You guys will really like this chapter. I find it to be very heart-warming, and I hope you do too!
I just sat there waiting for the facials I thought they would give me, but the two remained blank faced. They stared a lot, but never brought a single emotion to their face. I wanted them to give me a look, or move in a certain way that would give me a sign about what they were feeling or thinking, but they didn't, and I was struggling, and the struggling soon became tears running down my cheeks. I was always the kind of person that never cried when they were sad. I always cried when I was angry, struggling, and sometimes even happy . . . but never sad. I looked away from the two and buried my face in my pillow as I started bawling, and that's when Hermione and Ginny made a move. I hated that. Why did people always make a move when it was too late, when they hurt someone or when they realize that they've made a mistake? I didn't know, and I didn't want it that way.
"Lucinda, it's okay, he's a jerk, I'm sure you're better off without him," Ginny said as she rubbed my back, but she didn't understand why I was crying. She thought it was because Draco had rejected me, but she didn't realize that it was much more complicated than that, and the worst thing was that I couldn't tell her. All I could do was cry.
"Lucinda . . . come on, it's alright, we've all gotten hurt this year," Hermione said with a warmth to her voice. After a few minutes had passed, I was still crying and the two had finally gotten off my bed and went over to the opposite end of the room to speak. They thought I wouldn't be able to hear them, but the room was so quiet that I could even hear the clock on the wall tick.
"I think we should leave her alone for a few minutes so she can clear her mind up," Hermione whispered to Ginny.
"I know . . . especially the 'clearing her mind' part. What does she see in that boy?" Ginny quietly hissed.
"Ginny, it's not like she can control her feelings, but I guess it is kind of bizarre. I wonder how that happened," Hermione whispered back. "Hey listen, I think we should head out to the common room. I don't want her waking up. She needs the rest . . . look at her. She hasn't been herself for almost five days."
"Yeah, poor Lucinda. Let's go," Ginny whispered as the door shut behind them. As soon as the door was closed, I sat up from my laying position and leapt out of bed.
"I haven't been myself? What is my self anyways?" I thought. I was just angry that the two thought it was so crazy having feelings for Draco. It wasn't fair . . . they had never given him a chance to befriend them in the first place. I went over to the balcony doors and pushed them open. I walked onto the balcony, and a totally different feeling spread across my body. The cool air outside entered my body as I inhaled, and as I exhaled, I felt like all the bad feelings had left with my breath. It was as if the air outside had filtered my body. I closed my eyes and went to the edge of the balcony and held onto it. I felt the chill of the breeze running through my hair and I couldn't help but smile. Nature had always been one thing I loved. Being outside had always made me feel great, because it had always made me feel as if I was re-invented. After a few seconds of standing in the breeze, I opened my eyes wanting to also experience the view. The moon was shining over the lake and its reflection just sparkled over the water as if there were a bunch of diamonds beneath it. I could see and hear the trees beneath the balcony dancing in the wind. The air smelt of wood, and the fish that were swimming in the water. I suddenly felt new again; as if everything that happened that day was behind me, and that I could wake up the next morning with a fresh, new start.
As I stared at the night sky, I suddenly heard an unusual sound. I turned my face to my right. At first I didn't recognize who the person on the balcony farther from my right was, but soon the luminosity of his blond hair and blue eyes gave me an idea of who it might be. It was clearly Draco. Once I had realized it was him, my eyes widened and I couldn't take my eyes off him. It's not that I was surprised that he was standing out on his balcony. I was surprised because of what he was doing . . . he was crying. Tears ran down his cheeks and I could see them sparkle from the reflection of the moon and stars. Not only did tears run down his cheeks, but he also wept. I didn't know why he was weeping. Was it because of me? Or was he frightened because of him mission? . . . Or was it not being able to be with me during his mission?
Seeing Draco in that state made me sad, but for some odd reason it also moved me. Draco had always been the tough, aggressive one that never showed much of his emotions. He always hid them from everyone. Aggression was always his shield. Seeing him like that made me want to be with him even more; it was as if his tears were speaking to me and yelling 'help me.' He needed me, and I needed to be with him, but he had his barrier up.
As I stood there and looked at him from afar I was planning to speak with him the next day. I was going to tell him that weather he liked it or not, he had to let me stay with him, but as I stood there, I felt something else build up inside the pit of my stomach. I felt like I couldn't wait till tomorrow. I felt like I had to speak to him that very moment or I wouldn't be able to sleep that night. A new plan began to emerge. I looked at the wall between his balcony and mine. I could see bars attached to the wall and suddenly, my imagination turned on. Before I could think, my arm reached over to the bar and I held onto it. My foot placed itself on the other. I then began to climb sideways along the bars, towards the balcony Draco was standing in. I was surprised he had noticed me, but I assumed it was because my balcony was farther down from his. As I struggled my way towards him, I kept telling myself to not look down, but even if I had looked, it wouldn't have made a difference. I was too determined to reach him. Before I had realized, I had reached the last bar. I placed both of my hands on the edge of Draco's balcony and started pulling myself up. Once my head was over the edge, I could see Draco staring at me in alarm. At first he didn't recognize me, but once he did . . . he no longer looked alarmed, he was in shock.
"Lucinda!?" He yelled as he stood in front of my face. His legs were blocking my way, so I couldn't see what was in front of me. He finally reached over and gave me his hand. I grabbed onto it and he pulled me up. "What are you doing here? How-what-where- HOW'D YOU GET HEAR!?" He asked as I got off the balcony floor and stood up.
