Special thanks to surforst, MrDrP, Josh84, AtomicFire, Yankee Bard, Jasminevr1000, qtpie235, SassMasterGeneral, and yvi for their reviews.
Your encouragement really means a great deal, thanks.
Thanks to everyone for reading!
I would also like to extend my sincere, heartfelt thanks to TexasDad.
I.
The night before the trip to Middleton, Kim paced the hard floor of the living area and the hallway between Ron and Mariko's sleeping cells. Over and over again.
Instead of trying not to think--which had been the previous evening's goal, she was busy trying to work out all the complications that the trip surely had in store for her ... if she actually went.
The emotional implications of seeing her hometown five years after her own death were so daunting that her mind refused to even consider them. There could be no preparation; she would just have to roll with the punches as the came. Besides, the sheer number of physical complications was more than enough to keep her occupied. She would have to stick to Mariko like glue; walking even a handful of steps behind Ron and his daughter could result in being cut off from them by a closing barrier. The sliding entrance to the dwelling, the gate to Yamanouchi (she couldn't imagine such a place not having a gate), multiple doors in the airports they were sure to go through--one misstep and any one of them could leave her trapped and alone.
And, of course, there was still the uncertainty about whether she could even leave the dwelling at all. How was she to know that at the moment she tried to cross the threshold that awful keening wouldn't begin again, and she'd find herself on her rear, watching Ron and Mariko walk out of sight? Perhaps forever.
Amp down, Possible!
One thing she could not amp down was her fear of "blacking out" again. Once the drama that afternoon had settled down, the gravity of her inexplicable two day absence began to weigh upon her. How was she to know if it would happen again or for how long? As she walked leadenly through the pitch blackness with only the vaguely perceived whiteness of the walls to guide her, Kim gloomily mused that another "black out" could happen at any instant. For all she knew, it had already happened. Maybe the last second. And this second was on a night after the trip. Anything was possible, and none of it was under her control.
Kim had never felt so helpless.
And then there was the big fear. The fear that Mariko might discover who she really was. What would happen if the little girl realized that Kim had lied to her?
As she wheeled once again down the stilted hallway toward Ron's door, she heard Mariko's cell door slide open.
"Rufina!"
The girl's voice sent a wave of relief over Kim so palpable that she felt a warm flutter in the pit of her stomach. "Yes, sweetheart," she smiled as she turned toward Mariko. The little girl was in a white kimono and standing in a pool of moonlight that emptied out from her open door.
"Are you too excited to sleep, too?" the girl asked. Giddiness was evident both in her voice and the trembling of her shadow.
"Yes," she answered as truthfully as possible. Although Kim did not know if she could ever sleep, the trip definitely had her excited.
Mariko ran to Kim and took her by the hand.
"What is it, Mariko?" Kim asked, kneeling down to the girl's level. Again, the pulsing warmth in the girl's tiny grasp was very soothing.
"Could you help me fall asleep? Maybe tell me a story?"
"Oh, sure." As the little girl led her into the cell, Kim tried to rack her memory for a story suitable for someone of Mariko's age. She hadn't read a bedtime story since she was babysitting--before she started doing the missions full time. And she had never told a story on-the-fly.
"Wow," Kim breathed as she rounded the corner in the girl's room. The window shade was open, and the room was overflowing with light from the largest full moon Kim could ever remember seeing. "No wonder you can't fall asleep."
"Huh?"
"Th-the moon," Kim said, still gazing out the window. The details on the craters were so clear and vivid. Her eyes caught a small cluster of stars rounding out the moon's cradle to the right. They shone so brilliantly that they seemed to be dancing. As her eyes tried to take in all the vibrant detail, Kim recalled Ron mentioning at some point Senior year that Yamanouchi was high up in the mountains.
The elevation, the clear air … maybe that's why …
"Oh, yeah." Mariko glanced at the moon, shrugged, and then curled up on her sleeping mat. She looked up at Kim expectantly.
"A story," Kim said hesitantly as she sat down, "okay." She could only recall the plots of a couple of Dr. Seuss books that Ron had been particularly fond of. Of course, with those books, the plots alone were not much help. Then the perfect story presented itself.
