A/N: In the defence of Dinah, I wouldn't take the explanation her ex-boyfriend who is having a very bad couple of months gave to her abrasive younger brother that he isn't particularly close to as the definitive answer on what she was thinking.
I was fast asleep when the howling woke me up.
Without thinking I got out of bed, prepared to be hustled off to Aunt Rachel's without explanation, already planning what I could do to Will when we sat around having breakfast, waiting for my parents. Then I remembered that I was a werewolf—I knew what the howling meant.
It wasn't just my parents disappearing to fight anymore.
I was going to get to fight vampires!
There was just one tiny problem.
"Stay here," Dad ordered.
"Excuse me?"
"Stay here," he repeated. "With your sister. We can handle this without you."
"I am not babysitting while you—!"
"Hush," Mom snapped. "You'll wake her. Someone has to stay, Levi."
"She's fourteen. And you promised! You said I could—"
"Your sister is not waking up to find us all gone," Dad said with same finality. "You are not to leave your sister alone. Understand?"
"Yes, sir," I snarled. Asshole. Major asshole.
I hated my parents.
They were already out the door, phasing on the fly, rushing off to help whoever was on patrol trace the scent of the vampires. Will and Brian would be there (actually...maybe not; it would depend on how sober Sam was because Brian wouldn't leave the kids if his dad was too out of it) but even if the three of us and Sam weren't there that left seven wolves. Not good odds if you were a vamp.
I still could have helped.
So I picked up the phone and called my Aunt Rachel.
It took me a minute to convince her to come over, but in the end she agreed. Uncle Paul must have told her to stay put. With her here, Dad couldn't complain about me leaving Judy alone and I could join the hunt instead of sitting on my ass.
"What's all the noise about?" Jubes asked. I hadn't heard her wake up, but it was about time. How could she not hear the howling? "Are Mom and Dad gone?"
I hated how scared she sounded just then.
"It's nothing. Just go back to bed."
"They're out there, aren't they? Fighting...vampires." The word was foreign in her mouth. She had heard the stories but she hadn't seen our parents rip the truth to pieces with their teeth. Judy didn't get it. I wanted to keep it that way.
"They'll be fine, kid. Or they would be if I could look after them."
"You're babysitting?"
She sat down beside me at the table, looking apologetic. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and messed up her hair a bit. She punched me (I warned her to stop, but she didn't listen) then got ice for her banged up hand.
"Sorry," I said.
"You should go," she murmured. "I'm fine by myself."
"Sure, kid. I know. I'm just going to wait a bit; give them time to realize how much they miss me."
Aunt Rachel showed up pretty quickly after that, Benji half-asleep beside her. The benefit of being a kid was that he thought this was cool; he was also asleep on the lower bunk in Judy's room before I had finished thanking Aunt Rachel for coming.
She just told me to get my ass out of the house.
Hell yes.
It took me a moment to get oriented after I phased. Everything was chaos in the middle of a hunt. Quil had the vampire in his sight, so I concentrated on his thoughts, on figuring out where he was so I could get there in time to help. Realistically, I knew I'd be too late, but I wanted to at least try.
Embry reached Quil first; my father ordered them to attack together. They jumped.
The vamp never even had a chance.
Crap. So much for any fun I was going to get to have tonight.
Next time, Will told me with a shrug. He had been up in Forks doing business and had taken too long to catch up with the rest.
I was going to make fun of him when my father interrupted.
What the HELL are you doing here? Considering he was just a disembodied voice, he sure managed to sound loud in my head. I told you to protect your sister.
Aunt—
He didn't give me a chance to explain, just started getting into it, outlining all the ways I was a lousy son and a crappy werewolf. There was a lot for him to pick from him and apparently my dad had a better memory than I thought.
The good thing about being a werewolf was that I was both a wolf and a human being. I phased back. No way was I listening to that when I didn't have to.
The forest was a lot colder when I was stark naked, no fur coat to keep me warm. I didn't care. The anger helped keep me warm, even if I couldn't get too angry. There was no way I was going to risk phasing back with him.
