WARNING:
DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE DARK/ABUSIVE THINGS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, OKAY?! THIS IS SERIOUS!!
IT'S A COMPLETELY OOC FIC!!! AGAIN, IF YOU ARE NOT INTO SOME KIND OF THING, THEN PLEASE LEAVE THIS FIC IMMIDIATELY!!
DON'T FLAME THIS STORY, GUYS. I'M JUST BORROWING CCS CHARACTERS NAME BUT IT ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY ITSELFS.
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!
REAL LIFE IS CRUEL AND UNEXPECTED.
Theme song: Corrinne May - Shelter
I met a dark blue haired guy dressed in a dark colored suit as I entered the room. Rimmed glasses accented the features of his solemn face. He sat quietly with his head looking to the ground and hand pressed on his forehead.
"Wei?" I hesitantly ask him, not sure of whom the person might be.
Then he lifted up his head and faced me. He looked at me up and down through those rimmed glasses as though he was sizing me up.
"Kinomoto Sakura? You are Kinomoto Sakura, are you not?" He stood up from his seat and slowly approached me.
"Yes I am. Where is Wei? And what happened to mother? Where is she? This is her room right?" I just can't seem to calm down. I felt so nervous all over. I've never felt like this before, trembling and nervous.
"Okay, calm down! You need to calm down. Come on, sit down here and I'll tell you the whole thing, the whole crazy thing!"
What thing? What's there to tell? I had no idea what he was talking about. Did his car hit mother? Did he accidentally poison in her food? I was so nervous!
"What now? What crazy thing are you talking about? What did you do to mother?" I asked him in a confused tone.
"Just calm down Sakura, I'm Eriol Hiragizawa and I'm your fiancés best friend. We were… err, together last night..." He let go of my shoulder and went back to his seat.
"Yesterday when he came back from his business trip, he told me to prepare a crazy wild party with some naughty girls. We threw just such a party last night. Complete with girls, alcohol, condoms and all manner of naughty things. We even invited our friends to come over and enjoy the girls. And like always, we ended up with one of the girls in our arms the next morning."
"The whole thing was perfect until Aunt Yelan arrived and was shocked to find the mess inside his penthouse. But the worst was when she checked on Syaoran and caught him having sex with some girl. The shock was too much and Aunty just couldn't take it. Most likely it was a heart attack and now she will need a very long rest in order to get well."
"What did you say? A PARTY, HOW? Just… how in the world you could do that? God, you men just lusting for yourselves and making other people suffer. Where is your brain? Do you guys ever feel ashamed with the fact that YOUR BRAIN lost against YOUR DICK?" I lost my patience and burst out in anger at the stranger with dark blue eyes in front of me. I could see him trying to catch my hand and stopping my anger from exploding into something unexpected.
"Sakura, listen there's nothing you can change about that now! Shouting at me will not change anything. Now Aunty needs to rest and don't you dare let her know that you lost your temper just because this thing happened. She won't be happy to see you messed up like this." He said and lowered my hand down. Now for the first time I could see his honest blue eyes behind his glasses. It was true; he was trying to make the conditions better for us. It would be bad if mother knew I'd lost my temper like that.
"I know, I lost my temper, I just got pissed off at the fact that my stupid fiancé could be so selfish and careless about his mother's condition." I almost felt a few tears because of his kindness. I knew that he was Syaoran's friend, but he really is kind and has those gentle eyes.
My heart was telling me that Syaoran was pushing him to have the party even though he didn't want to. He must have matured earlier than Syaoran. I wish my fiancé was not as childish as Syaoran was, even with that handsome face and his money. Still his mind and heart are nothing more than a baby. Spoiled and egoistical, he's a real pain in the ass!
"I envy Syaoran for having such a beautiful, smart and caring woman like you Sakura."
I blushed at his comment but tried not to show it to him. I knew he was trying to seduce me in a informal way, but I successfully avoid this flirty conversation.
