Chapter 4
"What?" Dirge rose up from his seat in confusion, glaring at Ramjet.
Ramjet, startled, slowly responded. "Yeah. Megatron made it perfectly clear that in order to get back into his 'good graces', you'll have to figure out how to do it on your own." He eyed Dirge warily, and leaned back to keep his distance from his seething teammate.
"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" Dirge cried, running his hands down his face in desperation. He paced back and forth through the room and through his arms up in the air in defeat. "That's it. I'm going to die! We're all going to die! How am I supposed to figure this out? Slaggit, this is all that damn human's fault!"
"Would you shut up?" Ramjet injected, unsuccessfully trying to get Dirge to calm down. "We just have to figure this whole thing out, and screaming like a sparkling isn't going to help us!"
Dirge kicked the wall and sighed. He really hated the situation. Why was it always him? He swiftly turned and glowered at Ramjet. "Well, you got any ideas? This is your problem too; if I get kicked out, we all get kicked out." He dropped down into his chair, sinking into the seat with his arms crossed.
"Why don't we just attack the ARK?" Ramjet inquired after a moment's pause. He leaned back in his seat as if in thought, and then added, "It's the only thing Megatron likes to do more than beating you up, anyway."
Dirge rolled his eyes and glared at Ramjet in agitation. "Are you an idiot?"
Ramjet looked up sharply in surprise. He thought it was a good plan. He glared back, a slight hiss in his tone betrayed his own annoyance. "What?"
"That's got to be the worst plan I've ever heard! Storming the Autobots' main base of operations where a majority of their army is probably stationed? That's definite suicide." He was tempted to slap Ramjet right on the head, but he just didn't have the energy for it at the moment. "What are you even thinking?"
"Well we have to do something! Energon is difficult to come by even WITH the whole Decepticon army at Megatron's disposal so we can't go looking for that, so our only choice is to go against the Autobots! What else can we do?"
Dirge groaned and threw his arms up in frustration, again. He sat up and put a hand on his head. "But on our own? We'd be completely outnumbered; we'd get killed immediately. And I don't know about you, but I'm not in the mood to get slagged any time soon!" The intonation of his voice rose, nearly betraying his own fear.
"Sissy."
"Shut up!"
"You're probably right though." Ramjet agreed after a moment, looking back up at Dirge. "We would get killed on the spot; but we can still try and find some way." He paused, thoughtful, then asked, "Where's Thrust? He should be back by now. Maybe he's got an idea."
"Thrust?" Dirge groused. "I don't need that snarky idiot distracting me." Thrust was well known for being a general pain and public annoyance, even towards his own team. Dirge really didn't need the distraction at the moment.
"Yeah you're right, he probably wouldn't even go with you. Hell, even I'm not going to go with you the entire way. This was all your fault in the first-"
Before he could finish his sentence, the doors to the quarters slid open to reveal Thrust. Sauntering in, the red mech grabbed a vacant spot by the wall on left of the room and leaned on the empty space. He dipped his head to face his teammates. "What about not going? Where are we not going?"
Ramjet turned to face his red teammate who had suddenly made his appearance, and responded, "Dirge has to come up with a plan to get us back into Megatron's 'good graces'." Ramjet replied, making quote symbols with his fingers.
"What, Dirge? Oh primus, we're doomed!" Thrust guffawed, throwing his head back to meet the wall.
Dirge growled. "Shut up, both of you!" He was getting impatient, sometimes they just never knew when to stop talking. "You're not helping!"
"Do you even have anything so far? Any ideas, at all?" Thrust asked, looking up at the ceiling. He then chuckled to himself and said, "Let me guess, trained chimps?"
Dirge glared. "No. Even worse. Ramjet here just suggested we go straight to the Autobots' base and just start shooting at everything that moves."
"I never said that!"
Thrust threw his head back in laughter, "Man, 'Jet. I knew you were a bit blunt when it comes to things, but holy scrap! You've got to be kidding!"
Ramjet leaned his head on his arms, an expression of irritation gracing his features. "What else can we do, Thrust? It's not like we've got a better plan."
"Don't worry, idiot." He grinned. "I've got one."
Dirge's eyes narrowed a fraction and then inclined his head toward Thrust, arms crossed and posture tight. "And what would that be?"
His grin turned devilish. "Sabotage."
"Sorry?" Dirge asked, his voice a low and irritated grumble. "Care to elaborate?" His tone rose to a harsh tone, harsher than it usually was when addressing his teammates even when they acted like idiots a majority of the time, but the situation called for it. He couldn't afford to have Thrust continue to waste his time. He needed his full attention, and by Primus he was going to make sure he had it.