A tiny grey wolf eventually appeared at my side. She didn't phase back (thankfully, because I really didn't want to have to deal with my naked mother just then), just fell in step beside me. Since she wasn't trying to make me do anything I let her stay with me.
"Judy's safe," I promised. "Aunt Rachel is with her. I made sure she showed up before I left. I wouldn't—"
For some reason, I couldn't really talk. I had to look away, which is why the tongue on my hand made me jump. My mother was licking me. Somehow it wasn't freaky; it was reassuring.
After she had given Aunt Rachel the bed, my mother went to talk to Judy. I didn't blame her for that; I could wait until my little sister wasn't freaking out before I started telling my mother that she really should consider getting a divorce.
Even though Benji was in the room (which meant they were whispering) I could still hear them. My ears were getting great. I could picture it easily. Mom would be standing up beside the ladder as Judy lay in bed, heads bent close.
"I'm sorry we woke you up. I just wanted to let you know we were back."
"Did you kill the vampires?"
"Vampire. And...yes, I guess. We took care of him."
"Cool. You know, Mom, I was thinking...all this waking up in the middle of the night can't be good for me. I should stay home from school tomorrow and recuperate."
"No."
"But it's impossible to learn while exhausted."
"Your siblings did it."
"Di's a genius. I need my beauty rest."
My mother laughed. Why was it little sisters were cute, but I was just a jackass? It wasn't fair. "You're out of the house by ten, tomorrow."
"Mean." I could hear my sister tucking the hair behind her ear, so I had two seconds where I knew my mother was going to kill me but where I couldn't do anything to stop it.
"What happened to your hand?"
"Oh." To her credit, Judy tried to think of something. But under my mother's glare, hurricanes decided it would be easier to just quiet down. "I hit Levi. It wasn't his fault."
"That's what you get for going around hitting people. Violence never solved anything." Except for the leadership problem in La Push and the threat of incoming vampires, but I guess Mom didn't feel like going into that right now. "Did you put ice on it?"
"Yeah. It's feeling a bit better. He said I didn't break anything."
"That's good, then. Out by ten, Judy."
"Promise," my sister agreed. I heard my mother kiss her goodnight before she crept out to talk to me. Dad still hadn't come back but I wasn't going to ask where he was.
"He was just worried," she said quietly.
She was covering for him? I couldn't believe it. I should have expected it, of course, because when did my mother not cover for him, but it still pissed me off.
"Why do you always do this? Why do you always lie for him? I'm your son! Can't you just tell me the damn truth for once in my damn life?"
She seemed taken aback. Good.
Screw her.
Screw them both.
"Levi, where are you going?"
"Anywhere but here," I snarled. She stared at me with her big dark eyes, completely lost. I...I couldn't look at her very long. So I headed down to the beach and met up with some of the guys I hadn't seen for a while.
Will and Brian showed up at two in the morning, but by then I was high enough that I didn't care.
"We've got to go," Will said to me, ignoring the others. Brian was staring at them, totally freaked out.
"I'm busy."
"Levi, I'm damn tired. Let's just go home."
The others heckled Will, but not for long. These guys were tough, but everyone knew my cousin had a short temper. And that the two of us were a team.
"Fuck off."
Will said nothing. Just sat down beside me. Then he ordered Brian to get my other side.
"I said: fuck off."
"Free country," he shrugged.
"This is what you two do for fun?" Brian asked.
I was in a much better mood so I got back to ignoring them. The stars were moving tonight and I was going to enjoy the small buzz I had managed to create.
The bed was like sleeping on cardboard, which is how I knew it wasn't mine. I liked my mattress comfy, thank you very much. Not that the bed was that foreign to me; even with my eyes closed I knew it was Will's. I didn't even have to use my sense of smell. His house was closer to the beach; it was a lot easier to crash here.
The room was a mess (to better hide the way most of the floor could be opened up) so I was on high alert as I picked my way through the disaster. Besides the bed and the clothes on the floor there was nothing much in the room besides vaguely obscene posters on the wall and the bookshelf crammed in beside the bed. Aunt Rachel thought he used it to hide drugs; Will resented the implication that he would be that obvious.
