DUDE YOU GUYS THIS CHAPTER IS THIRTY-FOUR PAGES LONG HOW THE FUCK DID I DO THAT?

Chapter 4. She Blinded Me With Science

Mikau had been suitably blown away by the summary of events. So much so, in fact, that it took two people to hold Dark back from drawing on him with a silver sharpie. They were in a coffee shop as Link told the story, helped and hindered at appropriate moments by the others involved. As soon as he could move again, Mikau got up and led them all back to the trashed practice room.

After he was done shouting at his friends for putting themselves in so much danger, Mikau threw an arm around Dark's neck and declared him an honorary roadie.

"You're neat, Mikau." Dark grinned. "Link, your friend is neat."

"We like him," Link agreed. "So that's what me and mine were doing this year. What about you?"

"Um," Mikau gestured at the poster Dark had laid on the table. "This."

"Well, yeah, we know that. Your Hyspace page gets more hits than that blonde with the butterfly tattoo on her face. But what have you been doing?"

Mikau stared at the table for a long moment. "You saved the world…and you want to know if I'm stressed?"

"Pretty much."

"Of course I'm fucking stressed!" He waved his arms frantically. "This band has existed for less then two years! We didn't get our first gig for nearly six months. Now we're famous. We've been on TV. People recognize me on the street. And Even is worried because he thinks we're going to kick him out which is bullshit but there's no way I can convince him of that, I seriously think Japas might have been abused by his parents in some way, and Lulu? A couple weeks ago, Lulu thought she was pregnant." He slumped over the table. "Turns out it was just stress messed with her cycle. I didn't know that could happen. But it was especially scary because we do use protection. I'm not stupid." Mikau rested his head on the tabletop and folded his arms over his skull. "Gods I've missed you guys…"

Ralph glanced at Link. Just a glance, but over the last few months Link had gotten a lot better at understanding the world around him and the people in it.

He stood up. "Okay, here's what we're going to do. Me, Kafei, and Ralph are going to take Mikau and we're going to find a movie theater and watch something with explosions. Then, we're going to go to that little arcade on the boardwalk and get our asses handed to us by twelve-year-olds at DDR. And then, we're going back to Telma's and we're going to find out if she's the kind of person who thinks it's okay if teenagers drink as long as they have supervision. Sound good?"

Ralph was smiling. "Sounds good."

"Gonna have a 'guys day,' then?" Zelda said.

"Seems like a good idea, is all."

"No, you're right." She stood up too. "Ladies? Shall we?"

"Lets," Nayru agreed with a smile.

Everyone got up and split into two groups, leaving Dark stranded between them. He glanced from one to the other, looked down at himself, and finally said, "I'm gonna find some goths."

Link paused. "Uh, you know, you can come with us? I mean… you're good at making things fun. And, um, I know you don't like being on your own…"

"I won't be on my own. I'm finding goths."

"All right, but… You call Ralph. If you need us."

"I will. I'm okay. You guys have fun. Reconnect." He grinned, the reassuring one.

"All right," Link said again.

They split up, the guys heading downtown, the girls going in the general direction of the beach, and Dark pursing his lips thoughtfully and heading back into the theater to ask for directions to the library.

It wasn't until they were close enough that the lake was glistening at them between buildings, that Anju stopped and asked, "What happened to Malon?"

zzz

The local library was, appropriately, a large old-fashioned stone building, with broad stairs and huge doors. All that were missing were the vestigial pillars and bas-relief carvings and it could have been a temple. It was, in a way. A Temple of Learning.

Dark laughed aloud at his own joke, and made a mental note to share it with someone later.

As he got closer he peered down the sidewalk, looking for anyone in scene clothes. There was a bunch of kids, a couple of bored-looking middle-aged women, someone who was almost completely hidden by a stack of books, and –bingo!– a girl dressed all in black.

Dark took off running. "Hey!" Some of the kids looked up, but the girl was turning a corner. "Hey!"

A glimpse of blue out of the corner of his eye. A quick movement and a muffled exclamation. Then something crashed into Dark, bowling him completely over.

There was a moment of Pain and stars, and someone who was not him groaning, then Dark blinked the flashes out of his eyes and took stock. His head hurt, his right elbow hurt, his tailbone hurt, and, for some reason, his lip hurt. But that was not important because there was someone Laying on him. They felt thin, but solid. Decently muscled. Male for sure, and as Dark's vision returned he looked down to see a head of reddish hair, smelling pleasantly of pear shampoo. Pear Shampoo. This moment alone made it worth the capitals.

"Ow," Dark said, belatedly.

"Bloody hell," the Person on top of him muttered, and Dark felt his breath catch in his throat. They had an Accent. One of those smooth clipped ones that made the speaker sound intelligent even when they weren't.

They pushed themselves up just enough to meet Dark's eyes, and Dark stopped breathing entirely.

Blue. Deep blue. The deepest darkest blue Dark had ever seen in eyes. Framed by round gold wire-framed glasses and creamy skin with enough brown in it to indicate it would tan nicely if the owner ever got some sun. The hair, ruddy more then red, was parted neatly on one side and held firmly in place with some kind of product, except for one curl that had escaped and hung above the owner's eye. A soft mouth, lips parted in surprise, and perfect high cheekbones that any model would kill for.

"Bloody hell…" the Person said again, this time almost reverently. "You- You're-" He stopped, those epic eyes focusing in on Dark's face. "You're bleeding!"

"What?" Dark said vaguely. Most of his brain was busy trying to capture this moment in his memory, while the rest focused on trying to figure out if someone so Overwhelmingly Adorable could really exist.

"Your lip!" the Person exclaimed. His Accent made every word Music to Dark's ears. "I am so sorry! Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

"You could get off me before this gets really embarrassing."

The Person looked at Dark for two full seconds before the meaning dawned on him. Then he threw himself off of Dark, cheeks flushed pink.

"I am so sorry!" he said again.

"It's okay, really," Dark said, deciding from the Person's reaction that it would not be wise to admit it had made his day. Instead he sat up and looked around. They were merely feet from the library, books scattered all around. The kids and the women from earlier had apparently decided the altercation was none of their business and disappeared into the building. Dark and his new Favorite Person in the World were the only ones for a block.

Speaking of the Person, he had dug into one of the many pockets on his khakis and produced a white handkerchief, not exactly pristine white, but the white of something that had been used and washed repeatedly. He handed it to Dark without looking at him, blush still coloring his cheeks.

"Thanks," Dark said. He looked at it curiously. There was an S monogrammed on one corner, the blue stitching also faded with time.

"Your lip," the Person said awkwardly.

"Huh?"

"You're bleeding."

"I am?"

The Person's mouth twitched. "Yes."

Dark touched the handkerchief to his mouth experimentally, and sure enough it came back with a rather large red spot. "Oh. Huh. That ain't good."

"No it's not," the Person agreed, definitely smiling now. "Are you all right?"

"A little banged up, but I don't bruise easy. Are you all right?"

The Person nodded. "Yes. I'm really sorry about that."