"My balcony is over there, and I saw you hear, and I wanted to see you," I said as I pointed towards the opposite direction.
"Well you must have wanted to see me pretty bad-" He said quickly but then stopped. "WHAT!? You climbed all the way from there to hear?" He pointed to the two different directions as I nodded. "Are you trying to kill yourself? Look how high it is from the ground!" He said looking down at the dancing trees. I wanted him to shut up, so I placed my index finger against his lips.
"You really need to calm down . . . I surprised you, we're happy, and . . . I'm not dead," I said smiling as I took my finger away from his face. He just stared at me with his beautiful blue eyes.
"You're right . . . but what did I tell you?" He whispered with worry in his eyes. "This is dangerous, I can't see you. You need to go," He said as he grabbed my arm and began towards the balcony doors. I just looked at him with annoyance as I yanked my arm away from him.
"Is anyone here right now?!" I asked in fury.
"No, but-"
"Nobody is here, no one can see us. I don't know what the problem is!" I shouted.
"We're outside!" He aggressively whispered. I looked at him with sadness. "I'm sorry, you're right," he suddenly said after moments of silence. He placed both hands on my face and looked into my eyes. I looked back. The moons reflection was shining off of his stunning blue eyes, and I couldn't help but notice his beautiful pink lips that almost looked orange. Before I had even realized, our faces began moving closer and closer together. I was so close to him that I could even here his faint breathing. I could feel his eyes look at mine, but before I had the chance to look back at his, our lips met. As I closed my eyes, I could feel the warmth of his lips against mine. They were so soft. If I hadn't known any better, I'd think that they were just two fluffy pillows against my face, and that I was only dreaming, but the best thing of all was that I wasn't dreaming; this was reality. Many minutes had passed as we stood there with our lips locked together, but it felt like seconds. As he let go of my face, he looked at me again and I couldn't help but blush. It was the most perfect, beautiful moment of my life; full moon, on a balcony, and a kiss. It was like a romantic movie.
"Does this mean you'll let me be with you?" I asked softly still in awe at what had just happened. There was then a pause for a few moments as he looked at me, but soon the answer I was hoping for appeared. He nodded. I gave him the widest smile I had ever given anyone. He smirked back.
"But you do have to promise me something," he said still looking into my eyes. I wanted him to look away for a second. It felt like he was reading my very thoughts at that moment, but I couldn't look away from him. I was just so hypnotized by his focus at me.
"And what's that promise?" I asked, but suddenly something moved through the trees beneath us. Draco immediately took out his wand and looked under. After minutes of panic, he sited the wand back in his jacket, and placed his hand on my back.
"I'll tell you inside, let's go," he said as he gently moved me towards his balcony doors.
As I stepped into his room I noticed that it was actually not very different from the Gryffindor rooms. I was surprised; I thought it would be a bit different since he was in a different house than mine.
"Where's Crabbe and Goyle?" I asked as I looked around the room.
"I really don't know . . . probably pushing some prefect around," he said as he faintly chuckled.
"Why didn't you go with them?" I asked.
"Didn't really feel like it," He said shrugging.
"That's not like you," I laughed.
"What do you mean?"
"Well come on! You're Malfoy . . . you love making people cry," I said jokingly. "But I guess I kind of know why you're not being yourself lately."
"Yeah, out of all the people at Hogwarts, Voldemort had to pick me. I mean . . .why me?!" He yelled as he started walking in circles around the room.
"That's a complicated question, just like the question of why Voldemort couldn't kill Harry Potter at the age of one," I said. Draco just looked at me as his nostrils began to flare and his eyes began to squint angrily.
"Don't even talk about Potter!" He spoke with force.
"Why are you so bothered by him?" I asked as I sat next to him on the bedside.
"Because, because-"
"I know why!" I said as I interrupted his thinking of a lame excuse. "It's because he doesn't let the fear of death get in his way, that's why," I said. "And you are intimidated because you are frightened by him . . . It's an insecurity of yours isn't it?" I asked as I furrowed my brow. He then abruptly stood up.
"No . . . I have no insecurities, why would I be insecure? I just don't like him because he's a show-off, and no one likes a show off," he quickly said.
"Do you know how I found out that I loved you?" I asked with emotion as I followed his move. He looked back waiting for the answer.
"It's because I saw you're emotions and because I found your insecurities," I said.
"I'm not scared of anything," he said with persuasive voice.
"Stop saying that! Show your fear . . . Show your sadness . . . and just stop hiding your feelings from me!" I said. "I want to see them, so I can keep on loving you," I softly added as I reached my hand towards his. He just looked at me with despair. As soon as our hands were locked together, a feeling of warmth spread through my body. I felt like no power, no spell and no force in this world could stop us from letting go of each other. As soon as our hands touched, I didn't want to let go. We were like two parasites, that couldn't get enough of each other.
"It's normal to feel frightened. It's normal to cry from sadness, but it's not normal to run away from your feelings," I said again. "Especially now that I'm with you."
"I wanted you to promise me something though," he said.
"Anything," I whispered.
"Promise me that if I don't complete the mission, you will save yourself and leave Voldemort to kill me. Don't give your life up for me. If I . . ." he gulped loudly. "If Voldemort takes me to get killed . . . promise to not come after me," he said as he looked intensely into my eyes. I stood frozen in spot. I didn't want to think about him dying, and I didn't know if I could keep that promise, but if it meant being with him, then I had to.
"Okay," I finally said with fear in my eyes. "I promise."
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