Author's Note: WARNING: This chapter contains Francis being…well, Francis.


Chapter 3: Roderich, Start Your Engine!

The next morning, Roderich was woken up at 8:00 with a jolt by none other than Gilbert and Ludwig, who were jumping up and down on the bed in the guest room.

"C'mon, Roddy, get up!" Gilbert shouted at the top of his lungs.

'Typical Gilbert behavior,' Roderich thought.

"Roddy, Roddy, get up, get uuuuuuuuuup! It's time to goooooooo!" shouted Ludwig, who now started to shake poor Roderich until the young man was dizzy.

"Alright, I'm up! Stop torturing me already," said Roderich as he got up and put his glasses on.

"Whaddya putting those on for?" Gilbert asked. "Like I said before, you don't need 'em, Rooooooddykiiiiins."

"And I already told you that I like wearing these. I look plain without them," said Roderich. "And stop calling me Roddykins! Only Elizabeta is allowed to call me that, GilGil," he continued, mocking Gilbert with the pet name that the boy hated.

Gilbert growled under his breath at the embarrassing pet name that Roderich had given him when he was 2 and left to get changed. Ludwig followed him.

After the boys were dressed, all three of them went downstairs, where they saw Elise dressed and getting ready to leave.

"Oh, boys, I didn't think you'd be up yet," Elise said when she saw her sons and nephew. "I've gotta go to work now. You guys have fun at the convention, okay?"

"'Kay, Mommy," Gilbert and Ludwig said at the same time.

"Yeah," said Roderich. 'An anime convention….' he thought nervously. 'What if she finds out that we never went?'

"'Bye, guys," Elise said happily, hugged the boys, and went off to her job.


An hour later, Roderich, Gilbert, and Ludwig went outside. They had to round up some people to form a team so they could go on their quest for the Grail.

"So, Roddy, who are ya gonna round up for the quest?" Gilbert asked.

"I don't think we're going," said Roderich. "It's dangerous."

"But Roddy, we have to!" said Gilbert. "God told us to!"

"Yeah! And if you don't do as God says, Roddy, you'll be in BIG trouble!" said Ludwig, hugging his teddy bear.

"Oh, and if God told you to jump off the roof of the palace in the North, would you do it, LuLu?" Roderich said sarcastically, using the pet name that Ludwig didn't like so much.

"N...N-No..." Ludwig said.

"That's not the point, Roddy!" Gilbert said, annoyed at his older cousin. "The point is that God gave us a task, and we have to do it! Plus, my dad's been gone longer than he was supposed to be, and I'm getting worried!"

He turned to walk away, and then stopped and spoke to Roderich again.

"Oh," said Gilbert, "also, if you don't go on this quest, then I'll tell my mom about what happened that brought the whole house down 7 years ago, haha!"

After saying that, Gilbert walked off to go find some people for their team. He soon met up with Francis and Antonio, his two best friends.

"Oh, okay, I'll go!" Roderich called to his cousin.

"7 years ago?" Ludwig asked, looking up at Roderich. "What happened 7 years ago? What brought the house down 7 years ago?"

"Uh...n-n-n-n-n-n-nothing, Lui, nothing at all," Roderich lied. He didn't want to tell Ludwig what happened back then.


"Francis! Tony!" Gilbert exclaimed. He ran over to his friends.

"Hola, amigo," said Antonio and bit into a churro. He offered one to Gilbert. "Want one?"

"Sure!" Gilbert said, taking the churro and eating it. "Yummy!"

"Salut, mon ami," said Francis, who was, unknown to Gilbert and Antonio, taking his clothes off. After he took his clothes off, Francis started to sing. C'est un monde nu, nu! he sang, running around...that is, until Roderich saw him and caught him.

"Good God, Francis, put your clothes back on, you imbecile!" Roderich exclaimed while covering Ludwig's eyes.

"Roddy, I can't see," Ludwig whined.

"You don't want to see Francis right now, Lui," said Roderich. He turned to Francis and said, "Put your clothes back on now!"

"Francis!" Gilbert and Antonio shouted, carrying Francis' clothes with them.

"Put these back on!" Antonio said, throwing Francis his clothes.

"Oh, okay," Francis said, and went behind a bush to get re-dressed.

"Why doesn't anyone here want to be naked? Is nakedness so wrong?" he asked when he came back from putting his clothes back on.

"Because it's just wrong," said Roderich, now uncovering Ludwig's eyes.

"Yeah," Gilbert said. "Anywho," he continued, turning to his friends, "Roddy, West, and I were charged by God with a sacred quest. We need to form a team to go seek and bring back the Holy Grail. What do ya say to coming on this quest with us...especially with the awesome me?" Gilbert said, pointing to himself as he finished.