"Nah, it was my fault too. I wasn't looking where I was going."

"Well, er." The Person seemed to want to say something else, but gave up and started picking up his books.

Dark took this opportunity to scope him out properly. He appeared to be about the same age as Link and his friends, and had the careful grooming of someone who wasn't afraid of getting dirty but didn't see the point of not looking your best when you had the chance. He was wearing khaki shorts, the knee-length ones with pockets and straps for tools that no normal teenager would carry, and a faded blue polo shirt buttoned all the way to his neck. A battered brown belt held the pants up, not quite matching his travel-stained hiking boots. Looking closer, under the pretense of helping gather the books, Dark noticed that the belt had numerous worn places and scratches, as though it had more purpose then just fighting gravity. The pants were the same. Even the little loop that was meant to carry a hammer had some rust stains, as though it had at some point actually held a hammer.

From about the waist up this person was pure Nerd, the most stereotypical and downright cute Nerd Dark had ever seen. But those little clues…

Dark looked down at the book in his hand. "'Frauds, Myths, and Mysteries?'"

"Oh, that's one of mine," the Nerd said. "It's about archeological hoaxes and why those people who think aliens built the Temple of Time are nutters."

That explained a lot. "Archeology, huh?"

"Yes. I'm a student." The Nerd sat back on his haunches, carefully balancing the stack he'd collected so far, and held out his hand for the book. "Thank you."

"No, let me," Dark said. "Why don't you give me some of those too?"

"I can handle it." The Nerd sounded sure, and he most likely was.

"Yeah but you already tripped once."

"The library is right here."

"With big stone stairs! You could hurt yourself!"

The Nerd smiled in spite of himself and ducked his head shyly. Gods damn he was Adorable. "Well, all right."

There was some shuffling of books and a precarious moment when Dark stood up too fast and got dizzy, but they eventually made it off the sidewalk.

"I'm just returning these," the Nerd said. "Most of these. A few are mine. Then I'm going to take those few and go find about three more and spend the rest of the afternoon reading them and taking notes and maybe making some photocopies." He fixed Dark with a level gaze. "Just so you know."

"Duly noted," Dark said. "But it's still technically morning."

"So?"

"So you'll need to have lunch at some point. And you can't eat in the library."

"Well, yes, but I don't see your point."

"If you're going to be eating, and I'm going to be eating, we might as well eat together." Dark grinned broadly at his logic, the effect somewhat spoiled by the drop of blood he could feel sliding down his chin.

The Nerd stared at him, not blushing anymore but looking genuinely stunned. "Are you- Are you asking me out?"

"Yuh-huh."

"Why?"

"Because…you're hot?" Dark shrugged. "Why wouldn't I?"

The Blush was back in full force. "You're mad."

"Entirely possible!" Dark agreed cheerfully. "So what do you say?"

The Nerd ignored him, and pushed one of the massive doors open with his shoulder. Dark followed him through a huge echoing lobby, complete with soda machines off to one side, and a display about the summer reading program. The Nerd moved like a man with a Purpose, straight across the scuffed stone floor and through another set of doors at the back.

And there it was; the warm hush of a book depository. The smell of old paper and fresh ink. There weren't many people there, except for all the children gathered in the section with the most construction paper on the walls. A few older people reading the paper in the seating area between fiction and non-fiction. One or two parents browsing John Grisham. There was an area with desks near the back, the room was so big Dark could barely make it out, but it looked completely deserted.

Made sense. It was summer.

Dark followed the Nerd to the massive multi-part desk to their left. Signs hanging from the ceiling identified which part was which. Returns, Search, Library Cards. Dark wondered if three weeks was too little time to waste on getting one, and whether it would impress the Nerd if he did.

The woman at the Returns part of the desk smiled when she saw the Nerd approaching. She was "of a certain age" and seemed to have settled into the librarian mold with gusto.

"Good morning, Shad," she greeted him warmly.

"Good morning Mrs. Baker," he replied, maneuvering his stack of books onto the counter. Dark was somewhat pleased to note he sounded distracted. Ha!

"Who's your friend?"

Shad started to answer, freezing and looking near-panic when he realized he didn't know.

"My name is Dark," he said helpfully, putting his books next to Shad's.

"Really?" Shad blurted out.

Dark shrugged. "It's the only name I've got."

"Oh, er. I'm Shad."

"Nice to meet you!" Dark grinned.

The librarian was glancing between them. "So you don't know each other?"

"Just ran into each other outside," Dark said with a little laugh. "But I'd like to know him more."

Shad flushed and grabbed three of the books. "You… I've got to go. Work."

Dark watched him as he rushed off, not letting the grin drop. As soon as Shad ducked behind a shelf, Dark turned to the librarian.

"You know him pretty well?"

"No, not really. He's been coming in every day for two weeks now. Studying the temple and the ruins outside of town. But he seems like a nice kid, it couldn't hurt for him to make a friend."

"I will have to see what I can do about that," Dark said solemnly. "Where is the archeology section?"

"Right over there, see the sign with the Dewey Decimal system on it?" She pointed.

"Yep! Thanks."

"You're bleeding, you know."

"Oh, right." Dark still had the handkerchief held between two fingers, and pressed it to his mouth. "Ew. Uh, is there any such thing as lip bandaids?"

The librarian chuckled. "Afraid not. You'll just have to let it stop on its own."

"Phooey. So much for the winning grin."

"Can't hurt to try."

"Can if he hits me." Dark grinned in spite of the injury. "But you know? I think this one is worth it."

Shad was in the reference section, already equipped with two more books and scanning the shelves for another.

Dark approached with exaggerated casualness, nearly strutting. "So hey."

Shad just glared at him.

"You didn't give me an answer."

"No…" he agreed, reluctantly. "I didn't."

"Well?"

"I… I can't." He looked down at the books in his arms. "I'm sorry, I am, but I can't."

"Why not?" Dark paused. "Oh, ooh, it's not because I'm a guy, is it? I mean, I'm usually pretty good at reading people so I thought-"

"No, no," Shad interrupted him. "It's not… Well, I'm not out-out, I don't try to advertise it. But I am. Er, gay." He dropped his voice at the last word, and swallowed hard before continuing. "I'm just busy. Research papers don't write themselves. And that is so cheesy I cannot believe I just said it." He sighed and bumped his head against the shelf.

Dark laughed. "It's okay. You don't need to worry about making a good impression on me. I already want to date you, remember?"

"But." Shad shook his head. "You're not listening. I spend as much time as I can out at the ruins, and then I've got to come back here and compare all my notes to things people have written before. Not to mention comparing the ruins to each other. And it doesn't help that the Lake Temple has been closed for weeks."

"It has? What happened?"

"I have no idea. It was just a few days before I got here."

"Oh, you're not a local then?"

"No. I told you, I'm a student. I go to the university in the capital."

"Whoa, college boy?" Dark blinked. "But you look- How old are you?"

"Eighteen. I, er, I'm a genius." He Blushed again. "I'm starting my third year."

"Wow!"

