Rewritten for your reading pleasure.

I do not own Inuyasha. It makes me sad, but it's the truth.

Ivy

Chapter three;

Love and the absence

There was a stream that cut through the gardens of Sesshomaru's castle. Knowing his adoptive daughter's love for wild flowers, he'd ordered his servants to go and collect seeds of the most beautiful they could find every fall and plant them in the tall grass of the garden in the spring. The field near the stream was Rin's playground. Closer to the castle were manicured gardens and courtyards, but here near the far Northern walls of the citadel was a haven specifically created for the gentle aesthetic of his beloved little girl. Since Kagome had come to call his home her haven, he had also mandated that there should be a small temple built on the other side of the stream where the castle walls jutted from the great mountain his family home had been constructed near. The castle itself was built upon a plateau that backed against a mountain midway up its height. The river that cut through the garden came from the mountaintop and was filled by snowmelt year round. Only one road led up the face of the plateau to his home and only one huge gate granted access from the ground. The whole of the castle was protected by a mystical barrier put in place upon its construction, which shielded it from everyone except its inhabitants. So well hidden and defended was his home that it was as difficult to find as Naraku's sanctuary had been. Even if his enemies had discovered his home, the Lord was certain that his defenses would protect his ancestral inheritance and the two most precious to his heart that resided within its walls.

He walked with Kagome toward the beautiful field of flowers where Rin had gone to play that morning. He heard the miko's breath catch in her throat as she saw the temple across the stream that had been so carefully and lovingly constructed for her over the months she had been away. "It was made for you. It is your sanctuary, Kagome. Here you may train, meditate and be near Rin, though she has been made aware that she is to leave you alone when ever you close the door to the temple."

"You had this made for me?" Her voice was soft and breathless as she made her way across the stone path in the stream and up the stairs of the small temple. She touched the red paper lanterns with delicate fingertips and an awed smile touched her lips.

"Yes, Lady." He replied reverently as he watched her explore the building. The wood had been carved by master craftsmen, inlaid with gold and silver and silks adorned the walls. At the back was a statue of Buddha and a table for incense and prayer.

She turned to him with sparkling eyes. Her smile poured sunlight on him and he found himself caught in her gaze. "You've given me so much... How could I ever repay you?"

He smiled and moved to her, embracing her gently. She rested against him and trembled. "You repay me by making this your home and accepting Rin and me as family. You repay me by being my friend and healing me when I never have asked you to. You repay me with even this show of tenderness and gratitude. Do not try to find ways to repay me further."

His memory slipped back to the day she had left his castle a full month after he had placed his mark on her brow. The night was black from the hidden moon. Since she had left, the castle had been more quiet than he would have anticipated. Even Rin's companionship had seemed lonely, when once it had been all he needed. He'd fallen in love with the little miko who had given up her whole world for a man who couldn't even see her worth. He wondered, idly, if she'd ever see his and what he could offer her. He walked slowly along the soft earth of the hill where she sat. She was North of his home and, as he approached her, he could smell blood. Her blood. His eyes widened and he quickened his step.

"I'm alright, Sesshomaru. It is only a scratch." Came her soft voice.

He frowned deeply and knelt beside her, looking for the cause of the blood. Along her perfect face was a gash, most likely from a sword or daggar. He caressed her cheek gently. "Who did this to you?"

She blinked back tears and leaned into his touch. The deep blue star on her brow was almost black in the moonless night, as were her eyes. "A soldier. He was too quick."

"Where?"

"Why tell you? So you can add one more corpse to the carnage I could not prevent?"

"Kagome, he hurt you." He said sternly as he continued to look her over. "You are a miko. You are peaceful and, moreso, you are under my protection."

"Don't. Please." She whispered. Her eyes began to glisten. Tears fell down her cheeks, making her wince as they touched the gash, marring her beauty. "I've seen nothing but death today. I couldn't save but a handful and I'm so tired… So very tired… I couldn't even heal myself."

He winced and drew her into his embrace. The blood from her cheek stained the silk of his clothing, but he didn't care. She would say no more of what had happened. How close had she come to death? What if he had come tonight to find her barely clinging to life? No. If she had been that close to death, he would have sensed it. He would have known. Still, the fear was deeply set in his heart. Dead or worse. Human soldiers were not the most honorable creatures during times of war. "Come back with me. Please, Kagome."

