Hey guys! Update time. So before you read this, I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes. If you see the name Taylor I'm talking about Jude. I'm pretty sure I got everything but just incase. Please read & review! PLEASE
DISCLAIMER:I do not own 'Instant Star' or 'How I Feel' by Alexz Johnson or 'Here I Go Again' by Whitesnake
Chapter 4-Here I Go Again
Jude was instantly swarmed with paparazzi and reporters flashing cameras in her face and asking her millions of questions. "No comment!" She was so exhausted and just wanted to go home. But Darius had other plans. He had called Jude earlier to discuss some 'business' with her. He apparently wanted to get to work immediately. And going to work meant facing Tommy, seeing as he was her producer. Meanwhile…
Tommy walked into Studio A carrying his guitar with him. He set it down on the floor and began setting up. When he was finished Jude still wasn't there so he decided to work on his song. He still couldn't believe Darius was making her come into to work the same day she got out of the hospital. She needed rest. Oh well. Tommy carefully picked the guitar up and began slowly strumming the chords. Kwest silently opened the door and walked in. "Sounds good man," he remarked. Tommy just nodded and continued strumming. "I can't get the hook right," Tommy said with frustration. "So since when do you write songs alone that aren't for Jude's records?" Kwest inquired. "I'm just trying to make Jude see the light. Sh-she, she's sick man."
"How sick?" Kwest asked. He opened his mouth to speak again but Tommy interrupted, "She thinks she's fat or ugly. She thinks it's alright to hurt herself like this." Kwest looked at his friend. Emotions played all over his face. He had known Tommy for years but had never seen him feel so strongly for anyone, especially not one person. He really cared for Jude.
"Sounds to me like she needs a rude awakening." Kwest said quietly. Just then Jude walked in the studio. "Hi," she said avoiding Tommy's piercing blue eyes. "So, what are we recording today?" she asked. "Your choice," Tommy replied. "I have a new song I wanted to try," Tommy and Kwest simultaneously nodded.
"Its called 'How I Feel'" They walked into the recording room and sat down behind the soundboard. Tommy asked Taylor if she was ready, when she nodded he spoke into the microphone, "How I Feel take 1." The music began and Taylor's beautiful voice sounded through the headphones he and Kwest were wearing.
I know how this all must look
Like a picture ripped from a story book
I've got it easy
I've got it made
There's a golden road laid out before me
And everyone how they adore me
Like a diamond
In the sun
Did you just waste your breath
Asking me how I feel today
Or do you really want to know
CHORUS:
I'm completely unconnected
Constantly rejected
Like everything I've ever loved is coming down
I'm drowning in emotion
In the middle of the ocean
Never knowing when it's over and I'm going down
That's how I feel
I know I signed up for this game
Where everybody knows my name
Now they own a little piece of me
My happiness fell off the track
And I'd do anything to get it back
Give this all, I'd give this all away
Did you just waste your breath
Asking me how I feel today
Is that a place you wanna go
CHORUS
Then you see me
You say you don't even know me
Couldn't pick me out of a line now
The girl you know is so far-gone
And I'm in hiding
Living life undercover
Smiling face for the camera
I'm not long for this world
CHORUS
That's how I feel
Then you see me
Say you don't even know me
It was good, but weaker than usual. Tommy listened carefully and when she was finished, told her to go through it one more time. "Ok, were gonna mix, now take a lunch break," Tommy said, hoping she would get the hint to eat. "Sure," she said not looking at him. She had gotten the hint. She walked out of the recording booth and headed toward hospitality. She got a pack of crackers and actually ate a few of them. Tommy smiled when he saw she had eaten something. It was a small step, a very small step, but it was a step.
"Its… perfect!" Jude sighed. Tommy nodded his head in agreement. "You finally got that song down girl, and it is perfect." Jude smiled. Tommy smiled too. He was happy, the song was awesome and Jude had eaten something. Little did he know, she made a visit to the bathroom right after. There was a knock on the door and Karma entered. "Can we help you?," Jude asked. When there was no response she questioned her again. She had never seen Karma so agitated. "What's up?" Karma looked uncomfortable. "Umm, I need to talk to you, Tommy," she said uncertainly. Tommy looked at her questioningly. "Ok." He got up and followed her to hospitality. "Uh, I probably shouldn't be telling you this but I thought you'd want to know. After Jude came over here earlier she went straight to the bathroom. I followed her and listened at the door. Tommy, she was puking her guts out."