"And as a college boy I have a lot of research to do, so I don't have time to be- be chatted up by someone wearing their little sister's t-shirt."

Dark glanced down. Okay, so the shirt was kind of tight on him and emblazoned with a pink kitten. But… "I like this shirt."

"Which does not improve my opinion of you," Shad huffed.

"This from a guy in a fully-buttoned polo shirt."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that you look like a complete and utter nerd."

"I am a nerd," Shad snapped. "I don't like it, but I've accepted it. You start college at sixteen and you're basically marked as a nerd for the rest of your life."

"And the polo shirt?"

"I just think it looks nice…"

"Well I think I look nice in girl's shirts. So what's the big deal?"

"I don't know," Shad admitted.

"I got lectured about this earlier," Dark said. "I was informed, in no uncertain terms, that I dress like a slut. But you know? I don't care. I'm easy, let's face it, and if I like showing off my body that's my business."

Shad said nothing, fingering the spine of a book. "Why…are you doing this? You don't even know me."

"But I want to. Isn't that why people date in the first place?"

Shad chewed on his lower lip, and Dark had to grab onto the bookshelf to keep from jumping him right there.

"All right, all right, fine. If you want to have lunch with me so bad I suppose I can't stop you anyway."

"Damn straight," Dark agreed. He grinned, for full effect, and Shad looked at him with the… oddest expression. It was almost how Mikau had looked at him a few hours ago, when it sunk in just exactly What he was. Like he was some kind of Strange Creature that Shad could not hope to understand…

For the first time in a long time, Dark was struck by the realization of what other people must see when they looked at him. Black hair, black clothes, darkish skin that was just half a shade off of a natural color. And the kinds of clothes. Tight or baggy, zippers and chains and dozens of pockets for no good reason. Whenever he did wear underwear, it was pink or black or had skulls on it or belonged to a girl at some point. His eyes were red with vertical cat pupils. They glowed at night and when he was angry, and he'd never quite learned how to control the brightness. He had fangs.

And, if the feeling of dried something on his face and the taste in his mouth was any indication, his chin was covered in blood.

"Did you, uh… Did you really just say yes?"

Shad jerked his eyes away guiltily, and nodded. "I suppose. But, I really am busy. So I want to make sure it's clear, this is it. I will have lunch with you and if, afterward, I say I don't want to see you again, you will leave me alone." He paused briefly. "I know a woman who has a shotgun."

"I will," Dark said. "Really. I don't like to force people into things they don't want to do."

Shad gave him a flat stare.

"Really! But you didn't give me an answer and then it looked like you were only saying no because you were embarrassed or scared and you are incredibly hot so I just wanted to make sure you gave me a fair chance. Because you are incredibly hot."

Shad's face was flaming red, but he didn't stop staring. "I said my piece. Now go away so I can work."

"Okay. I'll see you at about…twelve-thirty?"

"Yes, okay, fine. Go away."

"Okay." Dark turned away and walked straight out of the aisle, not even bothering to shimmy his hips as he did. There was something about Shad that said his straightforward 'let's have sex, it'll be good' shtick wasn't going to work.

"And wash your face!" Shad shouted after him.

Dark grinned, a small private one, as a warm feeling washed through him. Shad cared.

He scrubbed at his chin as best he could with the borrowed handkerchief as he walked across the carpeted floor. Any other day and he would have kept it, as a…souvenir. But with the bleeding and all, Dark's much-abused practical side was rearing its head.

He could buy Shad a new one. That would be a good romantic gesture.

Dark was aware of eyes on him. This was not unusual, but recent events made him curious. There was a small child of indeterminate gender peering at him over the bookshelf in the children's section.

Dark smiled. He liked kids. They understood things a lot better then adults, most of the time.

The child squeaked, real fear in those big brown eyes, and dove behind the shelf.

That was different. Even if he did look strange compared to most people, he'd never actually scared a kid before. They usually liked him as much as he liked them. So why…

Another head popped up over the shelf, this one most likely male and wearing a newsboy cap. He examined Dark thoughtfully, said something to someone Dark couldn't see, then left the children's section and walked up to him, bold as salsa.

"Are you a vampire?"

Dark's mouth dropped open. "What? No!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! There's no such thing as vampires!" For the sake of honesty, he added, "There are some things that drink blood or other body juices, but they don't look like me."

"Oh," the newsboy said. "What do they look like?"

"Giant spiders, mostly. Or rotting corpses. They aren't really dead, they just look like it."

"That's weird."

"Yes. Yes it is."

There were more children appearing among the shelves, like a scene from a movie. The kid from before was peering around a corner, and judging from the dress was most likely female. A small boy with an unfortunate nose joined the newsboy, and looked up at Dark as though challenging him.

"You seen these things?"

"Yup. You guys remember a couple months ago when your parents wouldn't let you outside at night?"

The two boys glanced at each other. "Yes…" the newsboy said slowly. "But…our parents said nothing was wrong."

"They probably didn't realize it was. Bad magic like that, it sinks into your skin and makes you cautious without realizing why you're being cautious."

"Icky." It was a third boy, ridiculously cute with blue hair in the style Dark thought of privately as 'mom wanted a girl.'

"It can be."

"I meant your face."

Dark frowned, crossing his eyes in an admittedly ridiculous attempt to see his own chin. "Do I really look like a vampire?"

All the children within hearing distance responded with synonyms for yes.

"Oh." Dark touched his lip with the handkerchief again. "I should leave, huh?"

"Why?" a blonde girl asked.

"'Cause I'm, uh, bleeding? And also I need to find a good restaurant…or maybe make some sandwiches? What do you guys think?"

"I like sandwiches," the girl said.

"Me too. Okay, picnic."

"You're having a picnic?"

"I think so. Does that sound like a good date?"

"You're going on a date?"

"Yes. Look, I should really leave and I know how this goes. You guys start asking me questions and that leads to more questions and that leads to parents coming and complaining to Navi that I told their kids what hand job was. It's not my fault they asked!"

"What's a hand-"

"Leaving!" Dark started to walk off, the kids following him with their eyes. He hesitated after just a few steps. "But…I'll come back, okay? Once I wash my face and make a picnic. And you can ask me anything then."

"Okay!"

Dark dragged himself away and into the closest bathroom, disturbed to note that he did, in fact, look very much like a vampire.

So. Wash face (why was he still bleeding?), find a supermarket, and make a picnic. Couldn't be too hard, right?

Right?

zzz

The arcade was doing a surprisingly good trade. Tourist towns had remarkably few things for the locals to do, and all the kids that would normally be at school seemed to have gathered there. There was no shortage of middle-schoolers to challenge to games, and Kafei and a boy with a big forehead and a bandana had been going one-on-one at DDR for nearly twenty minutes.

His friends had given up much sooner, and cleared some wannabes away from a table to sit down.

"So… you and the princess, huh?" Mikau said it with exaggerated casualness, and anyone who knew him would know he must have been rehearsing it in his mind for hours.

"Yes," Link said simply. "Me and the princess. You heard the story. You know what happened."

