Damian
"Damian grab the register card from Arran love ring up these folks who have been patiently waiting"
We were barely through the doors of my mum's restaurant Bellissimo Pizzeria when she yelled to me over the rowdy costumers. Seconds later she was yelling orders at some of her other employees. It's the last thing I wanted to do after spending two hours running a field but there was no point in arguing.
I bet Prince Liam didn't have to slave like this. Lavinia shock her head as she went to find a table for us. Sighing I scanned the crowd for my cousin Arran shouldn't be too hard to find him he just dyed his hair neon pink and shaved the sides. Yet I could barely see above the heads of people drinking and shouting as they watched a rugby match on TV. Finally I spotted him grabbed the key and hurried to the register.
"Good afternoon Mrs. Packard how are you?"
"I'm doing well thank you how are you?"
"Same ma'am busy but well"
"Good to hear young man I hear you got into the school you've been dreaming of" "Thank you ma'am it feels great but the real work is yet to start wish me luck that will be 30.95"
Customer after customer I raced between the register and the soda machine to fill up drinks almost twenty minutes passed before I could head over to Lavinia who had already ordered for us.
"Yo Damian my boy what's good mate?"
I raced over excited to see our friend Romar J'aversion who had been vacating in the states.
"How was the states Brah?"
"Excellent man excellent we saw the Empire state building, Elsie island, Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Disney World, man this world is so huge it really opened my eyes Brah, I need to settle down focus on school cause there's so much out there to explore if we don't take our education seriously we ain't never gonna get out of this small town"
"What's wrong with this town man?"
"The Parliament is cray over here man they don't give a damn about us little folks all they care about is their own arse" look around D were barely living above poverty most of us can barely afford food, a roof over our heads our parents bust their arses everyday only to have Parliament take what little we have" "Don't get me started on our queen and king they sit on their spoiled arse and watch us die slowly each day they don't give a rat's bum about us" "We gotta help ourselves pay attention in school get amazing grades find a proper job make that dough"
"Well said Romar maybe you can talk some sense into your foolish mate here"
Mum glared at me as she patted Romar's shoulder.
"Aw Mum don't start with me"
"Start with you child I never finished you just refuse to hear me you got big dreams child but your foolish if you think you can achieve them you think I enjoy what I do getting my arse up at four am every morning to slave over a hot stove, prep all this food clean the equipment, do inventory, than wait on people for 12 hours everyday only to stay up late closing never mind all the things I do for your ungrateful behind"
"You think a 13 year old would be able to see clearly and appreciate all the sacrifices I make be a man get an education and find a decent job so maybe one day he could pay back his mama, No your too busy being blinded by city lights your name on a marquee"
"Their not foolish dreams Mum I have real talent"
"Yea and you think every other struggling artist didn't think they had real talent?" "You know what their all doing now?" "Look on every corner in every big city their sleeping in tents, garbage bags their the queens alright"
"So what mum so it wasn't their fate it doesn't mean I won't make it every dream starts with someone brave enough to dream and every success starts with someone willing to go beyond the dream someone not afraid to work their bum off" "I don't care if I go without food, I'll wear the same dang clothes day after day I just want to preform and no one is going to stop me"
"Maybe if you spent a little more time believing in me instead of judging and condemning me maybe you would see I have actual talent" "Don't go fooling yourself either mum we all know you never spent a pound to help me get anywhere" "I did it all Mum I spent the hours studying, practicing, learning I got thee bloody scholarship not you so don't go taking credit for nothing"
I spun out the back doors of the restaurant and ran up the steps connecting to our flat. Slamming my bedroom door I let out a scream as I tore off my jersey and dirty shorts going into my shower thank god I had a bathroom that connected to my room I wouldn't have to see her all evening. Who was she to tell me I would never make it? To deem my dreams foolish and unrealistic?She never even came to see me preform not once. It's sad really why have me if she didn't even want anything to do with me?
Maybe if I had a dad things wouldn't be so bad between us. Nothing was calming me down and dwelling on these thoughts weren't helping. Only one thing would so I picked up my sticks sat at my drums and started to warm up. I'm an over thinker I analyze to much I worry which leads me to panic to fear which ends up making me sick. When I play the drums though everything becomes back-round noise. I started with some simple beats than I loosened up and started playing some more complicated rhythms.
It takes a lot of concentration to keep it all flowing smoothly both feet and both arms have to be in sync. Finally I started a song by Avenged Sevenfold feeling loser I really let it go the whole street was probably hearing me now good for them they should all get to know me because one day I'm going to be famous and these bleeding tossers would be wishing they supported me back when.
My heart started to calm down my tension loosened and my smile was back. I pictured myself on the stage at the Royal Albert hall selling out arenas. Maybe I would be in a band, maybe I would be solo either way I would rock. My voice filled the room as I started singing. I could hear the critics reviewing me in my head "Man look at Grant going his arms are like lighting" "His voice is on fleek"
In a way it seems
There's no one to call
When our thoughts are so numb
And our feelings unsure
We all have emptiness inside
We all have answers to find
But you can't win this fight
When I realized how late it had become I moved to my bed feeling tired all of a sudden. I was calmer now but there was an emptiness inside. I was starting to understand that all these years of hoping that one day mum would come around were just years wasted in vain for whatever reason she had a deep dis-plain for artists. Flipping through the channels on telly I came across a news report on the royal family at some charity function.
Princess Eleanor looked adorable in a light blue jumper her light brown hair flowing to her shoulders spinning across her cute dimples. Her gloves matched her dress I bet they cost more than my whole closet full of clothes. Prince Liam looked dashing in his suit what was it Alexander Mcqueen? I had no idea I was rubbish when it came to fashion. I just noticed how the queen looked radiant she was pretty smoking for someone in her late forties, her arms around her daughter laughing when a reporter asked her for a comment she talked about her beautiful Eleanor was and how much she loved her and believed in her.
I bet they gave everything to those kids, Robert was so handsome and tall his suit looked like a Ermenegildo Zegna Bespoke okay maybe I knew a little about fashion. Yeah I bet they wanted for nothing no reason for them to feel empty. Turning off the lights I closed my eyes as the doubts crept in once again. No music to block them now.
Could I really make it?
Did I have what it takes?
Would I be accepted?
What was my destiny?
Where would I go if I didn't make it?
Why wasn't my dad around? Why was mum so cold?
Why were some of us born into poverty but had so many dreams and apparitions and some of us born into money and had no ambition dreams or drive?
Music: Welcome to the family by Avenged Sevenfold no copyright intended.
