Once Connor was alone, he reached for his phone, calling Lena.

"Connor! Hello! How are you? How's Jude? Stef mentioned you were at the house last night?"

"I'm good. He's good. We just needed some time to sort through some stuff."

"Oh," Lena murmured. "How's that?"

"We're … where we were before, I guess." Connor had no idea what he was supposed to say. "We were wondering if you'd be okay to keep Mikey another night?"

"Sure, we're always happy to have him." Lena paused. "Although, Connor, I'll admit we're all a little confused."

"I know. Would you mind if I came over or a few minutes? Just to see him?"

"Of course come over!" Lena said brightly.

"Thanks, Lena. See you soon."

When Connor arrived at the Adams-Foster house, Mikey was sitting on the front porch. He jumped up when he saw Connor's car and rushed from the steps. Connor barely got out of the car when Mikey was wrapped around him. Connor lifted the skinny boy up into a hug.

"Dad!"

"Hey, Mikey!"

"Dad, where's Father?"

"Father's at a doctor's appointment right now."

Mikey nodded, his red hair flopping into his eyes. "Grandma said I'm staying here tonight too."

"You are. Is that okay?"

"But, why?" Mikey whined.

"Mikey, I need you to trust me, okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Tomorrow, I'm going to pick you up from soccer and I'm going to explain everything to you then."

Mikey frowned at him. "That's not fair."

"I know."

"I'm not a baby!"

"I know. But grown-ups are weird. And I need you to let me be weird until tomorrow." Connor made a face at Mikey by sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes. He hoped it would help his case.

Mikey grinned and agreed, "Yeah, you are!"

"So is it okay if I'm weird until tomorrow?"

"Fine," Mikey said sulkily. Then he mentioned, "I have math homework."

"Need some help?"

"Yes, please!"

Connor put Mikey down onto his own two feet and then Mikey led him into the house. Connor was left in the living room while he went to fetch his bag from upstairs. It was during this interlude that Lena slipped into the room.

"Thanks for letting him stay," Connor said to her.

"Any time. Stef and I are wondering what's going on," she added a little bluntly.

"Jude and I are just tying up loose ends. It's not really … pretty."

Lena looked sympathetic. "Is this a reconciliation attempt? You can tell us, you know. We love you both."

Connor tried to look neutral. Connor tried to keep his voice steady. But he failed on both counts and ended up whispering, "Oh, Lena, you know that's never going to happen for us."

Lena pretended not to see his tears, knowing that it would only hurt him more. "Things will work out how they're supposed to."

"I got my homework!" Mikey shouted, bouncing into the room. "Hi, Grandma."

"You're starting your homework early. I'm impressed," Lena said.

"I wanted Dad to help me," Mikey said.

"Dad can stay as long as he wants."

"I can't stay long," Connor said. "I need to pick up Father at five o'clock."

"From where?" Lena asked.

"Doctor's!" Mikey said, and, before Lena could ask why Jude was at the doctor's, Mikey continued on. "Let's sit at the table, Dad."

They sat side by side at a kitchen table that Connor knew far too well. Mikey might not ever realize it, but Connor had practically grown up in this house along with Jude. It was heartbreaking for Connor, then, to not feel completely at home at this table. He had never felt like he didn't belong at the Adams-Foster house. Long before Connor had taken Jude's name, this had been home for him.

"What kind of math are we doing today?"

"Addition with two digit numbers," Mikey said.

"Can you tell me how to do it?"

"I think so …" Mikey mused, before begin his attempt at an explanation.

In the middle of Mikey's little lecture, Connor kissed the top of his head, unable to resist. His home was where his son was, and that would never change.

(-.-)

Jude didn't say a word when they left Dr. Nadine's office. They got into the car in silence and he buckled himself in with stiff movements.

"How was it?" Connor asked finally.

"Fine. Mikey?"

"He's confused," Connor said, relating the details of his visit. "Your moms would really like it if you called them tonight. They're a little worried."

"Remind me," Jude said, sounding weak.

"I will," Connor promised. He glanced over at Jude for a moment, taking his eyes off the road and the early evening traffic. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Fine."

