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The Arrow characters and universe do not belong to me.
"You're being ridiculous." Felicity huffed. "I'm, literally, walking ten feet to the front door." To say things had been tense since their plane touched down would be an understatement. When Felicity saw that the SUV that had been rented for them was black, she went on a very loud tangent on how they were in the desert in the summer and that a black vehicle was not something that anyone in their right mind would drive, unless they wanted to be roasted alive. When Oliver offered to exchange the SUV for a lighter, less heat absorbent, color she told him that he was being ridiculous. It didn't get any better once they started driving. Felicity had never been to her mom's apartment and they'd gotten lost looking for the landlord. Felicity had been snapping at him for following the GPS and not her own memory of the area. The GPS had been right, but Oliver wasn't suicidal and had no intention of pointing that fact out to her. Oliver realized that coming back to Vegas to face cleaning out her mom's place was causing Felicity stress and that she wasn't really angry with him. If she needed to use her loud voice on him, he was more than willing to take it. Their current disagreement was whether or not Oliver was going to accompany Felicity to retrieve the keys to her mom's place from the landlord. "He's just going to hand me the keys and I'll be right back. You'll barely notice I'm gone."
"Fine. I'll wait here." Oliver said through a clenched jaw. Not waiting for him to change his mind Felicity sprinted from their rented SUV and knocked on the landlord's door. He wasn't angry with her over her over-reaction to the color of the rental car or about getting lost, but he was beginning to lose his cool over the text messages she was receiving and sending every few minutes. When he finally asked her who was sending her all the messages she had shrugged her shoulders saying friends sending condolences. It was all he could do not to tear her cell from her hands. Every text she received was increasing her anxiety level. He could practically taste the adrenalin in the air.
Felicity returned to the SUV, clutching a key in her hand. "He said that he'll swing by later. I just need to call him when we are almost ready to leave."
"Do you want me to drop you off and I'll go get packing materials or do you want to come with me?" Oliver asked in a quiet voice.
All the color drained from her face. "Drop me off, by myself? Why?"
Oliver turned to face her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I thought maybe you'd want a chance to be alone in her apartment."
Her eyes welled up with tears and she clutched his hand. "I don't want," she took a shuttering breath, "I can't face it alone."
"Hey, you won't have to. I won't leave you, okay." Oliver waited for her to nod.
Felicity programmed her mom's address into the GPS. She leaned back into her seat, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Did you bring your quiver?"
Oliver took in their surroundings quickly, trying to assess what danger he missed. He noticed a small smile on her lips and began to relax. "No, why?"
"I feel like I should apologize and thought it might be easier to say to your quiver." She titled her head to face him, eyes open and a big smile on her face.
"My quiver is very forgiving." A wide grin spread across his own face. He reached back out for her hand. "It's okay, you don't have anything to apologize for."
"Thank you." She said as she squeezed his hand.
Twenty minutes later, after purchasing packing supplies, they were standing inside Donna Smoak's apartment. Oliver wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but what they found wasn't it. He'd been fearing the worst, shag carpeting, leopard print – well, everything, drug paraphernalia and maybe some dogs playing poker on a velvet background. However, Donna's one bedroom apartment was small, neat and incredibly beige. What he hadn't expected was how heartbreakingly unsentimental the apartment was. Not one picture of Felicity, not one drawing or report card that would let anyone know that this woman had given birth to and raised the amazing Felicity Smoak. Oliver had always been a little embarrassed by the number of photographs of him his mother had strewn about the mansion. When he returned, she seemed to put up a new photo of him up every day. When he'd complained, she told him that she had five years of photos to make up for. He stopped complaining after that. He couldn't find one photo of Felicity anywhere and his heart ached for his partner.
Even with Felicity having only one working arm, they had packed up all of her mom's belongings in just under four hours. In exchange for all of her mom's furniture, the landlord agreed to help Oliver load the SUV he'd rented. Felicity was bringing back a single suitcase that she had filled with items from her mom's bedroom. Oliver hadn't asked what she was keeping and Felicity hadn't volunteered. Everything else was going to Goodwill. Oliver had no love for Donna but it saddened him to think that her whole life had fit into the back of an Escalade and would be sifted through by strangers. No one's life should amount to so little.
