October 21th -
Lazy day and I intend to keep it that way. I shall slack like I've never slacked before.
October 22rd -
I want to sink through the ground, I don't want to exist anymore.
I hate Rachel.
Finn is my boyfriend.
I slept with Puck and I think Santana knows.
Everyone is pretty much ignoring me.
Took a test, waiting for the results. Please don't let it be anything colorful. I'm down on my knees, oh god please don't, i can't.
I just can't.
October ?
Stupid good for nothing unholy little plus sign, I loathe thee.
How did this even happen? Daddy's little girl, president of the celibacy club. Good girl gone bad, indeed. What am I supposed to do?
I tried so hard with Rachel and now she's going after Finn? Why is my life equal to a trainwreck. Sure, I'm obviously the pressed lemon in all of this, but what about her? She unpressed me, did she not? So what gives her the right to go after what's rightfully mine?
Maybe I'm not green jello over the fact that she's into him, maybe it's because of the simple fact that it actually could happen and then I'd be the one pushed to the side and soon forgotten about.
I know who I'm going to tell now and hopefully it will change things, hopefully it will make a difference.
October ?
My day in a nutshell.
Me: I have to tell you something.
Rachel: Whatever it is, it can't be any worse than all those obscene images of me in the bathroom.
Me: That was me, actually.
Rachel: Oh?
Me: Yeah, about that, I'm really sorry.
Rachel: It's okay. Now what was so important?
Me: I'm...
Rachel: You're what? Pregnant? -insert sarcastic laughter here- Wait, oh my god you are, you're pregnant! Who's the father?
Me: If I tell you it's not my boyfriend, promise not to judge?
Rachel: Q, do I even? K, let me rephrase that, I only do so when necessary. If it's not Finn, may I ask who then?
This is when I bursted into tears and it's also when she comforts me.
Rachel: It's okay. oh. Please don't cry. You're okay. It's going to be okay. I've got you.'
Perhaps we didn't have to be best friends, it was a relief, to know that she was there for me, no matter what, she had me. It gave me those butterflies in my stomach.