"You don't have to envy anyone just for having a girl like me."
With that, I left him alone and entered the room where mother was being treated.
I was surprised to see mother unconscious in the bed. Her flawless white skin had become pale and I wondered what had made her so helpless. Then I saw Syaoran sitting on the chair beside mother's bed, his arms folded and glaring at me.
"What are you doing here so early?" He asked me with a very low voice.
"I want to see mother, that's all!" I answered in a sharp voice.
He stood up from where he was sitting and walked towards me. I kept a safe distance from him by stepping backwards.
"You're lucky; she's been calling out your name. She just wants YOU to be beside her! Not ME! What the fuck is that? I'm her son and she didn't even say my name! Damn it!"
"Don't curse here! I don't want you to make it any worse! It was all your crazy idea to begin with, to throw some crazy wild party with girls and end up having sex with her? You guys think you are so damn smart!" I shrieked in a very low volume so I wouldn't disturb mother and other patients in the other rooms.
He put his face close to mine, giving me that cold glare with his hazel eyes. I was afraid at first, but it's no use to get scared because of his dirty eyes.
"What is your problem? You took my mother away from me! I've always been her favorite son! Even in my own family, I was her priority and not my sisters. Now you're here being so damn polite and all to her, just to steal my mother away from me? You want her that bad? You want her to be your mother? I know you want her to replace your dead mother! But not this way! This is the worst!"
My dead mother, which was something that I just couldn't tolerate! I couldn't let him talk insolently about my family!
I held my breath, ready to burst in out in anger. "STOP ACTING SO CHILDISH! I don't want mother to hear us fighting like this! It will make her condition worst!"
"So what, this is the worst, and it's all because of you being my fucking fiancé. You've become close to mother, that's why it is happening!! Admit it!! Without you here, everything would be fine!"
I tried my best to hold back my tears. I felt anger all over my body and I just wanted to slap his face with my hand!
SLAP!
"STOP BEING CHILDISH, I NEVER WANTING YOU TO GET ENGAGED TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
"BITCH, did you just slap me? Oh great, my dear fiancé dared to slap me! What makes you so high and mighty that you dare to do that? My mother would never ever touch me that way!"
"I will never say sorry for that! You deserved it!"
He suddenly grabbed my wrist and held it tightly, dragging me out of the room.
"Even if YOU were to say sorry, I would never accept it! You're not sorry; YOU HAVE TO PAY ME FOR THIS HORRIBLE MARK ON MY FACE!"
But I tried to fight back, struggling and trying to glue my foot on the floor so he couldn't drag me out. But he is stronger than I thought and he gradually managed to pull me out of the room.
"Stop, let me go! What are you doing?"
"I need you to SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"No! Let me go!!"
Eriol was surprised with what was happening between Syaoran and me. "Syaoran, where are you going? And what are you doing to Sakura? You're hurting her!" Eriol tried to save me; his hand was on Syaoran's shoulder trying to persuade him to stop being cruel to me.
Syaoran stopped and give him a death glare which froze Eriol so that he couldn't move any part of his body.
"Shut up, Eriol! What do you care? You don't know anything! Go home and fuck yourself!"
"Don't talk mean to Eriol, he's better than you at anything!"
"Tsk, you little bitch, you just can't shut the fuck up! You are so dead once we get home!" He punched me in the stomach until I couldn't stand. I coughed several times and felt limp. I couldn't talk back to him. The only strength left in my hands was just enough to hold my stomach in pain.
I could feel him lift my body so my stomach was on his shoulder and my face facing his back. My feet didn't touch the floor. I couldn't take the pain in my stomach and slowly I passed out.
~*~
Where am I? What is this place? I'm in the middle of a purple field.
Mom? Is that you mom?
"Mom? What are you doing here? Is this heaven?"
"Sakura, it's been a long time! How are you doing, my dear?"
"Mom, I've missed you a lot! It's been horrible lately... I..."
