09/24/15
Angst Thursday
Inspired by the song of the same name by Seal... which was ironically a song used for a Batman movie...
Kissed By a Roseā¦
Though no one knew where Brainy had been going when he left, or even awake at the time, Brainy had to convince himself several times not to just turn around and go back. He did not know what possessed him to do this to himself every year or why he insisted on buying a rose each time he did but it became a sort of morbid tradition Brainy could not escape from.
Getting beyond the gate was the hardest part, not because of locks or guards or anything like that. The gate was always opened but Brainy sometimes imagined that if he didn't go through the gate he would be able to leave without doing this but after walking away and back several times he always made his way through.
The first trip had been a lot of fumbling and getting turned around but by now Brainy could make the stroll there blindfolded. He didn't even have to worry about running into anyone because there was rarely ever anyone else there and never on this day.
When at last Brainy made it, he plopped down on the ground. He hadn't done that the first time, or the second or even the twelfth; it felt improper even he didn't believe in the superstitions surrounding these things, especially since he knew the ground underneath him was empty, but it hadn't felt right until years after knowing and then loving the person who this grave was for; Clark Kent.
The grave marker was only that, a marker. A fictional burial place for a person who lived longer than the real man could have and had to fake away his mortality and live as a god for many years after; a different, much grander monument to his life standing in Metropolis than this simple country plot in a small town in Kansas. This place, beside his parents, was where he was sure Clark would have preferred to have been laid to rest rather than the isolation of his monument.
Perhaps that's why Brainy always ended coming back here on the anniversary of Superman's death rather than to the Museum or the actual burial place that had become like a temple over the centuries. This place of tranquility where the wind would be heard rustling the grass outside the iron gates instead of the commotion and music and noise that didn't befit actual mourning.
Early trips had been entirely silent, Brainy having come to visit and stand awkwardly for a bit and leave a flower before rushing out again. Later trips were filled with apologies and sometimes tears but were still short and ending with him rushing out.
Now Brainy sat, absently brushing the petals of the rose against his cheek as he twirled the stem between his fingers and told the marker about Clark's life as Brainy experienced it. Each visit told of years of early growth into his powers and heroic persona, to confidence and victories and near disasters and the mutual growth of their feelings and eventual relationship.
Even after being together all this time, Brainy never told Clark about the visits. How could he admit to mourning someone who was still alive and with him as much as time permitted?
It didn't matter when time would eventually take Clark away from Brainy entirely, even before death. When Clark would need to return to his time and stay there for the good of history and the world of the past no matter how much it would hurt the both of them.
Brainy softly placed a kiss upon the rose before settling it on top of the grave marker and said good bye for another year, not realizing he had also left a tear drop on top of the petals.
