Title: Super Sized!
Author: voodoodoll333 / katalystik
Rating: T
Chapter: 4?
Pairings: Axel/Roxas main, Riku+Sora on the side.
Summary: In another dimension, Roxas is leading a normal, high school life. Axel, on the other hand, is a low-wage worker at a fast food chain who happens to be smitten with the blonde boy. Awkward times lead to desperate measures, and they soon find themselves in the middle of something neither know what to do about. AU Crackfic.
AN: It's three a.m. I am so tired my eyes are... scratchy and itchy, yet I am still writing. Owwie. 3 Anyway! I don't know what to think about this chapter. Gratuitous Riku/Sora. Plus a motocycle and Roxas! Whoo! PURE GOLD, I TELL YOU, IS WHAT I HAVE HERE.
That said, I hope you like. In the meantime, I need to sleep!
Thank you all for you lovely reviews! They're the only reason I stayed up to this ungodly hour to post!
"Roxas! Roxas, come on, wait up!"
It had taken ten blocks of a mix between walking, jogging, and power-walking for Sora to gain any kind of distance on Roxas, who was still a good hundred yards from him. How the hell the boy was able to get out of that restauraunt so fast was beyond Sora- he wasn't in there for even a minute after Roxas left, and it was a good thing he lived on the same street as the other boy or he would have had no clue where he had gone.
Sora made a last, desperate attempt to sprint at Roxas, hoping at least to get his attention before his lungs exploded and the street crews had to wipe his dead body from the sidewalk. 'This is why I do not play sports,' Sora thought bitterly, his eyes watering. Roxas, still ignoring him adamantly, was only ten feet in front of him... five... one-
"Son of a bitch!" Roxas had never given the phrase "kiss the ground you walk on" any thought before, but now that he was quite literally having quite the intimate lips-to-ground session he knew it wasn't a pleasant thing. He flung his arms out, trying to dislodge the weight pinning him to the small strip of grass between sidewalk and street. The weight groaned and sniffled, the noise very close to his ear. Roxas was suddenly aware of a growing, wet warmth on his shoulder- hot almost, with a coppery scent to it. He struggled a bit more and was free of his burden.
"You freaking TACKLED me." Roxas said in disbelief, pushing a very dazed and breathless Sora away from him. He sat up, slowly, feeling like a train had hit him. Which was true, more or less. Sora was a truly devious being, hiding the force of two tons withing his small frame. He glared at Sora, who was laying prone on the ground next to him. "What, was making fun of me not good enough?"
Roxas surprised himself, sometimes, like that time he jumped off his roof totally on a random whim, believing with all of his heart he would land on his legs like a video-game character, unscathed. (He had broken ten bones and sustained a two day coma. His eyes still crossed when he stood up too fast, sometimes.) But this was a different kind of surprise (and a lot less painful of one, certainly). He was usually not one to provoke any kind of unpleasant conversation- hell, he wasn't one to instigate any conversation, usually, but when someone both laughs at the prospect of dating you and then tackles you in the same hour it doesn't put you in the greatest of moods.
"I didn't make fun of you." Sora said, voice muffled in the grass, away from Roxas. "Just... dating you would be like dating my twin, and people would think we were gay twins, and that would be pretty funny. Haha, gay twins. Phht." Sora let out what seemed to be a rather wet, painful chuckle. He did not move from his position in the grass.
Roxas didn't know which to be more concerned about- Sora's mental health or Sora's physical health. Gay twins, in his opinion, was no laughing matter. He reached out a hand and tentatively placed it on Sora's still shoulder. "Are you okay?" A tinge of anger still remained in his voice, cold.
Sora twitched his shoulder out of Roxas' grip with a whine. "Hurts. Don't touch me." He made a sad attempt to sit up, which consisted of a lot of kicking and a jerky try at rolling over. All Sora suceeded in doing, however, was to roll onto his back, breathing heavily and groaning in pain.
Roxas stared.