"Honey, I knew everything, even if you've never told me. It's all written on your small face."
"Mom…"
"How is your work? I've heard that you've were transferred to the main branch in Hong Kong?"
"Yes mom! It's harder than my previous job, but I'm getting there. Don't worry; I'll prove to everyone that I can do this!"
"Sakura, you don't have to prove anything to everyone. That just means you are being an egotist, and I know you won't be doing that, because you aren't that kind of person."
"But mom!"
"You know Sakura, you used to be a help to your friends when you were kids. You always offered to help anyone if they were in trouble. You always put your friends before yourself. I was very proud of you back then Sakura. I was proud of you that way, not the other way, being a workaholic with no friends and putting your work and professionalism before your kindness and honesty. I know your nature, and it's not that way."
"Mom, I know… it's all because..."
"Don't blame yourself Sakura; I know you can change this. You will become better. Help your fiancé to find the tenderness of love. He's not going to find that on his own and it's just the same for you."
"He's evil mom! He hurt me!"
"Is that why you want to hurt him back? As payback for what he's done too you?"
"Yes… NO! I mean, no… mom it's just… I..."
"Sakura, you can't use evil as your weapon to defeat his evilness. You have to use something in contrary. Like how you would use fire to defeat fire. It just makes it even worse. The fire will get bigger and blaze wildly."
Ah, I see now what I'm lacking. I can't keep things up. I have to surrender in order to win. Sometimes the loser is the actual winner and that's what I have to do with Syaoran.
Suddenly there was a fire surrounding us. The air wasn't fresh anymore and suddenly it became hot and stuffy. The purple field was now a scary place, like a burning land with no life. I had to escape from this. Why is this happening? Where did the fire come from?
"Sakura, I have to go. Remember, I will always looking out for you. I'm one of the stars in the sky. You are not alone honey." There were big white wings on her back and they carry her to the sky. I couldn't escape! I have to follow my mom, but I can't reach her! Help!
"Mom, don't leave me alone!! MOM!"
It's hot…
Something is hitting me below… and it's burning. It HURTS!!
What happen?
I could feel a hand grabbing my hip roughly. What is this feeling?
I slowly opened up my eyes and pressed my hand to the head. "…"
I looked at a big and slender body in front of me. What the hell was he doing? He was stripped and standing in front of me? Standing above my naked body?
"Wa... Wait... What are you doing?" I lifted my upper body so I could try to stop him from forcing himself on me.
"So are you awake now? It's too late honey; I broke your hymen already! I know that a virgin pussy tastes the best!" He said with a wide grin on his face.
Oh!
I could see a single blood stain on the bed sheet. I felt Goosebumps all over my body. I fought back by screaming and moving my body with all might.
"Ge... Get away from me!! Let me go!!"
His hands tightened around my hips and he forced his big thing inside mine. I shirked in pain but he kept his pace, not caring about the pain I felt.
"What didn't you enjoy your first time? You were enjoying yourself just now! You even moaned in delight when I kissed your lower lips, and when I nipped your ear. You were extremely hot and excited and even begging me for more. That's why I'm doing this!" I could see a devilish grin on his face. His hair was now messier that usual.
"You took advantage of me! I was unconscious for God sake! Let me go, Syaoran!"
"That's sweet, you calling out my name like that! Scream, Sakura! Scream more for me!"
He was going to rape me for real! Oh, my body was starting to response to his depravity. My body was starting to feel warm wherever he touched it. I had to stop this!
"No you sick bastard, let me go!"
"I won't! After all I'm your soon to be husband. Just admit it you've enjoy this just as much as I have! I'll fuck you until your pussy is sore!!"
"Let me GO! God damn, it hurts!"
I couldn't bare the pain inside me. It was like his big thing was tearing me apart. But he just kept pumping himself into me. Strange voices escaped from my mouth, against my will. I felt strange.
"SHUT UP! You deserve this! It's your entire fault that mother was hospitalized!"