She shook her head. She couldn't speak for fear that her voice would break with tears. She only clung to him and took comfort from his presence. He ran his hand through her hair and she trembled, relaxing against him.

Her sobs sent a pang through him and his heart sank when she shook her head to negate his request. "You might be killed."

"Then I would die doing what is right for me to do." She replied in a tearful voice. He held her tighter and she allowed herself to take strength from his presence and warmth. "But I have no intention of dying, Sesshomaru." She murmured and gently gripped the silk of his empty sleeve. She frowned softly and sat up slowly. "May I… May I look at something?"

He tensed when she had gripped his empty sleeve. "It is a mantle to foolishness, Kagome."

"I… Please, just let me look."

He sighed and realized with surprise that he could not say no to her. "You may."

She pushed back the sleeve and saw the stump where his arm had once been. The flesh had healed well and was now smooth. Though, when she focused on the flesh, she could sense it knitting and regenerating. "It.. It's growing back."

He nodded and watched her with interest. "In a few centuries, my arm will return to me."

"I think that… If I try I can speed up the regeneration."

He frowned a bit deeper. "Wouldn't that spend your energy that you could be using to heal yourself or protecting yourself?"

She smiled faintly and met his eyes. "Yes, but only for a night. If you stayed to guard me, I could help you regenerate your arm slowly and you would not have to worry yourself."

"I will always worry for you until I am certain you are safe." He said honestly. "Why do you wish to help me regenerate my arm?"

"Because I feel I owe you my life. I want to give you this even though you don't really need me to help in order for it to regrow… I could speed the process and maybe save you excess pain."

"Pain would be feeling you dying far from my ability to reach you in time to save you." He murmured and noticed the brief flash of disbelief and warmth in her gaze. He reached out and ran his hand through her hair. "Kagome, please come back with me. Where I can protect you. Where you will be safe. Or at least allow me to travel with you."

"For what I need to do, I am more effective on my own." Again she leaned into his hand and he gently gripped her hair at the nape of her neck, but not painfully so. "You are my friend and my protector. I know you wish to take care of me. But I need to do this for myself. For my own view of my worth. When I have done what is in me to do, I will come back to your home. But in the meanwhile, let me help regenerate your arm. Please."

He sighed and pulled her back into his embrace. He had to convince her to return. Then his mind slipped onto an alternative. "I will let you regenerate my arm as much as you are able and still be safe the next day if you promise to return to my home once you have finished and stay there for a full month. If, when that month has elapsed, you still feel the need to return to what you feel are your duties to humanity, I will let you go without a further word on the matter, though I will continue visiting you as I am now. Does that sound like an amiable agreement?"

She sighed and smiled and held even tighter to his torso, resting her head over his heart. She listened to its strong, steady beats and wondered, faintly, in the back of her mind, what it would feel like to have her heart beat in time with his. The thought faded as soon as it came to her. She was human. He could never want her in that way. He could never love her. He was her friend. As dear and true and constant as she'd ever desired. "It is and I agree to it. You really are very adept at getting what you want, aren't you?"

He chuckled and breathed her in. "You have no idea." Though I am certain one day you will… And maybe on that day you will be able to love me in return. My mate. My Kagome.

Months had passed and she had returned before she had needed to, before the time they had set for their deal to be valid. He could not fathom why she had chosen to return, however he hoped that it had something to do with wishing to be near him again and not simple weariness. At the same time, he could not allow himself to hope very long. To have those hope dashed might break him.

She looked up to him and glowed as tears slipped down her face. When he caressed her cheek, she leaned into his touch, causing him to tremble. She smiled faintly. "I've never felt you tremble before, Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western lands."

He smirked and slipped his fingers into her hair. He ran his fingers and claws lightly along the nape of her neck. She shuddered and the faintest cry escaped past her lips. A slow blush kissed her cheeks and her gaze took on a dreamy, tender expression that sent a jolt through him. She was so beautiful it made him ache, so strong she made him weak, so pure he was afraid to touch her, so fragile he was terrified of breaking her. "Perhaps you have found a way to touch my soul."

Her blush deepened as she held his gaze with hers. She studied him and shuddered softly. "You love me..." She whispered, waiting for his response.