"Right, right, with the saving the world. See but… I think there's parts you kind of… glossed over."

Link's shoulders stiffened. "How so?"

"Oh come on!" Ralph rolled his eyes.

Mikau glanced at him, and they seemed to communicate with their eyes. "Like how… you mentioned Zelda was pretending to be a guy, when you met."

"Yes…"

"And you guys were friends for, oh, a good two or three months before you found out the truth."

"Yes, technically, but after that a lot of things happened very fast, so-"

"I'm not saying I don't understand. Just, if you thought Zelda was a guy, why did you start dating her immediately after you found out the truth?"

"Say the words, Link," Ralph said. "It's good for you. Not like he didn't suspect already."

"What?" Link exclaimed. "Really?"

"Since freshman year. Do you remember Mr. Kojin?"

"All right, all right, fine." Link took a deep breath. "I'm bi, okay? Bisexual. But I love Zelda so it's not an issue. Just…like…we like Orlando Bloom movies for the same reason."

Mikau clapped him on the shoulder. "Totally cool, man. Thank you for telling me."

Link mumbled something and ducked his head.

"We're working on the pride thing," Ralph said. "I almost had him joining the GSA before school got out."

"Next year?" Mikau suggested.

"Next year!" They bumped fists.

Link shoved Mikau, making him stumble. "It's not funny!"

"You have to laugh, man. You can't take this stuff too seriously. Your shadow doesn't."

"Are you actually suggesting that I act more like Dark?"

"Bad idea?"

"Very. He thinks he can live off of pop rocks and fruit roll-ups."

"Well… Okay, maybe not act just like him. But…chill out more."

"I am plenty chill! Honestly, can you blame me for being twitchy about this? I've only known I was bi for like three months. Even the fact that I've told people is good progress."

"Okay, I'll give you that." Mikau admitted. He looked over his shoulder at the DDR machine. "What about Kafei? How's he been doing with all this?"

"Surprisingly well," Ralph said. "He's still as high-strung as ever, but he seems to have accepted that he can't control the world."

"Good. That's some Bond villain shit right there."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, think about it. Bad guys in movies always want to take over the world, right? And…haven't you ever wanted to be able to control your life? All of your life? The only way to do that is to control everyone and everything around you. Take over the world."

Link looked from Mikau to Ralph and back again. "You guys… You don't think…"

"I'm just saying. Maybe bad guys don't start out so bad. Just a confused kid or something. I'm not saying I want to take over the world, but with the kind of shit that's been happening to me lately…" Mikau sighed. "I can empathize. That's all."

"Serious headtrip guys," Link shook his head. "I'm gonna go make fun of Kafei."

"Have fun," Ralph said. He waited until Link was out of earshot, then turned to Mikau. "Well?"

"Oh come on, you're not really going to hold me to that?"

"We bet five, right? I won't charge you interest, 'cause it's you."

"That was like two years ago!"

"A bet is a bet. You thought Link just wanted to be Mr. Kojin, not do him."

"I was young! I was naïve! Link didn't even know!"

"It's true all the same. Pay up."

Mikau sighed and dug into his pocket. "Fine. But I was still right about him and the princess."

"Yeah, okay. But they're so storybook perfect, can you really blame me for thinking it was too good to be true?"

"I can sure try."

zzz

Dreamchaser90: HELP!

ivorygoth: whats wrong?

Dreamchaser90: A CRAZY PERSON asked me out!

ivorygoth: so… say no?

Dreamchaser90: I already said yes

ivorygoth: why?

Dreamchaser90: I don't' know

ivorygoth: is he THAT hot?

Dreamchaser90: Well

Dreamchaser90:Yes

ivorygoth: oh

ivorygoth: in that case go for it

Dreamchaser90: I can't!

ivorygoth: why not?

Dreamchaser90: I'm scared.

Dreamchaser90: This guy just showed up out of nowhere and just started chatting me up.

Dreamchaser90: I thought he was, you know, really hot, so I was okay talking to him at first

Dreamchaser90: But then he asked me out! For lunch! Today!

ivorygoth: I'm still nto seeing how this is a problem

Dreamchaser90: Because he's crazy! He dresses like he shops at the Goth Salvation Army.

ivorygoth: hey

Dreamchaser90: And he was making sexual comments in public.

ivorygoth: like any other guy your age

Dreamchaser90: And he asked ME out! ME!

ivorygoth: um, good?

Dreamchaser90: But why? Why would someone like that want to date me?

ivorygoth: you're cute, Shad, even if you don't realize it.

Dreamchaser90: You have to say that because you're my friend.

ivorygoth: yeah but it's true anyway

ivorygoth: you already agreed to go out with this guy, right?

Dreamchaser90: Yes…

ivorygoth: so you're boned

ivorygoth: either literally or figuratively, depending on how things go

Dreamchaser90: ASHEI!

ivorygoth: dude are you on the library computer again?

Dreamchaser90: Yes

ivorygoth: dude

Dreamchaser90: I know, I know, I hate Macs too. But it's not like I have much choice.

ivorygoth: oaky, well, whatever

ivorygoth: you have your cell phone?

Dreamchaser90: Of course.

ivorygoth: call me if anything goes wrong

ivorygoth: or pretend you're getting a call and say it's me and I'm crying ad you need to come comfort me

Dreamchaser90: Okay?

ivorygoth: and if all else fails, Telma has a shotgun

Dreamchaser90: Okay.

zzz

It was a beach. It was a lake beach, not the ocean. But it was a big lake. And it was summer, with the warm sun beating down and decent-looking young men running around in swim trunk, trying not to stare at the quartet of females laid out on their towels. It was enough.

"How come you didn't want to see Mikau, Malon?" Anju asked. "Didn't you kind of know him?"

"We were in marching band together," Malon said, her eyes closed. She was a true redhead, and thus couldn't tan to save her life, but she'd covered herself in sunscreen and was hoping to at least get a good covering of freckles. "I liked him. He was cool."

"Then why did you disappear when we went to see him?"

"I didn't. I just wanted to grab some coffee. There wasn't really any reason for me to go anyway, Link and Ralph and Kafei were the only important ones."

"Yeah, but, um, didn't you want to meet the rest of the band?"

Malon stiffened. "Not…particularly…"

"I thought you liked their music."

"I do! I mean. It's…good. But, I mean, I… Link and the others know Mikau, so it's not like I won't get another chance. I just wanted coffee. That's all."

Anju sighed and leaned back. "Okay, whatever. If you say so."

Malon frowned, and took off her sunglasses. "I'm going swimming for a while. Anyone else?"

"I will," Zelda sat up. "Let me pull back my hair."

They scrambled up and ran for the water, laughing as a guy staring at them tripped. Anju lay back on her towel, reaching out a hand and poking Nayru's leg.

"She was lying, wasn't she?"

"I'm not a human lie detector," Nayru muttered sleepily.

"Actually, you kind of are."

"Fneh."

"So? Was she?"

"What do you think?"

"I think she's hiding something."

