Author's note: This is a little shorter than the first few parts of this series, but I wanted to get an update out as soon as possible, as I feel awful about the massive wait


PART FOUR

"You can do this," Ward muttered to himself as he headed down the hall towards Trip's bunk.

He had been in his room alone since he finished therapy a couple of hours earlier, trying to psych himself up for what he was about to do. It had been a hard session, discussing Garrett and the woods, and he knew that what he was about to do wouldn't be any easier. But he needed to do it. Trip had been cautiously supportive of him in the weeks since he got back from Christian, and Ward felt he owed the other man a full explanation. Trip knew some of the story, but not all of it, and he deserved to hear it all, and hear it from Ward himself.

When he got to the door he stopped in front of it hesitantly. He didn't want to interrupt whatever the other man was doing, but he wanted this conversation to be private and the only way that was going to happen was in one of their bunks. Hopefully Trip wasn't too busy, he thought as he knocked timidly.

"Come in," Trip's voice came from behind the closed door.

Ward took a deep breath and then forced himself to push the door open halfway and stick his head in. "Do you have a minute?" he asked tentatively.

"Sure man," Trip replied easily. "What's up?"

Trip was still cautious of Ward, but mostly in the same way he always had been. Ward was something of a legend, especially to a student of Garrett, and Trip knew exactly what he was capable of. Even before finding out he was Hydra when they had been on the same side, Trip had a healthy respect for someone as good as Ward, especially given that the other man had helped him out of a few dicey situations. He hadn't been hit as hard by Ward's betrayal as Coulson's team, but he had still felt it keenly.

He could see the change in the other man though, even if Coulson's team were too blinded by their hatred to see it. Even the way he carried himself was different now, and it was obvious to anyone that looked that he wanted to make up for everything that had happened. Trip was optimistic for him, but still wary. He had trusted the other man easily before and been hurt; he would be less forthcoming with his trust this time until it was earned. And Ward was trying to earn it – he did everything that was asked of him and never complained; he was honest with everyone and starting to be much more open thanks to therapy; he was even pleasantly surprised when people didn't treat him poorly. So Trip was giving him the benefit of the doubt for now, but still wary.

"I'd like to tell you some things if that's okay," Ward said as he stepped more fully into the room. He wanted to close the door behind him but knew that he couldn't – Trip would have to be the one to decide to close it. "About my past."

Trip looked incredulous for a moment before he managed to mask it. Sure, Ward was more open now. He even talked about his past a little. But not with Trip. He talked about it with his therapist of course; with Becs because she knew it all already; some with Hunter and Bobbi Trip thought although he wasn't sure how much; even Fitz a little as far as Trip knew. But Ward coming to him and saying he wanted to talk about his past was a big deal and Trip knew it.

"If that's what you want," he agreed. He knew this must be difficult for Ward and didn't know how to make it any easier, but he added, "You know you don't have to right?"

"I know," the other man agreed. "But I want to."

Trip nodded. He did want to know more, so if Ward was willing to talk about it, he was definitely willing to listen. "Do you want to close the door?" he asked, figuring this was something he would want to do privately.

Ward nodded and closed the door behind him taking a few more steps into the room. They both looked at each other and then around the room a few times before Trip spoke again.

"How will this be easiest for you?" he asked. "Where do you want to sit?"

"Would it be okay if we didn't face each other?" Ward asked quietly. "I've been working on it with Thorne, but it's still hard for me to talk honestly about the past while making eye contact."

"No worries man," Trip replied, with a grin. "You want the ground at the side of the bed and I'll take the ground at the end?"

Ward gave a small smile in return and nodded, sitting down on the floor, making himself as comfortable as possible before he started. Talking about his past wasn't something he enjoyed. He did it with Becs easily enough because she was his family; and it wasn't too bad with Hunter or Bobbi because they never knew him before so it was all a clean slate with them; Fitz had made it easy on him, approaching him when he was trying to figure out how to talk to him and saying that whenever he was ready to talk about it, he was ready to hear it. But he wasn't really sure exactly how to start the conversation here, so he decided to take his therapist's advice and just be honest.

"I've been talking with my therapist about this for a while," he admitted quietly. "I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't know how, or if you would even want to listen. I feel like I owe you the truth though. Because you were my friend, and you believed in me, and I let you down. I hope that one day you can forgive me, that maybe we can be friends again-"

At this Trip interrupted. He had wanted to just let Ward talk without stopping him, but he couldn't let him believe that. "We are friends man. Sure, it isn't the same as it was. And maybe I'm a little wary of you. But we're friends."

Ward smiled slightly at that. "Thank you," he said quietly before taking a deep breath and continuing with what he wanted to say. "I know you know some of what my family is like from Becs, so I don't really want to talk too much about that. I wanted to talk to you about Garrett mostly, if that's okay?"