"Please… let me… go." Tears starting to fall from my eyes from the pain caused by him! I couldn't stand it anymore!! It hurt like hell!
"It's your entire fault!! If you didn't let her come to my place, then she would have never ended up hospitalized!" He increase the pace, making me shrieking in pain.
"I... beg… you… Syaoran please let me go. You're hurting me…" It was true, it was hurting my insides. It was warm, but it hurt because he was so violent with me!
Then suddenly he stopped and glaring at me with a very cold eyes.
"Fine…" He let go of me and walked to the bathroom, closing the door. I heard a loud shower from inside the bathroom. "Now go away, before something bad happens again."
"What?" I got up from the bed with a blanket wrapped around me and I looking for my clothes. Then I saw Syaoran came out from the bathroom with towel around his hips.
"Get out of here! You're an eyesore!!" I was surprised when he shouted at me like that. I couldn't seem to understand what was inside his mind. I just quickly put my clothes on without caring about zipping it up, I ran away from his penthouse to my room, and locked it, afraid that Syaoran would come after me to beat me up again.
~*~
It has been a month and I didn't have time to call father. I wondered if father was busy with his work or maybe he believed that I could manage everything well here.
There is no way I would tell father about my being engaged to someone like Li Syaoran. Father always wanted me to get a boyfriend ever since I was like, twelve years old. But when I did have one, I couldn't seem to do the right thing. That boyfriend of mine kept bugging me to go out on a date, when I really wanted to do overtime at my part time job. He always wanted to go to the beach or on a picnic, and I really didn't have the time to go there. My part time job and my cram school are my priorities.
Father told me once, that I was being too serious in my young age and that it wasn't good for me. But I thought it was okay since I didn't really want to go out with my boyfriend. So I always put him after my work and study.
And now, being engaged to Syaoran Li was hell. Even thought it's been three days after that horrible thing he did to me, I still could feel his big thing in me. I have to admit, because of his violence towards me, I couldn't seem to concentrate on my work. Sometimes I only blankly stared at the computer for an hour, even though I had to submit a report an hour later. Or in the middle of some meeting I couldn't seem to concentrate on the subject, usually I would say some sharp words to make the meeting come alive, but nowadays I really couldn't do that.
The thought of Syaoran grinning in the middle of harassing me that night was always haunting me. I could feel his touch everywhere on my body, my below always ached like crazy if I started to think about it.
"Sakura, are you okay?" Rika asked right in front of my face.
We were in the middle of the cafeteria having lunch with Naoko and Chiharu as well.
"Eh?"
"You looked pale and dizzy! Maybe you should go home and take a rest." Chiharu said while her hand on my forehead.
"Thanks' but I'm fine, really." That was true. I didn't feel anything wrong with me, well maybe just a little dizzy but I really have so many reports and documents to do.
Chiharu suddenly dropped her spoon on the plate and it cracked loudly. "Im... Impossible!"
"What's impossible?" Rika staring at Chiharu in disbelieve.
"The director is heading in this direction!" Chiharu said and both Naoko and Rika turned their heads the same direction as Chiharu.
"No way Chi-chan, you're just excited about it! Maybe he just wanted to check around here, to see a chance for enlargement or renovation." Naoko looked nervous and stammered as she spoke.
"But look, he's smiling at me, again!" Chiharu said with a wide smile on her face. Rika sweat dropped.
"Chi-chan, don't look in his direction with that crazy fan-girl look. He'll cut your pay if you keep staring at him!!" Naoko was the only one to keep Chi-can in control.
"Oh yes!! I forget about that! I should keep my manners!!" she quickly straightened her back and smoothed her hair. She was now back to normal, but too normal.
I could see Naoko staring at me in disbelieve, she poked my hand three times. "Err… seriously, he's heading over here and he is now behind you Sakura."
"Eh?" I quickly turned around and I was quite surprised to see him standing behind me with a very fake charismatic smile.
