Title: Pain (4?)

Author: Catgurl83

Disclaimer: Not mine and never will be.

Rating: Young Teen

Pairings: Sam/Zoey, minor Josh/Donna

Spoilers: The entire series is fair game but there's specific emphasis on the kidnapping and Leo's death.

Author's Notes: Thanks to Abbie and Anakam for beta reading this story for me! I really appreciate all of your suggestions and the work that both of you have put into helping me with this!

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Zoey splashed cold water on her face and ran her brush through her hair a few times. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror. This was as good as it was going to get. Her eyes were still red and puffy but there wasn't anything she could do to change that. Maybe by the time she got to Sam's the puffiness would have eased.

She grabbed her purse off of her bed and headed for the door. She was going to have dinner with Sam. She didn't know if she was more excited, nervous, or scared. This was, in effect, her first date with Sam.

When had her last date been? She thought about it but couldn't remember for sure. It had been a while. A year? Two? She'd gone out since the kidnapping but not very many times and never with the same man more than once or twice.

It never took guys long to figure out her emotional problems. To figure out that she wasn't normal anymore, that a sudden move or noise could freak her out. That she didn't do well in the normal date places like clubs, movie theaters, even restaurants. And then she never heard from them again.

Sam knew about her baggage, more so than any of the other guys, and he still wanted a relationship with her. For now at least. She wasn't delusional. He would get tired of it, of her irrational feelings and thoughts, of her aversion to public places and crowds. And that would be it. He'd tell her he had to get back to California but that he'd call her. He wouldn't call.

She shouldn't even be going right now. She shouldn't put herself through this. But when he'd called, when she'd answered the phone and heard his voice, it had been so soothing. Instantly, she'd felt so much better. When he'd suggested that they have dinner together, she hadn't been able to say no. There was just something about Sam. It had always been there, she'd noticed it the first time she met him when she was in her teens. But now, toward her, it was more pronounced. His voice and touch had a way of calming her. She wasn't even sure he was aware of it.

She made it out to her car and let out a shallow breath. She'd been afraid that her parents would see her leaving and want to know where she was going. She would have had to lie to them. In the last few years she'd lied to them enough, blatantly or by omission. She hated it.

She got into the backseat of the car. One of her agents would be driving.

They would be having dinner in Sam's room. Somehow he'd picked up on her feelings about restaurants, about being in public. At least, she thought he had. He'd originally suggested that they go out but had quickly amended the suggestion.

She was glad they weren't going to be in a large crowd but she wasn't sure staying at his hotel room was much better. This was Sam Seaborn, she reminded herself. But he was still a guy, came the quick whisper in her mind. He'd kissed her earlier and she hadn't resisted.

Her response to that kiss had surprised her. Her response to his touch surprised her. Gone was the revulsion she'd felt when the other guys she'd been out with in the last few years had kissed her, touched her face or her hair. The bile that she was so used to feeling rise in her throat hadn't come earlier today in her room with Sam.

But would it stay that way if he tried something more? Even if he tried to kiss her again the reactions she was so used to could come back. She wasn't sure how she could stand it if that happened. If that happened she could lose him completely, even as a friend. He'd think that she was leading him on, that she was a tease.

A tear ran down her cheek and she roughly wiped it away. Something like that would eventually happen and when it did she couldn't let it hurt her. She couldn't let it have the power to destroy her.

The car pulled to a stop outside of the hotel and one of Zoey's agents opened the door. She sent the woman a small smile and climbed out. They took the elevator up and found the room that Sam had written on the card.

Sam pulled the door open mere seconds after she knocked. He gave her the dazzling smile she remembered from the first time she met him and moved aside to allow one of her agents to enter the room to check it.

He was wearing a pair of casual khaki slacks and a knit shirt, open at the collar. She was glad that she'd chosen to dress casually instead of wearing the silk dress she'd briefly considered.

Sam took Zoey in visually. Her hair hung loose with clips keeping it out of her face. She wore a pair of jeans that he was sure were supposed to fit snugly but which were a little loose on her frame. With the jeans, she wore a blue blouse that matched her eye color perfectly.

The agent stepped out of the room and nodded at her partner. "The room's clear."

