At the cast Christmas party
Gandalf is singing loudly and playing the piano with one hand while performing an impromptu fireworks show with the other, to the delight of many. The delight turns to screaming when some land in Eowyn's hair and she crashes into the snack table trying to put them out.
Aragorn walks in. Legolas spots him and walks unsteadily over.
Legolas: You're late
Aragorn: Shut up.
Legolas: You look terrible.
Aragorn: I am this close to making a blond joke
Legolas: Anyway where's you're girlfriend? (thinking, Maybe they broke up?)
Aragorn: (sighs) She had to be at some elf thing. Apparently Elrond insisted.
Legolas: Aww, what a shame (thinking, Damn. Oh well, I'll just have to go to Plan C!)
Frodo walks in, looking dejected.
Frodo: Can anyone give me a ride home?
Legolas: Well, where are Merry and Pippin?
Frodo: Out back smoking a joint. They're the ones that made me come here, and then they just ditched me.
Aragorn: Ok, well what about Sam?
Frodo: (points to the corner, where Sam and Rosie are slow dancing)
Aragorn: Aw buddy
Frodo: I hate Christmas parties
Legolas: My good lad, cheer up! Here, have a drink! (hands Frodo some ale) There will be other parties. Although, not as many for you, since you're mortal. HA HA! (knocks back another shot)
Frodo: Uh Legolas how many have you had
Legolas: And you know what else? The next three weeks of filming are going to be SO BORING. You know the battle scenes will take way longer than anyone plans for. And Gandalf will probably want to redo a bunch of sequences as usual. Gosh I hope nothing unexpected happens!
Frodo: But seriously, how many drinks have you had
Legolas spies Magoleth across the room, talking to a few of the Nazgul
Magoleth: Nah, don't worry about it. No hard feelings
Legolas: Oy! Hey Mag! Magoleth, c'mere!
Magoleth: Oh, sorry, better go see what he wants. Nice talking to you! (walks over to Legolas) What's up?
Legolas: Maaaaag, how are you? You look great. Hey, have you met my friend Aragorn?
Magoleth: Um, yes, I have actually
Aragorn: Legolas… what are you doing
Legolas: Whaaaaaat I just think you two would get along! (in a low voice) C'mon man, Arwen's not here, I won't tell anyone
Aragorn: What! Legolas! How can you even suggest that!
Magoleth: (glances from Legolas to Aragorn) Um… Hey Legolas! How's about you and I go get a drink!
She steers him over to the bar, winking at Aragorn as she walks past, who smiles in relief. Gimli, who had been about to go up to Legolas, stops in his tracks. He blushes bright red, then scowls and stomps away.
Magoleth: Hi there
Bartender: What can I get ya?
Magoleth: Just some jungle juice for my buddy here
Legolas: *hic* Look Mag, I'm telling you, you and Aragorn would be great together. I can set you up on a date. I know this place, best restaurant in all of Arda!
Magoleth: Doesn't he already have a girlfriend? Anyways, I actually already have a date coming up.
Legolas: What! With who?
Magoleth: That cute new guy. (get ups) Hey, I gotta run, but you enjoy your drink, OK?
Legolas: (bent over his glass) Grumble… grumble… how dare she… foil my plans… grumble…
Bartender: You alright there sir?
Legolas: I hate Christmas parties.
The next morning
Legolas is awoken by someone banging on his door.
Aragorn: (through door) Legolas, are you dressed yet
Legolas: (pulls pillow over his head) Uggghhhhh
Aragorn: Legolas. Hey! Rise and shine! (walks in) What! You're not even out of bed? Have you lost your mind?
Legolas: Please go away
Legolas is clearly the worse for wear. Aragorn, being a morning person, is completely awake, and shakes his head in annoyance.
Aragorn: The detail from Gondor will be here soon! You know we have to be at that meeting. You have to get up!
Legolas: (clutching head) Please stop saying words
Aragorn drags Legolas out of bed. With dismay he notes that Legolas is still wearing his clothes from the previous night, which are now quite rumpled.
Aragorn: (trying to find a clean shirt for Legolas) I can't believe this. How late were you out last night? You're eyes are all bloodshot too. Better not let Lord Elrond see you like that
Legolas: (thinking to himself) note to self: think of another plan to kill Aragorn. Plan C didn't work.
Aragorn shoves a clean tunic into Legolas' hands, and pushes him towards the door as Legolas pulls it over his head. His hair is of course inexplicably immaculate.
They arrive in the meeting hall. The rest of the fellowship is already there.
Gandalf: (tersely) Ah Legolas, Aragorn, so nice of you to join us.
Legolas and Aragorn walk past him to get seats. Elladan and Elrohir snicker to each other as they pass.
Legolas: (grumbling) what are they doing here? They're not even in the next round of filming.
Aragorn: So are you going to tell me what you got up to last night?
Legolas: No. And even if I wanted to, I actually can't remember anything. So there.
Aragorn grabs Legolas wrist
Araogrn: Well maybe Inweth can give us a hint
Legolas: Who?
Legolas looks at his hand to see the name 'Inweth' and an address scrawled in purple ink
Gimli, sitting on Aragorn's other side, overhears them and scowls
Aragorn: Eh? Eh? So who is Inweth?
Legolas: I have no idea. I wish I could remember… what did I do last night?
At that moment Faramir and the rest of the detachment from Gondor arrives, and the meeting begins.