"I remember the first time that I went on a long trip," Kim began confidently. "I was going to visit my Nana, and I think I was ... maybe three."
"What's a Nana?" Mariko interrupted.
"Oh, she's my grandmother--that's what I call my grandmother," Kim smiled. "Like your Bubbe."
"Oh," Mariko nodded happily.
Kim paused.
Is Nana still alive?
It had been at least five years, and there was no telling how many things had happened in that time.
What's changed? What's ended?
Kim shook that unpleasant thought from her mind and pressed on. "I remember it was a very long car trip. Nana lived far, far away. We had to leave very early--even before the sun came up."
"What's …a car?" Mariko asked, a perplexed wrinkle between her eyes.
Oh boy.
"Well, it's … a vehicle that takes you places," Kim managed with difficulty. "Okay," she admitted, "that sounded pretty stupid."
Why can't I do this?
"Well, it's like a … a horseless carriage?" Kim offered with a wince.
"Oh," Mariko nodded. Then she asked, "What's a horse?"
You've got be to kidding me. How can you not know what a horse is?
Then Kim remembered how amped Mariko had been earlier about going on "a real trip." It was quite likely that Mariko had never left the grounds of the school. If there were no horses on this secluded mountain, how often would the topic come up?
"Well …" Kim said massaging her temples (more out of frustration than any pain per se), "what was your original question, sweetie?"
"What's a car?" Mariko said with a half-yawn.
"It's difficult to explain," Kim admitted sheepishly. Then she brightened, "But I'm sure you'll see them in Middleton."
"Really?" Mariko smiled.
"Uh-huh," Kim asserted, "and ride in them too."
"Wow," Mariko breathed in a tone that reminded Kim of her reaction to that incredible moon just a few minutes earlier.
Kim nodded. "Anyway, I remember having trouble falling asleep before my trip, too. Even Pandaroo didn't help that night."
"Who's Panda...roo?"
"Oh! He's my favorite Cuddle Buddie!" Kim enthused. "He's part kangaroo and part panda. I just couldn't go anywhere without him when I was your age. And I still have difficulty going to sleep without him even now."
Kim had no problem admitting these normally embarrassing details to Mariko. And, Mariko, who didn't understand half of what Kim was referring to, just took it all in with a drowsy smile. The happiness in Kim's voice was so pleasant to listen to that she just let the words flow over her.
But she still had to ask.
"Is Panda … Pandaroo a boy or a girl?"
"Oh," Kim stopped short. She had never thought about that; Pandaroo had always just been "Pandaroo." "I guess Pandaroo's a boy, sweetie," she said finally. And then, to make it clear that he wasn't a person, she added, "He's a stuffed animal."
The little girl's eyes shot open in alarm. "S-someone killed him … and st-stuffed him!?"
"No!" Kim said holding up her hands. "No, no, no, sweetie! He's not that kind of stuffed animal. He's not real."
That got her a relieved look that quickly became a confused one.
"I mean," Kim corrected herself, "he's real ... just not real, real."
Boy, that sure cleared things up! Okay. Think Possible. You can do this.
Kim thought of explaining that Pandaroo was a toy. However, the complete absence of playthings from the girl's room suggested that this stratagem might lead to the obvious question of what a "toy" was.
"Your daddy had a lot of stuffies like Pandaroo when he was little," she explained. "I'm sure your Bubbe still has them at her house. You'll understand when you see them."
"Really?" Mariko asked in amazement. "Lots and lots?"
"Uh-huh," Kim nodded. "You'll see. They're lots of fun."
There was no way Barbara Jo would have thrown away Ron's collection of stuffed animals, Kim mused. Apart from herself and the imaginary Rufus, they had been his first friends. In fact, they were the reason behind his initial desire to cook.
Mariko yawned.
"Are you getting sleepy, sweetie," Kim asked.
With her eyes shut, Mariko nodded and yawned once more. Then she opened her eyes and asked, "Will you stay in my room after I go to sleep."