Thrust shrugged, ignoring the obvious edge that surfaced in his commander's tone. He unfolded his arms in order to saunter over in a loose-limbed and informal way toward one of the chairs in the room. He didn't take a seat, but he rested his hand on the back of the chair, leaning over it towards Dirge as if to exaggerate his point. "It's really simple, actually. It doesn't even require that much work."
Dirge pinched the bridge of nose in irritation. "Well?" He wanted to slap Thrust across the head but he knew that would accomplish nothing, so begrudgingly, he waited for Thrust to respond.
Thrust, moved from his previous position of leaning over the chair, had taken a seat. "Like I said, the plan is simple. All you need to sabotage the Autobots' base is to plant a bomb. A touch and go operation! You would set a timer, and you'd be in and out in no time before anyone can see you." He grinned. "See, I'm not as dumb as you both make me out to be."
Ramjet stared at Thrust from his seat in disbelief. "Wow, Thrust. That's… that's actually a good plan. How on Earth did you figure that out?"
"I just assumed it was obvious." He tried holding a straight face, but failed and his crooked smirk gave him away. "Nah, I'm kidding. I got it from a human movie that I tried checking out on their wireless info hub. I think it was called 'Mission Impossible'."
Dirge rolled his eyes. "What were you doing browsing their information network?"
"I was bored!" Thrust huffed, sinking into his seat; "There's never anything to do around here."
The plan was no sudden development. It took a lot of careful plotting and planning – well, as careful as you can be with these three coneheads. Thrust had tried to explain the details of his plan to the best of his ability. The idea was simple enough; Dirge simply had to plant a bomb above the ARK, set the timer, and get out of there as fast as possible without getting caught. The only problem they seemed to have encountered was the only crucial part of their plan – the bomb.
Dirge shook his head. He had no idea where he was going to get a bomb. There was no way Megatron would grant them access to the armory after what had happened, and Hook wouldn't even let them get ten feet near his lab. Thrust had suggested building one from scratch, but Dirge shot him down right away, reminding him that none of them had any engineering experience either.
They all sat there for a few minutes pondering, and Dirge was about to give up and accept his doom until Ramjet spoke up again.
"Well, why don't we just take one off Bombshell?" He said, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms, sinking into his weight and glancing up at the other two coneheads with a thoughtful expression. "I mean, him and the other insecticons are almost never on base. I'm beginning to think that they actually live in the forest with all the time they spend there ingesting organic matter."
Thrust's smirk flashed up in appreciation of an approach so different from any Dirge had ever heard come from Ramjet, though in Thrust's case he was probably more appreciative of the fact that Ramjet was showing some brains for once. Neither of them had heard their teammate divulging in any plans as much as he was in this one. Dirge nodded slowly and waited for Ramjet to continue.
Lifting his head to face Dirge, he resumed speaking. "We all know he loves creating different kinds of explosives for fun, so why wouldn't he have a few that he didn't give to Megatron? For all we know he could have a whole box full of high powered explosives just ready for the taking."
Thrust stared at Ramjet in amusement, "Wow 'Jet, did you figure that out yourself? Like I said, I know you can be blunt when it comes to well, anything, but you've never been so packed with ideas… you sure you aren't glitching or something?"
Ramjet, irritated, bit out an angry growl. "What did you say, slagger?" He was about to move from the wall to throw a punch a Thrust when Dirge abruptly grabbed his shoulder and kept him pressed against the wall. Ramjet turned to direct his glare at Dirge, but Dirge wasn't facing him.
Dirge sent his own glare to Thrust. "Thrust, you need to shut up before I let him beat the slag out of you." He glowered, and then, while still holding Ramjet down, he turned towards him with an exhausted expression. "Thank you, Ramjet, for the idea. It really is a decent plan, and I'll start figuring out the right time to collect the bomb right away, but I don't need the two of you to start a fight in our own slagging quarters." He looked between the two of them, and released his grasp on Ramjet who in turn leaned back onto the wall with an irritated expression. "I need both of you on the top of your game if we're ever going to appeal to Megatron again. And that means if you have any more ideas, don't slagging hesitate to tell me."
Thrust only laughed again, tapping his helmet at Ramjet. "But we don't want to get too many ideas, do we? Wouldn't want to fry a circuit!" He cackled and pushed back even more into his seat and crossed his legs, resting his chin in hands.
That seemed to be just about all that Ramjet could bear, because he pulled himself from the wall facing Dirge with a look on his face that Dirge found impossible to make out and told him, "Whatever you say, captain." Before leaving the room in a huff. In his anger, Ramjet didn't notice the shadowy figure on the ceiling, listening in on their conversation. As Ramjet stomped out of his room and continued down the hallway, the silhouetted figure crawled away, eager to share his news with his teammates.
