"Is that too tight?" Leliana questioned as she tugged on the sash of the Inquisitor's formal uniform jacket. Serrine shook her head. She was embarrassed to need help dressing, but Leliana was kind enough to offer before she had to ask. Leliana carefully rolled the sleeve of her jacket arm and pinned up the extra fabric. Serrine turned to look at herself in the floor length mirror in the corner. It was only two days ago that she could move from the sitting room where she was hold up for days, in and out of consciousness, to the room that was intended for her. She was originally offered a large suit in the other wing where all the nobles were staying, but she decided to stay in the same wing as the rest of the Inquisition. Her hair was long and wild around her, and she was still becoming accustomed to seeing herself without part of her arm. Leliana was finished pinning and preparing to leave.
"Would you mind braiding my hair?" Serrine asked, stopping Leliana before she could exit. "I want to look as presentable as possible." Leliana nodded and gently turned her around. Leliana took the brush in her hand and began brushing. Serrine closed her eyes, enjoying the tingling feeling relaxing the muscles on her head. Leliana smiled at seeing Serrine's head drop back a little.
"Serrine. I want to say thank you." Leliana remembered Cassandra's words and held true to her own. "We asked the impossible of you and you rose to the challenge. You are amazing and I am glad to have known you."
"Is this your way of saying goodbye?" Serrine asked, desperate to hide the sadness in her voice.
"I suppose. We all are going to walk a different path after today." Leliana kept brushing in steady even strokes.
"We are still fighting an invisible war so our paths will cross again."
"Nothing under the Maker's sun is promised a tomorrow." Leliana's words weighed heavy on Serrine in that moment.
"No goodbyes. I hate goodbyes." Serrine reached back and touched Leliana's hand, stopping her brushing motion. "You are my family. All of you are my family. No matter what happens, that will never change." Leliana walked around to face Serrine.
"Family," she agreed. She wrapped her around the Inquisitor and squeezed lightly. When she pulled away she saw tears in Serrine's eyes, which tempted to summon her own. "Before I forget," she started, clearing her throat "I will be giving you a raven. My smartest raven. You can train her to come when you call."
"You would part with your smartest raven?" Serrine asked.
"If it will keep us in contact, then of course." Leliana smiled and returned to Serrine's hair. Leliana placed the brush down and began to braid. Though Serrine's hair was very thick and wavy, Leliana's hands moved quickly expertly wrapping the hair around itself. In no time at all, she was pinning Serrine's braid up. "The raven will be delivered to your room later." Leliana's hands moved quickly around Serrine's head, putting any stray hairs in place. "If you say my name and release her, she will always come to me."
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was distracted. Being human distracts me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Cole had burst into the room his hands flying around in the air.
Leliana bowed and nodded at Serrine, giving Cole a concerned look as she passed. Serrine turned to Cole and stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.
"You suffered. Pain, sharp, shooting. 'I think it's killing me.' You were afraid, afraid to die and I was…busy." Cole kept his head down, but he was nervously shifting where he stood.
"Cole, stop, please. What is this about?"
"I should have been there. I should have been there to talk to you, to comfort you. I am in love and it is distracting. But you are my friend. I should have helped."
Serrine smiled, trying to ease Cole's mind. "It all happened so fast. You're here now. Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong."
"Can you forgive me?"
"Cole, there is nothing to forgive. You are here now, and you were always there when I needed you. I couldn't ask for a better friend."
Cole's worried expression relaxed and he managed a grin. Just then his body twitched and convulsed. Serrine jumped back. His eyes blacked over and a deep distorted voice emitted from him.
"His pads hit the ground running, searching for her. He must be quiet so she does not see. His heartache is too loud so he remains far away in the shadows. He watches over her, protecting his heart."
Serrine stood watching. Cole blinked, his eyes returning to normal and his body becoming still. Serrine's mouth hung open in surprise.
"What's wrong?" Cole said, his tone calm and free.
"What did you just say?" Serrine asked, keeping her distance from him.
"I asked what's wrong."
"No before that."
"I asked if you forgave me." Serrine watched him suspiciously. Whatever just happened, it was about Solas. The Dread Wolf was following her, watching over her. She wondered if he was close by now. "Protecting his heart." Those words threatened to toss her emotions into an abyss, spinning wildly out of control. Today was too important for her to lose focus. Her breathing was rapid and her heart was racing. She inhaled all the air she could, held it for a few moments, and released. With that, she could feel calmness returning.
