I got to Brandon's place and he waited for me at the door. I just run into his arms and he held me.
''What happened?''
''I had a fight with Stef.''
''Oh, I'm sorry.''
''She is just too controlling. She showed up at Robert's house and…I can't stay there. I have to leave.''
''No! You will not. You have few months until you turn eighteen. And few more until college. Be patient. If you leave now, you will suffer the consequence. And we even don't know if you can stay with Robert or you go back t to the system. Please, be patient. College and your birthday are around the corner. Don't leave so close to the finish line.''
''You left!''
'' I left for a different reason, and you know them. You are not in the same position.''
He kissed me and pulled me closer.
'' Please. Don't do anything you might regret.''
He held me and we were just cuddled up in silence. I felt safe with him. I felt so happy to be in his arms.
''If I stay, we can't have this.''
''Yes, we can. We just have to hide until college. After that we have all the time to figure this out.''
''What do you mean?''
''I got into NYU. Full ride.''
''And music?''
''I changed my mind.''
''But it's your dream.''
''Dreams change.''
He smiled and kissed me.
''I don't think you should give it up.''
''I am not giving up anything. I can always play or write, but with a career, I only gain. I can live of my work and have a normal job.''
''You? Normal job?''
''Yes, normal job and a house…where we can have our kids and a dog and ice cream for dinner.''
I started laughing.
''Wow! You have it all mapped out.''
''I do…''
''I love it…especially the ice cream part.''
''I know! It's so awesome!''
I kissed him and we made love again. We spent entire day in bed just enjoying our time and closeness. Around eight I got dressed and decided to go home.
''Go and patch things up with moms.''
''I will try.''
''Love you!''
''Love you more B.''
When I got home, Stef and Lena were in the living room. They were glad to see me.
''We have to talk. And I need you to listen and let me finish.''
They nodded and held hands. I have no idea what they expected to hear.
''I am sorry for what I said today. I know you did a lot of me and for Jude and I am very grateful for all you gave us. You gave us home, family and safety we haven't had in a very long time. I love you very much, but you need to understand that I love my dad and that family too. I need you to share me with them. I am your daughter, but I am also theirs. If you want me to stay and feel like I am at home here, you need to respect my need for them. Robert is my dad, my only biological parent. I come from him and I need him. I love him very much, he is my dad. I need you to respect that we need each other and want to be in each other's lives. Having him in my life, doesn't mean I don't love you. I need you to understand that.''
They were silent for few moments. Lena was the one to speak first.
''We are just afraid you will leave us.''
''I am not going anywhere… But if you stop me from seeing my dad the rest of them and spending time with them, you would be forcing me to rethink my choice. He respected I picked to live with you. Please respect that I picked to have them in my life.''
Stef got up and just hugged me.
''I love you. You are our daughter and every chance of losing you scares me.''
''I will not go anywhere until you give me reason to. Please, don't do what you did today. OK?''
''Ok.''
We didn't completely make up, but it was a good start. When we get to the better place, we will try to talk about Brandon and what happened. I went to my room and there was Mariana waiting for me.
''What was that today?''
''An argument…''
''Why?''
''I was at Robert's…''
''Oh…''
''Yes…''
''And where were you today?''
''Out.''
''With AJ?''
''What's with all these questions?''
''I need to ask you something…''
''What?''
''Do you love him?''
''AJ?''
''Yes…''
''Hm… I care about him.''
''And Brandon?''
''I believe you said you don't want to know about us.''
''I don't but I need to know.''
''Why? So you can tell me it is disgusting?''
''So I would understand.''
''Understand what?''
''Why you are back with him…''
I looked at her in surprise and shock. What should I do or say now?
''Where did you get that idea from?''
She rolled her eyes and shook her head.
''I notice things. I see how you smile and all and you don't spend any time with AJ. Only people I see you with are that guy that helps you with Kyle's case and Brandon…Soooo, knowing your history and the way he looks at you too… The answer is simple. You and B are an item.''
She was right…
''Mariana…''
''I will not tell anyone…I don't like it, but I have to accept it…But please explain. I want to understand.''
''It's complicated to explain. I spent my entire life searching for scrapes of safety and someone who would get me. I never imagined it would be my foster brother. I felt that instant connection, I had a feeling I could tell him anything. He protected me, he listened to me and he made me feel safe and very wanted, needed and beautiful. Liam raped me, and it marked me. In some way Brandon marked me too. I learned how to love and to love myself. Sleeping with him was not dirty or wrong. It was…''
I started crying…
''It was all it should have been. He was gentle, he was so caring, he told me how beautiful I am and that I am worthy. He made me feel worthy. I wanted to die after we ended it. It was so difficult to see him as a brother. I had no problem accepting Jesus as a brother, but Brandon… He could never be my brother. I loved him.''