Sora moaned pathetically.
"I think you've broken your nose," Roxas announced distantly, staring at Sora with the same distate one who recieved socks for Christmas would wear. Roxas had never seen a broken nose before, but he was pretty sure this is what it would look like. He could hardly discern Sora's face from all the blood dripping from it- globs of it, speckled here and there with blades of grass and grit, caked to his cheeks.
In a detached train of thought, Roxas recalled the wetness on his shirt, coppery and warm. He craned his head to gaze at his shoulder, and sure enough, a large, crimson stain was happily making sure he would never, ever wear the shirt again.
Sora made another attempt to sit up, but was pushed back down again by a firm pair of hands on his shoulders.
Roxas had seen a video in health class, once, that instructed, in case of injury, to make sure the person lay down and keep the effected area elevated. Of course, in the video, the person had pillows to prop their sprained ankle on. Sora had a nosebleed and Roxas' lap.
"Hello," Sora said faintly, staring up at Roxas. "I'm bleeding on you, you know."
Roxas winced, fishing around for his cell phone. Would an ambulance be too extreme in this case? He hoped not. He looked down at Sora, jostling the boy a bit as he raised himself up to check his back pocket. "Don't remind me," He said softly, realizing that the warmth on his lap was less of Sora's head and more of Sora's blood. "Can't you... uh... plug that up, or something?"
Sora shrugged, bleeding freely. "I can walk, you know. I'm sure I can go home and put ice on it." He spit out some blood, grimacing.
Roxas was offended. "But the video said to elevate the injured area."
Sora shrugged. "Okay. Wow, this hurts." He sniffled, and Roxas could barely make out a few tears coursing their way through the blood. Roxas felt a surge of sympathy. It was his fault his shoulder was so bony, after all.
"Don't worry, help will be here soon." He said, finally feeling his cell phone in his pocket. He wiggled to get it out-
Huh. The last time he checked, his cell phone was one piece, not ten. He stared at the ruined piece of gadgetry in complacent shock. That sucked.
"I feel a bit faint," Sora announced, licking blood from his lips.
Roxas felt a bit panicky, but smug. He knew Sora couldn't have walked. Ha. He would have passed out within three blocks. Then the panic came. What was he supposed to do with a passed out Sora on the side of the street? He could always leave him to fend for himself, but that seemed so heartless. He was not a heartless boy.
"It's okay," Roxas said helplessly. "Take deep breaths or something."
Sora frowned. "My nose won't work for that. It's kinda broken."
Roxas opened his mouth to reply, when-
VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRM.
Sora jerked up, a stream of blood spilling onto the grass. He had a 'deer in headlights' look as he looked back at Roxas, shaking visibly from blood loss. "Oh, no." He whispered.
Usually when people said 'oh no' with the same amount of panic Sora had said it in, it usually meant a volcano was about to blow or someone had laced the wine with arsenic or Aunt Melificent had gotten the baseball bat again. Roxas was confused. None of those things were happening, actually. The only thing that happening, though, was a motorcycle approaching them. Motorcycle's weren't that scary.
Roxas stared as the motorcycle drove past them, expecting something scary and dramatic to happen like Sora's face was predicting. Nothing did. Sora relaxed against him-
Until the motorcycle stopped and pulled the sickest U-turn Roxas had ever seen in the time span of two seconds. Sora, in a last-ditch effort, lunged at Roxas and buried his bleeding face in Roxas' shirt. The motorcycle approached them, slowing down-
"Sora!" There was something very famaliar about the person on the motorcycle, Roxas thought in a daze, trying to push Sora off of himself. Something very, very familiar, in the way his grey hair blew in the wind, his pale skin shone in the sun-
Roxas raised his hand in greeting, at a loss of what to do. "Hi, Riku."
Riku (for it was Riku, right down to the flowing silver hair and pale skin) jumped off of his motorcycle and tried to kick the kickstand down, but was in such a hurry he only succeeded in stubbing his toe on the wheel. He cursed softly to himself and rushed over to where Roxas had aquired a new, Sora-shaped body extension, looking the worst Roxas had ever seen him.