"Thanks," Zoey said, allowing Sam to lead her inside. The door clicked shut and she wasn't able to hold back a wince.

"Zo, is something wrong?"

She shook her head quickly. "No. I'm fine."

He let it pass for now. Her eyes were swollen, the rings beneath them even more pronounced. She'd been crying, pretty hard was his guess.

He gestured for her to sit down on the sofa. "Would you like something to drink? I have sparkling water, soda, orange juice."

Zoey raised an eyebrow. "You keep orange juice on hand?"

"I have it for breakfast every morning. It's healthier than coffee."

"Ah. Sparkling water would be great."

Sam went to the mini bar and grabbed two bottles, tossed one to her. "All I have are disposable glasses." He smiled apologetically.

"It's fine."

He took the seat beside her on the sofa, careful not to sit too close to her. "Would you like to order room service now or wait a little while?"

"Wait, please. I'm not really hungry." Before he could say anything, she went on. "I did eat something earlier. My mom brought a whole plate of food in an hour after you left and I ate most of it."

"Good." He reached out to rest his hand on her left cheek, gently running his thumb along the area directly under her eye. "You were crying."

She closed her eyes but didn't pull away from him.

"When I called, I thought you sounded like you had been crying."

"I tried to take a nap," she whispered.

"And you had another nightmare," he surmised softly. What had happened earlier in the afternoon hung in his mind. He didn't want to cause her more pain like he had then but he also didn't know if he could ignore what she'd told him.

"Yes."

He moved his hand down her face, her neck, her shoulder, watching her face the whole time, studying her for any sign of fear. Finally he reached her hand, turning it over so that he could caress her palm with his thumb. "When was the last time you saw a therapist Zoey?"

"I was seeing one but I stopped… a year after…" She opened her eyes, found his. "It wasn't helping Sam. I didn't even feel like I could talk to her."

"Did she know everything?"

She swallowed. "Everything?"

"Everything, Zo," he said gently. "The nightmares, the cause of them." He watched the little bit of color she had drain from her face and wondered if he'd gone too far, too fast. If she wasn't ready to confront it, wasn't ready for him to know, should he pretend he hadn't figured it out?

She was trembling again and a tear escaped to run down her cheek.

Sam threaded both hands through her hair and forced her face to stay up. "Zoey, look at me. Don't give them the power to control you, not now. You're safe."

She bit down on her lip, nodding into his hands. "She didn't know everything," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"Have you thought about seeing another therapist?" She shook her head and he went on. "I think it's time. You're not going to get better without help."

It was several seconds before she spoke. "When I was going before I was afraid of what she'd say to my parents." She swallowed. "I don't want them to know Sam."

Sam let his hands drop from her chin and slid one around to the back of her head. He pulled Zoey forward until her head was against his chest. "A doctor can't tell anyone anything without your permission."

"Daddy's the President."

"That doesn't change the law. If you want me to, I can go to your first appointment with you and remind your doctor of doctor patient confidentiality." He felt her nod against his chest.

"If you come, will you stay?" She went on quickly. "I don't… not in the room. I don't think I can do that yet." She lifted her head to look up at his face, into his eyes. "But at the place, in case I need you?"

Sam stared into Zoey's eyes. They were wide and glistening with unshed tears. He saw the fear and the pain that he was quickly getting used to seeing in their depths. But he also saw hope. For the first time he was convinced that she'd get better, even if it took a while.

His voice was husky when he spoke. "Whatever you want. I'll do whatever you ask Zoey."

She laid her head back against his chest and allowed her eyes to drop closed. "Thank you."

He stroked his hand down her hair. He'd already discovered that he couldn't get enough of touching her. He loved the softness of her skin, the silkiness of her hair. "You don't have to keep thanking me. I'm not doing this for gratitude. I'm doing it…" He trailed off, trying to figure what to say, how best to describe it or if he even should. He was doing all of this because he couldn't stop himself. He was doing it because when he'd seen her again the day before, when he'd looked into her eyes, that had been it, even though he'd tried to deny it to himself. He couldn't stop helping Zoey, being around Zoey, anymore than he could stop craving air and water.

Even now he knew that the smart thing to do would be to fight it but he was way past that point. He'd been past that point since he saw her in the garden after Leo's funeral the day before, he silently admitted.