"Would you like that?"
Mariko nodded.
"Of course."
The contented smile on the little girl's lips spread as she swiftly fell asleep. Kim couldn't get over the child's face. She was absolutely beautiful. Especially in that room at that moment with the ineffable glow of the moon highlighting her small features. Kim was convinced that Mariko was the most precious thing she had ever seen.
Kim pulled her gaze from Ron's daughter and focused back on the moon. It had glided into the night to the point that it was almost above her line of sight in the window. Yet, what she could see was still awe-inspiring. It was almost like looking through her father's telescope as a pre-schooler. Except here, Kim could almost believe it really was close enough to touch. She felt that if she extended her arm right, she might feel the craters scrape against her fingertips.
Suddenly, Kim was startled from this reverie by a disturbing noise. Over the course of a few seconds, it went from a low rumbling, gained momentum to become a guttural "churn," and finally blossomed into a cacophonous roar. As jarring as the sound was ... it was very familiar, too.
As she slowly turned toward the sound's source--Mariko's mat, Kim saw that the child was on her back with her mouth gracelessly wide open. And although the din seemed much deeper and louder than anything that could be coming from such a small body, there was no doubt that the "rumblings" that Kim could now feel in her bones were Mariko's snores.
Kim barely managed to suppress a giggle.
Oh Ron, she is so your daughter!
Kim propped herself on her elbow, leaned over Mariko's sleeping form, and gave her a peck on the forehead.
Almost immediately, Kim inexplicably felt quite empty and sad. She lay on her back and tried to puzzle out what was wrong. Her eyes followed the tracks of the various cracks in the cell's ceiling. Like her father's, Mariko's snores, though raucous, were quite rhythmic, and listening to them soothed her. However, Kim still couldn't shake the vague dread that was hovering at the edges of her consciousness
Then she realized what it was. The small kiss she had just given Mariko was her first kiss since …
Since I died.
Her last kiss had also been a brief peck. Not even that.
When she had said goodbye to Ron that Saturday morning as she headed off to the park, she had only brushed her lips against his cheek. He had been standing in his mother's doorway still in his night attire, a naco-stained t-shirt and Fearless Ferret boxers. Although he was going over to Mr. North's to do some yard work, he had overslept. That was so like him. He said he would catch her later, and she had replied that she'd like to do something before the dance that evening but she had no idea what. Maybe it was because she had been so focused on the dance, but she had not paid close attention to their words at the time. And she couldn't recall them now. Their last words.
The kiss she had given Mariko grounded Kim … in time. From the girl's age, Kim had assumed that five years had past since that day in the park. But now she knew it was more like seven, maybe even eight. And they were real years.
She had accepted the reality of the world she had found herself in and had accepted those heart-shattering facts--Yori had killed her; Ron had married Yori--as truth. But she hadn't known them, hadn't felt them like she did now.
It was numbing, but it couldn't be denied. She had died; the world had gone on without her for the better part of a decade. And save for the acknowledgment of one little girl, Kim would only have been a fading memory.
II.
The screams were searing.
"Mommy!" Mariko cried. "Don't go!! Please, mommy!"
Mariko was sitting bolt upright on her mat, one arm extended and clutching into the darkness of her room while the other hugged her own shoulder. Tears ran down both cheeks and her nose bubbled. She was hysterical.
Kim had been listlessly watching the remainder of the moon glide above the room's window, so she had been jolted by Mariko's cries.
She gently gathered the little girl's trembling form in her arms and began to urgently, yet quietly, whisper to her. "Mariko, Mariko, it's okay, it's just a dream, you're okay, you're okay …"
The idiocy of what she was saying didn't hit Kim until after the girl stopped crying.
Of course, it is not just a dream for her. It's not okay.
Mariko looked up, tears still flowing. Her eyes widened suddenly, and she edged quickly away from Kim's embrace. Kim let her go. The child stared at her in startled confusion.
A second later, recognition flashed across her eyes. "Rufina!" With both arms hugging her shoulders, she began trembling again. "I-I miss my mommy … so much."