Roxas had seen a lot of bad-Riku days. Like the time Riku had challenged Sora in a 'I bet I can stay up longer than you' contest, where he had been witness to the frightnening sight of Riku after four days of no sleep. Or the time when Riku had found out the goats at the petting zoo were partial to silver hair (the petting zoo employees had had to tranquilize the goats to get them off of Riku- but by then it was too late, and Riku's hair was unsalvagable. He had been bald for at least a week, to Roxas' endless self enjoyment.) Or the time Riku had eaten the school lunch and had broken out in hives.
But not even a bald Riku could have pulled off looking this bad. His normally teal eyes were bloodshot, his skin a shade sicklier than his normal tone. Even his clothes didn't fit as tightly as normal.
And, if it wasn't Roxas' imagination, he smelled very unpleasant.
Riku walked over to them, something clutched in his arm, shielded from view. "Sora," He croaked (even his voice sounded bad). "I've looked everywhere for you."
Sora mumbled something and dug deeper into the space known as Roxas's chest.
"He's got a bit of a problem," Roxas explained, pushing even harder at Sora. Riku stared at him, frowning.
"What is it?"
Roxas gave up trying to get Sora off of him. "He broke his nose and is bleeding all over me."
Riku started, causing whatever was in his arms to let out a squeak. "He broke his nose?"
"And is bleeding all over me."
Riku ignored that part, instantly dropping to his knees beside them. He pulled Sora off of Roxas in one swift movement, showing off a lot more strength than Roxas possessed. He blanched at Roxas' shirt, which was now officially more blood than actual shirt. "Holy shit!"
"Get off of me," Sora said, weakly.
Riku looked up at Roxas, stern. "Hold this, will you?" He placed something warm in Roxas' hands, not waiting for an answer.
Roxas looked down at his hands. A little black puppy stared up at him cutely. Roxas blinked. The puppy bit his palm.
Meanwhile, Riku was had his hands full trying to get Sora to look at him, which was quite a task seeing Sora obviously didn't want to.
"Sora-"
"Not listening."
"Sora-"
"Get off of me."
"Sora-!"
"I don't care-"
"SORA. SHUT UP. I AM SORRY AND I GOT YOU A PUPPY."
Everthing went still. Riku's yell echoed through the otherwise quite suburb, making Roxas, the puppy, and Sora stare at him in disbelief.
"What?" Sora sounded shocked, and it was most likely a good thing he was sitting down because the force of Riku's voice would have sent him flying. His incredulous expression was barely visible through the layer of blood caked over his features, but Roxas was pretty sure he shared the same shocked look as himself.
Riku looked a bit embarassed, his eyes dropping from Sora's to instead focus on an extremely interesting blade of grass. "I... I said. I'm sorry. I know how much Mickey meant to you." His voice was soft, and Roxas had the feeling that he was invading a very private conversation. The puppy started a fight with his thumb as he watched Sora and Riku is rapt, nosy fascination.
Sora frowned. "He was the best hamster in the world, Riku, and you acted like it was my fault I was mad at you." He made a soft, unhappy noise in his throat, and Roxas hoped to god he wasn't going to cry.
Riku took Sora's hand in his own, patting it awkardly and turning it over. "I'm sorry- I knew he meant a lot to you. I had no clue my cat could chew through plastic, Sora, I swear."
With a slight smile (barely discernible thorugh the blood, once again,) Sora met Riku's eyes. "I should have known never to trust anything with you, anyway. Three days of vacation and I come back to death and destruction."
Riku smiled, a bit hesistantingly, but brighter once he realized Sora was, in his own way, forgiving him for the gruesome death of his beloved hamster, Mickey. "I felt so guilty," He said, his voice just like the tone the heroes of movies use just before they ravish their heroines. "I thought you would hate me."