After emptying the SUV at the nearest Goodwill, Felicity insisted they stop at a drive-in diner. A teenager on roller skates came out to their car and took their order. Felicity assured him that even though the place was totally cheesy, the milkshakes were out of this world. After a waitress took their order, Felicity excused herself to use the bathroom. When she hadn't returned after fifteen minutes, Oliver went looking for her. He found her behind the restaurant, by the dumpsters. She was pacing back and forth with her eyes glued to the ground as she spoke on her cell. Oliver quickly returned to the car before she spotted him. She returned to the car shortly after he did and they sat quietly while they waited for their food. She was staring out of her window and absently clutching at something inside her purse. When the food came, she moved her bag to the floor and took her milkshake from him with a smile. Instead of taking a sip, she resumed staring out her window. Oliver watched as the condensation from the cup dripped onto her thighs and between her bare legs - she didn't even flinch. "So, I was thinking of getting a lemur for our base as a team mascot." Oliver said, trying to determine if she was even remotely present.
"Okay," she said absently. Oliver felt defeated. He knew she was hurting and hiding something from him, but he didn't know how to break through to her. Her head suddenly whipped around at him. "A lemur? Why would you get us a lemur as a mascot? We need something that flies, like ah," she bit her bottom lip and furrowed her brow, "a flying squirrel."
Oliver had been teasing but now he was feeling a little insulted. "You think our mascot should be a flying squirrel?"
"Yeah, something that can't really fly but jumps from great heights. Although, having to feed it nuts would be a problem. It would have to be me or the squirrel and I hope you'd pick me over a squirrel. Squirrels would probably be terrible for all my wires. Definitely no squirrels." Felicity finally took a sip of her milkshake. "A Draco lizard would probably be more appropriate - greener at least." Felicity reached over and grabbed an onion ring from the paper basket on the console between them. "I have enough to take care of between you and Diggle, we don't need a pet, and I actually thought we brought Roy in as our mascot."
Oliver laughed when he thought of Roy's reaction to learning he was the new Team Arrow mascot. "It was between the lemur and telling you I spilled a latte on your computer. You kind of disappeared on me for a few minutes."
She took another sip of her milkshake. "Mmmm, good right?" When she saw that Oliver would not be deterred, she said with a sigh, "It's just, worlds colliding, you know?"
"I'm not following." Oliver shifted in his seat so he had a better view of her face.
"Didn't you ever wonder why I didn't go running for the hills once you let me in on your secret?" She asked. He had wondered, but he'd always been afraid to ask her. He feared that if he asked her why she stayed, she'd realize what a colossally dumb choice she'd made and leave him and never look back. He was still afraid to say it, so instead, he shrugged. She tilted her head and smiled at him. "Come on, Oliver? What normal girl, what normal law abiding girl would tie herself to a vigilante shooting arrows into people whose names appear in invisible ink in a book?"
"You're a normal girl." Oliver said defensively. "Albeit a genius, but you're normal. You're the most normal person I know."
Felicity laughed. "What is truly frightening about that statement is that I know the people you know and you're probably right, I am the most normal." She took another sip of her shake. "I was going to say Diggle is more normal than me, but with Deadshot , Lyla and A.R.G.U.S. I might actually have that over him."
"So, what are you telling me? You stayed because you're abnormal?" Oliver did his best to keep a straight face.
She scrunched her face up at him in response. "I'm just saying that you weren't the first criminal I'd come across. Hell, you weren't even the most intimidating criminal I'd come across." She looked back out the window. "So much of what my life was, here in Vegas, it was like it happened to someone else. I thought if I could just keep this place away from the life I created in Starling, it would be like it never happened. I never wanted you to see me in the context of all this." She gestured towards her window.
Oliver knew exactly what she was talking about. When he thought about his time before and during the island, it was like watching a grainy movie about someone else. He'd always been reluctant to share what happened to him with Felicity because he feared if she knew the truth about the things he'd done and experienced, she might never look at him the same way. Now that he was in love with her, the thought of her rejecting him because of his past actions had a vice grip on his heart. "I get that."
"I know you do." Felicity put her shake in the cup holder and reached for his hand. "I think you more than anyone else gets me and you don't even know the truth about me."
"Is that what all these texts are about?" Oliver asked squeezing her hand. "You can tell me anything."
"Oliver, your grandfather was the governor. Your father started a business with an idea and in less than ten years grew it into a successful multi-national billion dollar company." Felicity said as a way of explanation for a question that he didn't know had been asked.
Oliver suspected that Felicity was about to tell him she wasn't good enough for him, which was insane. "Felicity, my parents were involved in a murder conspiracy that was responsible for the death of over five hundred people. Having lots of money and power didn't make them good people."