"Excuse me, could you please let me borrow Sakura Kinomoto for a second?"
"Ah, Director Li, please take your time." Chiharu seemed to like Syaoran a lot. She has been staring at Syaoran all over. Geez, Chi-chan, you're married!
"Thank you."
Rika gestured to Naoko and Chi-chan to leave the table. Oh, I don't want to be left alone with Syaoran here.
"What do you want?" I ask him shortly.
"Mother wants us to see her together in her office now."
"Mother? Why not tell me herself?"
"Why not believe your fiancé? Should I take you there by force?"
I stepped back on his comment and walking towards Rika's direction.
"Girls, I'm sorry I have a sudden meeting with the board director. I'll see you later!"
"Oh, that can't be helped!" Chiharu looked disappointed to hear my information.
~*~
We were now standing side by side in front of the elevator. Once the elevator opened, he quickly got inside and held the door from closing. "Hurry, come in here!"
"You take the elevator?" I asked him from the outside of the elevator.
"Of course I do! Now hurry up, you're pissing me off!"
"I'll take the stairs." I quickly turned my back and headed towards the stairs, but Syaoran's hand stopping me from going anywhere. He held my wrist tightly and I couldn't move.
"What the fuck? YOU ARE GOING WITH THIS ELEVATOR!" He shouted at me loudly, hurting my ears as much as he was hurting my wrist.
"NO! I will take the stairs! And if you want me to take the elevator, then you have to take the stairs!" I pulled my hand back and put a dead glare on him.
"What the fuck is going on with you?" He said in disbelieve.
I'd rather take a thousand stairs than have to be in one elevator with him. Just thinking about it was making me sick.
"Fine, do as you like! I'm taking the elevator!"
I stomped my foot and took the stairs. Fifteen minutes later I reached the twentieth floor where mother's office was. I had to wipe the sweat from my forehead before going inside.
"You are LATE!!"
God, why do I have to see him here? Shouldn't he be inside mother's office? "And why are you here?" I finally asked, panting and wet with sweat.
"I'm waiting for you."
Waiting for me? He must be kidding me. There was no way he would act kindly towards me.
"Should I thank you for that?"
"No, I don't need your thanks what so ever. I was waiting here because if mother found out that we were not coming together, she'll start nagging at me like where is Sakura? And why didn't you wait for her? I know my mother; she would definitely ask me those stupid questions and will praise you to death instead! With this, I'll tell mother that you are the one who was late and not me!"
"How smart, just what I would expect from young master Li!!"
"I don't need your compliments, it's all rubbish!"
He opened up the door and we entered the room. I could see mother sitting in her wheelchair.
"Mother, I'm sorry for taking so long. What would you like to talk to us about?"
"Quit that sugar Syaoran! You just want me to expect nice things from you, but nothing really comes out from you in the end. You disappoint me son!"
I was surprised at mother's words. Mother's face looked hard and angry. I believe that Syaoran had been here before me, looking at his hard face. It looked like they had a quite strong argument before calling me here.
"I know mother, I'm sorry."
"Correct your behavior! First, you threw a sex party and slept with another girl when you knew that you're already engaged. Second, you lost an almost billion dollar opportunity because of no preparation beforehand. You know how disappointed I was in you son?"
What? Syaoran lost a billion dollar contract? I couldn't believe it! He should know better how to prepare that sort of thing. He's an expert in dealing with contracts and money. He couldn't seem to explain why he'd lost it. He just kept saying sorry to mother and mother was being much too pushy about it. Maybe she should have listened to what Syaoran needed to say. But Syaoran seemed not to want to discuss it either.
"I'm sorry mother."
I looked at Syaoran in disbelieve. He keep saying sorry and not wanting to explain the whole thing to her. I knew he had a reason why he lost it; it's not only him to blame!
"Sakura, are you okay? You look dizzy and you're sweating a lot honey!"