Sora laughed, something which should never be attempted with a broken nose, because it sounded a lot more like a car breaking down than a seventeen year old boy laughing. "I could never hate you." He replied, wiping some blood off of his hand onto his pants. "I was just mad. You look like crap, man."
"I couldn't sleep," Riku admitted, looking shy. Roxas wanted to find a tree and beat his head into it over and over until the sappy images of the two were gone. The puppy started to sleep on his leg.
"I have to go home," Roxas announced, feeling extremely awkward. He didn't much like being an unwilling third wheel.
Sora and Riku looked at him like someone looks at a third arm they had just grown, like they had never seen him before.
"I have your puppy." Roxas added, helpfully. They had seemed to forget the little guy, too. He yipped in his sleep and wagged his tail. Roxas pet his with the tip of his finger, afraid to wake him lest awaken the puppies apparent anger towards his thumb once more.
Sora broke out in a grin and grabbed the puppy, cutting his nap short. "A puppy!" he exclimed, all traces of dizzyness and faintness gone. "You got me a puppy!"
Riku stood up, wiping the dirt off his pants. His appearance had seemed to have improved a thousand times over, and he was smiling, goofily. "Yeah, I did." He said dumbly, looking as happy as Sora.
Sora frowned momentarily. "I can't say I can really smell anything seeing that my nose is crushed in, but you smell a lot like pee, Riku."
Riku shrugged. "The puppy peed on me on the way here." He motioned towards the wet spot on his shirt, right next to a random splotch of Sora-blood that looked remarkably like a smiley face. "Come on, we should get you to a hospital."
Sora flailed stupidly, another attempt to get up. "I can't get up," He said helplessly, looking up at Riku with a pout. Roxas reached out to help him, but Riku got there first, bending over to scoop Sora up within his arms, bridal style. The puppy yelped at Roxas, growling from his perch on Sora's chest. Roxas felt vaguely threatened.
"That better?" Riku asked, giving Sora a bounce. Roxas felt his eye twitch. Ugh. He could feel the cavities growing, almost.
Sora laughed, the weird car-breaking-down noise again, causing the puppy to stare at him in alarm. "Wait, Riku, I think I forgot-" His blues eyes flashed at Roxas, recognition dawning on him. "Roxas! Oh yeah! I've got soemthing for you!"
Roxas stepped forward, numbly. He really didn't want to step withing two feet of Riku and Sora, afraid their strange, sappy ambiguity would infect him and make him act like a total idiot too. He did, anyway, taking his chances. Sora dug within his pocket. tongue poking out from his lips with the effort. Riku stared at it.
"Ah! Found it!" Sora produced a small strip of paper victoriously. The puppy bit at it, but Sora pulled it out of his reach. "This is for you."
Roxas took it, not even looking at it. "Thanks. You should get going, you know." Sora's nose had started to bleed again.
Riku nodded and began to walk towards his motorcylce, careful with his load.
Sora waved at him as he was being set onto the seat of the bike, smiling widely. "Let's have lunch tomorrow!" He yelled, squeaking when Riku revved up the engine and clutching the puppy to him. The puppy barked at Roxas in farewell.
They were gone within two seconds, but Roxas stared at the road dumbly, feeling as if he had just survived a nuclear blast. Only then, feeling totally numb to the world, did he look at the paper Sora had gven him. Lightly fringed in blood.
Roxas smiled, an unconscious gesture, because if he had know he was smiling he would have replaced the ecpression with horror and disgust.
"Call me, Roxas." The paper (a receipt, he noticed) read in scratchy handwriting. "Any time you want, preferably now. 876-9999."
"Love, Axel."
...OH THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME. That Axel. He should know better than to give out his number like that. Roxas could be a stalker! THEN WHAT AXEL? EH?
Gee, I am really tired. I will stop this rambling and sleep. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
NEXT TIME: Roxas and Axel talk dirty on the telephone line. Well, Axel does, anyway.
