AN: Hello and Happy Midsummer! I hope you all are having a good time. Here it's raining and only 10 degrees Celsius warm, often referred to as Swedish Summer. Anyway I have been really busy with graduation, preparing for moving out this Autumn and getting myself declared healthy once more. Now I am back with a new chapter and hope to update soon again.

I hope you like it, even if it's slightly "fillery"

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Chapter 3: Seed of Doubt

Harry had despite everything felt rather content with the results of the night, things not going to plan notwithstanding. But on the other hand, when did any plan ever work for him, somehow everything always went to hell. Either way, in many ways this could be considered as a success.

That was immediately after the events had taken place, as time passed guilt started to creep up around his heart. Now it was about as subtle as a Hippogriff when it stared him in his face, one fact especially made Harry feel bad. He had killed. While he had earlier felt responsible for deaths around him he had never committed the act before. After all, was it he who had raised his wands against his parents or Ron?

This time he had done it and had not attempted to stop Rabastan, the name of the man still felt unusual and certainly disconnected to him, Harry had even felt relief when his opponents fell at the hand of his new ally. What kind of self-respecting Light wizard did that? That flash of light with the colour of his eyes that had killed his best mate flashed in front of his inner eyes and there was nothing Harry could do to keep the tormenting thoughts away.

Hermione, could she really have betrayed them? Harry couldn't believe it! When their friendship appeared to diminish, could all that trust, all those memories that made up their relation crumble into nothing in a matter of seconds?

Two days had passed since then.

The first day Harry started reading in the book on magical theory; that he and his friends managed to find. At first glance it said nothing new, but not far into the book strange things started to appear. The origin of magic in the British Islands dated from the time beyond written sources and as the art of writing had been shunned by many of the druids of old much was lost in the mists of history. True knowledge at time had been passed on as an oral tradition and what little knowledge they had was passed on Roman interpretations. What was becoming clearer as Harry read on was that the definition of good and evil magic had come with the Roman invasions and the latinisation of the ancient spells.

Wait, what was he reading?

Dark magic had to be evil and light good, right? That was what he had been taught at Hogwarts after all and this was a major thing to be wrongfully taught to generations of sorcerers.

The second change came centuries later; during the reign of the legendary king of Britain, Arthur Pendragon, when his mentor and sister declared themselves to be the first Lord and Lady of magic. Merlin became the first Light Lord and Morgaine became the initial Dark Lady, both influenced the practice of the magical arts forever. With a front figure to rally behind the conflict between the new fractions almost became a full scale war.

The third and last major magical conflict was the invasion from the North; the invaders brought their own practices that slowly started to integrate with the local tradition. Much of the magic brought with the Northerners was quickly classified as Dark, yet not necessarily evil as it had evolved in a different climate under different gods. Now almost all magic that was practiced by Morgaine, her successors and the old spells from the north was considered evil.

Harry shock his head, this was most unexpected. What his friends and he was expecting was perhaps a manual on how to create spells, not the history of Magic itself. On the other hand, this was the first time he came across any information that even mentioned many of the things described, how could he trust anything.

The best solution was perhaps to sleep on it. Perhaps he should write to Luna and Ginny to inquire after their opinion on the read.

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When Harry woke the next morning he decided to write not only to the girls about the book, but also a quick note to Hermione in an attempt to solve the mysteries that was her involvement with the League.

Dear Hermione,

I am aware that we have barley spoken since the Department of Mysteries. Remember that I am always here if you want to talk, despite me not taking the chance when you offered it to me last year. Ron was my best friend and not a day passes when I don't miss him. How are you handling things?

On a merrier note, I have heard from Sirius that you have gotten a mission as you had hoped. If I understood it right, you are working at securing alliances for the Order. I must admit that I am jealous that you are allowed to contribute to our cause while all I can do is sitting around. It's hardly fair! What are you doing and have there been any success yet?

Your friend,

Harry

When Hedwig flew off with the letter Harry placed the enchanted parchments in front of him, smiling slightly at the one he shared with Rabastan; the man was hard to pin down. Either way, they had decided to lay low for a few more days. One part of Harry couldn't wait the experience that night had been strangely liberating.

He took up the parchment and began to write.

H: Ginny, Luna; have you had time to read in the book we got. I have only reached chapter five, but find the contents very interesting.

L: I read the first chapters a few days ago, but haven't had time to write earlier; fun to hear from you again Harry.

G: You guys are really slow! I have already finished the book! There is only so much time one can do nothing and mourn.

H: Ginny how are you, considering what has happened. We have worried.

G: Better, mum is driving me crazy though.

L: You can stay with dad and me when we return to Britain if you want a slight change of scenery.

G: Thank you; let's talk about the book instead.

L: Naturally.

H: What did you make of the first chapters, especially number five?

G: Am I supposed to remember what in what chapter?

H: Yes?

L: It's the part when the magical history of the British Isles is first mentioned.

G: Oh, that part! I struggle to see a world without a clear division within the magical branches.

L: In the Defence against the Dark Arts classes it almost seemed as much knowledge was intended to be evil since the start, I have always found this very odd. My father taught me that both Dark and Light magic is needed to keep the balance to prevent a magical backlash. It makes sense that the world was more stable before the polarisation.

H: What?

G: You mean that the magic itself could once have been neutral?

