Arthurs notes: Well here it is the next one, it has a tad more incite on Yukiko and how she ended so well twisted I guess you could say lol. Now I tried my best will all the flash backs and all that is not really my cup of tea. I hope you enjoy, please review and leave me some feed back try not to be too mean it is my first. Oh I never mentioned: I DON'T OWN NARUTO SADLY NOR GAARA

Ch 4: The past

All Yukiko could hear was the beating of her heart, she didn't even hear Gaara shouting after her. She couldn't hear the pleading in his voice.

I'm sorry Gaara-sama but I have to get away from you I have to try to be free.

For a split second Gaara thought about getting up and running after her or even using a jutsu to stop her with his sand. Then he realize then that he could of used the device as he looked for the switch he thought as to why Yukiko kicked him now it made more sense: she was getting the switch from him. If used a jutsu he may hurt her and that was the last thing that he wanted to do.

No I want her back, b-but why I have not even known her that long. And she tried to kill me; it's just the way she makes me feel is different.

T: "Kakashi, Gai go.."

G: "No. Just leave her Tsunade...this is what she wants. It has to be what she wants."

T: "But Gaara she's running free in my village I just can't stand by and let her go...she may go to..."

Gaara turned his back on Tsunade "Just let her go we're a failed mission she gains nothing by hurting anyone. Plus she told us about Orochimaru's plan. I doubt she'll go back to her employer especially since she failed."

He started to walk away, and then he felt something. He felt his cheeks get warm and his vision blurred as his eyes started to water ever so slightly. It was warm as a few tears came down his check. Gaara remembered the last time he had cried. He was looking down at the spot where Yashamaru last laid alive.

Yashamaru...

G: "Tsunade, I just want a room. I don't care what type, I want to be alone please"

T: "...of course Gaara"

Tsunade walked Gaara to his room which was located near her office.

T: "Gaara if you need anything please let me know."

"..."

T: "I'm not sure I understand what's going on but...I'm sorry that she left..."

Gaara looked around the room not knowing what to do he felt so lost. He then walked up to window in the apartment and looked out hopping to see Yukiko in the crowd below.

Yukiko ran till around midnight. She was already out of Konoha but she wanted to make sure that no one, especially Gaara, was following her.

She stopped in the middle of a forest and walked in front of a river and looked down to see her own reflection. She felt the back of her neck trying to get the device off, it was hooked in so unless she wanted to pull off some of her flesh; she had to think of another way. She looked down at the switch and saw the different settings on it. She started to mess with the switch and was not sure what to do; she simply turned it to the left and pushed it.

Yukiko dropped it as she fell to the floor yelling in pain. She had turned it the wrong way and sent a shock through her body. She was starting to get frustrated with the switch so she turned it the other way and tried to see if it would come off. This time only she heard a click. She felt the back of her neck again and noticed that the device had had risen up slightly, she tried again to pull it off but still no luck.

Fuck! What am I going to do? Looks like I'm stuck with this hunk of junk on my neck! Thought Yukiko as she put the switch into her pocket. I don't understand why I keep thinking of Gaara; I'm free now…well for the most part anyway. I'm an assassin, I was never meant to love, or be loved. I was only made to kill that's all. Gaara is nothing more than a failed mission I must remember that.

Yukiko fell to her knees still looking down at her reflection.

I'm so stupid, why would I consider going back to him. I don't understand why I should care if I hurt him. Yet since I left I want nothing more then to return to him just to see his face once more.

Yukiko's eyes filled with tears and for the first time in a long time, she cried.

For whatever reason I really care about Gaara, but...then I remember him.

Yukiko's sadness suddenly turned to anger. Then the tears pouring down her face went from being regret to hatred. Because of her past it had now affected her. She wanted nothing more then to forget but every night was a constant battle to live through all the memories.

*Yukiko's past*

"Come on you stupid girl!"

"NO!"

The man grabbed Yukiko around the waist and pulled down Yukiko's pants. He then pinned her to the ground. Yukiko still tried to pull away from him, she tried to muster all the strength she could, but it was no use. He slapped her across the face and raped her. She screamed at him to stop. She even still tired to push him off with all the strength she had. With all her effects all she was able to do was punch him; which only made him more upset and yet he liked the fact she was fighting.

"You stupid bitch you like rough uh!" He slapped her across the face again and tried to kiss her a second time.

She turned her head to look away from the man, when she turned she saw her sisters watching from the safety of the next room .Her eyes filled with tears at the fact that they had to see what was taking place. He grabbed her face and kissed her. When he was done he quickly got off of Yukiko and walked to the door.

"If you tell anyone I'll kill you once my child is born. Do you understand?"

"I understand...father."

After he left Yukiko stumbled to get up as she walked to the other room where her sisters were hiding and closed the door and locked it. She climbed into the shower and cried so hard she simply cried her eyes out. There she thought about killing herself and the baby that would be conceived, but she knew that her sisters would not be safe from their father. The weeks following that night, the only thing she thought about were what options she had. Should she run away, have the baby killed right after it's born, or take her own life. Once she was ten weeks pregnant, and when her father wasn't home she decided she would go for a walk in the woods to kill the baby. Once there she felt around her stomach. Once she found an area she felt would be a good mark she stabbed herself repeatedly.