"There you go then." Nayru rolled onto her stomach and nuzzled her head into her arms. "Wake me if something interesting happens."

"Something's about to."

"What do you-"

She was interrupted by someone tripping over her ankle.

"Ow! Oh crap, sorry Nayru. Man I am not coordinated today…"

Nayru pushed herself up. "Dark?"

He grinned at her, upside-down. "Scouting good picnic locations. I think it's too busy here. But then I saw you and I thought, 'Nayru's smart! She can help!'"

"Er, well, I'll try. What's up?"

"What's that accent? You know, the one where they sound all prim and proper? The one where…" He scrunched his face up in concentration. "Where they pronounce 'can't' like 'cahn't?' As in, 'I'm sorry but I cahn't.'"

"That, uh. You mean a Labrynnan accent?"

"Do I? Okay. What kind of stuff do they eat in Labrynna?"

"Not too different. Kind of bland, a lot of meat and potatoes. I think they boil everything."

"So, just, like, sandwiches should be okay? Or chicken? Everybody likes chicken."

"Dark what is going on?"

He blinked. "You can't tell? I thought you had that crazy power where you could read people or whatever."

"Reading people's emotions is very different from reading their minds. Plus, you are talking really fast."

"Oh." Dark took a deep breath and tried to slow down. "I'm planning a picnic. For this guy. That I met. Ohmygodsheissoadorable. I mean, damn. Anyways he has that accent and that is basically all I know about him so I was hoping it would help me choose food. Also he is a nerd."

"Well, you know what soda to get then."

"True."

"What happened to finding goths?"

"I-" Dark blinked. "Oh yeah! I totally forgot I was gonna do that, huh? Oh well. So, basic picnic stuff should be good?"

"Unless he's a vegetarian."

Dark went pale.

"I was kidding! Calm down. Just make sure and have plenty of fruit too."

"Always. Okay." He got up and dusted himself off. "Sorry, by the way. Did I say sorry?"

"Yes. It's all right, I'm not hurt. You have a huge scab on your lip though."

"I know. I bit myself when Shad knocked me down. Totally worth it." He grinned, a new one, sort of embarrassed and proud all at once. "I gotta go run around some more. Headless chicken time. I am freaking the hell out, can you tell?"

"A little," Nayru said with a completely straight face.

"Okay, well, yeah." Dark started off down the beach, jogging backwards. "You both look awesome by the way. Rowr. If I wasn't crushing so hard I'm about to form my own center of gravity I would be all over ogling you. Totally." He tripped over his feet and nearly knocked over another beach-goer, finally facing forward and running off across the sand.

Nayru and Anju stared after him.

"Should we, uh, should we tell the others about this?" Anju asked.

"Nah, let Dark do it. It'll be funnier if they don't know it's coming."

The two girls exchanged a glance.

"This is going to be a good vacation."

"Totally."

zzz

There were raised voices in the children's section. This was not unusual, since children tended to get loud when they were excited, but if you listened closely to the words…

"So, it's like playing ball?" a child's voice said.

"How so?" Not a child's voice.

"Like, like, you need to make sure they want to play with you. And that they understand the rules and want to play the same way you do. And they shouldn't be too much older or younger then you 'cause older kids throw too hard and littler kids can't even throw at all."

"That's very good!" the not-child's voice said. "Can anyone think of any other ways?"

"Ooh!" A different child's voice. "Um, um, you can get sick! 'Cause if you're playing with someone who has a cold an' they touch the ball an' you touch the ball then you get sick."

"Also very good! And what should you do?"

"Don't play with people who are sick?"

"Ah, but what if you really like them, or they're really good at it?"

"Then…wash your hands?"

"Gloves!" a third child said.

"Good! Protection from germs. And cleanliness is just important in general. That's common courtesy is what that is."

Shad's mouth was hanging open as he rounded the corner. He was hoping he was wrong. He could very easily be wrong. But he had a sinking feeling in his stomach, and that voice was getting more and more familiar.

Dark was sitting on the floor, surrounded by children, making questionable hand gestures.

"And really it all comes down to what you want. You shouldn't let anyone talk you into doing something you're not comfortable with, and at the same time you shouldn't try to talk anyone into anything they really don't want to do."

"Seems like most of these rules can be summed up as 'be nice,'" a boy in a cap said.

"Well, they can, if you get right down to it," Dark admitted. "But most people don't listen if you say 'be nice.' It's too vague. You need specific rules for specific situations. People don't like having to rely on their own judgment."

"That's silly."

"Yes. But I do it too. People are afraid of making mistakes, so they try to pass the blame for their decisions on to someone else. Like a while ago, I was making a picnic. I told you guys about that, right?" About half of the children responded in the affirmative. "Right, well, I wound up bringing just regular picnic food. Sandwiches and chicken and salad and some fruit. But before I did that, I ran around like a crazy person until I found one of my friends and asked her advice. Because I didn't want to make the decision all by myself, and have no one to blame if I screwed up somehow." Dark glanced up. "Hi Shad! I'll be done here in a sec." He turned back to the kids. "Guys, this is Shad."

Several of them said hi.

"What…are you doing?"

"Q and A. They ask, I answer. No matter what it is."

"That's…" Shad could feel his eyes glazing over. "I'm sure there must be something wrong with that…"

"Only because the kids wind up asking me the questions their parents refuse to answer."

"Hey, yeah!" a little girl with pigtails exclaimed. "I wanna ask that! How come parents refuse to answer stuff sometimes?"

"Because you are their children and they love you, and there are certain subjects that most people believe are not appropriate for children to know. They want you to stay pure and innocent for as long as you can."

"Does that mean we're not pure and innocent 'cause you told us a lot of stuff?"

"Not as long as you don't tell your parents what I told you."

"Kay."

Shad could barely manage to draw enough breath to snap, "Dark!"

"What? Someone has to teach them! I learned all of this from drunk dudes and trial and error. I don't want anyone else to go through that."

Shad shook his head helplessly and fought the urge to pull his hair from its roots. "There is something profoundly wrong with talking to kids about- about- whatever it was you were talking about."

"Dating," Dark said. "I told them I was here to pick you up and that led to a whole discussion."

"Oh." Shad relaxed a bit. "That's… okay, I guess."

"What did you think I was talking to them about?"

"I don't know." He shuffled awkwardly. "Can we just go?"

"Sure!" Dark patted the nearest kid on the head and got up. "I'll come by and see you guys again, okay?"

"Okay!" the pigtailed girl said. She then immediately tackled the girl next to her.

Shad and Dark left chaos behind them.

"I just gotta grab something from the counter over here," Dark said. "Hi ma'am!"

"Hello again Dark," Mrs. Baker greeted him. "Did you find a good story to read?"

"Oh, we never got around to that. The kids just wanted to talk to me. By the way, if the cops show up I was never here."

Mrs. Baker paused. "Oh… Okay?" She reached underneath the counter and emerged with an industrial-strength brown paper bag.

"Thanks a lot."