Kim tentatively put her arms around the child again; Mariko leaned heavily into the embrace.
What do I say? What can I say?
"I'm here," Kim whispered as she began to rock the little girl. "I'm here."
"Mariko!" Ron was standing out of breath in the doorway; the glow from a candleholder in his hand sent orange shadows dancing about the room. His eyes were harried and his hair stuck out in all directions.
"Daddy!" Mariko broke from Kim's embrace and ran to hug her father's knees.
He lifted her up in one arm and asked in a hushed, groggy voice. "A-another nightmare?"
Mariko nodded and rubbed her nose on the sleeve of her kimono.
"Do you want to sleep in daddy's room?"
Mariko nodded again.
As Ron turned to walk down the hall, Mariko's eyes fell upon Kim sitting in the center of her cell. She gave Kim a small wave that was interrupted as Ron and she disappeared around the door's edge.
III.
When Kim returned the wave, she found she was in the back seat of an SUV that was traveling through a snowstorm. Mariko was in a toddler chair at the opposite end of the vehicle's roomy back seat.
The girl enthusiastically returned Kim's wave and cried, "Rufina! Yay! She's here!"
Kim noticed Barbara Jo in the driver's seat before Mariko; Ron was in the front passenger seat, directly in front of her. She was mildly surprised that Donald Stoppable wasn't there.
"Good!" Ron said as he looked back to the general area where Kim was sitting. "I knew she'd show up eventually." He waved off to Kim's left, "Hello, Rufina!"
She smile at Mariko and attempted to give Ron a brief wave, but he had already turned back around.
"Rufina, huh?" Barbara Jo said with a pointed wry smile.
Ron shrugged absently in response to his mother's insinuation.
"Oh, Rufina," Mariko gushed, "you missed so much today! We flew in a helicopter and got to see the whole mountain and then we got to see Tokyo and then we got to see the airport and flew on a plane and I got a packet of peanuts, but they were too salty."
"Really?" Kim asked as she tried to catch up with the flowing words that were erupting from the little girl while still trying to get acclimated to her most recent jump in space and time. "Did you like flying on the plane?"
"Yes," Mariko said, but then she paused in thought for a few seconds. "But I really like riding in Bubbe's car much, much more! And I can't wait to see Rufus again!"
"And I know he can't wait to see you too." Ron and Kim said in unison. Mariko thought this was hilarious.
"Jinx." Kim said automatically.
"What?" Mariko asked with a curious smile.
"Oh, nothing, sweetie." Kim smiled.
"That's what I was going to ask," Ron said from the front seat. "What's so funny?"
"You and Rufina just said the same thing at the same time." Mariko explained with a smile.
"Oh, okay," Ron said from the front seat. There was a pregnant moment of silence and then Ron began to talk in a hushed voice to his mother.
Kim experienced a flutter of anxiety during those few seconds of silence. Almost as if she was worried Ron might realize she was there.
As Mariko continued to relay all the details of her adventure, Kim found it somewhat difficult to maintain complete focus on what the little girl was saying. Every time her gaze wavered, even slightly from Mariko's, she would make out through the driving snow a familiar Middelton landmark. It seemed as if there wasn't a building, a house, or a street that wasn't attached to some deep memory from her past. And more often than not, these memories involved Ron.
"Ooh! Look at the big hat, Rufina!" Mariko cried pointing out Kim's window as they drove past Bueno Nacho.
"Yes, I see it," Kim smiled back. Then she realized that the SUV was actually pulling into the restaurant's parking lot.
Oh no, Ron! This'll knock Mariko flat on her bottom!
Although she had yet to see Ron and Mariko eat a meal, Kim felt pretty certain that the diet at Yamanouchi was a healthy and spartan one. A naco would certainly be a shock to the little girl's system.
"I don't think this is a good idea, Mom," Ron said with an annoyed look at his mother.
"What are you talking about, Ron?" Barbara Jo said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "You practically lived here! I'm sure a Little Nino meal won't do her any permanent damage. Besides, I didn't get a chance to go to the store today—there's nothing to eat in the house."