Y: "I will not let this baby be born, even if I have to die as well."

After several stabs she stopped. She threw the kunai away in case anyone found her; she would say that she was attacked while on a peaceful walk through the woods. She was there alone for hours, and just when she was just about to pass out she heard someone coming. She felt herself being lifted up from the ground and they carried her back to the village.

When Yukiko awoke she was in a hospital room. Her two little sisters were in the room along with her father.

"We were afraid that we lost you." A doctor said coming into Yukiko's vision. "Sadly we could not save your baby...I'm sorry."

I lived? Yukiko was surprised of her luck.

The doctor checked her bandages and she saw that blood was soaking them; he then checked her vitals and the blood that was being transfused into Yukiko. He then left the room and asked her father to follow him; so they could speak privately. Before her father left with the doctor he walked up to Yukiko's bed and kissed her forehead, faking a father daughter bond. Before he pulled away from her he whispered. "Don't worry we can try again once you get home."

Yukiko's eyes widened in fear.

He was going to rape her again. He was going to put her through the same thing all over again.

Yukiko was thankful for the few nights of safety she had in the hospital. After two weeks she was released from the Hospital and the fear came back. That night she waited for her father to come into her room. When he did he found her sitting on the floor with her back to him.

"Come here Yukiko."

She didn't move.

"I said come here you stupid bitch!"

He walked up to her and noticed something was wrong. It was a fake.

When he turned around Yukiko was already behind him. She quickly pushed a kunai through his ribs and another in his throat.

His knees hit the floor holding his throat. She leaned in to his face and looked him dead square in the eyes. "I hope you and that bitch of mother burn in hell."

She then punched the kunai deeper into his throat making him fall to the floor; she kicked him in the face. It felt like hours had passed as she continued to kick her father's face; she didn't want to stop. When she finally did you couldn't recognize him. Her father was the first person she ever killed and that was the only reason why she left her village.

After that Yukiko moved from town to town doing small jobs such as housekeeping for food, or a place to sleep. After doing this for a month she heard that her village had been invaded by a neighboring village. Everyone had been killed, her younger sisters included. She was the last rouge shinobi. It was not till almost a year had past since she had left home that Yukiko became an assassin.

When walking through a village one day she saw in an alley a woman being raped by three men. One of the men was holding what seemed to be that woman's husband so he could watch. She remembered the pain that was felt when it happened and how she wished someone could have helped her so she went over to the women's aid.

Y: "Leave her alone!"

The men looked over at Yukiko and laughed.

"What was that little girl? Leave her alone?" One of the men said. "Fine but you can take her place."

He moved towards Yukiko. He started to play with her hair while smelling it.

Yukiko didn't move.

The man leaned in to kiss her...

She quickly grabbed his face stopping it and put a kunai to the side of his mouth and cut it all the way to his ear. The man backed away in pain. The other man holding the woman moved forward to help him.

"You stupid bitch!" He yelled and lunged at her.

Yukiko grabbed his neck and started to clench her fist. She squeezed his neck till she broke it. The feeling of his bones breaking in her hand was unlike anything Yukiko had ever felt. She quickly moved behind the last one before he let go of the husband. She was able to get one of his knives and quickly slit his throat.

Yukiko heard something behind her it was the first man he was trying to get away. Turns out she had only wounded him and he was still alive. He was on the floor moaning in pain. Yukiko walked up to him and placed her foot on top of his head, with the heel of her foot she started to press down on the side of his head. All the time Yukiko was smiling, her smile widened as she heard the bones begin to pop. Again she didn't stop still her heard the crushing of his skull. After a while she took her foot off and turned to the couple.

"I'm sorry what they did to you."

She gave them a faint smile and walked up to the bodies to gather any money she could find and their weapons also. Once she did she looked at the couple again and walked away.

"Hey wait!" The husband ran up to her and handed her some money.

"I know it's not much but I just can't say thank you and not reward you for saving my wife."

"But I can't..."

"No please take it. It the least I could do for you."

Yukiko looked down at the money.

"You're too kind sir."

With that Yukiko turned and kept on walking.

Later on that day she realized that's what she was going to do, become an assassin as her people had for many years. The joy she got for taking out her hate and rage on others made her strangely feel human for once her live.

Now here laid the once great assassin. She had taken ten years to become stronger and make sure that no one could hurt her ever again. Yet now she was alone, cold, hungry, and most of all heartbroken.

She had spent so many years putting up a barrier so that she would never have to know the meaning of love and be hurt; that way she could feel no emotion. She had killed so many people and she didn't care. She had lost all of her emotions over the years all she felt was satisfaction when she finished a mission.

And in a matter of days one Suna shinobi made her feel all of them.

Yukiko curled up into a ball and started to cry. She cried about her past, what her mother did, what her father did, all the people she killed, and for Gaara.

"GAARA-SAMA!"

She screamed out his name, falsely hoping he could hear her cry.

Arthurs notes: awwww she miss him already. Lol well hell I would miss him too lol shhh don't tell my boyfriend that hahaha anyways; what's going to happen now? Will Gaara just leave her there and let her memory fade. Find out next ch.