"And yet, they were Queens. Your mom would've been elected mayor, buildings are named after your dad. My mom was a cocktail waitress with a rap sheet a mile long and I'm pretty sure my dad was no prize. The life I led before MIT, you wouldn't recognize it. I'm more than from the wrong side of the tracks. It's more than I grew up poor. Be honest, if you hadn't needed help with the laptop you stole from Lawton, our paths would never have crossed. Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak don't belong in the same orbit. The more you know the truth about me, the more unthinkable we really are."
"Bullshit," he said angrily. Felicity gaped at him in shock. "That's bullshit and I don't accept it. I know you don't judge me for my parent's failings, why would you assume I'd judge you for yours? We are not our parents."
"This isn't about who my parents are, it's about who I was. Oliver, I know you don't care, but with everything that's happened with Vic looking for the Arrow's accomplice, my kidnapping and the paparazzi still looking for a juicy Oliver Queen story we need to be smart about this and not emotional. Be honest, my mom handed the press a story on a silver platter. It's only a matter of time before my past gets dug up. I've gotten rid of my digital footprint prior to MIT, but someone only needs to come here and start asking questions. Everything could come crashing down on us." Felicity's eyes welled up with tears. "I'm a liability to you now."
He knew that the press would continue to be relentless with Felicity. That morning the tabloids were full of intimate pictures of Oliver and Felicity holding hands, Oliver holding Felicity in a tight embrace and the photo that was making the rounds on all the morning television shows, Oliver holding Felicity's shoulders as he pressed a kiss against her forehead. Vic's absence from the funeral and his publicist's confirmation that he and Felicity had broken up were just fueling the fire. Maybe they should hire a publicist, he thought glumly. If they put themselves out there for the press, maybe they'd back off. Oliver leaned across the console and took Felicity's face in between his hands. "You are not, have not and will never be a liability to me. You make me stronger. Do you understand?" Felicity averted her eyes and tried to pull away from him. He took her chin firmly in his hand and raised her eyes to meet his. "Do you understand?"
"Yes," she said weakly as she lowered her eyes.
"Felicity, look at me." Oliver waited for her to comply. "Nothing your mom said to you the night on the docks is true. You know that, right?"
"Oliver."
"You are none of the things she said."
"Oliver," she sighed.
"Felicity, please listen. When I see you, this is what I know. "You are smart. You are funny. You are kind. You are trusting. You are brave. You are strong. You are terrifying. You are beautiful and not just the way you look. You are lit from within and every time I look at you I'm amazed that you want to have anything to do with me. I will tell you what is unthinkable, my life without you in it." Felicity's eyes filled with tears and she gave him a weak smile. Oliver released her and leaned back into his seat. Felicity turned to stare out the window again. He knew it was her grief and anger talking, but he was unsettled by her despondency. In time, they would be able to move past this, like they'd moved past every other obstacle thrown at them. He just needed to be the reassuring voice in her head the way she'd become the voice in his. Whenever Oliver went someplace too dark in his mind, it was always Felicity's voice that pulled him out. He couldn't bring her mom back and he couldn't make her childhood the one she deserved but he could be the voice of encouragement.
"I'm not really hungry anymore." Felicity said as she put her half-finished milkshake into the paper bag with her untouched burger. Oliver gathered up all their trash and walked across the covered walkway and deposited their trash. He turned back and was struck by the number of cars sitting in the drive-in. There were couples, groups of friends and families. He wondered about the conversations taking place inside each of the cars. A woman's high pitch laugh brought his attention to a young couple, probably out on a date. The young man was feeding french fries to his date, but he was intentionally missing her mouth. The woman had dabs of ketchup on her nose and cheek which the man was playfully removing with kisses . He wondered what it would be like to be sitting in a car with Felicity and not have so much grief between them. More than anything, Oliver wanted to be able to make her laugh. He turned back towards her and found that Felicity was watching him. She smiled and waved to him. He couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face as he waved back.
Oliver climbed back into the SUV and began to enter the address of their hotel into the car's GPS. Felicity placed her hand over his and her eyes sought his. "Would you mind if we made a stop? There is someone I'd like to see. Someone, I'd like you to meet." She gave him her full genuine Felicity smile and he would do whatever it took to keep it on her face.
"Sure, whatever you want to do." Oliver tried to give her his most reassuring smile. Felicity sighed as she relaxed against the seat. He couldn't imagine who she wanted to introduce him to.
Notes: Thank you for reading.
Next up, Felicity introduces Oliver to someone from her past.