Tommy was surprised. He hadn't expected this. He was furious. "Thanks for telling me," he said through clenched teeth. He turned abruptly and glided towards Studio A, where Jude was.
"Tommy, wait!" Karma called after him. He ignored her and stormed into the room where Jude was quietly sitting thinking. She jumped up when Tommy violently pushed open the door.
"Tommy, what the hell! What's wrong with you!?" Tommy was infuriated. "You are what's wrong with me! YOU! How could you be so stupid?! You won't listen to doctors, me or apparently anybody else for that matter! For God's sake, Jude, what's it gonna take, tell me please so I can get the point across! I can't believe this! After everything you just went through and you're still throwing up everything you eat! God, how stupid are you!?" Tommy finished his rant and Jude stood there stunned with her jaw on the floor.
Finally she recovered and brushed past Tommy and out the door. "Where are you going?" he asked her. "I need to think, tell D I needed some time off." Tommy watched as she stumbled out the door.
He let her go. He walked into the studio and grabbed his guitar. Everyone was watching. "WHAT?! Get back to work!" He yelled. Everyone scattered. He walked out of the studio and drove home. He had a song to finish and a point to get across.
Jude ran all the way home. She stormed up the stairs and locked herself in her room with her journal. She began writing furiously. She eventually closed her journal and tossed it carelessly to the ground. Sadie came and knocked on her door.
"Jude, supper's ready," she called softly through the door. "I'm not hungry," she stubbornly replied. Sadie sighed. "Fine, but I'm going to leave you a plate in the microwave." Jude replied grumpily, "Whatever, I'm not gonna eat it." Sadie shook her head dejectedly and walked back downstairs. Jude grabbed her Ipod and randomly chose a song. The first song she listened to she had didn't know but the next song she sang aloud with. Loud enough for Sadie to hear when she walked past her door.
"And I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days, cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams. And here I go again on my own. Going down the only road I've ever known, like a drifter I was born to walk alone. And I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time," she sang.
Sadie continued walking to her room but stopped when she saw her dad. "Dad, do you know what's wrong with Jude?" Stewart shook his head. "I'm afraid not." Sadie looked back at Jude's door.
"I bet ya all the money in the world it was something Tommy did." Suddenly Jude's flew open. She looked ready to kill.
"Don't you dare drag Tommy into this! It isn't his fault every time I get upset! Even if Tommy has something to do with this, did you ever think that maybe it was my fault we got in an argument? I didn't think so! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT blame Tommy for all my problems! It is my fault I'm upset, beacause I'm an idiot! And Tommy didn't do anything but tell me the truth! So leave him alone damn it!"
She walked swiftly past them to the bathroom. When she came out they were both still standing there in shock.
"Ju-" Sadie began but was cut off by Jude. "No, don't say a thing." She walked back to her room and looked back at them.
"Don't call Tommy and piss him off, either of you," she said looking between her dad and Sadie. She closed her door and they heard the lock click. Sadie sighed soundly and walked back down the stairs followed by Stewart. They sat on the couch and started to watch 'The Texas Chainsaw Masscare:The Beginning.'
Jude heard people screaming downstairs and put her Ipod on the loudest it would go.
"Hey man. What's up?" Tommy asked. "I was just seeing how you were doing. You seemed pretty upset when you left G-Major today," Kwest respondeded walking past Tommy into his apartment.
"Make yourself at home." Kwest sat down on the couch taking in his surroundings. Tommy's guitar lay on the couch beside him and pencils lay carelessy on the coffee table. Balled up and wrinkled paper covered almost every surface.
"Still working on that song huh?" Tommy looked around.
"Yeah, how did ya figure it out?" he grunted sarcasitcally. Kwest rolled his eyes. "So, what happened?" he asked. Tommy moved his guitar and sat down on the couch beside Kwest and handed him a beer.
"I think I figured out what's wrong with Jude." Kwest waved his hand as a signal to keep going. "I think she's, uhh, umm," Tommy said.
"Man, spit it out already!" Tommy looked up at him.
"I think she's anorexic or bulimic."
Kwest choked on the gulp of beer he had just taken out. "WHAT?!"
"Yeah I know, that's what I thought."
"Does she know that you know?" Kwest questioned. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure when I blew my top she figured it out."
"Man this is huge. She needs help."
"I know and I'm gonna help her. I just need a little time," Tommy replied as he chugged down the rest of his beer. "Just a little more time."