He did not look away. He did not want to show her how her words had shocked him through to his core. Had he been so transparent that she could see... Poor foolish Sesshomaru. Of course you have. You've all but rolled your belly in the air for her in submission. He almost scowled at his thoughts but retained his composure. "Yes, Lady."

Her eyes closed slowly and new tears fell down her face. She let herself lean against his chest, holding to him gently for a long while. Finally, she took his right arm and caressed the unfinished wrist where his hand would soon be. She drew him to the cushions and sat. She felt another shudder pass through him as she continued to caress the stump where his hand would be. She could sense his nerves electric under the skin. She closed her eyes and began to work. The warm energy coursed from her into his flesh, slowly accelerating his own regenerative abilities. The sensation was more intense this time. The tingle of her aura sent pleasure through him as each pressure point in his hand was reestablished and formed completely. Finally his claws grew to their normal length and she collapsed against his chest, exhausted. He held her close to him with both of his hands now, rocking her softly. She had not responded except to restore him. There was no mention of loving him in return, only the action. He smiled and tilted her head up so that she was looking at him with a languid, tender gaze. He leaned softly to her and brushed his lips against hers, waiting and silently hoping for a response.

A soft moan met his ears as she weakly leaned into his touch and returned his kiss. He pulled her tighter to him as he deepened their kiss, allowing his love and passion to pass through their connection. She sighed and shuddered and returned his love with her own and a kind of worship he'd never sensed from her before. He broke the kiss just long enough to guage where her mind was. Her eyes sparkled with love and passion for him. Her delicate, tender fingertips reached up, caressing his lips fervently. "My Lord..." She breathed, a look of wonder overtaking her. "Do you want me as your mate?"

He smiled down at her and brushed back some of her ebony strands from her brow. "Yes, Lady." He murmured, capturing her lips again in a passionate kiss. She returned the kiss again with a similar passion and desire. "Do you wish to be my mate, Lady?" He whispered. His lips brushed against hers as he spoke.

"Yes, my Lord..." She breathed and clung to him with what little strength remained in her slender form. He pulled her to him tightly and thanked Kami that he had closed the door to the temple. He gently tilted her head back, supporting her neck with the crook of his arm. He caressed her tender exposed throat and leaned in to take a deep breath of her heady scent. He licked lightly along her jaw, growling softly. He felt her relax and submit partially to him. He smiled and took her throat in his teeth, biting down just enough to bruise. A sharp but musical cry escaped her and she arched lightly to him for an instant before submitting completely. As she did, he released his energies through their contact, setting her nerves and skin on fire as he claimed her entirely. The tiny blue star on her brow appeared, glowing brightly as a crescent moon identical to his formed around it. Another cry slipped past her now ruby lips and her eyes fluttered closed. The slightest change occurred throughout her body. Whatever claim death might have had on her faded away. Her life energies became tied to her mate's and her destiny and fate became unalterably entwined with his. She would live so long as he lived and die when he died, never aging past the moment that he had claimed her.

He released her slowly and began kissing along her throat where he had held her. He heard her panting softly and now and then a soft moan would escape as he laid one of his kisses on her tender skin. He made his way to her lips and captured her again in a deep, passionate kiss. She was still so weak from healing him that she could do little but react to his lovemaking. He laid her down gently on the cushions they sat upon and continued their kiss as he slowly began to undress her. He could feel her life energies flowing into him and through him as his did through her. His mother and father must have felt this intense pairing, certainly. Part of him idly wondered why Inuyasha's mother had ever been made consort to their father when he had such a close union already forged. They hadn't loved each other. You and this human girl love each other and so it will always be like this. It will always be pure bliss and joy with her until the day you die. Your father wanted love and he found that with Inuyasha's mother. His human mother. It was why your mother hated his mother so much. Why she tried to teach you to hate humanity. How close she had come... Close, but not close enough or else this angel wouldn't be in your arms right now. He was brought out of his trance when his hands met her soft, supple skin as he pushed away her kimono. He smiled, breaking the kiss long enough to capture her gaze. Aching sighs reached his ears and her eyes spoke volumes of love and desire to him.

