'd left in such a hurry. She held the prescription for the anti-psychotic to her chest and wished for his well-being.

Doug knew he was caught. All those years of keeping his secret, only to have it fall apart all at once. There was no doubt in his mind she'd looked through it. He buried his head in his arms, all of his regrets coming into view. His dorm wall, covered with various sketches of scenes from his life, seemed to leer at him, reminding him of all his wrongs. Aggravated with himself, he grabbed his notebook and began writing anything that came into his head.

All this time and no one's ever cared. Why should they I'm nothing special. It's so hard. And I'm scared.

I'm insane? Ha! You don't know the meaning of the word! But aren't I? There is no magic it's all in your head. This.

This is all in my head. She looked at me. Looked into me. And it hurts. I love her so much it hurts. And I hurt her.

But I kept from hurting her more, didn't I? If she ever knew. But now she will know. I've ruined everything. I'm a failure.

Just look at me. That look in her eyes- those beautiful eyes!- that was shame. Shame and fear. Was she

afraid for me or herself? Answer me that. You don't understand. I need her she is the only thing I want

in this world. But she doesn't need me. She's better off without me.

Doug's head shot up when the phone rand. He didn't know who would be calling this late at night, but answered it anyway. "Hello?"

"Doug!"

"Uncle Johnson? What's wrong?"

"Doug, you have to come home! Your mother-"

He was so devastated that he almost dropped the phone.