I found my cousin in the kitchen, making scrambled eggs.
"Those better be for me," I said. "I'm starving."
"The guys wanted to know why you didn't OD last night. How much shit did you take?"
"What did you tell them?" I asked as I got something to drink. My head felt a little cloudy but it wasn't bad at all.
"That as sweet as them babysitting was, you looked fine so clearly they were too stoned to count." Will looked like he wanted to throw the frying pan at my head, but left it at that.
"Thanks. Where is everybody?"
"Mom's at work and Paul took Benji to school."
I was surprised; he must have seen it too.
"If I didn't have to babysit your pathetic ass this morning I would have done it. But Paul has a job this week and the school's on the way."
"So glad you could fit me into your busy schedule."
"What?"
"Nothing. I'm going to take off. You wanna meet me at the beach tonight or will you be too busy fucking Marley?"
For like half a second, Will looked surprised. Then he flipped me off. "I hold my kid brother's hand because he's seven, Levi. I'm not going to hold yours. You already have me hanging out with freaking Brian."
"Screw you."
"What has gotten into you? First you ignore your Alpha, now you're pissed at me?"
"My father—"
"It's only been going on our whole lives, loser. When the vamps are around they aren't our fathers."
"So how come my mom manages not to be a complete domineering asshole about everything? Not that—she stuck up for him last night. Like always. Lied for him. Just like when we kids."
"Your Freudian crap makes me sick, you know." But Will sounded almost serious. He handed me the plate of eggs then sat down at the table, almost grave. "I'm not a jerk because of my father; I hate my father because I'm a jerk. Mom was right, Levi. She was right—my dad's sick. Anger issues and werewolf powers means he can't help most of the crap he does. Hell, him leaving us all the time was him doing the best he could."
"You're...defending him?"
"I'm just as pissed as you are that they never bothered to explain it to us properly. We had no choice but to think they were lying to us. Not unless we wanted to be as naive as the Three Stooges..."
Dinah and the twins had been a lot happier just taking it on faith that our parents loved us and were taking care of things even if nothing added up, but I didn't say that. I didn't need to; Will knew it was the truth just as well as I did.
He continued: "But since we know the truth now, you're an idiot if you stay mad at your parents for something they didn't do."
"I'd be an idiot, huh?"
"Well, you're already an idiot, but you'd be a bigger one. Go home. Your dad was keeping La Push safe last night; you picked a dumb moment to challenge him."
"I wasn't—I didn't do it on purpose."
"Of course you didn't. That's why you're the idiot," Will said cheerfully. "Now get out of here. I have to meet a guy at ten."
There was no one at home when I got there, but I knew someone would show up eventually. It was Mom who got home first, luckily. Not that I let her into my room when she came and knocked. But she didn't listen when I told her to go away.
"You just going to stay in there and sulk?"
"Sounds like a plan."
"Levi..." She sighed, the sigh of a woman who was fed up with having to put up with me. Then she came in and sat down on the bed. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Okay."
Okay? It wasn't okay that she was still hanging around my room. I said as much and all she did was shrug.
I felt myself start to shake. It was my room, after all. Then all I could see was her, purple and blue all over and that sucked.
It stopped the shaking pretty fast.
"I'm losing it," I managed to say. "I'm just so mad all the time."
"Control takes time. You're getting there. We've never seen anyone learn as fast as you do."
"Then why does Dad still think I'm pathetic?"
"He doesn't. He thinks you're wonderful. He was just scared the other night. We never know how to talk to you."
She looked kind of miserable. I hated seeing my mother upset. But even more than that I hated that she thought I had bought her lies for all those years.
"I saw you."
"What?"
"When I was thirteen. You guys left. We woke up and Aunt Rachel was there making breakfast. Jubes started crying, but me and Di could handle it. We were used it. But you...you didn't come back. It was like a week and you didn't come back."