"Yeah!" Antonio said excitedly.

"Um, okay," said Francis a little nervously.

"Great!" said Gilbert happily.

Just then, Ludwig ran off to talk to his best friends, Feliciano and Kiku, and Elizabeta came out of her house.

"Lizzie!" said Roderich, running over to his girlfriend. "Listen, there's this quest that God gave me and my cousins last night."

"A quest?" asked Elizabeta.

"Yes," said Roderich. "Us three have been charged with the task of seeking and bringing back the Holy Grail, because it was, well, stolen."

"But everyone knows it was stolen," said Elizabeta. "And that's why most of the men in the village-even our fathers-are out in the world right now. They're looking for it."

"I know that," Roderich said, "but God, for some reason, has put me and my two little cousins in charge of finding and bringing back the thing. And He said that we need to form a team to help us in our quest. Will you join us, Lizzie?"

"Sure, Roddykins!" Elizabeta said excitedly. "Just let me go get a frying pan."

"For what?" Roderich asked, confused as to why his girlfriend would need a frying pan on their journey.

"For fighting enemies, of course!" said Elizabeta. She ran back into her house and came back out just as quickly with a cast-iron frying pan.

"Thanks, Lizzie," Roderich said, happy that he might have at least one sane person on this trip to talk to.


Ludwig was talking to Feliciano and Kiku, his friends' older brothers standing nearby.

"Um, guys," said Ludwig.

"Yes?" said Feliciano.

"What is it?" Kiku asked his friend.

"Um, there's this quest that me and Gilbo and Roddy have to go on, and we need to form a team to do it," said Ludwig while looking down at his feet.

"What kind of quest?" asked Kiku.

"God told me and Gilbo and Roddy last night that we have to go and find the Holy Grail and bring it back here," Ludwig said, now looking at his friends.

"Ve~, the Holy Grail?" said Feliciano.

"Yeah," said Ludwig. "Um...do you guys wanna be part of our team?" he asked.

"Sure!" said Feliciano.

"Of course," said Kiku.

"Yay!" said Ludwig.

Just then, Yao and Lovino came up to the three 6-year-olds.

"Hey, potato bastard, I'm coming along too!" yelled Lovino. "My little brother's not going anywhere without me!" Because of what he called Ludwig, Lovino earned a hit on the head from Yao and his wok.

"Lovi, don't call little Lui such mean names, aru!" said Yao. He turned to the boys. "I'm gonna go, too, aru," he said. "I'm not missing out on this! And I'll have my trusty wok with me!"

"Awesome!" Gilbert said, running over to Ludwig and his friends. "So, Yao, Kiku, Lovi, and Feli are coming, too?"

"Yeah, Gilbo," Ludwig said happily.

Roderich beeped the car horn.

"Come on, guys!" he called. "Time to go!"

"'Kay, Roddy," Gilbert and Ludwig said, running over to their cousin. They climbed in the back seat. Elizabeta was in the front passenger seat, and the Honda and Vargas brothers climbed in the back as well.

Just before they were about to leave, however, three voices were heard coming towards them.

"Wait!" said Alfred F. Jones, his younger twin brother, Matthew, and older brother, Arthur, trailing behind him.

"Bloody hell! Al! Wait for us!" Arthur shouted.

"Yeah, Al, wait up," said Matthew.

"C'mon, you guys are so slow!" Alfred shouted, already in the back of the car.

Arthur and Matthew, along with their pet polar bear cub, Kumajirou, climbed in the back with Alfred.

Next came the three Braginski siblings: Katyusha, Ivan, and Natalia.

Then came Feliks Lukasiewicz and Toris Lorinaitis, and then Vash Zwingli.

"Okay, everyone," said Roderich. "Let's go look for the stupid Grail." He started the car and drove out of Hetalia Falls, out of Suujiku.

"It's not called the Stupid Grail, Roddy," said Alfred. "It's called the Holy Grail! Dummy!"

"Shut up, Al," said Arthur, and took a wrapped burger out of his jacket pocket. "Here," he said to his little brother, handing him the burger. "Eat this and shut up."

"YUMMY!" Alfred shouted, and scarfed down the entire burger.

'This trip is gonna be a nightmare,' Roderich thought despairingly.


Author's Note: In this story, Vash is 18, Feliks, Toris, Natalia, Alfred, and Matthew are 5, Katyusha's 10, Ivan's 7, Yao's about 12 or 13, and Lovino and Arthur are 9. Kiku and Feliciano are both the same age as Ludwig.

Salut- Hello (informal) (French)

C'est un monde nu, nu!-It's a naked, naked world! (French)

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