"They are ready for you." Commander Cullen appeared at the door, snapping her attention away from her thoughts. Cole left, walking past the Commander and smiling. Cullen noticed Serrine looked slightly pale, and as though she was frightened. "Don't be nervous," he offered, moving into the room, closer to her. "Whatever you decide, we will be with you."
Cullen escorted Serrine through the corridors of the palace to the hall where the Exalted Council was waiting for her. He presented her with the writ of the Inquisition, which was delivered to him by an Inquisition guard. She took it in her hand. Cassandra had it all this time. Serrine had never held it before and it was very heavy. It settled in her grasp like a giant weight. Her eyes shut tight as she took a deep breath. The heavy doors creaked and whined on their hinges as they opened to the large hall. Cassandra dressed as Divine sat between the nobles from Orlais and Ferelden. Orlesians and Fereldens alike fill the hall floor and she felt all their curious eyes concentrated on her as she walked in. She kept her eyes focused on Cassandra's face in the center of the Council. She stopped next to Josephine who kept her gaze directed at the council as well, not daring to look at Serrine. Josephine knew that no matter what, everything was about to change. She was unsure if she was ready for it, but it was happening regardless. When she saw that Josephine was determined to avoid her gaze, she faced the council and began.
"You know what this is," she shouted, her voice booming and echoing throughout the hall. She raised the writ high in the air. "A writ from Devine Justinia authorizing the formation of the Inquisition. We pledged to close the breach, find those responsible, and restore order. With or without anyone's approval." Serrine paused. She could feel a large, painful lump forming in her throat but she breathed deep and continued. "We have fulfilled that pledge, and now the war is over, for most of us. It is time for our soldiers to sheathe their swords and go home." She turned to look back at Cullen who grinned and nodded. "To all who served. Thank you." She scanned the room and met the eyes of Cassandra, Varric, Dorian and Bull. "It has been an honor. Effective immediately, the Inquisition is disbanded." Serrine turned to Josephine, holding the writ out to her. Josephine was flushed and fresh tears glistened on her cheeks. Serrine offered a slight smile and a gracious nod. Josephine returned it, taking the book from the Herald, the Inquisitor, Serrine. Talking exploded in the hall as Serrine exited.
"That was very brave, Inq—" Cullen stopped himself. "That was very brave Serrine. It was an honor to serve with you as well." He bowed.
"Can you do something for m – ?"
"Anything." The haste of his response caused him to shuffle nervously.
"Ask everyone to gather in the courtyard later. We should say our goodbyes there. Have few drinks. One last toast." Serrine's words were starting to hitch on the lump in her throat, but she managed a slight smile. Cullen could hear the slight crack in her voice, and he saw the tortured sadness in her eyes. He desperately wanted to embrace her and tell her everything would be alright, but he could not.
"Consider it done." Cullen turned on his heel and started off to carry out this last request.
"You did well my friend." Cassandra's voice floated through the doorway behind her. Her voice had become such a comfort to hear, Serrine realized in that moment just how much she would miss it.
"I'm still getting accustomed to seeing you as the Divine," Serrine uttered, staring at Cassandra's headdress.
"I only want you to see me as Cassandra, your friend." Cassandra smiled.
They walked together to the balcony overlooking the horizon and the glowing scar the breach left behind in the sky.
"I have secured the Chateau d'Onterre in the Emerald Graves," Cassandra said handing Serrine a rolled piece of parchment. "It is my gift to you. So you can live there and be well." Cassandra's voice sounded slightly strained, but Serrine had never seen the Seeker cry and she doubted today would be the day.
"A demon-ridden Orlesian chateau in a forest of graveyards. You spoil me," Serrine jested. Cassandra rolled her eyes and made a disgusted noise at Serrine's sarcasm. "Thank you, Cassandra. You didn't have to do that." Serrine's tone was serious as she held tight to the parchment.
"You're welcome." Cassandra inhaled deeply, closing her eyes and lifting her face to the sun. "Amazing isn't' it. That we are all still here," Cassandra sighed. She bent forward placing her elbows on the ledge. "It is because of you. Yes, there were many others, but you led them, you led us." Cassandra turned. "I am going to miss you."
