~Four~
A leather briefcase stands beside the front door. Its presence stops me in my tracks, torn between what I should do and what I want to do.
I tell myself it's stupid to waste the morning waiting for him to come downstairs, that I'll see him later on. I'm out the door and halfway down the path before I can change my mind.
Instead, I wander back toward the pier. The beach is empty, apart from seagulls looking for breakfast and a few swimmers braving the cold water. Without the gaudy lights and crowds, the whole area has an eerie feel. I climb up the sea-worn stairs to the boardwalk, where a few vendors are setting up for the day. Posters flutter in the breeze, advertising the Oyster festival: good food, live music, fireworks. I check the times on one of them and wonder whether Charlie and Emily might want to go, but I nip that thought in the bud before it can become poisoned with disappointment.
Arcades flank the pier, their doors open, but quiet for now. I wander farther out to sea, passing old fairground rides. A teacup ride which brings back dizzy memories sits next to a small area where multicoloured bumper cars are packed together silently. The faint smell of sugar and baking drifts on the morning air, and my stomach rumbles thinking about donuts and clouds of pink cotton candy.
The final attraction before the viewing platform out over the sea is a carousel. The jewel colors and golden manes of the horses make me feel five years old again. I want to ride around and around and watch the world blur.
By the time I return to the house, it's almost lunch. Emily is slicing a huge watermelon, its pink juice spilling into a puddle on the countertop.
"Your dad's home." She's glittering this morning, and it's easy to see why Charlie was drawn to her, why I find myself smiling when I'm around her despite the bad attitude I was cultivating toward her at home. "Out back." She nods to the open doors when she sees me look around for him. "On the deck. He's been asking where you are."
She says this with emphasis, as if it's not the normal reaction of a parent whose child has been missing for the better part of four hours.
I steal a slice of watermelon to take outside with me.
"Hey." I pull out a chair while Charlie puts down his newspaper. He stands and hovers, unsure what to do, starting to go in for a hug but changing his mind to give my shoulder a squeeze and my cheek a kiss instead.
"Bella, how are you? It's really good to see you. You look different. Taller, I think. Or maybe it's your hair."
I smile and pick out a black seed from the melon, flicking it into a nearby bush along with the unkind words I want to use. "I'm good, thanks."
"How are you finding the beach? Emily says you've been exploring."
"It's really nice. The beach house is lovely."
Emily joins us with plates piled high with fresh salad. "The beach life really suits Bella. Look at her freckles already. Who knew they were hiding under that porcelain skin?" She winks, and it lightens the mood for a moment.
"Great. I'm glad you're having a good time." He's already distracted with his phone.
"Thanks."
And so our awkward father-daughter dance begins. We use words that can be interpreted in so many ways. Answers with no substance.
Fine. Great. Okay.
We tread water while Emily throws out questions to keep us from drowning in silence.
The sad reality of our relationship descends like mist, and despite myself, I decide to at least try to find my way through it before we get lost completely.
"I'm not sure if you have plans tonight, but there's a festival in town. I thought maybe we could all go? There's going to be live music and loads of food. It'll save us from cooking dinner." I look to Emily, avoiding seeing the reaction on my father's face.
"That sounds like fun, doesn't it, Charlie?" Her voice almost has an edge to it, but her smile is sweet.
"It does. What time does it start?"
I'm so surprised, I can't remember any of the details, and Emily has to fill in for me. "It's pretty much all evening, and then later there'll be fireworks and dancing."
"Great." His phone vibrates again, and he excuses himself to make a call.
"Oh, I can't wait." Emily claps her hands together and then begins to clear the table. "I've never been dancing with your dad before. I hope he doesn't have two left feet." She giggles, shaking her head. I don't think she can quite believe it herself.
I spend the afternoon on the beach, writing a letter to my mom. I tell her all about the ocean, the house and the carousel on the pier. I even write about Riley, but I don't mention anything about Charlie agreeing to go to the festival. I don't want to jinx it. I don't want to show the tiny sliver of hope to anyone else, because it's all that harder to hide when it's slashed wide open with disappointment.
At every passing minute, Emily's anxiety increases. She twists a silver bracelet around her wrist and worries at her lip. "I'm sure he'll be here any second."
I just smile as she tries to reassure me that Charlie is anything but a liar.
"He promised," she says, smoothing down her dress, as if that means anything. We can hear music drifting through the open doors. As each song ends and another begins, I feel my anger rising. Anger at myself for thinking he'd be any different. Anger at the tears Emily wipes away so I don't see. Anger at the empty driveway. Empty chair. Empty promise.
"He's not coming."
She blinks at me, opening her mouth to defend him again, but I hold up a hand to stop her. "He's not."
"No." She's deflated as she stands to clear away the untouched glass of wine. When she returns, her hair is loose and she is barefoot.
"We could still go?" I say, but she's wilting in front of my eyes.
"I think I'll stay here, just in case he gets in touch. He might be stuck in traffic. Maybe his phone died? We can come along and meet you later?"
I dont want to go on my own, but I will not let him ruin my night as well. "Okay, well, hopefully I'll see you later."
As I close the front door, I see her walking upstairs. She'll be curled up on the bed by the time I turn the corner.
AN: Thank you for reading.
Love to my girls xxx