"That's cool," Trip agreed. He did know some of the history with Ward's family from Becs, and what he knew was awful, but it was the stuff with Garrett he really wanted to know about anyway. "Start wherever is most comfortable for you."

"The first time I met him, I was in juvie," Ward started the actually story, explaining briefly what had landed him in juvie, before moving on to meeting Garrett. "So I was angry at the world, but mostly at my family. And then this guy shows up and tells me he can get me out, can teach me to be strong. He was charming and said all the right things, and I believed him. I wanted out of there and away from my family so I accepted his offer. Next thing I know, he's leaving me in the woods in Wyoming with nothing but a dog…."


"What the hell is that noise?" Bobbi asked with a frown.

She and Becs were walking towards the south lounge of the base to meet up with the guys. The two of them had been off base for a few days on an assignment and knew that if they didn't let the guys know they were back then they would most likely worry. The south lounge was their usual meet up location at the end of the day, as Simmons and Skye stuck to the area near the lab on the other side of the base and so Grant was able to avoid their snide remarks. Usually though, they all sat around playing cards or watching movies. This sound they were hearing, that could almost be singing if it wasn't so awful, was definitely unexpected.

"It uh, well it sounds sorta like Grant… and Hunter?" Becs responded with a grimace. "But I mean, they don't usually sound like dying cats. So it's hard to say for sure."

They walked the last few feet down the hall and opened the door to the lounge quietly to find what could only be described as chaos. Fitz, Trip and Mack were sprawled across the lounges, drinks in hand and not even attempting to hide their laughter, while Grant and Hunter were dancing around, screeching into some kind of microphones which seemed to be hooked into the speakers to play along with the music. Homemade karaoke, wonderful. Bobbi suspected a great deal of alcohol to have been involved.

"Weren't you the one that tried to break me with goodbye. Do you think I'd crumble. Do you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no not I, I will survive…"Grant and Hunter continued not noticing the new additions to the room.

Terrible singing aside, with the door open it was actually easier to make out the words being 'sung' and she now recognised the song. It took everything in her for Bobbi to hold in her laughter. They were truly awful.

"What is going on here?" Becs demanded, managing to hide her laughter.

Thankfully her interruption was enough to shut the two 'singers' up as everyone spun to face the two women in the doorway.

"Fitz rigged it up for us!" Grant said with a goofy grin, as though this was all completely normal and in no way disturbing. "Isn't it great?"

"Why would you do this Fitz?" Becs asked, trying to keep a stern look on her face and not quite managing it in the face of all the drunken revelry.

"Well I didn't know they'd sound like that!" Fitz tried to defend himself but his giggles did nothing to help his case.

"Be honest," Mack said with a chuckle. "You just wanted to have a go."

"That too," Fitz agreed.

"Come sing with me Becs!" Grant called out happily, clearly not interested in the conversation going on around him.

"Yeah little one, get up here!" Hunter agreed, reaching out towards her with the hand holding his microphone as he sipped from the beer in his other hand.

Becs looked at Bobbi, who in turn looked at her. They shrugged in unison and headed further into the room, going straight for the fridge to grab their own drinks.

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?" Bobbi muttered.

"Pretty much," Becs mumbled before continuing loud enough for everyone to hear. "I need to be far less sober before I even consider singing."

Grant and Hunter's song had finished since Bobbi and Becs entered the room and Fitz and Grant were now in deep discussion about what they should sing. Apparently Grant wasn't giving up the mike for anyone, but rather just cycling through partners.

Bobbi sat between Hunter and Mack on one of the couches, while Becs joined Trip on another. "What prompted this?" she asked him quietly, seeing that while he had clearly been drinking too he was nowhere near as drunk as the others seemed.

"Therapy was tough for Ward today," he answered at the same volume. "They talked about the years he was alone in the woods."

Upon hearing that Becs wasn't surprised at the drunkfest going on in front of her. She knew that talking about everything with Garrett would be hard for Grant, especially since he was now able to see it all for what it actually was. She was a little surprised that Trip knew what he had talked about in therapy though. She knew that Grant had wanted to speak to Trip and tell him about his past, but as far as she knew that hadn't happened yet. For such a brave guy, her brother sure was scared about opening up to people. She looked at the specialist beside her silently for a few beats before she spoke.

"Don't take this the wrong way but-" she started before Trip interrupted.

"How the hell do I know what he talked about in therapy?" he finished her question with a grin.

"Well yeah but I was gonna be much nicer when I said it," Becs replied with a slight grin of her own.

