You Beside Me
The house was large. Not nearly as large as the Dark Castle, of course, but there were three stories to explore and plenty of time to do so. He had given her her own room and as much space as she desired, but he never failed to look more than a little pleased when she sought him out.
Well, I'm not unhappy.
That was why it was strange when she couldn't find him that night. She'd been there a little over a week now, and it was like he sensed her looking for him when she did. He'd appear around a corner, almost shy at first, but never bothering to hide his affection for her. This night, though, she couldn't seem to find him. The house was locked up tight for the late hour and she saw his keys hanging on the peg by the door. He was home, and the only room she hadn't checked yet was the one hidden behind a closed door on the first floor at the western-most corner of the house. It was the only room she hadn't seen yet, as the door was always closed. The fact that it was most likely his room made her both curious and cautious. She had never seen his room in the Dark Castle and wasn't even sure if he'd kept one.
That was how Belle found herself lingering outside the door that night, hand hovering over the doorknob and entirely unsure. She pursed her lips together, thoughtful, and tapped her knuckles against the wood of the door very quietly. A muffled sound came from within. She waited, hand moving as if to open the door several times before she finally took a deep breath and turned the knob, chiding herself the whole way.
She peeked in, the room dark with the curtains pulled tight so that only a sliver of light from the lamps outside made it in. Belle had to blink for a moment, letting her eyes adjust to the room. She looked around, finding shadows rather than objects and finally turned to the bed itself to find him tangled in the sheets as if he'd been thrashing about in his sleep. His eyes were closed, the soft sound of the door brushing against the floor not having woken him and as she stepped closer she could see that his brows were drawn together and his the skin over his knuckles was taught as he gripped his hand into a fist. She knew that she should either wake him or let him be, but she couldn't bear to move in either direction. Her heart broke as he let out a strangled noise, flying out of the bed with such speed that she gave a startled gasp.
He froze there, hand reaching out for something or someone that had dissipated with the dream. Belle couldn't quite make out the name that had left his lips as he jolted awake, but she whispered his as she took a cautious step forward, trying not to startle him any further. "Rumple?"
Dark, haunted eyes turned towards her and his entire frame shook with each breath he took. "What are you doing in here?" he asked at last, voice unsteady even as he looked to be trying to remain calm.
"I… I'm sorry. I couldn't find you and so I went looking and…"
Rumplestiltskin let loose a long breath, closing his eyes briefly as he fought and gained control. When he opened them again he reached a hand out to her and she could see it was the only thing still trembling slightly. "I didn't mean to frighten you."
Belle took it, feeling his warm hand wrap around hers and he pulled her a little closer to the bedside. He looked so vulnerable in that moment with sleep's hold not entirely loosened and a nightmare freshly seared into his mind. Belle found herself kneeling against the mattress and she wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He relaxed after a moment, his head dropping to her shoulder and he leaned into the embrace.
"Talk to me, Rumple," she pleaded quietly. She could see the internal war raging. He wanted - needed - to get whatever this was out, but they were hitting the same wall of fear that they always hit. He was afraid of opening up to her. "Please talk to me."
He sighed in her embrace. "You asked me once if I dreamed. Do you remember that?"
"I do." She loosened her hold on him, perching on the bed next to him. When he looked ready to back down from the words, she reached up and touched his face in encouragement.
Perhaps it was simply too late and he was too tired to scurry entirely back behind his walls. "The reason I didn't sleep was because I would dream. I knew I would, and since the curse broke... Well, let's just say that my failures haunt my dreams." He paused, gathering himself. "I don't have my old options, either. I may still be the Dark One, but it works differently here, as you've seen."
She leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss in his lips. "How can I help you?"
A short chuckle left his throat, low and empty. "My dear," he murmured, his dark eyes catching her bright blue ones. They seemed to shine against the deep shadows of his room. That was his Belle: his light in the darkness. "I'm afraid there's no turning back the clock for me. There are things that can't be undone."
She smiled at this. "That doesn't mean that you can't choose the right path from here. I have faith in you, Rumplestiltskin. You can be the good man that you keep so deeply hidden if you just choose to."
He stared at her until a slow, careful smile stretched his thin lips. "I fear that I can't share your faith, sweetheart."
"Then I'll just stand by your side and remind you."
"I don't deserve you," he whispered, his words filling the room with rare and full honesty of how he felt.
"It's not about deserving. I love you and you love me. We help each other."
Rumplestiltskin leaned forward, his lips pressing against her forehead. "Thank you, m'dear. You should get some sleep, shouldn't you? It's late."
Belle ducked her head, her cheeks flushing suddenly even in the shadows. "Would it help if I stay?"
Silence followed her words and she felt the blush spread. "I just thought... If you had another nightmare I could be here. For you. To remind you that it will be alright. To remind you that you don't have to hide in the darkness anymore."
When she risked a look up she found him staring, wearing the same expression she'd seen both in this world and theirs when she had fully startled him. She shifted, one bare foot finding the floor behind her as she began to stand. She couldn't expect all the walls to fall at once, she supposed. "If you don't want me to stay, of course, I shouldn't want to intrude."
He reached out then, his hand grabbing for hers. "No intrusion," he murmured.
A smile broke out on her face and she hopped back onto the bed and under the covers. She fit perfectly, she thought as she nestled down, her face against the soft material of his pajama top. She heard him sigh when she was settled and he wrapped his arm around her. He could be strong with her beside him. He could be brave.
