Touya couldn't remember the last time he slept so well. He also couldn't remember the last time he woke up to the smell of rice and miso soup. He made his way to the kitchen and the smells got better.

"Morning sunshine," Hikaru said, waving a ladle at him.

"Since when did you learn how to cook?" Touya asked, taking a seat at the table. He knew he should offer to help, but it felt too good to just let Hikaru pamper him. Hikaru didn't seem to mind.

"It's just rice and miso, it's not hard. I usually have toast, but I thought you'd probably prefer something traditional." Touya was touched by Hikaru's thoughtfulness but decided not to say anything. Hikaru put bowls on the table and Touya breathed in the steam, enjoying the warm, comforting heat that smelled like home. It had been a long time since he'd had a hot meal.

"So," Hikaru said, settling down at the table himself. "Are you going to tell where you've been for the last eight months?"

"Nowhere," Touya said, then paused. Hikaru wasn't Ito. He didn't have to be curt and rude. Touya kind of hated what he had become.

"I've been working in a convenience store. It's…not the worst way to pay rent. I got an apartment too." Hikaru pulled a bowl of rice towards himself but didn't start eating.

"I looked for you, you know."

"You did?"

"Of course I did Touya! You disappeared! I looked everywhere, police boxes, missing person's blogs, every go salon in the city. Ogata-san filed a police report. I was looking for you yesterday!" Touya was stunned. He hadn't really thought so much about what his disappearance would do to Hikaru. He had been so wrapped up in himself.

"You were looking for me yesterday?" he managed to ask. Hikaru looked pained and he fiddled with his rice bowl.

"I looked for you every day," he said to the table. Touya was floored. "How did you manage to hide so well?"

"I didn't really go anywhere. I barely left my block." The only places he really went were the convenience store and the bookstore, and both of those were less than a five minute walk from home. The bar Ito had taken him to last night was the furthest away he had ever been from his apartment.

"I guess you must have been avoiding go salons too, because I mean it when I say I went to every single one. I think someone would have remembered seeing Touya Akira in their salon." Touya felt himself turning red, and it was his turn to stare at the table.

"I can't play anymore. I haven't touched a stone since the Meijin match." Touya expected Hikaru to berate him, or shout at him, or grab him and force him over to the board, insisting that they play a game right now, but he surprisingly didn't do any of those things.

"Oh," he said. "Ok." Touya gaped at him.

"Ok? Ok?! You're really ok with it if I never play go again?"

"Of course I'm not ok with it! But it's your life and your go and if that's your choice I'll respect it. Remember, I get where you're coming from, and there's no point making someone play who just…can't." Hikaru looked down at his food. "And if this is what you need to come back to us, then I'm not really going to argue with you about it."

"Us?" Hikaru looked confused.

"Yeah, well, you're here, so I assume you're also going to tell everyone else that you're alive, right?"

"No!" Touya barked, slamming his hands against the table and jumping out of his chair so fast it fell to the floor. "No, Shindou, you can't tell anyone that you saw me. I don't…I mean, I'm not ready for that yet. I can't see everyone who doesn't understand and have them harass me about go, or give me sympathy when they don't get that I don't deserve it. I don't even really deserve to have you…" Hikaru looked like he wanted to argue, but thought better of it.

"Then why'd you come here?" Touya picked up his chair and sat back down.

"A moment of drunken weakness." Hikaru actually laughed, but it was the good kind of laugh, and Touya didn't realize until that instant how desperately he missed that sound. "You can't tell anyone. And you can't talk to me about go. Promise?"

"Ok fine, I promise. If that's the price I have to pay to have you back in my life, then it's worth it." Touya felt an old, long forgotten desire flow through him at those words, but he bit it back. Now was most definitely not the time.

"You really want me back? Without my go?" Hikaru locked eyes with him, all traces of amusement gone.

"There's more to you than your go you know." He said it with such sincerity that Touya's breath actually caught in his throat.

"Well, at least one of us believes that." Hikaru laughed again.

oooooooooooooooooooo

To Touya's extreme disappointment, although he didn't let it show, Hikaru had a match that day.

"I'll come see you tonight," Hikaru promised. "Where should I meet you?" Touya considered giving him a neutral location, like a restaurant, but he wanted, almost needed, to let Hikaru into his new life, so he gave him the address of the convenience store.

"I get off work at 7:30" he said. "Meet me then."

The rest of the day crawled for Touya. He went home, read a little, and went to work in a daze, but it was a different sort of daze than the one he had been in before, and it felt good. He felt a little guilty about feeling so good, but he couldn't help it. Talking to Hikaru had been extremely cathartic.

"You look like shit," Ito said when Touya came in to work.

"Good afternoon to you too." He was getting way too used to this.

"You have bags under your eyes and color on your face. What's wrong with you?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe my useless colleague got me wasted and tried to take advantage of me?" Ito smirked.

"Oh, you know you liked it." Touya scowled but didn't dignify him with a reply.

It was quite possibly the longest day ever. As the hours ticked by, Touya became progressively more antsy and agitated. Hikaru was going to come here and see his new life. Now that their meeting time was approaching, Touya was having severe second thoughts.

What if he makes fun of me? What if he doesn't really understand?

He knew he was being irrational, that Hikaru would never think that way, but there wasn't much else for him to think about, so he fretted.

Hikaru arrived at 7:25.

