Chapter 4
As Sam had guessed, Kestrel drove straight to Cherry Hill after accompanying his boss to hospital. But he made a detour first to a ticket sales, ans was happy to see that he would be able to hold his promise to his nephew and niece. He arrived at Sarah and Ben Woodridge's house around 8 pm, and hoped the twins were still up. He rang the doorbell and waited. After a few seconds Sarah opened the door, frowning slightly but welcoming him with a smile.
_ Hi, Kestrel! Come in!
_ Hi, Sarah, he said calmly while stepping inside as the young woman closed the door behind him. How are you?
_ Not too good, actually, she sighed. I'm quite worried.
_ Join the club, he said, rubbing his face. Are the twins around?
_ Yes, she said, smiling. They're with Anna. But I doubt she'll want to see you, Kestrel.
_ I understand, he nodded. But I'll have to see her, it's very important. But the twins first. I know it's late, I won't be long.
_ I'll go and fetch them. Please sit down.
He went to sit on the sofa and soon heard the little kids running and shouting happily towards him, followed more slowly by their mother.
_ Uncle Mishka!
_ Hi, there! he said, grinning, kneeling down to embrace the five-year-old twins. How are you, дети (children)?
_ We're fine, uncle Mishka, Mary answered him seriously.
_ We missed you, James said, his voice trembling slightly. You've been away again?
_ Yes, Kestrel nodded, his heart twisting a little before the kids' disappointed faces. But now I'm on holidays, so I'll be able to see you more often.
_ You promise? they asked together, making him laugh softly.
_ Yes, I promise. And I have something for you.
He reached in his inner pocket and extracted some tickets. He explained to them:
_ I made a promise to you both before leaving, do you remember?
_ Yes, they chorused happily.
_ Well, there you are, he said, showing the tickets. Mary, you'll go with Rachel to a ballet in three days, here in Baltimore.
She whooped in delight, and asked him:
_ Will you come with Rachel and me?
_ I was thinking that you could ask someone who has always dreamed of seeing a ballet, he said mysteriously, winking at her.
_ Who? she asked, puzzled.
_ Mommy, he said, shooting a glance at Sarah, looking thunderstruck but hopeful.
So Mary ran to her mother and asked her:
_ Mommy, will you take Rachel and me to a ballet?
_ Sure, my darling, Sarah answered her, trying to mask her emotion.
She shot a grateful look at Kestrel who flashed her a smile, then he turned towards his nephew.
_ And you, James, will you accompany me to a soccer match?
_ Yes! he shouted loudly. The Saint Petersburg Zenit?
_ Yes, Kestrel nodded. Against DC United, in Washington in three days.
_ Hurray! Mommy, can I go?
_ Of course, my darling, Sarah said kindly, happy tears in her eyes.
_ So it's ballet for me and Rachel with Mommy, Mary summed up, and soccer for James with uncle Mishka. That's brilliant!
_ What do you say to uncle Mishka, children? Sarah asked.
_ Thank you! they chorused again, kissing his cheeks.
_ My pleasure, children, Kestrel beamed, kissing them affectionately. But now I believe you have to go to sleep.
_ Not yet! they moaned. You've just arrived, uncle Mishka!
_ I know, дети, he said regretfully as Ben entered the room, but I can't stay, and I need to see Grandma. I'll see you very soon, okay?
_ Okay, James said sullenly while Mary's lip was trembling.
_ Come, children, Sarah said. Daddy will tell you a story.
The twins reluctantly followed their father who briefly shook Kestrel's hand, smiling, and soon the little band went upstairs. Sarah turned towards Kestrel who handed her the tickets for the ballet.
_ Kestrel, thank you so much! she said, teary-eyed. Oh! The Nutcracker! My favourite!
_ Yes, he said, smiling kindly. I had a promise to hold, and I don't fancy ballet. But you'll have to tell Rachel and her parents, they don't know about it yet.
_ Thank you so much! That's so nice of you! And taking James to a soccer match! He'll be so delighted!
_ I hope so. But now, Sarah, I need to see Grim.
_ Kestrel, she sighed deeply, she doesn't want to see anyone. She's not ready.
_ I'm afraid that what I have to tell her can't wait, he said gently but firmly. I have a letter from Sam to hand her.
_ How is Dad? she asked in disarray.
_ Not at his best. When Briggs and I went to see him this morning, he was completely plastered. He regrets what he said to Grim. And he misses her, of course.
She pursed her lips, clearly hesitating, then said softly:
_ The situation is more complicated than you think. But I'll let Anna tell you about it. It's her call.