"I'll miss you too, Seeker." Cassandra rolled her eyes at Serrine's sarcasm at calling her Seeker but smiled shortly after. The two women looked out on the horizon, wondering what the future would hold.
"There you are!" Varric's voice was full, cheery and welcomed.
"Were you looking for us?" Serrine asked turning to face him.
"Actually, I was looking for the Seeker, but you are always a welcome sight." Varric winked and grinned slyly.
"Ugh, what do you want Varric," Cassandra sneered turning to face the dwarf as well.
"Careful Seeker or I'll take back this gift." Varric held out his hand with the newest chapter of his book.
A small squeal escaped Cassandra's lips and she hesitated to reach for it. Varric kept his hand out. Cassandra whisked the book away from him quickly examining it in her hands, her eyes wide with excitement. Her dislike for Varric had diminished greatly over the past several years, especially since she had started reading more of his writing. She would never admit it, just like Varric would never admit he only continued writing to make her happy.
"Thank you, Varric," she said in a soft voice. Her face relaxed with delight.
"You're welcome Seeker," he said, turning to leave. He stopped and looked back at Serrine. "Don't forget to come visit me in Kirkwall sometime."
Serrine smiled after him, working hard to push her sadness away. "I am trying to have everyone gather in the courtyard. One last time," she said to Cassandra, who had started pouring over the first few pages.
"I will be there, Serrine."
Serrine left the Cassandra alone on the balcony to read and made her way back to her room to prepare to leave.
Cullen made haste through the halls of the Palace, stopping to alert any in the Inquisition of the gathering later. He could hear the conversations of many wondering what was to come. He thought about his own future, but he forced himself to remain in these last moments. He feared that if he did not, he would regret it. He also had to find Harritt to obtain a very special gift. Cullen alerted every scout to the gathering in the courtyard. He stopped at the tavern to order drinks and chairs for the occasions, then passed the news on to Dorian who vowed to take it from there. He spent the rest of his time searching the grounds for Harrit. The Winter Palace's grounds were extensive and after several hours Cullen started to tire. He could not avoid the masked Orlesians stopping him every few seconds to barrage him with questions. He did his best to be polite and move on, but some of them were very persistent. He did not want to miss the celebration, but he did not want to miss his opportunity to give Serrine this gift. Finally, he spotted the back of Harritt's bald head with a peak of red mustache visible from one side.
"There you are!" he shouted. "Do you have it."
"Yes," Harritt replied, handing Cullen a small velvet box. "Came out better than I expected. I'm not usually good with small things."
"Thank you. The Inq-," he stopped to correct himself. "Serrine wishes for us all to meet in the courtyard for one last gathering."
"I'll be there," Harritt grunted, turning back to continue his conversation.
Cullen rushed away to the courtyard clutching the small velvet box tight. It was the coin his brother gave him before he left for Templar training. He kept it with him and though he was a faithful man, he always believed it gave him extra luck. He asked Harrit to fashion it into a ring. He wanted to present it to Serrine when saying goodbye. With everything that happened to him Ferelden's circle, Kirkwall, and the Inquisition, he partially believed that this lucky coin had worked its magic. He wanted her to always have luck and be safe. It was his small way of trying to protect her, whatever was to come next for her. He had agonized over trying to find some way to show her what she meant to him. He knew that after all this he would be in Ferelden. At the base of the Southron Hills on a plot of land secured by Cassandra. A sanctuary for former Templars looking to stop taking lyrium, and out their days in peace and comfort. He had it all worked out, and Rylen already agreed to come with him. He would help as many as he could, just as he was helped. He would also help her if he could if the ring could in any way.
While everyone else was preparing for the party in the courtyard, Serrine was packing, though she did her best to pack very little, as she could not carry much. She struggled to change herself into tunic and trousers, and even more to dress in her protective armor. She was thankful her boots were easy to slip on. She covered herself in a hooded robe. She looked in the mirror at herself. She was no longer the Inquisitor. In a few words, she had gone from being one of the most powerful people in Thedas to being an apostate. She reached for a large wooden box in the corner of the bed. A card with the words "I knew you would need it one day - Dagna" with was attached to the outside. Inside, was a lyrium powered arm replacement. It was intricately designed, with the ability to move with magic like a real arm. Serrine had a few days to practice with it and she was able to do most basic things now. She placed it against the remainder of her own arm and pulled the strap with her teeth to secure it tightly.