Shad looked at the bag nervously, but handed over his stack of books. "Could you hold these for me?"

"Of course."

"See you in a bit, Mrs. Baker."

"More then a bit!" Dark protested.

"A while then."

"We'll see."

Shad glanced at Dark, then leaned over and whispered quickly to Mrs. Baker. "You're a witness, right? You can remember that he was the last person I was seen with."

Mrs. Baker laughed and waved them off.

"Come on!" Dark hefted his bag over his shoulder. "I'm starving. The smell of this food has been driving me crazy since I bought it."

Shad trailed after him, bemused. "You… There's food in there?"

"Yuh-huh. I bought picnic stuff. I hope you don't mind. I would have cooked, but I can only make a few things without a recipe. I usually rely on stuff that comes in boxes."

"No, it's… okay. But I was expecting a restaurant. Fast food."

"Pssh. That's boring. Also? Expensive. It adds up. Me and my friends are here on vacation for three weeks, did I mention that?"

"No, but I assumed."

"Right, well, right. And we've got to eat, right? But we can't just eat at restaurants every day! Luckily we're staying at a really nice hotel with microwaves and mini-fridges and all that. So we can buy groceries. Bread and peanut butter at least."

"That makes sense."

"Yeah! It's just like when I was living by myself. I couldn't afford, um, appliances, but I made do with basic non-perishable stuff. And apples. And getting other people to buy me food."

"Oh yes, I completely understand that. I've been taking care of myself for a couple years now…it's not as easy as your parents make it look."

Dark laughed. "Yeah, I wouldn't- I mean, yeah."

"You said 'when I was living by myself.' Does that mean you don't any more?"

"Yup! I live with my brother. He's staying in this nice house until he gets out of high school, so that's another year. Then college, and we'll both be fending for ourselves again. But with me working full time and him working weekends, and we don't have rent or car-related expenses, we do all right for ourselves."

"Sounds like a good deal."

"Link, that's my brother, he's set for life now anyways."

"Why?"

"'Cause he's dating the princess."

Shad's eyes widened. "He's what?"

"Dating the princess. Zelda. They're totally perfect too, like Barbie and Ken. Only… you know, less meltable."

"Meltable," Shad repeated, weakly.

"Yeah. So hey, where do you want to sit?" Dark scanned the street. "I found a nice place on the beach, at least I think it's nice, but it was so empty I'm afraid it might belong to someone, or maybe there's something wrong with it I didn't see?"

"Well, there's a park a few blocks down."

"Is there? Okay, cool. Man I am never going to get this city memorized."

"You don't live here. You don't have to."

"Well, no, but you don't either."

"No, but I'm staying here for two months for my research. I kind of need to find my way around. Plus…" He shrugged. "I've always been good at that. Keeping a map in my head. I don't get lost much."

"Lucky. I do. Alla' time. I'm not too good at paying attention to my surroundings, though."

"Never would have guessed," Shad smiled.

"Ha!" Dark grinned. "I know, I have my faults. But I've got my good points too. You'll see."

Shad ducked his head. "I… I think I'd like that."

"Really?"

Shad nodded.

"Woo-hoo! I am the master!" Dark pumped his free arm in the air.

"Well, let's see how your taste in sandwiches runs. Then, who knows?"

"Ooh, don't tease me like that!" Dark winced. "I know you're not the type to fool around on a first date."

"I meant that maybe there will be a second date."

"Oh. Wait, aw, I'm still in maybe?"

"We'll see, that's all."

"Hmmph. You're just lucky I bought baby carrots. Baby carrots are awesome."

Shad laughed.

The park was small, hardly more then a yard with tables in it, but there was grass and trees and one of the tables actually had paint on it. They unpacked the bag together, Shad exclaiming when he found a bottle of Mountain Dew.

"Lucky guess?" He said. "Or did you actually know I like this?"

"Going by the stereotype," Dark admitted. "Nerd, Mountain Dew."

"Ah, right. Sad but true. It grows on you."

Dark pointed at it accusingly. "I defy anyone to find a mountain whereupon the dew is this particular color, and then return to tell me about it. And no fair wearing rad-suits for the journey."

Shad laughed. "You like the sound of your own voice, don't you?"

Dark shrugged. "Never paid much attention to it. Just better then silence."

"That's deep."

"It wasn't on purpose."

"You don't think before you speak, do you?"

"Does anyone? Really?"

Shad laughed again. "Point."

Dark turned the conversation back around to Shad's research, and was treated to a history lesson on the city of Lake Town. It seemed there had been a lake here before the Great Flood, but it had, naturally, increased in size quite a bit since then. Still, civilizations tended to stick close to water sources, and there hadn't been a single period in Hyrule's history where there was not some kind of settlement on the lake's shores. Most of the ruins were from shortly after the flood, when the country was just starting to rebuild itself. A century of upheaval, Shad called it. People moved down from the mountains, rediscovered agriculture, and were awed by the castle. No one knew for certain why the castle had survived the flood almost untouched, while everything else from that period had been washed away. There was the legend, of course, the Hero of Winds. But scientists were always skeptical of things they couldn't prove on paper. Even in a world where it wasn't uncommon to see lanterns floating by themselves at crossroads, where fish-people and bird-people were close enough genetically to interbreed, where serious logging was impossible because sometimes the trees talked back. Still, the scientists clung to their rules and theories.

"Archaeology is different, though," Shad said, through a mouthful of roast beef. "Because we're not trying to prove something is, we're trying to prove it was. I believe in the legends because I've seen the proof of them myself, in the soil." He swallowed, aided by a swig of bright yellow soda, before continuing. "Hyrule has a rich oral history."

Dark managed to keep from commenting.

"But even that can't compare to the things that are written in stone. And I do mean that literally. Carved into the stone walls of an alter just outside of town. It's really beautiful, and they keep it that way by keeping people out. The trouble is that it's written in Old Hylian, which is a devil to learn. Plenty of books on the subject, and everyone likes being able to say things like 'magister mundi sum-'"

Dark snorted into his drink.

"But no one actually speaks it. I mean, not conversationally. They have to take the time and translate it in their head. Even I do, although I could argue that I am not a language major."

"Sure."

"So I look at this beautiful wall of carving and I can pronounce a few of the words, but I have no idea what they mean without two books and a sheet of paper to work out the syntax." Shad paused. "Actually I don't know if syntax is the right word there. I'm not an English major either."

"Fair enough."

"What about you, Mr. Hates-Silence?" Shad smirked. "You've successfully proven that you can listen as well as babble. But can you complete a coherent thought?"

"Let's find out!" Dark chirped. "Ask me anything."

"Very well." Shad tilted his head back, thinking. "What do you do? Day to day. Are you in school?"

"Nah. I'm planning on getting my GED so I can go to college with Link and all his friends, but that's more out of obligation to social norms then any desire for structured education. I like learning. I like knowing things. But I like doing it on my own time, in my own way. I can't imagine being cooped up in a room for hours and having to learn the same things as everyone else."

"So then what do you do?"