L: Of course. Many witches and wizards have neutral cores even today, most in fact.

H: So you mean that we perform better when the magic we use resonates with our 'core'?

G: That would make sense, but Luna how come you seem to get a hang on many spells we do, despite if they are neutral or not? Is either that or you do not perform them at all.

L: I can't do all kinds of magic taught at Hogwarts due to my abilities. Some spells, charms and especially borderline dark curses blur my sight.

H: What is a core anyway?

G: Did no one teach you these things?

H: When did we learn this at Hogwarts? Right, never. How do you know any of this?

L: Our parents taught us. Well, my mother did before she died and father is always seeking new knowledge. That's what the Quibbler is for after all: opening eyes to new sides of magic.

H: That and clear my name. But no one ever taught me any of this.

G: Dumbledore didn't? Or Sirius or Remus, someone must have?

H: No.

L: Could you imagine Sirius ever doing something like sitting down with Harry and teach him magical theory? A more likely scenario would be if the lesson in question included how to best prank Slytherins.

H: I can actually imagine it. What are these core things anyway?

G: A core is the base of your magical ability, what allows you to cast spells and it determines how strong you are magically?

H: Can't you train your, ehrm, magical stamina?

L: Yes, but some are just born naturally strong, as Dumbledore, but even he has had to work to reach the level of magical ability and knowledge he now has. What Ginny didn't mention was that the core is affected since birth by the Light, Dark or it remains natural. Casting these spells that are of that specific branch often comes easier, is often more powerful and less exhausting.

H: How do you know which kind of core you have? I have never considered it?

G: Cast spells?

The conversation ended there, without the actual contents of the book was truly discussed, but there were more times to do so. The two girls had other things that called for theirs attention, as responsibilities or enjoyment. Waiting around like this was maddening, he couldn't for his life understand how Sirius managed. Wouldn't it be wiser to at least let them fade away together? Apparently not, it was all very frustrating.

Outside of Privet Drive the world seemed to fall apart and some of the families that had not taken a side in the war earlier, for it were close to becoming a war if it already wasn't one already, had created a forth front. According to a new letter he had got from Sirius the previous day they were led by Lord Greengrass, father of Astoria and Daphne. What the new front wished to achieve Harry did not know, but from what Sirius said the group consisted of pureblood families and some richer half-bloods only that thought Voldemort's rule would prove inadequate for the future of the wizarding world. On the other hand they weren't as liberal as the Order of the Phoenix, if one could call the Order that, since they weren't speaking for the freedom and integration of all. Still they appeared saner than the League; Harry thought with a shiver as the remembered the events of that night. They appeared to be the Muggleborn equivalent to Death Eaters, a scary thought indeed. The wizarding world certainly didn't need more fanatics!

Since both Greengrass girls had been in the DA the previous year, as two of the few Slytherins that had been invited to join the group mostly due to their shared dislike of Umbridge, Harry could contact them and perhaps gain some additional insight. They might become suspicious and think that he was acting on the behalf of Dumbledore on the other hand, that could severe the mutual respect they had slowly built up last year.

There truly seemed to be nothing to do. Perhaps he should summon Dobby to see if the elf had time to talk. Harry really needed to get out from here and that fast!

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Two more days passed in the same pace, the time was spent mostly reading in the book and sharing some of his theories with Ginny and Luna, even if they had yet had time to call another meeting. Its content was simply fascinating! Well, that and slightly disturbing. Dobby had been strangely absent, as had the guard from the Order that was observing his every move.

After having left Harry alone out of fear the Dursley's had started to realise that his hidden guardians were missing. The atmosphere was once more downright nasty as it had been during his childhood. Due to this Harry kept his wand close to him at all times, especially since his cousin never truly had outgrown his fondness for Harry hunting. Would he ever?

Harry's capacity to love Muggles did certainly not grow at his stay on Privet Drive, after that night especially so. He had been responsible for the death of several people, and perhaps Dumbledore was right: killing rips the soul apart. He really wanted his to stay whole though, not that one should be able to actually split once soul on purpose- that would be grotesque, right?

It was true though that his morality had taken a huge blow, something that scared him. Harry did certainly not want to turn into an insane murderer without a conscience, thank you very much! He really had to talk to someone about this, someone that could be trusted but would neither instantly judge nor forgive him. That ruled out Sirius, Dumbledore and he couldn't trust Hermione with this, then who? Professor Lupin perhaps, he had been willing to teach him the Patronus spell and wasn't as blind to his less pleasing sides as Sirius was.

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One day though, with Harry's wand forgotten upstairs, Dudley saw his change to take his revenge on his favourite punching bag. After all, hitting kids was no way near as fun as tormenting his cousin. No one took his favourite pastimes from him and lived happily to tell the tale after all! The freak would pay.

It was first when Dudley's fist collided with the back of his head realised his mistake.

Then all went black.

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Well wizard chat on parchment, I hope that it wasn't to annoying to read. Either way I haven't planned on writing much in that fashion, since I find it harder to focus on. Like it, hate it? Please review and tell me how I can improve my writing and make this a more pleasant experience for us all. I am still learning after all.

Also: I haven't decided on my secondary parings, so if there is certain characters you want to see together please tell me. Who knows, I might love it and use it. Hermione will not be paired with anyone though.

Until next time!