"Zoey?" When she didn't reply, he shifted so that he could look down at her face. She was sound asleep.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

It was quiet. The Secret Service agents were in their posts outside and around the Residence but no one else seemed to be around.

She'd expected nothing else. It was four am and there wasn't currently a national or international crisis. Her father took his sleep when he could get it.

She walked down the hall toward her bedroom with her detail following. She'd fallen asleep. For the first time in months she'd fallen into a deep sleep in just minutes. And for the first time in a long time she hadn't had a nightmare.

It had been hours before she'd woken up. Sam had shifted them so that they were both lying on their sides on the sofa and she was cuddled against him.

She'd apologized but Sam had smiled and said that a few more evenings like that one and the rings under her eyes would be gone.

"Zoey?"

She froze. So much for sneaking in. She slowly turned her head to see her mother standing in the doorway to the Residence kitchen wearing her robe.

"I made some tea when the agents notified me that you were on your way in."

Zoey followed her mother into the kitchen. She should have known. In her teens, she'd tried to sneak in to the house in Manchester a few times and a couple of times she'd even tried to sneak out of a hotel on the campaign trail. Her mother always caught her. Always.

Abbey poured a mug of tea for each of them and took a seat at the table, indicating for Zoey to sit across from her. "I was concerned when I couldn't find you earlier."

"I met a friend for dinner."

Abbey raised an eyebrow. "It's after four am. Surely it couldn't have taken you that long to eat."

Zoey shrugged.

"Who did you meet?"

"Does it matter? I'm an adult." Zoey held back a wince at the defensive tone of her voice.

"Honey, your father and I were concerned when we realized that you weren't here. We thought the three of us could have dinner together."

"I'm sorry you were worried. I didn't realize that I have to give you a schedule of my activities." Zoey saw the look of shock and hurt go over her mother's face. "I'm sorry Mom, for snapping at you. I would have let you know that I was going out but I didn't know until a few minutes before I left."

Abbey took a sip of her tea. "I know you didn't mean to snap at me Zoey."

"I would have been home earlier but I fell asleep." She gave a self-deprecating smile.

Abbey blinked. "You fell asleep?"

"Yep."

"I must say, I really am curious to know who you were with."

Zoey hesitated. If she told her mother her father would know by morning. Abbey would probably react pretty badly to the idea that she was dating Sam Seaborn but her father…. She didn't even want to consider what her father's reaction would be.

They'd list the reasons a relationship between herself and Sam couldn't work. Reasons she was already very aware of. The close to twenty year age difference. The fact that she and Sam lived on separate coasts. She was still in graduate school, Sam had been out of school half of her life.

Yet, she knew how tenacious her mother could be. Her mother wasn't going to let her get away with not telling her. It would be easier not to fight the inevitable.

"I had dinner with Sam."

"Sam?"

"Sam Seaborn."

They sat in silence for a full minute while the First Lady digested that information. "Your father told me that Sam stopped by to see you earlier today."

Zoey held her mother's gaze but said nothing.

"You had dinner with a man twice your age and didn't get home until the early hours of the morning. Do you know how that would look to the press?"

"The press doesn't know and I really don't care what they would think if they did know. My life is my business, no one else's."

She'd always felt that she knew her daughter well. Since Zoey was a toddler she'd known the girl's dreams and goals, her likes and dislikes, and her crushes. During Jed's first campaign Zoey had had a fierce crush on Sam. Abbey was pretty sure that her daughter didn't realize that she knew.

Even since the kidnapping Abbey had felt confident that she knew Zoey but in the last few days, she'd wondered if she might have been wrong. Until last night she hadn't known that Zoey was having nightmares.

Today, she'd studied her daughter while Zoey ate and reminisced about a game of White House hide-and-go-seek. She noticed the things that she'd previously missed. The rings under Zoey's eyes, enhanced by lack of sleep. The gauntness of Zoey's cheeks and the pallor of her face. Her daughter was thin, perhaps dangerously so.

She was a doctor and Zoey's mother but she hadn't noticed any of those things until today. She'd also noticed the light that came to Zoey's eyes when she spoke of Sam, and the relaxed posture of Zoey's body when she spoke of him.