"Okay," Ron said reluctantly. "But no fast food after this," he flashed a worried glance back at Mariko.
Although Kim could see that Ron still had difficulty saying 'no' to his mother, she was glad to see that even he viewed Bueno Nacho as an unwise meal choice for his little girl.
As they sat in the drive-thru line, Kim continued to listen to Mariko's adventures. She had been very worried when they got on the helicopter—at first, but she grew to really like seeing things from so high up and didn't want to get off when they landed in Tokyo. On the other hand, she had found the plane ride very boring and slept most of the time. She told Kim that she didn't start to really worry that she, that is, Rufina, wasn't going to make it until they landed in the first American airport. And then they had met Bubbe in the Middleton airport and Bubbe had brought warm jackets and snow boots for them put on. Mariko was delighted that it was snowing because her daddy had said that they might go sledding, and that was something they never got to do in the snow at Yamanouchi.
As the car inched forward in line, Kim couldn't get over how strange the Bueno Nacho felt. She couldn't put her finger on it, but it seemed different somehow. Smaller, maybe. In fact, she had been getting that vibe every time she spotted a familiar place on their drive.
"The usual Naco Night order?" Barbara Jo asked Ron happily.
"I guess," Ron said, "Wait! Do they still even have that?"
"I don't know," Barbara Jo admitted, "I just know what food came with it."
Ron sat quietly as his mother announced their order to the speaker. When she got to the Nino Meal, he leaned over and said, "Mom, no t-o-y with the meal."
"Hold on a moment," Barbara Jo told the speaker. "Ron, don't worry, they don't have those little devil/robots anymore."
"That's not it, Mom," Ron said seriously, "just—no t-o-y. I'll explain later."
Barbara Jo completed the order and then at the last moment added, "And could I get extra nachos instead of drinks for all those meals?" She explained to Ron as they drove to the pick-up window that she had plenty of soda at home.
"Mmmm. Smells yummy!" Mariko said as they pulled out of the parking lot.
"Yes, but we're not going to eat until we get to Bubbe's house," Ron said.
"Doesn't it smell yummy, Rufina?"
"Yes, it does," Kim smiled. And it did. But it didn't make her hungry. It was hard to explain, but Kim didn't feel like she would ever be hungry again, and, even stranger, that felt "normal" to her.
It was snowing harder now, making it more difficult to identify places they were driving past. Of course, Kim knew the way from Bueno Nacho to Ron's house like the back of her hand. Middleton High would be coming up on her side of the car soon.
Ron was also looking out his window. Maybe he was going to point out their school to Mariko.
They passed the school, and Ron said nothing. He only starred impassively out the window.
There were so many memories there, but Kim could understand why Ron might not want to revisit them.
"Are you okay, Rufina?" Mariko asked.
"Yes, sweetie, fine." Kim said, trying to sound sincere.
"You look sad." Mariko insisted.
"Maybe a little," Kim admitted. She was so tired of lying to the little girl. "But I'll be okay. Oh, look! The gazebo!" She said happily pointing out the little girl's window.
Kim wasn't lamely trying to change the subject. She really was happy to see the Silver Gazebo at the center of Middleton Park. The hundred-year-old structure had been the scene of one of her best memories. Actually, her favorite memory. And it did look beautiful lit up amid the millions of shimmering, dark flakes of snow.
"Wow!" Mariko said as she watched it go by. She tried out the new word "Gazeeebo!"
"Yeah, honey, they have one in the park." Ron's words fell like lead as they were spoken. He was still staring out the passenger window, seeing nothing. No one in the car could mistake the despair in his voice.
When he spoke the word "park," Kim realized what was wrong. How could she not have realized earlier?
That's where I died.
"Honey," Ron said in a slightly brighter tone after a few moments, "did you say that Rufina was sad?"
"Yes, daddy," Mariko nodded as she looked at Kim, "she is sad."
"What about?"
"I don't know," she answered worriedly.
Kim gave Mariko a little smile, if only so she wouldn't worry.
