Thanks for your continued support, it keeps me motivated.
"Ready?" I asked Alcide as I picked him up from his house in suburban Shreveport. We'd agree that I'd drive, as my Audi was more economical than his truck and I'd be claiming the mileage back anyway.
"Yeap," he said as he threw his bag in the trunk of the car. "You okay?" he asked, obviously picking up on my mood and pulling me into a hug.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that Gran wasn't in a good way when I left earlier."
It was the truth that I felt guilty about spending two nights away from her. She'd had a really bad night the night before, and even cried when I said I was leaving. It was heart breaking to watch my Gran cry, as she'd always been such a strong woman.
But I had to admit to myself that I had Eric on my mind as well. I wasn't able to do any more work after he left, and I ended up going for a long drive to be alone with my thoughts. I was more than aware that although we had spoken there was still a lot left unsaid, and I wondered whether or not it was a good idea to tell him that I did come back. The problem was that it wasn't going to change anything. Eric was happy with Isabel, and when I did come back, he was obviously enjoying himself with other women.
I therefore made the executive decision not to let him know.
The thing was that I was so confused about what I was feeling. When I had left Eric, and Louisiana, those seven years ago it had felt like the right decision to make. Eric and I had seemingly drifted apart, and neither one of us was prepared to fight for what we had. In some ways I'd been a little surprised that Eric had been so willing to give us up, as he never was a quitter, but he'd obviously felt we were over.
And it wasn't as if I hadn't been happy with Bill. I'd always been up front with him, and told him everything about my relationship and break-up with Eric. He was hugely patient and understanding with me, and it became one of the things I loved about him. When I was with Bill I had moved on, and I didn't think about Eric that often. Although, I'll admit that I was always on edge whenever we came back to Northern Louisiana that I would see Eric, something Bill always seemed to understand.
Speaking to Eric yesterday meant that I didn't get too much sleep. I wanted to focus on the fact that I was going to be having a weekend away with a great man, but since speaking to Eric, all I could think about was him, and that wasn't right. I resolved that maybe it would be best if we didn't spent much time together, as it didn't seem fair to Isabel or Alcide to make them at all uncomfortable if Eric and I can't get along.
"We don't have to go," Alcide said gently, placing a hand on my lower arm.
I sighed. "She has good nursing care, and her mood is all over the place anyway. And anyway, I want to go." I smiled up at him and he placed a kiss on my forehead before we both climbed into the car for the three hundred and forty mile journey.
We talked for most of the journey, debating favourite books, films and musical tastes. I had to admit that I'd probably have assumed Alcide wasn't as cultured as he was, but we were able to easily debate the merits of Jerry Bruckheimer films, discuss our favourite Stephen King novel, argue over whether the Pirates of the Caribbean films were any good (which they weren't despite Johnny Depp looking hot), and outright row over whether the Stones or the Beatles were better (obviously the Stones).
The hotel I'd booked us into in New Orleans was in the French Quarter of the city with spectacular views of the city from the roof terrace. I'd stayed their once before with Bill, and I hoped that Alcide wouldn't mind that we went there again. After parking the car, we booked into the one-bedroom suite I'd chosen for us. The room was decadent and furnished in nineteenth-century décor, with a large, king-sized bed filling the bedroom of the suite.
Alcide – who had insisted on carrying both bags – placed them down on the sofa and went to check out the suite, pleased that there was both a large shower and bath.
"Hey," he said gently, walking up to me so that he was standing right in front of me. "You doing alright?" He pushed a stray lock of hair behind my ear.
"I'm good." I rested my head against his chest for a few moments.
"Look, Sookie, I want to get this out the way. I'm not expecting anything from you … sexually, that is. I know we haven't known each other that long, and I understand that there are some complications." I guessed that he meant Eric. "So just know that I'm not here for that sole purpose."
"Sole purpose?" I teased.
He shrugged. "Well, if anything happens I'm not going to push you off."
"Good to know," I told him with a smile.
I had to admit that the last few times I'd been alone with Alcide there had been some lust between us. But apart from kissing and some over-the-clothes groping, nothing had happened between us.
I supposed that, like Alcide, I was just happy to see where this went, and if we ended up doing anything sexual then so be it. I was going to be sleeping in the same bed as him, after all, and I wasn't entirely sure that I was going to be able to keep my hands off him.
"So, what's the plan?" he asked, flopping down on the bed where I joined him and rolled over onto my side.
"I booked us a meal in an excellent grill bar tonight, but I thought before that we could explore the city a little. You've been here before?"
"Not for a long time and before Katrina. I'm sure things have changed."
"Well … how about we get ready and head out. I for one could really do with a shower. Our meal's booked for nine."