Something must have sparked Mom's memory, because she nodded. She remembered the hunt.
"We kept losing the trail. They lead us out to Wisconsin."
"I went looking for you," I admitted. "All over. Aunt Rachel said you were on vacation, but I stayed up. I heard her on the phone with Uncle Paul. I knew she was lying. So I went all around town. Only you weren't there. But I remembered the house in the forest. So I went there."
A small frown appeared on Mom's face. I think she guessed.
"Seth wasn't there." Duh. He was with her, but I didn't know that. "I...I was curious. I went poking around. It's a pretty nice place."
"You were trespassing."
She expected nothing less.
"I found you. You...you didn't wake up."
"I was on a lot of morphine." After all these years, I got an explanation. "We thought maybe they'd double back when they drew us so far away, so we had to split up. Seth and I are a pretty good tracking team. He's got the ears, I've got the legs, so we were the first ones in. It would have been okay if it hadn't been a trap. Four on two are bad odds, especially since I...I'm not the best fighter."
"But you got out."
Duh. But I felt better once I stated the obvious.
"Seth can hold his own better than you would think and I might be faster but you're Dad can go pretty fast when he wants to. He—they brought me back, drugged me up, I was fine in a couple of days."
When I was a kid I thought of my parents as invincible. Weird, sure, but invincible. My dad was built like a rock and my mom was just as tough—one time when the Rabbit broke down, I swear I saw her pick it up with her hands. So seeing her black and blue and purple all over...
It had been more than a little terrifying. It had been a sucker punch I never really recovered from.
When they came home three days later, they told us they had been on vacation. They even had little souvenirs. They were lying to me. Badly, at that. My parents were lying to me and it did more than piss me off. What was the point of playing happy family if they were just lying the whole time?
"You didn't look fine when I saw you. You looked...you looked like someone pushed you down the stairs, or something."
She didn't get it. It was so unbelievable to her she just didn't get it.
"I thought Dad—"
"Jacob would never hurt me."
It hadn't looked that way. It looked like he had. And it look like she was okay with pretending...my mom was superwoman and it looked like she was okay with being turned into hamburger. What was I supposed to do with that?
"I didn't know what to think. Di didn't believe me and I didn't..." No way in hell I'd tell Judy. "Will believed me. We started watching."
All the bruises and cuts and scratches that appeared over both of them. How we were supposed to know they were just happily screwing in the forest?
"I'm sorry."
It shouldn't have meant anything.
But...
It helped.
A little.
"You've been avoiding me."
"Yeah."
If my father wanted me to say more than one syllable to him he was going to be waiting a long time. My stubbornness was from both sides of my family—I was unstoppable.
"I'm not used to having anyone disobey me."
"Comes with being a dictator."
Well, that was more than one syllable, but I gave myself a pass. Someone needed to tell him that.
"I was worried about Judy. I may have overreacted."
"Whatever."
He watched me for a long time and I gave him my best I-don't-care-so-leave look. I had years perfecting that look. But it didn't work. He ended up sitting on the porch beside me.
"I can't change what's happened, Levi. I can do a lot of things, but I can't do that. But I should have known you'd keep your sister safe. I won't make that mistake again."
"Someone has to look after her. You were never around to do it." But that wasn't true. I finally knew that for sure. He was keeping her safe in the way he was made to do. "Sorry."
"I deserved that."
"No."
The two of us just sat there, having no idea what to say to one another.
"You're doing better that I did," Dad said.
"I don't need you to lie to me. I'm...I'm a mess."
"I'm not lying. I didn't tell you to stay back because I didn't think you could handle it. I know you could; you're a natural. Better than anyone we've ever seen. You just...we're you're family, Levi. You need to trust us."
"Yeah."
"And I would never hurt your mother."
Responding with a smart ass comment (because I had seen way too much so I knew my mom liked it rough) was probably not the best way to show off my maturity, so I held back. I couldn't say anything serious because, yeah, it did make a lot more sense that vampires existed than my parents beat each other up.
I nodded instead and my dad left me on the front porch.