"He came to my room a couple hours after he finished therapy," Trip told her quietly as Ward and Fitz started singing what sounded like a Backstreet Boys song. Honestly, what was she going to do with her brother? "Said he wanted to tell me some things about his past. He told me about Garrett and juvie and the woods. A lot of it I suppose I knew already in theory, but to actually hear him talk about it? It was so much worse. I don't know how he survived it to be honest."

Becs wasn't exactly shocked that Grant had opened up to Trip – she had known it would happen eventually. And it surprised her even less that Grant had chosen Trip to talk to about Garrett. Becs was the easiest to talk to about his family because she knew them – who they really were, what they were really like. Trip would be the obvious choice for talking about Garrett because he knew the other man, while Becs had never even met the guy.

"Well he is a survivor," she said lightly, waving her hand in the direction of her singing brother to indicate what she had walked in on a few minutes previously.

"He's definitely that," Trip agreed with a chuckle before he got serious again. "I guess I didn't know quite how bad it was. Being a specialist is hard training for anyone, but what Garrett put him through? The guy is lucky he's dead because if he was still around I would kill him for what he did to Ward."

"You and me both," Becs agreed, clinking her beer bottle against his. They sat quietly listening to Grant and Fitz for a few moments – and if she thought Hunter and Grant sounded like dying cats, she didn't even have words for how awful these two sounded. "So how did you get from discussions about his shitty past to karaoke?" she asked.

"Once he was done we decided a few drinks were in order, and grabbed Hunter, Mack and Fitz to join us," Trip started.

"Looks like they had more than a few," Becs interjected with a smirk.

"They certainly did," Trip agreed. "Which is how we ended up with karaoke." He raised his voice a bit then so everyone could hear, Fitz and Ward's latest song having just finished. "I'm pretty sure it's Hunter's fault though. I think he bet Fitz he couldn't make anything while he was this drunk."

"'Course he was wrong wasn't he?" Fitz spoke up. "I'm a Scot man, I can hold me drink. Unlike 'im! So I put together this beauty." He patted the mike in his hand against the speaker beside him, getting a squeal from the equipment for his troubles.

"You're a genius Fitz, of course you are," Ward said. "Don't know what Hunter was thinking questioning that."

"That's right!" Fitz agreed as he spun to look back at Ward. "Now what are we going to sing next?"

"Sorry Fitz, it's my turn," Bobbi said with a grin as she jumped up and moved over to the two men to look through the song options.

"He really is a genius," Becs said quietly to Trip.

"He is," Trip agreed. He watched contemplatively as Fitz argued with Bobbi about what she and Ward should sing before he spoke again. "Have you noticed that his speech ahh…"

"Has been getting better since he's been spending time with Grant?" Becs asked.

"Yeah pretty much. His ability to focus too."

She nodded and thought about whether or not she should tell him what she knew, before deciding it wouldn't do any harm.

"Grant spoke to Thorne a lot about him in his first couple of sessions," she said softly. "He hates himself for what he did to Fitz more than for pretty much anything else. So she gave him some exercises that Fitz could try to help him. Obviously actual medical help would be the best thing for him, but since Coulson doesn't seem to be doing that Grant found another way. They practice together a few times a day."

She didn't tell him everything – like that Fitz had started seeing Thorne himself – because that wasn't her place. But she felt comfortable sharing that part with him.

"He's a good man," Trip said quietly.

"He is," Becs agreed.

She finished off her beer and placed the bottle down beside her, thinking about getting up to get another. Before she could decide though, she was pulled to her feet by her hand. "You have to sing with us!" Bobbi laughed as Grant dragged Becs over towards her. "We've even got the perfect song."

Based on Bobbi's giggles, Becs assumed the other woman had had more than the one drink Becs herself had had. She looked at where Bobbi was pointing to see what song they had chosen and laughed when she saw their selection.

"Fine, fine," she agreed. "Even if I am still far too sober for this."

The music for 'We are Family' started as Grant held out his mostly still full beer towards her.


Ward woke promptly at 5.30 the next morning as he did every day, and for the first time in a long time he wished that he wasn't so good at waking up without an alarm. His head felt awful and his stomach rolled as he moved to sit up. The likelihood of him getting through the morning without throwing up was not promising. Oh God, why did he let himself drink so much the night before? He took a few deep breaths before forcing himself to stand and move to the bathroom. He had to be in the kitchen in less than an hour to make breakfast and he definitely needed to shower before that.

He stumbled into the bathroom, not even glancing in the direction of the mirror, knowing that he didn't want to see how he looked until after his shower at least. He grabbed his toothbrush as he shrugged out of his clothes, turning the shower to cold and hopping directly under the spray. The cold water helped to wake him up a little, and although slightly painful, also helped to relieve some of the sick he was feeling in his gut. Getting rid of the awful taste in his mouth helped to make him feel more human as well.

