Author Note: Many, many, many thanks to my awesome beta xosummerxo! Any mistakes are mine alone.

Author's Note 2: Ok, I'm a raging idiot and I credited the wrong person as my beta. :P x0xsecretx0x is the person that deserves the credit and I hope she doesn't want to kill me too much.

Disclaimer: Don't own Veronica Mars but there are days I really wish I did.

CHAPTER 4

Logan's carefully prepared speech evaporated the second Veronica answered the door. His mouth went dry when he saw her and he stood there, stunned, drinking in the sight of her.She was still small and delicate looking but the forceful personality that had reared its head after Lilly died, still shone for the world to see from her eyes. Her hair was short again, but not as edgy as it was in high school. He even thought he recognized the shirt she was wearing as one she'd stolen out of Duncan's closet.

She was shocked to see him standing there, and he didn't know if, under the surprise, she was happy to see him or not He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Swallowing convulsively, he tried again. "Hey Veronica." It came out sheepish, not confident and self assured like he'd been going for, but at least his instinctive reaction to be a jackass didn't seem to have kicked in yet.

Taking the fact that she hadn't slammed the door in his face as a good sign, he cleared his throat and forced himself to continue on. "I just got back in town and I thought I'd come by and see how you're doing." His stomach dropped as she just stared at him, her face expressionless now that she'd mastered her surprise. She still wasn't saying anything. That can't be good, he thought, as he felt his heart break a little more.

"I…." His voice trailed off, he wasn't sure what to say next. "I bought a house." He offered up quickly, trying to hide his growing desperation. "I'm moving in next week, I've got a room at the Grand until then. A week after that I start work at my new job. I was hoping we could catch up, maybe hang out until I have to start work?"

She raised an eyebrow then, somehow managing to look challenging and disbelieving at the same time, and it was easy to remember how that look had intimidated so many people over the years. "Logan, you've been gone for three years and you decide to just turn up on my doorstep unannounced? You want to "hang out" and "catch up"? Where the hell have you been?" She sounded…angry. And Logan, honestly, was hurt. It wouldn't have taken much effort on her part to find out where he'd gone. Obviously she'd been too mad to look, or maybe she just didn't care enough to bother. It was hard to stand there, feeling so damn unsure but he reminded himself that he was a man on a mission and he straightened up and squared his shoulders. He was going to find a way to have the woman that he loved be a part of his life again.

"I transferred colleges." He told her, wanting to soften her anger. "I needed to get out of Neptune and figure out how to be an adult, how to stand on my own two feet." She'd always wanted him to grow up after all, to take things seriously. "I graduated and decided it was time to come home." He had to bite back a sigh of relief as the anger in her eyes lessened.

"I can understand having to get out of Neptune." She told him, "But I still don't understand why you turned up on my doorstep. You haven't called or written in three years Logan. That's a long time to go without talking to someone only to turn up unannounced."

He nodded, "It is a long time Ronnie and I'm sorry that we, that I, didn't keep in touch. You were really angry after I beat up Piz and I realized that all we ever do is hurt each other." He caught a glimpse of that same hurt flash across her face. "I didn't want to hurt you anymore. I went away because I wanted to become the kind of guy that deserved a woman like you. I didn't want to be this trust fund slacker who did nothing but party and drink anymore. And at any rate, the way I was blowing through my trust fund, I wasn't going to able to support myself much longer."

He braced himself, sure that she was going to make some comment about a leopard not changing its spots or something equally disbelieving. But she didn't and he couldn't help but grin at her. "I'd like for us to become friends again. I've missed you."

Seeing Veronica step back from the doorway and motion for him to come inside was one of the happiest moments of Logan's life. Oh, there was plenty of work to be done in order to form any sort of relationship between them, even if it was nothing more than friendship. But her letting him in was a start. And sort of symbolic, he thought.

Spotting Backup laying on the couch, he immediately settled himself next to the dog and started to scratch him behind the ears. It gave himself to do with his hands, a distraction, even if it wasn't a very good one. Logan could feel the weight of Veronica's stare and knew that even the few seconds of stalling was too much for her. She never was one to beat around the bush when she could get straight to lancing the wound. He cleared his throat again, and finally met her impossibly blue eyes, fighting against the urge to lose himself in them.

"So how've you been Ronica?" He asked, hoping that she'd be at least willing to help him carry the awkward conversation, a hope that was quickly dashed when she responded with nothing more than a shrug of the shoulders. Letting out a chuckle that was only slightly bitter, he smiled. "Not gonna make this easy for me are you?" And then nodded his head, knowing that she wasn't going to bother answering his question.

"Are you still angry at me for the Piz thing? Or is it the bodyguard that I hired to protect you that's eating at you?" He deliberately left Madison off of the list because that was one transgression that he knew neither of them wanted to remember.

She sighed impatiently and started to tap her foot. She hadn't bothered to sit down, choosing instead to stand in front of him, arms crossed, jaw clenched. "So is that the 'I'd rather be spelunking' look or the 'I'd rather be tied down to an ant hill' face?" He said in an attempt to tease her gently into a better mood. It didn't work, no surprise there. "God, Veronica, why did you let me in instead of slamming the door in my face if you were planning on making this so difficult?"

Her eyes filled with tears and his heart literally skipped a beat. He was on his feet before he even realized that he was moving, wrapping his arms around her. The feeling that he was finally home was almost overwhelming. And she let him hold her. She actually let him tuck her head under his chin and hold her tightly against his chest.

"I missed you so much." He heard her whisper, her voice sounding heartbreakingly sad. "I never thought you'd actually leave me Logan. I thought that out of everyone in my life, you and my dad were always going to be the ones that were there. But you left, you never said goodbye, you just…left." And then her tiny hands flattened against his chest and she shoved him away. "I don't know if I'll ever forgive you for that."