"Sounds good. I'll let you shower first – I know what you women are like in getting ready."
I scowled at him, but he was quite accurate. "I'll be ready in under two hours, I promise."
He rolled his eyes. "I guess I'd better make myself comfortable then!"
He left the bedroom to go into the living room of the suite while I got ready. He showered as soon as I was out, and I spent some time running my straighteners through my hair and applying a little light makeup. I wore a cute red and white sundress, which was dressy enough for the restaurant and paired it with some white ballet flats since we'd be walking around. Alcide looked particularly hot in a pair of dark jeans, black boots and a dark green shirt that accentuated the colour of his eyes.
"You're ready? In only an hour? I'm shocked."
"I can assure you that I am not that high maintenance."
"We'll see," he said with a smile, taking my hand as he led me out of the hotel.
We had a good evening, spending some time walking around the French Quarter, and the meal was delicious. I really was enjoying Alcide's company, so that with a little alcohol loosening us both up we were flirting more, and letting hands wander.
"Fancy heading back to the hotel?" I asked Alcide after we'd come out of the bar next to the restaurant.
He gave me a sultry look. "Sounds like a plan."
Luckily, it wasn't too far to walk, and after twenty minutes, we were back inside the hotel. When we were back in the room, I placed my purse down on the sofa and kicked my shoes off, Alcide doing the same with his boots.
When he looked up I gave him a small smile and he took it as the invitation it was. He slowly walked up to me and placed his hands on my waist, while mine went to his strongly muscled chest. He kissed me briefly on the lips before whispering, "Are you sure?"
I knew I was. "Yes, let's see where this goes."
His lips met mine once more, and with an increased vigour as his large hands went to my back to hold me close to him. His kiss was warm and sensuous, and I could feel evidence of his arousal as our tongues met and my hands sank into his curly dark hair. He picked me up easily, both of his hands resting underneath my ass, and as we continued to kiss, he carried me carefully into the bedroom.
I couldn't deny that I wanted this to happen, and from the moisture pooling between my legs, it was evident that my body was preparing itself. But there was just that little something telling me that it wasn't right. A little something I chose to ignore.
He placed me on the edge of the bed, our lips never leaving each other's as my hands found their way between us and I started to undo the buttons of this shirt. His own hands were in my hair when I finally undid the last button, and Alcide pulled his arms back briefly to throw the shirt somewhere behind him.
I took the opportunity to lean back as my eyes ran over his perfect form. He had muscles in all the right places and his torso was positively lickable. So I did, earning a deep growl from Alcide.
"You're overdressed," he whispered hungrily.
He gave me a hand, which I took, and I stood up and allowed him to unzip the back of my dress, his eyes on mine the whole time until my dress was a puddle on the floor. His warm hands ran over my flesh as we continued to kiss, and my fingers found their way to the buckle of his belt and I started to undo his jeans. I palmed his cock through his black boxers, and he groaned, digging his fingers into my ass,
Before not too long our remaining clothing was scattered around the bedroom, and Alcide was worshipping my body, his head between my legs as he brought me quickly to an orgasm through an expert collaboration of his tongue and fingers.
"You're sure?" he asked me on more time as I was coming down from my high. At that time, I think I would have given him anything.
"Yes. I want this." I was pretty certain I saw a slight hesitation in his eyes, and I hoped that he hadn't picked up on any of my own uncertainty. I couldn't deny that I was enjoying myself, and he'd just brought me to one hell of an orgasm, but I still had that nagging sensation in the back of mind.
But Alcide's return with a condom in his hands soon brought rest to that, and I watched him roll the rubber onto his long and thick manhood. I smiled lustily as he climbed up my body, taking each nipple into his mouth in turn and doing wicked things, before he wrapped an arm underneath me and positioned himself at my entrance.
We both groaned in pleasure as he sank fully inside me, and he held me close to him as he gently started to move. We soon both picked up the pace, and my heels were digging into his ass as he started to pound into me. The man certainly had good stamina, and I was brought to another delicious orgasm before I felt Alcide expand and then spill his seed into the prophylactic.
He rolled off me and disposed of the condom in the bathroom, coming back with a warm, damp washcloth for me. I thanked him, and wiped myself off before climbing – still naked – under the sheets. Alcide sighed and got in so that he was facing me.
Neither one of us said anything for a few minutes until Alcide moved so that he was leaning on his elbow and looking down at me. "That wasn't quite right was it?"
I shut my eyes, relieved that he felt the same way. "No," I admitted despondently. "Not that I didn't enjoy myself, but … I don't know." I sighed and buried my face into the bed. Alcide placed a hand in my hair and waited until I met his eyes again until he continued.