"I have a job!" Dark grinned. "Slightly above minimum wage, full time. At a Cold Stone Creamery."

Shad frowned thoughtfully. "That…ice cream place? The one that pretends to be posh just because they mix gummi bears in with it?"

"That's the one! My boss and coworkers are all really cool though, they don't take it too seriously. I mean, they couldn't. They hired me."

"There is that."

Dark switched moods abruptly, turning defensive. "Hey, man, you don't even know me."

"No," Shad agreed, not buying it. "But I want to. Isn't that why people date in the first place?"

Dark grinned again.

"So that's that, then." Shad got up and dusted off his knees. "Thank you very much for the meal, Dark, but I should really get back to work before it all slips from my mind."

"Oh!" Dark exclaimed, dismayed. He leapt to his feet, scattering napkins. "But, um… Well, I can at least walk you back, right?"

"Afraid not."

Dark tried to ignore the crushed glass feeling in his chest. "Why not?"

"Because we're relatively secluded out here. If we parted at the library, I wouldn't be able to do this." Shad neatly stepped over the empty paper bag and placed one hand on Dark's shoulder. He raised himself on his toes to make up the height difference, and pecked Dark lightly on the cheek.

"Same time tomorrow?" he said with a smile.

"Wsfgl?" Dark said.

"I'll take that as a yes. And next time, I'll pay." Shad waved, still smirking. "Till tomorrow!"

Dark watched him walk away, stunned into immobility for the second time in one day. There was something odd about that, the way he was always either frozen solid or running around faster then was healthy. Over all though, he decided, he seemed to be doing all right for himself.

Slowly, cautiously, Dark raised a hand to his cheek. He could almost feel it tingling.

"This is going to be a good vacation."

zzz

They dropped Mikau off at the performance hall as the sun was just starting to dip behind the mountains in the west. He clung to Ralph just a few seconds too long as they said goodbye, and let his hand linger in Link's hair when he ruffled it playfully, but no one said anything.

"We'll come by tomorrow," Link said, catching the clues. "When would be a good time?"

"Um, morning. We're, you know, a band, so we don't get anything started until after noon."

"Okay. We'll drag you out for breakfast."

"Okay," Mikau grinned, that slightest hint of desperation on his face. He stretched his goodbyes out as long as he could, before finally disappearing into the building.

His three friends walked in silence for a couple blocks before any of them spoke.

"He's gonna have a nervous breakdown, isn't he?" Link said, casually.

"Oh yeah," Ralph confirmed. "Within weeks."

"You don't think… drugs?"

"Maybe a little. But I don't think he's an addict. Given that he looks like he's under a lot of stress, it's not impossible that he might start to rely on them…"

"That's if we don't do something," Kafei said firmly. "And we are going to do something." It wasn't a question.

"Right," Link agreed, anyway. "Even if it's just making damn sure he knows we're there for him."

"We need to contact him more," Ralph said. "I know we kind of didn't think about it after he left. But we do."

"Yeah…" Link sighed. "I guess I never thought… I mean, he was living his dream! And he knows we're his friends. I didn't really think he would need to be reminded of that."

"It's nice sometimes, that's all," Ralph said. "People need to know other people care about them."

"He said he was dating Lulu. Doesn't she care about him?"

"I'm sure she does, but she's in the same situation he is. Not to mention the added stress of keeping their relationship a secret."

"So we need to save our friend from…the pressures of fame?" Kafei said, twisting his mouth. It sounded pretty cliché, put like that.

"The pressures of performing, at least," Ralph said. "They're only famous in certain circles, so far."

"Well, all musicians are like that" Kafei said. "I wouldn't recognize anybody from… like… My Chemical Romance, walking down the street."

"Who would?"

Link rolled his eyes. "Just because you guys only listen to college rock…"

"This from the guy whose favorite song is by Depeche Mode."

"Favorite song this week," Link corrected.

"It's all depressing and weird!"

"It's atmospheric. It reminds me of video game music."

"Ooooookay, whatever man."

Link shrugged. "I like what I like."

"You're totally going to be a hippie in college, aren't you."

Link grinned, looking almost like his brother. "We'll see."

They met up with the girls on their way back from the beach, half-dressed and glossy with sunscreen. Once they recovered their respective speech faculties, Link suggested they all head back to the hotel to change and rest.

Dark was standing in the hall, near his and Link's room, bouncing on one leg and carrying on a conversation with a teenage girl in a shirt with the hotel's logo.

"Have you ever found anything, like, really really gross?"

"Name a body fluid," the girl said, rolling her eyes. "Although we have to have special training to clean up blood. 'Cause of diseases."

"That makes sense. What about, um… Have you ever walked in on naked people?"

"A time or two. We're usually careful about that, though. Knock real loud and announce ourselves."

"That's good." Dark nodded thoughtfully. "Me and my friends, we're gonna be here for a long time. I don't think we'll need new sheets every day."

"If you tell the front desk, they'll make a note of it for our charts."

"You have charts?"

"You expect us to keep track for five hundred rooms in our heads?"

"Guess no-" Dark caught sight of his friends and leapt to his feet. "Link! Ohmigods!" He started to run towards them, paused in midstep, and patted the girl on the shoulder both as a way of bidding her farewell and keeping his own balance. "It was nice talking to you. Thanks bunches."

"Sure," the girl said, laughing. "Make sure to tip your maids, whenever you do want service."

"Will do." She headed off down the hall, and Dark rushed over to Link and the others.

"Link! I have been looking for you all day! Where have you been?"

"Around. Hanging out with Mikau. We just kind of wandered."

"I was wandering! I didn't see you! Also I lost my room key and I left my ID in there so I couldn't get a new one!"

"Okay, okay, slow down." Link had to fight the urge to laugh. Dark was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, looking quite a bit like an over-excited puppy. "Let's get out of the hallway."

Everyone split off toward their rooms, making plans to meet up again for dinner in an hour. Link kicked off his shoes and flopped down on his bed, watching Dark pacing around and occasionally skipping.

"What is with you?" Link asked. "Did you eat a bottle of honey again?"

"No no no. No. Nothing like that. Although I did drink a bunch of Mountain Dew so," he made a whistling noise and a fluttering gesture with his hand, perhaps meant to indicate that his brain had flown off. "Part of it is sugar high, part of it is endorphin high. Also I'm really tired, so I'm like. You know that thing where you're so tired you feel all wonky? That. But mainly." He grinned, one of sheer joy. "I met a guy."

Link blinked. "This is news?"

"Yes! Because! He is so adorable you have no idea. He has an accent. And he's a nerd. A working nerd! An archeology student. And he has red hair and glasses. And argyle socks! I saw them when he crossed his legs. Mm! Did I mention he had an accent?"

"Yes."

"He has an accent Link."

Link realized he was smiling. "That's great."

"I know! It is! And oh my gods I just want to eat him up."

"Is that innuendo?"

"I don't know!" Dark was still grinning. He didn't seem able to stop. "We had a picnic! Right? And he told me all about ruins and stuff and old temples and how you can tell just from looking at soil if a building was there a hundred years ago! Isn't that cool?"