"I'm just... nervous mother. Sorry for making you worry." I lied to mother I was more worried about the deal that Syaoran had lost.
"Syaoran, you should take a better care of her. She's your fiancée!"
"Yes, mother."
"Actually, I want you to move in together, into Syaoran's place. It would be better for both of you since both of you seem to have no interest in each other."
"Yes, mother,"
"I've asked my subordinate to move all your belongings to Syaoran's place and it should be finished by now. So tonight, you two have to act more like a couple. A real engaged couple. I'm willing to make your engagement official as soon as possible, to prevent Syaoran from doing anything reckless."
He just kept silent after hearing mother say those things. I felt so irritated with his quite attitude. This was not how a son should act towards his mother. This would lead mother to expect that Syaoran would always obey her orders.
"Sakura, please teach him how to become independent. He is so spoiled even though he's twenty four. However mentally, he's just seventeen!"
"No mother, he's not spoiled. He is so gentle to me. I believe that the night he threw that party was just a regrettable mistake. He was so tired back then. He just wanted a one night stand because I kept refusing to have sex with him. It's not all his fault, mother."
"That's so nice of you Sakura. Since you were the one betrayed, but still you stood up for him. Very good! Show some respect Syaoran, you should treasure her more! She's different from any cheap girl you used to date!"
I can see Syaoran staring at the wall beside his mother. I knew how frustrated it felt like when someone, especially your parents lectured you for something you really didn't want to talk about. I just had an urge to stop mother for lecturing Syaoran more.
"Mother, I think Syaoran has had enough of this. It will be hard for him if you don't give him a chance to explain what is on his mind! He probably has a good enough reason to do what he did back than!"
Mother just kept her mouth shut and so did Syaoran. He just kept focusing on one point and not caring to answer or listen to what mother had just said.
"I'm just doing my job as Syaoran's fiancé and I think you should listen to his explanation as well. I believe there is a reason behind his every decision."
"But it seems that he didn't have anything to explain to me. I always gave him time to explain everything, but he never did."
"Maybe he really didn't have an explanation this time, but next time I'll make sure that everything Syaoran does is caused by something. There is always a reason even, even if it's the bad one."
"Sakura, you are so gentle and mature! Syaoran, you should be grateful to have her as your fiancé!"
"Yes, mother!"
"You may leave, Syaoran! As for Sakura, I need to talk to you!"
"Yes, mother."
He walked in silence until he closed the door slowly behind him. I know he would not let mother see the evil side of him. He was a very good actor after all.
On the other hand, I kept thinking to myself about the things mother wanted to tell me.
Is it about my family?
I hoped that she just wanted to inform me about a development in my division.
I don't want mother to ask me some sick question about how my relation was going with Syaoran.
"Sakura, do you think I'm wrong? Am I doing poorly for a mother?"
"No, mother, it's just you're too hard on Syaoran. Don't order your own son without thinking about how it affects his feelings. It's no different than a relation between yourself and one of your servants. He has to obey everything you have said to make you happy, to make you think that he is a good kid. But behind that wall, he is suffering and needs to escape. No wonder he did something so unexpected! It was because he's just a human! He needs his own space, so that was his way of escaping."
"Oh, I can see your point clearly Sakura. I'm very proud of you. My kids never dared to scold me this way. Thank you, Sakura."
~*~
To be continued...
How is it?
I hope you like this chapter. Now I'm working on the seventh chapter. Please support me by dropping a review :)
Love yaaaaaa :)
About the song:
If you like watching Cartoon Kat-tun, I believe you'll know the song. Anyone?
I always watch this, when I got stuck with the story, hahaha :3
SHELTER, is a song about love, friendship, in short, it's beautiful. Anyway, I love to watch Cartoon Kat-tun, it's so funny and all the host are handsome (kakkoiiiii :3)!! You can download the video from J-One Record on LJ Community. Hehe...
Anyway, Rapid-chan said the next chapter will be done by tomorrow. I can't wait!!!!
See you!