He disrobed and resettled against her. Their skin set on fire as they touched. He was ready and the realization of that fact in Kagome set her in a deep shade of crimson. He could scent her anticipation and need as he caressed open her legs, guiding them along side his hips. He gazed into her eyes lovingly, then captured her throat again as he swiftly broke into her maidenhead, issuing a cry of pain and submission from her. He rested a moment, and then began a slow but enflamed rhythm only releasing his grip on her throat when the first sighs of pleasure escaped her. He kissed her deeply and trembled as she gently gripped his shoulders and her body fell in rhythm with him. He gazed into her eyes, marveling at her beauty and warmth. His instincts demanded he sire a pup in her immediately. The desire was overwhelming and, judging by her scent, she was just on the cusp of her peak fertility. If he did not impregnate her now, he had the next few days to do so and certainly would. He groaned and shuddered as the music of her cries and moans filled his ears and fueled him on. He sensed her on the brink and swiftly pushed her over. With an almost purring moan, she slackened beneath him and she arched her throat once again to him in submission. He smiled and took her by that same tender flesh, creating a new set of bruises as he continued, holding back his final release until he brought her over again. It took much less time and she cried out in a breathless gasp. He could feel her body writhe and shudder hard beneath him once again and it was then that he allowed himself to fall into bliss as well. He groaned softly and released, clutching her to his chest.

She whimpered, spent in his embrace and he took in her scent deeply. He smiled softly and sat up once he had regained his senses, pulling his mate with him. Her naked, fragile form curled weakly against him. He caressed the whole of her and kissed her brow where his mark had formed. "Mine..." He breathed as he cradled her protectively.

"Yes..." She whispered softly as she traced the markings on his torso and arms. Her hands were shaking from fatigue and afterglow. He kissed her lips softly and with great tenderness.

"I will put you to bed, my love." He breathed and wrapped her in her kimono, then dressed himself. He gathered her into his arms again. He made sure to cover her completely before venturing out into the coolness of the coming night. They had spent the better part of the day in their reverie without food or much rest and Kagome had still been recovering from regenerating his arm on the night of the new moon. It was no wonder that she was slacken and prone in his arms. As he walked through the halls of the castle he felt her gather a lock of his hair in her fingers and twirl it gently, taking in its scent. His scent. Had she been more awake and aware, she might have begged him to fly her to their courtyard. He would have denied her request simply because walking through the halls announced their union and put everyone directly in their place. Kagome was his mate. She was an extension of him and was to be treated as such.

Once in his room he laid her on his bed and removed her coverings only to nestle her beneath the silken bedding. He smiled and watched her fall into an exhausted sleep. He caressed her brow and smoothed her silken hair. After a few moments of simply staring at her in wonder, he stood and ordered dinner be brought to them. Then he returned to her side. He lay on top of the blankets and curled around her slight form. He caressed her body over their coverings and breathed in her scent deeply until the food arrived. Shortly before dinner came, he found the change in scent he'd been waiting for and felt his instinctual lust fade into the back of his mind. He did not want to take her because of his feral desires to sire a pup with her. He only ever wanted to make love to her and cherish every part of her.

When the food was brought in and set at the table, he began the task of rousing her. The servants left quickly, to their credit. Most youkai had a keen sense of smell and so it was easily noted that not only had their Lord mated the miko he had settled in his bed, but also she was carrying his pup. It was not an intelligent thing to test his patience by aggravating his instinctual need to protect his new family. He felt himself relax once they had left and, with more intent, began to wake his mate from her short nap. "Wake, love. You need to eat."

She whimpered and curled into his frame, fighting to remain asleep. He felt the sudden desire to grasp her by the throat again, but retained control. He kissed her brow gently and tried again. "I need you to waken just long enough to eat and then I will let you sleep as long as you need, Kagome. Come, it is important."

The tender concern in his voice was what finally roused her from her slumber. She looked up at him with weak and weary eyes. He smiled and kissed her gently, then wrapped her in a blanket and carried her to the table. He fed her for a few moments until she was awake enough to do so herself from where he held her on his lap. He couldn't fathom leaving her side, let alone her presence, and did not intend to until he was certain that the pup that was just beginning to grow was knitted within her securely. When he was convinced she could eat no more, he took her chopsticks and cradled her closer. She sighed and curled tightly against him, beginning to drift off again. "To bed, Lady?"