''And now?''
''We really tried to fight it. He and I made a pact that we will be ok and get over what we had, but… It's so hard. I am in love with him. I love him so much Mariana.''
''And AJ?''
''He is ok, but…''
''Not Brandon?''
''Yes, he is not Brandon. But that's not the only problem. He is…He doesn't get me. Brandon was always there for me to support me and help me solve something. AJ is not. He simply doesn't see things same way I do.''
Mariana came to my bed and took my hands.
''Please, don't leave us. I will cover for you, but please don't leave us. Stay in our family. It is so weird to think of you and Brandon as a couple, but I will make sure to cover for you and all you need. Just stay with us. Moms will not take it well.''
''I am not going anywhere. I promise.''
''Good! Now, what will you do with AJ? What about Courtney?''
''They broke up… She had to end it because of Malcom. His dad...her ex , has some pit bull lawyer who is really focused on making two of them bad guys in the story. So he had to leave. It's not good for her to be in a relationship with a high school student.''
''So, why is he not back home?''
''He doesn't want to come back.''
'' So he lives in that motel I followed you to?''
I couldn't believe what I heard. Why would she do it?
''You followed me?''
''I had to know where were you going. You were so angry, I had to make sure you were ok and not doing something stupid.''
''Mariana!''
''What?!''
''I can't believe you followed me. It's crazy.''
''No, it's not. I told you, I had to make sure you were ok and not doing something crazy… I guess that is off the table now…''
Now I had to roll my eyes at her.
''Come on! You are sleeping with your brother. That is crazy and I am even crazier to support that.''
''He is not my brother!''
''There is a piece of paper and entire room downstairs that disagrees with you.''
''I hate you right now!''
''I know, I love you too.''
She got off my bed and went for the door.
''Say hi to my crazy brother and tell him I miss him very much.''
I rolled my eyes at her.
''Come on, like you won't call him in a minute.''
''Ok, fine. I will tell him.''
It took him just two rings to answer.
''How did it go?''
''It went pretty well. I think we reached some agreement.''
''So, you are not leaving home?''
''Not yet.''
''Good to know. I am very happy you stettled it all.''
''Not completely, but it's a start.''
''It's a good thing.''
''B, we have a situation…''
''What sort of situation?''
''Mariana followed me today.''
''Oh, so she knows about me living in the motel?''
''And about us.''
''Oh…''
''Yes…''
''Is she going to tell?''
''Not for now.''
''Good.''
''Good?''
''We have time to figure it out and made all sorts of back up options.''
''For what?''
''Bad reaction.''
''Oh, I don't think they should know before college.''
''I agree, but we must talk about ''what if''. We simply have to be ready.''
''I know.''
I was silent for a moment.
''B, I am scared.''
''Of what?''
''Their disappointment.''
''Me too, but I can't pick them every time. It's not first time we are here. We spent more than a year trying to figure things out. I am not sure I could go back to where we were.''
''Me too. ''
There was a knock on the door.
''I must go. Talk to you later. Love you!''
''Love you too Callie.''
I hung up and put the phone down.
''Come in!''
Lena came in and took a seat on my bed.
''Callie, I have to ask you something.''
''Yes?''
''Did you know Brandon and Courtney broke up?''
''Yes, I did.''
''When did you find out?''
''Few days ago. Why?''
''Mike was there and she told him Brandon moved out. We don't know where he is.''
''I…''
''Please tell us.''
''I can't tell you without his knowledge and permission.''
''Please Callie, we must get him home.''
''Why? He doesn't wat to be here.''
''What?''
''He doesn't want to come home.''
''Why?"
''Because you accused him of pretty much being the next Liam.''
'"I never said that.''
''But you never prevented Stef from calling him that way.''
''What he did was wrong.''
''No, you are wrong.''
Lena gave me a surprised look.
''HE didn't do anything, WE did it. And I don't regret it…Not for a moment.''
''Callie?!''
''I do not. How could I? He gave me perfect first time. He made me feel good and I can't reghret that. No matter how you and Stef are angry or think it is wrong. I can't feel bad about it.''
''Are you saying?''
''What?''
''Would you do it again if you had a chance to go back in time?''
''Honestly?''
''Yes…''
Lena and I feared my answer equally as I did. What I say next will either make us or brake us as a family.
''I am not sure you are ready for me to be honest, but I will be anyway. Yes, I would. I would have slept with Brandon and I would have told him how much I love him earlier than I did. I would have fought for us and moved in with my dad just not to see him this hurt as I did. I broke his heart, I failed him many times, but so did you and Stef. I am sorry, but this is the truth. Now, you know it.''
''Oh, wow!''
Lena sat stunned on my bed and couldn't say a word.