Now to find out that not only had Sam come to visit Zoey today but that Zoey had had dinner with him? It was surprising for Abbey. Sam had always had a soft spot for Zoey. The entire Senior Staff and most of the Senior Assistants had always had a soft spot for Zoey. To Abbey's knowledge none of them had made a purposeful visit to the young woman or asked her out to dinner.

She liked Sam and respected him. Jed did as well. She knew that Jed wanted Sam to come stay in Manchester for a while and write Jed's biography. But the idea of Sam and her baby… During the time she'd known Sam he'd been out with more women than she could name. Most of them, particularly Mallory, still considered him to be a good friend, but still. She didn't want a casual, throw away romance for Zoey. With all that had happened in the last few years she wasn't sure that Zoey could handle something like that.

But if he could make her baby smile, if he could make light come to her eyes for the first time in so long maybe something between them wouldn't be so bad.

She brought her eyes back to Zoey's. "Is this what you want?"

"I feel good when I'm with Sam, safe."

And she needed that, Abbey added silently. "Then I support it. All that I want is your happiness. But Zoey, your father isn't going to support this. One of us has to tell him Zoey. I won't keep things from your father."

"I'll talk with him tomorrow."

"Good." Abbey stood. "And now I need to get some sleep. I have an appointment at 7:30." She walked around the table and laid her hand on Zoey's cheek. "I love you Baby."

"I love you too Mom."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"Good morning Daddy."

Jed looked up from his breakfast to smile at his daughter. "Good morning sweetheart." He gestured to the counter. "There's oatmeal, sliced fresh fruit, toast, and bacon. Turkey, per your mother's orders." He grimaced.

Zoey got a glass of orange juice and a slice of toast and went to sit at the table with her father. She took a small bite of her toast. "I was hoping that I'd catch you before you went down to the Oval."

"Oh? Well you know I enjoy it when we're able to spend some time together. That's one of the things I regret most about the last eight years. I wasn't able to spend as much time as I'd like with my family. It'll be good to have more time to spend with all of you and to be able to get to know Annie and Gus. Do you realize that Gus has never known me when I wasn't the President?"

Zoey fiddled with her toast, tearing it into small pieces. "You know I went out last night?"

"Yes. Your mother told me when you got home. You had us both concerned Zoey. Your cell phone was off so we couldn't call you." He paused. "I thought about tracking you through the Secret Service."

"Daddy."

"I didn't actually do it." He didn't add that he would have tracked her, but his wife wouldn't let him.

"I was safe," she said softly.

He sighed. "I know."

She pushed the plate and the mangled bread laying on it, aside. "I'll let you and Mom know next time." She took a deep breath. "I had dinner with Sam." At the confused look on her father's face, Zoey went on. "Sam Seaborn."

"You had dinner with Sam Seaborn."

"Yes."

"You stayed out with him until the middle of the night."

"Yes."

"May I ask why?"

She held her father's gaze. She'd been up since her discussion with her mother, sitting in her room trying to decide how much to say to her father. She'd decided that what she didn't tell him now, he'd find out later. "It was a date Daddy."

Jed stared at her for several moments. "Was that why he was here yesterday morning?"

"He came to see me yesterday morning because he was concerned about me after Leo's funeral."

"And he asked you to have dinner with him," Jed surmised. "You were with him until the middle of the night. Where did you and Sam go Zoey? Most restaurants are closed by four am."

"We had room service in Sam's hotel room." She saw the anger building on her father's face and quickly went on. "I wouldn't have been there that long but I fell asleep."

"You fell asleep," Jed repeated. "You fell asleep in the hotel room of a man twice your age, while on a date with him."

"It wasn't… it wasn't how it sounded. You know I haven't been sleeping well."

"He isn't good for you Zoey. He's a lot more experience than you are sweetheart. He's using you."

"We're not talking about some random guy I just met. We're talking about Sam Seaborn. We've known him for years. Do you really think that he would use anyone?" She stood up. "The relationship just began but I care about him Daddy. I'm going to see him regardless of your opinion but I'd rather you support me."

After his daughter had gone, Jed stood and went down to the Oval Office. He called his secretary into the room. "Get Sam Seaborn here for me, Debbie."

"Yes, Mr. President."

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