_ Don't tell me she wants to break up with Sam! Kestrel said in distress.
_ No, of course not, she shook her head. But... I'll go and fetch her.
_ Okay.
He sat back on the sofa, his mind in turmoil. What was happening? For a simple retirement the situation was complicated? He thought dimly that there was probably more to it, and that was bad news. He waited five minutes, then Sarah came back, immediately followed by Grim.
Kestrel rose and greeted his control director, seeing at once that she was in utter disarray and not feeling good at all. She was pale and shivering, and had a lost look in her eyes. But she smiled faintly at him and said:
_ Hello, Kestrel. So you have something to tell me?
_ Hi, Grim! Yes, please sit down.
She sat and asked Sarah to stay, as the yound woman was about to leave. So the two of them settled on the sofa opposite him, and he took out the letter from his pocket.
_ For you, he said, handing it to her.
She looked briefly at it but shook her head.
_ I can't accept it just yet, Kestrel.
_ Grim, he sighed, please take it. Don't open it yet if you don't want to, but Sam is counting on me. I can't let him down, he's already a wreck.
_ Does he believe I left him?
_ Yes, he said, startled by her question. Why? You didn't?
_ No, I didn't, she said softly while taking the envelope, with a strange voice. I just need some time to think, and with us arguing every hour it wasn't possible, that's all.
_ So that's not about him retiring, he nodded thoughtfully. I thought so, although it's a serious problem too. But what's happening, Grim?
_ I...
Grim suddenly dissolved into tears, and Sarah put a comforting arm around her. Bewildered, Kestrel stared at her in dismay. Grim was the backbone of the team, the rock on which they all could lean on, but now she was cracking, and she was the one needing support. He sat forward and told her gently:
_ Grim, what can I do for you?
_ Nothing, Kestrel, she said, wiping her tears and breathing deeply, trying to regain composure. Nothing except take care of Sam. Because I can't be with him just yet.
_ But why? Kestrel asked, his mind swirling with possibilities. You're both upset, you'd be stronger together, wouldn't you?
_ No, she said weakly. I need time alone.
She made a strange gesture, a fugitive one, but Kestrel saw it. She quickly put her hand on her belly, and the ops reclined back on the sofa, stunned. He asked:
_ You're pregnant?
She shot him a lost look, like a deer caught in the beams of a car, and broke into tears again. But Kestrel felt reassured. The problem was very complicated indeed, but at least they would be able to solve it. He sat forward again and asked her:
_ How much time?
_ Nearly three months, Grim confessed, tears flooding down her cheeks. But I learned about it yesterday evening only. I've been ill and irritable for a long time, but I never would've guessed...
_ So you have little time to take a decision, I assume.
_ Yes.
_ But, Grim, he said gently, you must tell Sam.
_ No, she sobbed. It's a decision I have to take alone.
_ I need to ask you something, he said seriously. Please don't be upset, okay?
_ Okay, she breathed deeply.
_ Is Sam the father?
_ Of course he is, Grim stated calmly, wiping her cheeks. I love him.
_ Then you must tell him, Kestrel said simply. He's as much involved as you are, Grim. He must take his responsibilities.
_ But that's what I don't want! she burst out, letting the strain show. He'll tell me to keep the baby, but it's not so simple!
_ I don't think so, he shook his head calmly. He'll see your health and the risks for you first, of that I'm sure. You're not too old to have a baby, Grim, but you're not in your twenties, and Sam knows it well enough.
_ Kestrel, I... I don't know what to do, she said, burying her face in her hands as Sarah stroked her back, sympathising. I've always wanted to have a baby, but I'm forty-seven. Being pregnant at my age is very risky. And Sam is sixty-four! He won't be around for fifty years on. And we live such a risky and chaotic life with Fourth Echelon! I have to think about all this.
_ I understand, he nodded calmly. But still, you can't decide alone, Grim. It's too important a thing to decide on your own. Like I said, Sam is as much involved as you are. And you can't hide something like that from him. It would shatter you, and your couple.
_ But how will I tell him? He's so anguished with his retirement thing already!
_ Trust me, he said darkly, he'll be very relieved when you tell him you're not leaving him. And he'll take the time to talk about it with you.
_ How is he? she asked him in dismay. Did he drink?
_ Yes, he admitted. By the way, I'm sorry.
She shot him a puzzled look, and he explained:
_ I destroyed your front door when Briggs and I went to see him this morning. Sam was completely plastered, he didn't want to open for us. But he had a cold shower, and now it's better.
_ Is he alone now?