"Yes, my love..." She murmured, sleep claiming her once again. He stood and laid her back into the bed. He covered her and caressed her brow gently, then kissed her chastely as she slept. He managed to tear himself away from her after a few moments, and then returned to the table to finish his meal. When he was satiated he disrobed and joined his mate in bed. He pulled her against his form and curled around her gently. One hand rested beneath the covers over her belly while the other cradled her form against his chest. He breathed her in again and noted that the faint scent of her pregnancy was deepening in agonizingly small increments. Mine... You are mine and I will kill anyone who dares raise a hand to you, sweet Kagome... Mother of my children. My sweet mate... No harm will ever come to you.

------

She was old and her joints ached every time she moved. Still she busied herself in the herb garden and around her hut preparing medicines for the villagers and remedies for anyone who came through needing her help. She had lived a long and happy life. Soon that would be over, she knew. She didn't fear, however, where her spirit would rest. She feared for her sister, though. Kikyo had been a beautiful woman when she first lived. Though she had never wanted her position as miko and protector of the Shikon no Tama, she had borne her duties with grace if not also with some sorrow and regret. Now, having been given a new soul so that she could live out her life as she wished, Kaede could see the violent and hateful behavior along with the selfish nature that had been inherent in Kikyo as the undead clay miko surfacing again. It frightened her because the old woman was not certain what her sister might do. She had noticed a look of hatred in her eyes. Just flashes as she looked on her husband, Inuyasha. Had she not known what would transpire once Kagome had left his side, giving up her place to Kikyo? Inuyasha realized too late that there was only one who could fit in that place in his heart and if it ever had been Kikyo, it certainly was not now.

She had finished filling her basket with herbs when she saw the youkai messenger riding toward the village. He stopped upon seeing her walking to the road. "Miko, I bring a message for Inuyasha from the Lord Sesshomaru of the Western lands. Have you any idea where he might be?"

"Not at this hour, though I am acquainted with him and could deliver the message to him."

The youkai thought on this a moment and then nodded. He handed the sealed letter to Kaede and bowed from his horse, then rode off in the direction of the mountains. No doubt to Miroku and Sango's home. She put the letter in her basket and walked back to the village slowly. She knew what was in the message without opening it. The way that Sesshomaru had looked upon Kagome in the last year of the conflict with Naraku had spoken volumes on how he felt for the little miko unstuck in time. She doubted many others had seen the change in him but her. After all, she had been the only one tending Kagome that day when she was healing from one of the battles against Naraku's minions. She had also been the only one around when Sesshomaru had brought Kagome to her after that battle, having rushed her to Kaede after she'd fallen. Then he had left without a word and Kaede had been left wondering what had happened.

She had been poisoned by one of Naraku's insects. Her anti-venom that she'd brought from her time would have healed her if the stinger hadn't remained embedded in her side. Though the venom had been neutralized, the wound had become infected and for a short time, Kaede worried that the girl would not survive. Sango and Miroku had gone off in search of herbs for Kaede that would lower Kagome's fever. Inuyasha had gone off hunting for Naraku with Kikyo and when his brother had entered the hut, Shippo was sleeping by the fire while Kaede watched over the girl she'd come to think of as a grand daughter.

He'd nodded and sat near the girl, watching her with his icy gaze. "He wasn't protecting her."

"He was. It is hard to protect one, though when your attention is as divided as your heart." She replied, watching the inuyoukai Lord's gaze.

He pulled a pouch from his belt and handed it to Kaede without even looking to her. The old woman took it. "A rare herb that only grows near my home. When I saw her fall I feared this would be the outcome. It will break her fever far easier than anything you might have here."

"I did not know ye cared, Lord Sesshomaru."

He seemed to soften as he looked at Kagome's pale, weakened countenance. It almost seemed for a fleeting instance that if he had been alone he might have smoothed her glistening brow with his cool hand. It was then Kaede realized he loved Kagome and would do anything it took to ensure she survived the final battle with Naraku. When he spoke, his words only enforced that belief in her. "She is... Remarkable. Take care she heals, old woman. I will be watching." He moved to the door but paused at the lintel. "Do not speak of this to anyone. I do not want my actions to be known lest they alert my bastard brother. Do you understand, old woman?"

"Yes, Lord Sesshomaru. Ye are quite clear."

He nodded again and left as suddenly as he came. After the final battle with Naraku, when Sango had relayed to her what had transpired between Sesshomaru and Kagome, then Sesshomaru and Inuyasha after Kagome had retreated into the forest, Kaede was certain that they need have no fear for the time traveling miko.