"Hey!" Ron said happily, "Look, Mariko! That's where daddy went to school when he was your age."
"Where?" Mariko asked, craning in her chair to see where her father was pointing.
"Right there!" Kim and Ron said in unison as the SUV turned right in front of Ron and Kim's pre-school.
"Jinx," Kim whispered with a small smile. Her voice was quiet enough that Mariko shouldn't have been able to hear her.
"There?" Mariko asked, pointing to the school.
"Uh-huh," Ron continued happily, "that's where daddy met his best friend in the whole world."
"R-rufina?" Mariko asked looking at Kim.
"No, silly," Ron replied, "Kim." Then he was quiet again. And although she couldn't see it, Kim could hear the smile in his voice when he, in a barely-heard whisper, spoke again. "Her name was Kim."
IV.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Mariko cried in alarm.
"What? What it is, Mariko?" Ron had Mariko's small bag and his duffle under his left arm and one of the Bueno Nacho sacks in his right hand.
"Rufina's trapped in the car!"
Kim had been so preoccupied with looking at the Stoppables' home through her car window that she had momentarily forgotten that she needed to take advantage of the brief period of time when the little girl's door was open to make her escape. But she couldn't help it. Like Bueno Nacho, Middleton High, the gazebo, and even their kindergarten, there was something different about Ron's house. Something had changed, but she couldn't figure out what it was.
Indulgently, Ron reopened Mariko's door, and Kim slid across the seat and stepped out of the car.
"Is she out?" Ron asked pleasantly.
"Uh-huh," Mariko said as she grabbed Kim's hand and then walked over to her Bubbe who was waiting for the little girl's other hand.
As he watched his daughter walking toward his childhood front door, her left hand held by his mother and her right raised in the air as if she was holding an invisible person's hand, Ron let go a brief laugh and close the car door. As he followed them up the walk, Ron reflected that he had just laughed carelessly for the first time in a very long while. And that made him smile, but with a little sadness too.
While Barbara Jo was fussing with the lock on the front door, Kim noticed that Ron's father's car wasn't in the drive. Maybe he was working late, but that didn't make sense. Even Donald Stoppable could pull himself away from work for a rare visit with his granddaughter.
Kim's thoughts were interrupted when the door suddenly opened and Mariko began to tug her into the house. Once they were past the threshold, the little girl could no longer contain herself, she let go of both Kim and Barbara Jo's hands and began exploring.
"Wow! Look, look at this! Wow!" Mariko was running all over the room, pointing at such mundane things as lampshades and the coffee table doilies. Her little form, looking like a little puffed-out pink marshmallow in her new winter jacket, darting excitedly around the room was one of the cutest things Kim had ever seen. But, for some reason Kim felt very self-conscious about her smile. Even though she well knew that only Mariko could see her, she felt compelled to cover her smile and not laugh while Barbara Jo was in the room.
The keening in her ears let Kim know that Ron was making his way through the doorway. She stepped aside to let him in. As he shut the door, he called out to Mariko, "Okay, punky monkey, time to eat, you can ransack the house later."
"Punky monkey?" all three females in the room said at once.
"What?" Ron asked his mother and daughter. "It just came to me just now--I don't know why." After placing the luggage on the couch, he asked, "Where's Rufus?"
"Up in your room, Ron. He was sleeping when I left," Barbara Jo said as she hung up her jacket.
Ron hurried across the room and up the stairs, two steps at a time.
Mariko looked at her grandmother and said, "Oh, I forgot to say it."
"Forgot to say what, dear?"
"Jinx." Mariko said happily.
"Oh, I see," Barbara Jo laughed, "so you're playing that game too, huh?"
"Uh-huh," Mariko nodded.
Once again, Kim felt a wave of mild anxiety pass over her.
Ron came down the stairs with his finger to his lips. "Little guy's still sleeping," he said in a half-whisper.
"Can I see him?" Mariko half-whispered back.
Ron shook his head. "He needs his rest, honey. You can see him later after we eat."
Kim followed the others as they walked toward the kitchen. She spied the clock that hung above Barbara Jo's hutch; it was quarter after eight.