_ Not really, Kestrel confessed. He's in hospital. He'll...
_ What? she cut him in alarm. What's the matter with him? Is he all right?
_ Yes, yes, don't worry, he told her in a soothing voice. He has decided to have surgery for his knee at last, that's all. His operation will happen early tomorrow morning.
_ And for his recovery? Sarah asked, concerned.
_ Briggs and Molly have invited him. He'll stay at their place, and Molly will take care of him.
Grim and Sarah looked relieved, and he saw that his control director, although clearly affected by Sam's state, was thinking that it would allow her a few more days of thinking alone. Then Grim opened Sam's letter at last and carefully read it, eyes brimming with tears. She folded it, wiping her cheeks, and said:
_ I'll write back. Kestrel, could you...?
_ Of course, he said gently. I'll go and see him tomorrow afternoon, I don't mind being a postman.
Sarah went to fetch a pen and a notepad, and Grim wrote a short letter, then put it in the envelope Sarah was handing her. Then she gave it to Kestrel, who pocketed it with a smile.
_ Thanks, Grim. It'll help him.
_ I hope so, she nodded weakly. But I want your word that you won't tell him about my pregnancy, Kestrel.
_ You'll have my word if you give me yours that you'll tell him about it in a few days, he said seriously, locking eyes with her. He has the right to know, Grim.
She held his gaze for a handful of seconds, and he feared she would start yelling at him. But she took a deep breath and said:
_ I swear I'll tell him in a few days, Kestrel.
_ Then I swear I won't tell him anything, as you'll be the one announcing it.
_ Good, she smiled. You truly know how to bargain hard.
He smirked.
_ One of the very few really useful things my foster father taught me.
She shot him a strange look, startled, but he calmly rose and said:
_ Well, I'll have a good night's sleep. It's been good seeing you both.
Grim simply nodded, obviously still in disarray, and Sarah escorted him to the front door. She whispered in an undertone as he was on the threshold:
_ Thank you, Kestrel. She needed it.
_ My honour, he replied calmly. Good night, Sarah.
_ Night, Kestrel. And say hello to my Dad, will you?
_ I will.
He walked to his pickup as the night was falling fast, and drove back to Shipley Hill. His mind was overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions, and he just wanted to have a quiet evening to mull over all that had happened and be ready to face the tough days that would follow. But when he entered the lobby of his building, he heard a terrified, high-pitched squeak and a woman screaming in Russian:
_ Aliosha! Hold on!
He ran to the stairs and looked up. And he saw with dread that Elena's son was hanging upside-down from a hook jutting out of the third landing's cemented floor, only alive thanks to his slowly ripping jeans, and Elena herself was desperately trying to reach him, almost toppling over the railing in anguish, sobbing.
Kestrel swiftly ran up the stairs to the second landing as some people were slowly exiting their apartments, puzzled and asking questions. But he ignored them and reached the railing just as a loud ripping noise echoed, and Elena screamed in terror. Without hesitation he jumped over the railing and extended his arms. His left one caught the opposite railing as a small figure collided with his right one, and he tightened his grip around the screaming boy. The momentum of the jump and the boy's weight made his left shoulder dislocate, but he gritted his teeth and held on. He knew he would soon have help.
And five seconds later, his neighbours from the second floor were leaning over the railing, extending their arms and grabbing the squirming boy. His vision tinted red by the pain, he saw Elena running down the stairs, tears flooding her cheeks, and she soon picked up her child who buried himself in her shoulder, sobbing and screaming in delayed shock.
Kestrel hoisted himself up with his right arm, and the helpful neighbours dragged him over the railing. He tumbled down on the floor and heard a balding man asking him:
_ Mr Loskov? Are you all right?
_ Yes, he said, panting. I'm all right, thanks.
_ Jesus! his wife was lamenting. What a catastrophe it could've been! Lucky you were there, Mr Loskov!
_ Yeah, another burly guy said grimly. And lucky you have keen reflexes!
He helped Kestrel on his feet, then noticed his shoulder, saying:
_ You look hurt. Shall I drive you to hospital?
_ No need, Kestrel said calmly, forcing down the pain. I'll put it back in place myself, I know how to do it.
_ You sure?
_ Absolutely, he nodded as Elena was heading upstairs, followed by the two concerned woman of the second landing. Don't worry about me, I'm okay.
_ Okay, then.
Kestrel went upstairs, where he saw the women fussing about Elena and her son on the landing, and the Russian woman shot him a strange look, still panic-stricken and grateful at the same time, but he simply nodded and entered his apartment, forcing down the rising groan.