The raven that Leliana gifted her jumped around in the open window, flicking about and tilting its head. Its black feathers glistened in the colors of early sunset. Serrine tied a rolled piece of parchment to the raven and after whispering its destination gave it a pat on the head and opened the window to release it. Serrine secured a small satchel over her shoulder, left the room and made her way out of the back entrance of the palace. She took her horse from the stable, leading it towards the exit, looking back at the Winter Palace, soaking up the sight and imprinting it in her heart.
Serrine had requested her mount be tied to the stables in the rear of the palace. She believed she was alone when she pulled it out of the stable, walking it slowly to the gate.
"You're missing the party, Boss." Iron Bull came sauntering up to her, with his usual grin.
"Let me guess, Ben-Hassrath training, right?" She was rife with heartache and could only manage a half-smile.
"Not this time, I just happen to know my Boss well enough." He moved next to her, petting the mount on the head. She leaned her head against his large arm. They stood there for a moment together, silent.
"The chargers say they'll miss being Inquisition. I told them that we still are Inquisition," he pledged, looking down on her silver-blue tied up hair. "Do me a favor Boss?"
"Anything for you Bull," she replied, her voice just barely there.
"Don't forget that." He lifted her onto the mount and slapped the horse hard in the rear and they took off past the gates. Bull stayed until he could no longer see her.
The Inquisition, in its small traveling numbers, stood in the courtyard, awaiting their leader. Drinks were being passed, songs were being sung, and goodbyes were being said. Many lanterns burned in the evening light, filling the air with a light cover of smoke. They were no longer a band of misfits with an impossible task ahead of them, they were now a team that had conquered the impossible.
Cullen was drinking wine mindlessly as his eyes darted around the crowd looking for Serrine. Any flash of silver-blue set his heart racing, but so far it was just a scarf and the shining metal of one of the guard's armor. It had been almost an hour and the anticipation was making it hard for him to breath. Other people started questioning where their former Inquisitor could be. Just then, with a loud caw, Leliana's raven flew in, dropping the piece of parchment for Leliana. She unrolled it, scanning quickly for the important parts. Everyone pushed towards her in the crowd, wondering what it could be.
"Everyone Listen!" she shouted. The chatter quieted, all of them eagerly awaiting what Leliana was going to read. "It's from the Inquisitor, Serrine." Leliana cleared her throat and began.
"I am sorry that I am not here. By the time you get this message I will already be a few hours gone. My heart could not bear saying goodbye to you all. This is the only way I could manage leaving you, my family." Leliana paused, sadness overwhelming her. With a deep breath, she continued, "though the Inquisition was officially disbanded, I hope it will never be gone. The Inquisition was not Haven or Skyhold, it was not all the rifts closed or demons killed. It was all the brave men and women who came together hoping to protect the world. It was and always will be all of you. Being your Inquisitor was more than I had ever hoped for in life, and wherever my journey takes me, I will carry you all with me. I wish all of you the very best. Your ever faithful servant, loyal friend, and former leader – Serrine Lavellan."
Many of those listening were wiping tears away from their eyes. Cullen's heart sank to the pit of his stomach as he squeezed the velvet box tight. He would not get to give his gift after all. Dorian did his best not to look devastated and Bull wrapped his large hand around Dorian's. Cassandra bowed her head to hide the look on her face, and Varric patted her on the back. It was over. The breach, all the fighting, all the planning came to this moment. Their lives would be different now.
The hooves of her Dalish All-Bred hit the ground vigorously. Tears whipped off Serrine's face with the wind and broken sobs escaped her. Her sobs became louder and louder the more her distance from the palace increased. She no longer knew who she was without all of the people she left behind, and now she was alone with the task of searching for the answer. Losing Solas, losing her arm, and now losing the Inquisition all became too much for her. She buried her face in the horse's mane and lost herself in her sadness. She needed to feel it, to let it wash over her and consume her for a time. That was the only way to eventually move past it. She would survive this as she did everything else, by facing it head on and saying "do your worst."