Half an hour later, and feeling about five times better than when he first work, he was heading down the hall towards the kitchen when he felt someone coming up behind him. He really didn't want to speak to anyone, and unless it was one of the select few that discussed the terms of his conditional release, he wasn't allowed to speak to them anyway, so he just kept his eyes down and continued walking hoping whoever it was would just pass them by.

"You look like crap," came agent Rosten's voice from beside him.

"Thanks," he said sarcastically. She had been made an exception to the 'don't talk to anyone' rule after the first time he ignored her. She had found out why and gone to Coulson and demanded Ward be allowed to speak to her. She refused to treat any human being the way some of the agents there treated him. "You know just how to make someone feel good about them self."

"Please," she scoffed. "You're an attractive guy. I know it, you know it, everyone knows it. You're been hot right now while you look like you'd rather be hugging the toilet than making breakfast."

That was enough to make him release a slight chuckle, even if it did nothing to improve the pounding in his head.

"I would rather be hugging the toilet than making breakfast," he agreed. "But duty calls and all that."

"Yeah have fun with that," she smirked as he turned towards the kitchen doors, while she continued on heading for the gym. "The smell of food is never good for a hangover."

Her laughter followed him into the kitchen as he opened the door and walked in. Upon entering the kitchen he was met with a sight at which he couldn't help but laugh. Hunter was sprawled over the centre counter, looking even worse than Ward felt.

"You know you don't have to be here right?" Ward asked quietly, in deference to his own pounding head as much as Hunter's.

"Oh God, stop yelling," Hunter moaned.

This caused Ward to laugh softly again. "I'm not yelling."

"You definitely are!" Hunter complained as he lifted his head a fraction to look at Ward. "Why don't you look as awful as I do?" he asked with a groan.

"Cold shower?" Ward offered. He felt like crap, but he really didn't look as bad as Hunter and that was the only explanation he had. He hadn't taken anything for his head yet, although he was definitely going to hunt down some aspirin as soon as he got the chance.

"That sounds horrible," Hunter said before burying his face back in his arms. He mumbled something that could have been "the lights in here are too bright" but Ward honestly wasn't sure.

"Why don't you head back to bed?" he suggested, causing Hunter to lift his head quickly and then close his eyes to stop himself from throwing up and the room from spinning.

"Don't be stupid Ward. We're breakfast buddies. I can't just abandon my breakfast buddy! That's just crazy talk!" he declared with a grin.

"You better not be sick in any of the food!" Ward warned before moving to get started. He was already running a little behind but figured a few minutes wouldn't hurt anyone.


By the time Ward and Hunter joined their usual breakfast table everyone else was already there and looking a little worse for wear.

"No more drunk karaoke," Mack said as the two men sat down.

"Agreed," Becs moaned as she reached over and stole some bacon off Ward's plate.

"Hey!" he said as he swiped at her with his fork. "'t's mine. Get your own." The benefits of his cold shower were wearing off and he still hadn't had a chance to hunt down any aspirin so he was feeling pretty rough.

"But I need it," Becs muttered as she shoved it in her mouth.

"Well it seems it isn't just you that looks like crap," Agent Rosten said as she passed by the table. She didn't eat with them at every meal but she did join them occasionally, although it looked like she was on her way out so this would probably not be one of those occasions. Ward grunted in agreement as he shovelled more greasy food into his mouth. It wasn't what he would usually have for breakfast, but even he knew it was the best thing in his hung over state. "In fact, compared to these guys you look almost normal."

"I take offence to that," Fitz mumbled around his pancakes. "We can't all be as pretty as Ward."

"It's true," Hunter agreed. "He is a rare gem to which none of us can possibly compare."

"Shut up," Ward grumbled as he pushed Hunter.

Rosten laughed as she continued walking. "Told you Ward, everyone knows it."

He rolled his eyes at her, but instantly regretted it when his already pounding head gave a particularly painful thump.

"Which one of us are you with today Grant?" Bobbi asked after a few minutes of quiet eating at the table.

"Uhhh," he said trying to think of who was working with. It took a moment before he remembered, and instantly wished he hadn't. "Damn," he cursed as he realised this day was going to get worse before it got better.

"What's wrong?" Hunter asked.

"I just remembered. I'm not with any of you today," Ward replied miserably.

"Who are you with then?" Mack asked.

"Oh shit," Becs hissed as she too remembered who he was meant to be spending the day with.

"Skye," he said quietly. "I'm spending the day with Skye."


Author's note: I am so, so sorry about the delay in getting this out! I've been absolutely terrible about updating and feel awful about it. Unfortunately, the holidays happened and then a whole slew of personal stuff cropped up and I just haven't had a chance to write or update until now. Hopefully this at least makes up for it a little