"You're early," Touya said, trying very hard not to smile. Hikaru on the other hand, had no such qualms.

"I wanted to see you in your uniform. You really do work at a convenience store, huh?"

"I told you I did."

"It looks good on you."

"Jerk." Hikaru laughed. "Wait here, I'll go change." Touya went into the break room to change out of his uniform, his heart pounding more than it should have been.

He came. He's here. He's really back in my life.

The nagging guilt that he shouldn't be indulging in this pleasure flared up again but Touya just couldn't bring himself to listen anymore. Not when Hikaru himself was standing on the other side of that thin curtain, willing and eager to accept a Touya who had killed his parents and abandoned go.

"Can I help you?" Touya's blood ran cold at the sound of Ito's voice.

Oh no, I should not have left Shindou alone in there.

He moved faster.

"I'm good," Touya could hear Hikaru reply. "I'm just waiting for Touya."

"People don't wait for Touya." Touya could hear the incredulity in Ito's voice and ripped his shirt off.

"I do." Touya had never changed so quickly in his life.

"I'm done," he said, pushing aside the curtain and stepping back into the store. "Let's go Shindou."

"So Touya," Ito said, grinning like his birthday had come early. "Who's this mystery friend you never bothered to mention?" Touya swallowed hard.

"This is Shindou. And we're leaving." Ito raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you didn't have any friends."

"He's got more than you'd think," Hikaru said, and Touya felt his stomach twist into a knot. Ito laughed, a cruel, harsh laugh.

"Yeah right. I've seen this loser every day for eight months and he's never bothered to mention any of these so called friends." Ito narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "Hey Touya, don't tell me this guy is the reason you stopped making out with me last night." Touya felt like he had been punched in the face.

"Touya, you kissed this jerk?!" Hikaru couldn't keep the disgust out of his voice. Touya wanted to sink into the floor and die. Ito just laughed.

"Naw, no way, not possible you just managed to create a friend out of thin air the day after you reject me. I know, you're an escort."

"Excuse me?" Hikaru fumed, balling his hands into fists.

"Well, it's the only explanation. I can't imagine where this loser rustled you up from unless he's paying for the privilege." Touya could almost see the steam rising from Hikaru's ears.

"Look bud, I don't know who you think you are, or what you think you know about Touya, but he is not a loser." Ito laughed again.

"Oh please, I know this guy. He's a pathetic loser drop-out with no friends and no motivation. He's a hikikomori who manages to drag himself out of his hidey hole for enough hours a day so he can pay for beer and rent. He's an unloved, unwanted waste of space with no skills and he definitely doesn't have a cool friend like you." Touya thought Hikaru might actually slug Ito, but luckily he had enough self-control to only bang his fist on the counter. Hard.

"You horrible excuse for a human being," he seethed, his voice dripping with venom. He wasn't shouting anymore. Touya had only seen Hikaru this angry once, when Ko YeongHa had insulted Shuusaku. "You talk about Touya like you've got him all figured out when you know nothing about him. Touya is the most incredible person I know. He's brilliant and talented and caring. He has so many people who love him. A whole community, actually. He's famous…"

"Shindou," Touya said in warning. He did not want his life dredged up in front of Ito. "You promised." Hikaru rounded on him.

"I didn't promise this!" But he caved at the pleading look on Touya's face.

"Fine. I'll stop. But just so you know." He turned back to Ito and rammed a finger in his chest. "Touya Akira is the single most important person in my life. He's my rival, my partner, and my best friend. He's the other half of my soul. And he doesn't need to sit here and be insulted by the likes of you!" Hikaru turned to Touya and grabbed his hand.

"Let's get out of here," he said, pulling Touya out of the store. They walked for a few blocks, during which time Hikaru continue to fume and Touya tried to force his heartbeat to return to normal. Finally, Hikaru stopped and turned towards him, but he didn't let go of his hand.

"Touya, did you really kiss that guy?"

That's what he was worried about?

"I…well…I was drunk and he kissed me. But I pushed him away." Hikaru seemed mollified, if not satisfied. "Shindou, you…called me your rival." He said a lot of other amazing stuff too, but Touya was still wrapping his brain and heart around what it meant that Hikaru thought of his as the other half of his soul.

"Yeah. So?"

"So how can I be your rival if I can't play go?" Hikaru squeezed his hand.

"Even if you can't play go, you're still my rival. I get the feeling we'll still find things to fight about."

"But…"

"But nothing. Now let's get some dinner. My treat. You're looking almost scary thin. Do you eat anymore?" Touya blushed.

"I usually eat whatever bento is left at the store at the end of the night." Hikaru groaned.

"I can't believe I'm the one saying this, but that's not food. Come on, what do you want to eat. Anything. It doesn't even have to be ramen." Touya almost smiled at that.

"Sushi."

"Ok," Hikaru gave him a warm smile and didn't let go of his hand all the way to the restaurant.

"I came to a place like this with Waya and Isumi-san this one time, years ago," Hikaru said once they had settled themselves down at a conveyor belt sushi joint. "Isumi-san said he'd treat us, and Waya and I had this ridiculous eating contest, ordering all this expensive stuff. Isumi-san was so mad, he wouldn't treat us again for years." Touya chuckled. Even though it involved go players, there was nothing about go in the story. Hikaru was clearly trying to have a conversation with him that didn't involve go, and Touya appreciated the effort more than he could say.