Where's Ron's dad? This is ridiculous late!
Then her eyes caught the framed photos standing on the hutch's top two shelves. She quickly walked toward the piece of furniture and anxiously looked over the photo collection.
Where … where—there! Whew! Good.
She found their junior prom picture on the top shelf near the back. It wasn't far back, but it was far enough from the edge that she didn't believe Mariko could see it.
Oh my God.
Unbidden, all the feelings and emotions tied to that photo rushed over her. Kim felt like she was going to faint and had to grab the side of the hutch to steady herself.
As she regained her equilibrium, Kim's eyes fell upon the largest photo on the second shelf, positioned at the very front of all the others.
Considering her emotional state, it was quite amazing that Kim was able to lower herself to floor so gently and not simply collapse. Once there, she closed her eyes. This gave no relief because she found a negative image of Ron and Yori's wedding portrait floating behind her closed eyelids.
Her eyes opened as a small warm hand touched her back.
"Rufina?" Mariko asked, "Don't you want to come eat?"
"No, sweetie," Kim said in a surprisingly steady voice, "I'm not hungry. Actually, I don't believe I can eat."
"Oh … okay."
The hand withdrew and Kim was alone again.
But not quite. A few seconds later, Mariko walked back over to Kim and kissed her on the top of her head.
Kim turned and said "Thanks" to Mariko as the little girl walked back to the kitchen.
A few minutes later, Kim felt well enough to get to her feet and see how things were going in the kitchen. As she entered the room, she exchanged smiles and waves with Mariko. Ron was eating his naco combo, but not with the same relish that he had in the past, Mariko had eaten most of her nachos but had taken apart her naco to examine its contents, and Barbara Jo was digging through the kitchen drawers.
"What are you looking for, Mom," Ron asked, his mouth half-full of naco. The sight of Ron actually covering his mouth when he spoke made Kim feel a little sad.
"The nutcracker--where did your father used to keep it?"
"The nutcracker?" Ron asked. "What do you need the nutcracker for?"
"To open the soda, Ron," Barbara Jo said with mild exasperation. "You know can never unscrew those bottle caps. And I haven't had soda in the house for years."
"Why don't you just ask me to open the bottle, Mom?"
"Your … father?" Mariko asked.
Ron nodded, his mouth full once more.
"Will I get to see him, too?"
He shook his head and swallowed. "No, honey. I told you, my daddy died before you were born."
"Oh," Mariko said, "I'm sorry, daddy."
"It's okay," he smiled. "Try a bite of your naco, honey."
Mariko was going to ask Kim if she had ever eaten a naco before, but when she looked up, her friend was gone.
It's not okay. It's not okay. It's not!
Kim had run from the kitchen and was now sitting at the top of the stairs where she hoped she was out of Mariko's earshot. Even so, she covered her mouth to muffle her sobs.
All the tension Kim had been feeling from the previous evening, all the spoken worries and unacknowledged fears she had about the trip erupted to the surface when she heard that Ron's father was dead. Her grief went beyond the regret she felt for not having been around to ease Ron and his mother's mourning. The knowledge that Donald Stoppable was dead had opened up for Kim the fact that she had loved the man.
He had always seemed to be a background figure in her life. Certainly, she had had more interactions with Barbara Jo; she didn't even believe that she had had more than a handful of very brief conversations with Ron's father. Yet he was a really nice man. He always seemed so supportive of Ron, and, unlike Ron's mother, he never voiced any doubts about his son's safety while he was on one of her missions. He had trusted her.
Then there was the memory of the look of happiness in Donald Stoppable's eyes when She and Ron first went to Ron's house after Junior prom. When he saw that Kim and Ron were a couple, Kim could tell that Donald was cheering inside.
That had meant a lot to her. She didn't know how much until now. Now that he was gone.
Her distorted vision of the lower steps and the Stoppables' living room, blurred by tears that she could not stop, belied the truth that the Middleton Kim Possible had grown up in, the world she had known, was fading and dwindling from existence. If not already gone.
To be continued ...