"I do like you, Sookie, and you're an incredibly beautiful woman, but if I'm honest something doesn't quite feel right." He took my hand in his spare one. "But I want it to be noted that I definitely enjoyed that."
I smiled. "You have no idea how much I wanted this to work," I said more to myself than to him. "I really like you, Alcide, and we get along. But no matter how great that was, I agree that it wasn't quite right."
"Eric?" he asked. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty that he'd had to bring up another man's name just after we'd has sex.
"I think it's more than that. I just don't think we're meant to be in that way."
"I do agree with you. I guess I also wish it could have happened between us. And maybe we did need to do that just to realise that we're not suited to each other. But what do you say … friends?" He held out a hand to me.
"Friends," I agreed.
"I'm thinking I should probably put some clothes on," he said with a smile. "I'm happy to sleep on the sofa."
"Don't be ridiculous. You're far too big to sleep on that." He raised an eyebrow. "I didn't mean like that, but yes … you're well-endowed there as well." He shot me a wink. "But I'm happy for you to sleep with me in here … if you want to."
"I'd like that, Sook."
I ogled his ass as he walked away and pulled his boxer shorts on, while I wrapped the sheet around me and went to my case to grab my pyjamas.
Once dressed, I climbed back into bed and Alcide pulled me close to him, my head resting on his firm chest. "So, want to tell me what's going on between you and Eric?"
"Not really."
"Sook, I want to be a friend to you."
"I know, but you're his friend as well. I don't want to come between you."
"You won't."
"It's complicated."
"You can trust me."
I sighed deeply. "Really there's not much to tell. We talked yesterday but nothing really was said; we certainly didn't resolve anything. I know he wasn't telling me everything, and I wasn't being completely forthcoming with the truth either. But I've decided that it's probably best if I keep my distance from him. He's happy with Izzy, and I'm not going to risk anything that will upset him or her. Other than that there's nothing to tell."
Alcide seemed to get my hint that I didn't want to talk about it anymore and let the subject drop – luckily for the rest of the weekend. After we'd realised that we'd be better off as friends things got even better between us, and I knew he'd become a firm friend. I knew that Alcide had his doubts over seeing Swan Lake, but he genuinely enjoyed it – even as a ballet virgin – and we talked extensively about the performance on the way home the next day.
After we'd returned to Bon Temps, I continued to see Alcide fairly regularly, and I had to admit that it helped having him as a friend. Things still weren't good with Gran, and Eric seemed to be avoiding me as much as I was avoiding him. The only notable event in the weeks that followed was Pam giving her birth to her daughter Charlotte a few weeks before she was due. She was a little small and ended up being kept in the maternity unit for a week, but mom and daughter were both doing well.
I had to admit, however, that I was a little surprised when a week after Pam and her daughter were allowed home she called me up and asked me to come and see her. As Pam was four and a half years younger than me, we'd never been that close growing up, so only really became friends towards the end of Eric's and my relationship.
I'd gone into Shreveport to a cute independent baby store to pick up a couple of cute outfits for the little one, along with a rocket ship toy for Ethan so that he wouldn't feel left out that his baby sister was getting all the attention.
When I turned up at Pam's house, she met me at the door looking amazingly well considering she'd only given birth a few weeks earlier and was no doubt suffering from sleepless nights.
"Sookie, thanks for coming."
"No problem, it's good to see you – you look great!"
"I've been working out." I had no idea where she found the time, but it didn't surprise me.
She let me into the home she shared with Stan, which was sleek and modern with clean lines; minimalist even. I had to admit that I didn't see Pam with that kind of style, but it was certainly very stylish. However, I was greeted by three and a half-year-old Ethan running up to me and then clinging onto Pam's leg as he watched me.
He really was a clone of Eric at that age, and it made me wonder whether he had any Davis genes at all, as the boy was certainly a Northman.
"It's okay, sweetie," she cooed at him. "This is Sookie. She's a friend of mommy's."
"Hi Ethan," I said, dropping to one knee. "I have a present for you."
He simply watched me as I pulled the rocket ship out of the bag and handed it to him.
"What do you say, Ethan?"
"Thank you."
"That's okay," I stood back up as the little boy ran back off in the direction of his dad to show him what he'd been given.
"You didn't have to," Pam told me.
"I wanted to. And I bought a few things for Charlotte, so it seemed only fair."
She smiled, leading me into a gorgeous yet somewhat clinical kitchen where she made us both drinks. She then led me to her more comfortable living room, and I passed her the gifts I bought for her new daughter who was asleep in her crib in the corner of the room. She was very much the Northman, with a light covering of blonde hair, and I could only imagine that she had big blue eyes as well.