"Do you still want to go grocery shopping?"

"Grocery shopping feels normal."

Connor didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing anymore. What did Jude consider normal? Was it an ideal that he wanted to return to or was it the hurt and the pain that had driven him to place a noose around his own neck, believing that to be the only solution? Connor let his gaze drift to the light blue line around Jude's neck. Connor decided that they were going grocery shopping. He would give Jude a new normal; he'd help Jude build a solid platform that he could stand on. It was all that he could do for Jude now.

Jude didn't say a word when they got to the grocery store, but his gait grew stronger as they passed inside the automatic doors. Connor grabbed a grocery cart and followed Jude, who knew what aisles he needed to walk down. He picked ingredients with ease and nestled them in the basket of the cart with more care than was necessary. Connor's trepidation about whether or not the grocery store was a good idea had vanished by the time they walked down the frozen foods section. Jude didn't seem happy, per se, but the wavering man that had been in his place since yesterday afternoon seemed to have fallen into the background. At least for a moment. The wavering man returned at checkout. And when they returned to the car, Jude folded himself into the passenger seat, leaving Connor to put the groceries into the trunk on his own.

The drive home seemed short. After carrying the groceries inside and putting them away, Jude immediately began to lay the burger ingredients out on the counter.

"You don't have to start now if you're tired."

"I feel like I need to be doing something," Jude answered, transferring the hamburger to a large bowl.

"Thank you for cooking dinner for me," Connor said.

Jude glanced at him, and Connor became trapped in his gaze. There was so much emotion in Jude's face; so much that Connor didn't know or understand. Connor wanted to reach out and learn why and how; get down to the roots of everything and help the happiness blossom while trimming down the sadness and the depression.

"You're welcome," Jude said. "Thank you for everything else."

Connor didn't say anything. He flicked the counter radio on and turned the music down low.

"Can I help?" Connor offered.

"Not right now. I want to do it."

"All right." Connor sat on the counter, taking up the same space Jude had last night.

Jude worked quietly for a few minutes before saying, "Tell me something."

"Sure. What do you want to know?"

"Anything … It's been a long time since we talked about anything."

That was true. They had become too comfortable with silence; only breaking it to share facts about Mikey. Connor realized how much he had to tell Jude. And not just big things that happened over the last seven months, but all of the little things too. Though he and Jude had always shared so much through their friendship and relationship, Connor thought of when they had first started living together. Then, curling up in bed with Jude had become Connor's favourite part of the day. There, in the darkness, they would lie intertwined, and they would trade all of the details of their day: the photocopier at work broke; I saw a blonde woman with a beehive hairdo; my coffee this morning had too much cream in it. Anything and everything one had to say was interesting to the other. But that had died down, and had eventually gone away completely.

"Olivia at the office had her baby. They named her Melanie."

"That's sweet."

"Mel peed me."

Jude raised his eyebrows at Connor.

"Olivia brought Mel to the office soon after she was born. And I was holding her and she peed and I ended up drenched." Connor sighed. "I'm glad Mikey's potty-trained."

"I'm glad Mikey always peed on you, pre potty-training," Jude snorted.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm cursed." Connor rolled his eyes. "Oh. And my favourite barista left for college this year and the guy who replaced her is untrainable."

"Maybe if your coffee order wasn't the café equivalent of rocket science, you wouldn't have a problem."

"Hey, just because I have superior taste buds –"

"You think Budweiser tastes good!"

" – and you have unsuperior taste buds –"

"I don't think that's a word."

Connor laughed. "Just let me have this one!"

Jude gestured at Connor with the knife in his hand, a few pieces of minced onion dropping to the floor. "Not when you're wrong!"

"I'm sorry, Lord Jude, but we can't all be as perfect as you."

The humour left Jude's face and slowly he returned to chopping up onions. Limply, he said, "I'm not perfect."

"No," Connor agreed, kicking his heel against the cupboard door. How much should he say to that? "But that's why you are perfect."

Jude didn't look at him. "Tell me something."