"She will be fine on her own."

"How can you know that old woman?" Inuyasha had asked crassly. The only thing that had stopped him from following her had been that he could no longer track her scent.

"Kagome is a strong woman and capable of defending herself. Ye cannot tell me that she would be unequipped or in danger when she was able to help defeat Naraku."

"She shouldn't be out there alone, though." Sango had said softly. "She's lost so much, she needs her friends."

"She has a friend, I think." Kaede replied softly. "Your own half brother, Inuyasha. He watches her as ye once did before my sister was resurrected. If she were in danger, ye can be certain he will tend her. "

Inuyasha looked as if he were about to explode. "He can't..." He said through gritted teeth. "He doesn't deserve her."

"That's up for debate, Inuyasha." Miroku said softly, no longer afraid of inciting his friend's true ire. The fact was now they were on the same level. Inuyasha looked at him incredulously. "He saved her life, Inuyasha. He brought her back from the dead and seemed to honestly care about her welfare. He didn't need to assist us in the final battle, but he did. And from his parting words, I think that, aside from the desire to defend his own lands from Naraku, he did what he did to protect and save Kagome."

This gave Inuyasha pause. He sighed and looked defeated. All the while Kikyo was watching him intently with something akin to jealousy in her gaze. "I know, Miroku. I might be hotheaded and a little dense sometimes, but I'm not stupid. I guess I just got caught up in an old habit of wanting to be her protector."

"She gave you someone else to protect. The someone you have been longing to protect since before Kagome freed you from the tree." Miroku said softly and touched his friend's shoulder. "She gave us our lives back, Inuyasha. We owe her to be happy. It's what she wanted."

Kaede had never seen Inuyasha so broken in half than as he accepted Miroku's words and had decided to go on with his life. She found him now leaning against a large tree he seemed particularly fond of in the village. Something had transpired between her sister and him, but she had never thought to ask nor did she want to know. Her advanced years made her ache for peace in her final days and so she had chosen to ignore for what good it did her. In her heart she still felt that her sister should have been left to fade away and find her peace once more. However, it wasn't her decision. Kagome's selfless heart so full of love had made the final choice. She wondered idly whether or not the little miko would regret that decision one day.

"I bear ye a message from your brother, Inuyasha." She said, breaking through his quiet and, from the look on his face, unpleasant thoughts.

"What does he want?" He grumbled and took the sealed letter from Kaede.

"I am not certain, though he sent it by messenger."

He mumbled something about his holier than thou brother and opened the seal. He read slowly, his gaze becoming graver. "I... I don't believe it."

"What is it?" Kaede asked, sitting and resting beside him. He handed it to her and she read slowly.

To my half-brother, Inuyasha;

I am writing to invite you and your mate to my castle for the celebration of my union with the fair miko, Kagome. The celebration will be held in a month. Accommodations will be provided for you for the duration of your stay. Kagome has asked that you bring the miko, Kaede with you. She says that the old woman has expertise that she could benefit from in her current condition and I am loath to deny her anything. Her happiness is all that matters. Feel free to arrive as early or late as you see fit.

The Lord Sesshomaru of the Western Lands.

She could not help but smile as she finished the letter. It seemed her prayers had been answered and the little miko was happy and, from the hinting of her mate, expecting his heir. She looked to Inuyasha and scowled at his expression. "Be happy for the girl, Inuyasha."

"Why should I?" He sounded bitter and childish.

"Because she sacrificed her life for ye and deserves us all to be happy for her. After what she gave ye to find your own way and realize your dreams with my sister, ye owe her to be happy that she has found love and happiness."

He sighed and looked at his very human hands. "How can I? I love her."

"Then it should make it all the more easy for ye to be happy for her, Inuyasha. Love, when it is true, rejoices even when the happiness felt does not involve its owner." She stood and began walking to her hut. "I will be ready in a few days to leave. Mind ye and Kikyo are as well."

He watched the old woman walk away and shook his head. She hadn't any idea what had happened between Kikyo and him. How could she? He looked back at the invitation and spat. He would pretend to be happy for her. Pretend to love his mate. Pretend because if he didn't it would hurt her. If he didn't pretend, the world would fall apart.