"So how are you?" I asked when we were seated.
"Good, actually. The birth was easier this time, though all I will say if you ever have children, is take as many drugs as you can. I learnt my lesson with Ethan!"
"Trust me, I think I would anyway! I've never been good with pain."
We were interrupted by Stan coming into the room. "Sorry to bother you ladies. Pam, I'm going to take Ethan to the park – do you want me to pick up anything on the way back?"
"No, I can't think of anything," she answered before he came over and kissed her gently.
"You two are good together," I mused when we were alone.
"I never, ever thought I'd be married to someone like Stan, but he's good for me, and there's nothing not to like about him. I'm really happy, and I know he is as well."
"You deserve it," I told her.
"Thanks." She paused for a moment before continuing. "So, you and Alcide…" I suddenly got the feeling this was why she'd invited me here and no doubt ordered Stan to leave us alone.
"We're friends."
"Did you sleep together?" I wasn't sure how much I wanted to tell her, and I certainly didn't want everyone knowing mine and Alcide's business. "I'm not going to mention anything to anyone," she said gently after I hadn't responded.
"We did, but we both realised that that spark wasn't there. I genuinely think we're better as friends. And anyway, he has a date tonight."
Alcide had met Maria through Isabel as she was a photographer that Isabel had used before on one of her projects. Alcide had told me that they'd hit it off straight away and he was hugely attracted to her. Tonight was their first date on their own, and I knew he was really hoping things would work with her.
"Yeah, Eric mentioned."
I tried not to react to Eric's name being mentioned. "I'm happy for him. I really like Alcide, and it's been great to have him as a friend."
"We're your friends as well," she commented a little sharply.
"I know … it's just … you're Eric's sister."
"So this is about Eric then?"
I sighed loudly. "Me and Alcide not working out is about us, not Eric. There just wasn't that spark there, and I wasn't going to use him for sex. I respect him more than that."
"Fine, but you've been avoiding spending any time with Eric since you two talked at your house." Eric had obviously told his sister that we'd had a conversation.
"I know."
"So it's a conscious decision to avoid him?"
"Yes," I said with a shrug. "And I think it's for the best. I know that if I was in Isabel's position I wouldn't want my boyfriend's ex hanging around."
"Izzy isn't the jealous type."
"Still … I just think that it's better if I stay away from Eric. It's just easier that way."
"You still have feelings for him."
I didn't want to answer that as I was concerned about what she might say to him. It was bad enough that she knew I came back those six months after I had left.
I had tried not to think about Eric too much, and I'd definitely not been analysing myself to work out exactly what I felt for Eric. But the fact was that I thought about him far too often, and it hurt to see him with Isabel. I didn't like to give that a label.
"Sookie, I guess I've been thinking about this as well, and I agree that it's best for Eric not to know that you came back. And for that matter to not to know that you have feelings from him now – which I'm guess is the case considering you'd have shot me down if I was wrong." She was right there.
"Eric is my brother," she continued, "and he is my priority. I'm not going to do anything that's going to upset him or harm his relationship with Iz. So it's the case that I think you're doing the right thing in avoiding him; it's obvious the two of you don't do friends well. But that doesn't mean I can't be a friend to you as well, and I've proven that I can keep my mouth shut when something matters."
"Thanks Pam."
"But I do wish that I'd told him at the time. I think things would be very different if I had."
I didn't need to hear that. "I don't know … he seemed to be enjoying himself when I saw him that night." I was aware how bitter I sounded.
"But he wasn't happy. I tried to get him to go to see you in New York but he was too damned stubborn. I should have told him."
I sighed. "It's irrelevant, Pam. And I am happy for him. Isabel seems great, and they love each other. It's what I want for him."
"And you?"
"I'll survive. I'm a Stackhouse after all; we're strong women."
We spent the next two hours reminiscing about old times, talking about her children, and what she wanted for the future. I talked about my life and friends in New York, and I told her that she must visit me when I returned to the city so we could go shopping together. I imagined that Pam would tire even Amelia out when it came to shopping.
It was certainly nice to see her, and she promised me that she wouldn't mention anything of our conversation to Eric.
The next couple of weeks went without event, and I managed to get a fair bit of work done. I still hadn't seen Eric, although Alcide had told me that he was doing good. And I was actually starting to enjoy the quiet life that Bon Temps brought me.
That was until I woke one mid-September morning to find that Gran had died in her sleep.
Sorry … I had to kill of Gran, I'm afraid.
I'd love to know your thoughts – are Sookie and Pam doing the right thing in not telling Eric? Should Sookie and Alcide made more of a go of it? What's Sookie going to do now?
Next chapter at the weekend.
;)