"I found this really great Indian restaurant. They just opened up and they're on my way from wok to the apartment, so on my lazy nights, that's where I usually get dinner."

"I thought you weren't a fan of Indian."

"Not usually, but it's a really good place." And I've never been there with you, so I don't find myself ordering your favourite dishes and sitting in the places that I knew you were once in.

Jude nodded and slid a couple of perfectly crafted burgers into a heated skillet. "Could you keep an eye on those while I make the salad, please?"

"No problem."

Connor carefully tended to the burgers, moving the plate of uncooked burgers closer to him so that he could put those into the pan as soon as there was room for them. The more the burgers cooked, the more his stomach growled and his mouth watered. He knew exactly how these burgers would taste, particularly when he got to his favourite part: the feta stuffed centre. He finished cooking the pile of burgers as Jude finished pouring the balsamic vinegar on the salad.

Quietly, they moved around one another, setting out their buns and piling toppings and sauces onto the burgers. Jude dished the salad onto both of their plates and then Connor led the way into the dining room. Connor sat at his usual seat with Jude right next to him. Under the table, their knees rested against one another.

"Thanks for supper," Connor said.

"You already said that."

Connor picked up his burger. "Yeah, but I'm excited."

He took his first bite, and it was well worth the excitement.

(-.-)

Connor was sitting on the futon, his laptop awkwardly balancing on his thighs. He was reading through a progress report, desperately trying to pay attention to the words and not eavesdrop on Jude, who was on the phone with his mothers.

"No, Moms, that's not it all … It's really not a big deal, we just didn't want Mikey to hear the yelling … There's been some … No, definitely not. And no, definitely not!" Here, he paused and looked at Connor before saying, "I know. But I have to be realistic … Doctor? What? … Oh. No. Just a check-up. Everything's fine." He sighed. "Did Mikey go to bed okay? … Tomorrow, for sure. Yes. I love you too. Thanks, Moms. Bye."

Jude dropped his phone onto his nightstand with a clatter.

"Everything okay?" Connor asked.

"Yes. Then, "I'm not telling them."

"I didn't say –"

"Your thoughts are louder than your mouth sometimes." Jude climbed under his comforter and dropped heavily onto his pillows.

"You're not loud at all."

"I have nothing to be loud about."

"I think you do."

Jude sighed into his pillow. "Okay, Connor."

"I just don't like you underestimating yourself. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

"No offense, but I'm not sure I want to know how I look from my estranged almost ex-husband's perspective."

"I think I'd surprise you," Connor said, but it was he who was surprised by Jude's next words: "Then I want to know even less."

Connor could understand that. As hard as it was to know that Jude didn't love him anymore, it would be even harder to know that Jude still loved him. That would mean that they still loved each other, but they were separated with plans for a divorce anyway. He watched as Jude snuggled himself further into bed, even though it was still fairly early.

"Will the laptop light bother you?" Connor asked.

"No." Jude flicked off the light. "I just want to lay here for a while."

"Okay."

Connor stayed up until nearly two in the morning, getting ahead of what he could so that he could spend most of his day tomorrow away from work. His eyes going dry, Connor finally tucked his laptop under the futon and laid down, staring up at the far off ceiling. His mind felt cluttered, though he couldn't seem to make himself work through one single thing. He thought about Mikey a lot; Mikey and Jude together. He felt almost dizzy with exhaustion, but he couldn't make himself close his eyes and go to sleep.

Unfortunately, nights like these had become far too common since the separation.

He was still staring at the ceiling when Jude appeared next to the futon. He was chewing on his lip and seemed surprised that Connor was awake. He opened his mouth, but Connor didn't need to be asked. He moved over and allowed Jude to lay next to him on the futon.

Jude turned on his side to face Connor, and Connor decided to use Jude's arm as a pillow. He closed his eyes, feeling calm enough to sleep. Jude draped an arm over his waist and Connor felt completely content. More than content enough to fall asleep in Jude's arms.

So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Hand In My Pocket, to my tumblr URL add backslash tagged backslash hand dash in dash my dash pocket

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~TLL~