"I guess so."

"And he knows all kinds of stuff like that! Oh my gods." He stopped suddenly, and swayed in place. "Link do I look like a vampire?"

"Uh…" Link was thrown by the change in direction. "Not really? Maybe if you wore a cravat."

"Like that state guy? I don't think so. That guy's a dick."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"That time when they thought I was involved in that prostitution thing, remember? The prosecution was trying to prove I was crazy. I don't remember why. Just that guy was a dick. And I'm not crazy. At least not legally. You refused to come to the trial because you were pissed at me for bringing the working girls coffee."

"Oh yeah," Link sighed. "You are crazy."

"Entirely possible," Dark agreed. "But I just try and remember what Bon Jovi tells me, which is that I've got to hold on to what I've got."

"Bon Jovi doesn't care about you, Dark."

"You shut your mouth!" Dark snapped, an almost desperate look on his face. "You shut it and you never open it again!"

"Okay, calm down." Link raised his hands, trying to pacify. Dark had never had mood swings this bad before. "Tell me more about this guy you're so in love with."

"Love?" Dark repeated, startled. "I didn't say love. I hardly know him. Besides, you know I'm not capable of romantic love. Shadows are asexual."

"Yeah, but humans aren't." Link gestured at him. "As you are a walking example of."

"No, I meant. You know what I meant. Shadows don't breed like that, so we don't form bonds like that. Familial love? Sure. Friend love? Of course. But not romance. I'm just not wired that way."

"If you say so," Link shrugged. "But you sure sound like you're love-struck."

"That's crazy. You're crazy."

"No I'm not. And at least I don't need a paper to prove it."

"Yeah…well… Shad kissed me, so I don't care what you say." Dark took a single deep breath and let it out slowly. "Link?"

"Yes?"

"I think I'm going to pass out."

zzz

ivorygoth: still alive?

Dreamchaser90: Still alive.

Dreamchaser90: I had fun.

Dreamchaser90: Which is kind of worrying.

Dreamchaser90: Because this guy IS completely insane.

ivorygoth: but in a fun way?

Dreamchaser90: Heh. I guess so.

ivorygoth: what are you gonna do?

Dreamchaser90: Do?

ivorygoth: are you gonna see him again?

Dreamchaser90: Yeah.

Dreamchaser90: I like him. It's kind of hard not to.

Dreamchaser90: Like kicking a puppy.

Ivorygoth: hard not to?

Dreamchaser90: You KNOW what I mean.

ivorygoth: yeah yeah

Dreamchaser90: I just want to find out his intentions.

Dreamchaser90: He says he's here on vacation. What if he just wants to fool around?

ivorygoth: i still vote go for it

Dreamchaser90: You would.

zzz

A little girl with blonde pigtails and an older girl with similar features and dyed black hair were walking on the beach. It was a deserted one, normally filled with tourists because it was so close to the lake temple, but abandoned now that it was shut down. The locals didn't mind, since it left more of their shortcuts open.

"An' he said, he said, that if I wanted I could date Joanna when I grow up!"

"Your friend?" the older sister said. "But…you're both-"

"He said that gender an' stuff doesn't matter as long as you both really wan' it."

"Okay…" the big sister thought about that. "I guess that's true, but don't you think you're kind of young to be thinking about that?"

"I'm not! I just asked so when I do wanna think about it I'll know."

"It is creepy when you make sense, you know that kiddo?"

"Sorry?" The little sister bounced up and down and waved her arms. "Ooh! An' guess what else he told us?"

"What?"

"Monsters!"

"Monsters?"

"About them! Like, like, there's giant spiders! That don't make sense because, um, real spiders can't get giant for some reason. But monster spiders can! And, um, um, dead things. That aren't really dead but they look like they're dead an' he doesn't know why. An' there's these things? That look like hands? Reaching out of the ground. An' they grab you and this thing comes up and it bites you and eats your life. And that's why you shouldn't climb down inside old wells."

The older sister's face had gone distant. "Hands…" she murmured.

"Yeah!"

"On long thin arms…" she said, as though reading something she could barely make out. "And…the creature… It moves so slow, its face raised up. And when it gets close it lowers its head and it… It…" She wrapped her arms around herself, so fast her hands slapped against her shoulders. "Stuff like that isn't real, Potava."

"Huh? But, yes it is."

"No it's not!" she snapped. "Stuff like that can't be real! It can't! Graveyards are just places where people are buried, they aren't inhabited by zombies and dead hands!"

Potava looked up at her sister. "I didn't say anything about a graveyard… An' neither did Dark."

"They're not real," her sister said firmly. "They're just nightmares. That's all. That's all."

"Sis…"

"What?" she snapped.

"I don't think you an' your friends should hang out in the graveyard any more."

"Yeah," she agreed, relaxing slightly. "Yeah, that…might be best…"

The rest of their walk home was silent, both girls so wrapped up in their thoughts that they failed to notice the light burning in a low window of the shut down Lake Temple.

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AN:

I am having issues with story structure. You can't tell yet, but in the next coming chapters I want you guys to be honest with me if it starts to drag. I also got tired of proof-reading about halfway through so there are BOUND to be typos.

I love Shad like woah. Can you tell?

Oh yeah, and you guys are probably curious... Here's the thing. I created a crackpairing. Yes. I created it MYSELF. All by myself. I'm kind of proud. What happened was, I was writing WHN when Twilight Princess came out. That means I was thinking about the characters a lot, and I looked at Twilight Princess through the eyes of a writer, looking for hints about the world and culture (and Zelink) that I could use in my fics. Then I saw Shad. I think I actually squeaked. He is SO CUTE. Cheekbones! Neat hair! That stupid bow! ARGYLE SOCKS! And I realized, as I talked to him over and over, that if I introduced him to the WHN world there was NO WAY Dark would not want to hit that. And somehow it turned into...this.

I love all the minor characters from TP. I didn't like Midna (she was pretty much a bitch until she got some of Zelda's spirit, and then she got all...handsy) or Ilia (just boring) but I loved everyone else. Especially the Gang from Telma's bar. And Prince Ralis. And the kids from Ordon. MOST especially Colin. I may have an inappropriate crush on him, in fact.

Oh yeah, quick note, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS ON ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT PRINCESS. Unless, you knwo, they agree with mine. You're not going to change my mind, and I just don't feel like getting lectured by yet ANOTHER Ilia fangirl. At least Zelda had a damn sword! All Ilia did was get amnesia. And Midna is still a bitch, I don't care what you say. I DON'T CARE.

Arrgh, sorry for ranting. I haven't slept since yesterday and I may be homeless in two weeks.

Still! I hope you guys enjoyed the gay, and Dark's scattershot approach to Capitalization. And Mikau being angsty. And the intentionally-grammar-impaired IM conversations. And me trying to do descriptions. Thirty-four pages you guys. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

Know what? Just ignore all that. No comments on the Author's sleep-deprived ramblings please, just talk about the fic. Kthnxbai.