Chapter 4: Wreckage

I was drowning in volcanic lava. Being swept into the fires of hell. I knew that I was changing. But why had Tom gone against my vision? It would get us both killed. The thought that Tom would die because of me added mental fire to the physical burning. Please make it stop! I tried to concentrate on anything else to distract me from the anguish but nothing worked. I had flashes of semi-coherency. The lilting movement of Tom running with me in his arms at his full speed. Laying on a bed that felt like fire and brimstone. Hearing soothing mumblings from Tom's musical voice, feeling his cool hands on my skin. I tried to focus on our future. Had he made a decision that would change our fate? In the immediate future I saw him pacing, comforting me, reading and writing. It did not make a lot of sense to me and the burning was so distracting, I couldn't see anything at all when I tried to look further ahead.

Then I got another vision. It was clear and imminent. Tom leaned over me, stroked my hair and pressed another firm kiss to my forehead, then he was gone and I was alone. As I continued to burn, my visions kept haunting me in flashes, making my torture all encompassing. I saw Tom confront the one who was searching for me at the asylum. From my visions' perspective the fight seemed to be long and brutal and I couldn't see who would be victorious. It kept changing. Something had been lit in Tom and his fighting had become more formidable as a consequence. I alternated between looking at our past and looking for our future. I tried to memorise Tom's features and his kindness, knowing that I could lose it all in my transition.

But there came a time when I looked forward to Tom's future and it was blank. There was nothing there. I screamed as my eyes flew open. I might have screamed for minutes, hours or days. I had no concept of time anymore. My throat burned from the thirst and the screaming. Tom was gone. I was alone. I was a demon with no one to control or guide me.

Eventually my screams gave way to sobs, which ultimately gave way to stillness. I became trapped in my own mind. I could remember nothing but Tom. Not even my own name. My mind searched for him, although I knew it was futile. My grief was all consuming. Gradually my thirst became more urgent and could no longer be ignored. As soon as I made a decision to do something about it, images of a massacre flooded my mind. A massacre caused by me. The images paralysed me, trapping me in a vicious loop.

A disgusting hot liquid was flowing down my throat. It tasted vile but it was soothing the burn. Marginally. I came to my senses with my lips at the neck of a wild boar and pushed away, disgusted. I scrabbled back and became aware that there were several animal carcasses close by. I had no recollection of what I had done, but obviously I was responsible because my scent lingered at each one. Instinctively, I knew that I should hide the evidence of my gluttony and I hurriedly buried them.

Desolately, I followed my trail back to the cabin where I had awoken. Now that my thirst had been diminished, my mind was once again filled with Tom. I tried to collate my patchy memories and sort fact from vision. That was all I really knew. Tom was everything to me and he had gone and I could see visions of the future, some of which were true.

The cabin itself was basic and sparsely furnished, but it felt oddly like home to me. It was saturated with two scents, mine and Tom's, and I think his scent was why I felt I belonged here. I fully took in my surroundings for the first time. There was a large sack hanging over a chair that contained clothes which were obviously mine, although I did not recognise them. On a small wooden table sat a thick red leather book, on top of which rested a hastily scribbled note.

My Dearest Alice,

I know I promised to protect you and that I would never condemn you to this life, but at the moment my lips touched your neck, I knew that I couldn't lose you. My existence was dreary before I found you, but after having your vitality brighten my life, I know that if your light were extinguished, my own survival would have been dismal. Some of your very special gift has transferred to me, Alice, and I have a sense that the world is a better place with you in it, in whatever form that may be. Even as a vampire, which is what you are now, Little Alice and I hope that one day you will forgive me for that.

I am already lost without your visions, Alice and I wish I knew which course of action had the best outcome, but without your guidance I have to rely on my instinct. I am going to try and stop the monster that is coming for you, even though you warned that he will defeat me. It is worth the risk. I will do everything in my power to come back to you, but if you are reading this then I've failed and I'm very sorry.

I read some of your journal and I should be angry that you wrote everything down, when I warned you how dangerous the knowledge I shared with you was, but as things stand I am glad. All you need to know to guide you in your new life is written there, by your own hand.

Stay safe, Little Alice. I love you as fiercely as I loved my other daughter. I hope that you are able to find happiness and someone to share this life with. I'll miss you and you'll forever be in my heart.

I hope that you will always consider me your loving father,

Tom.

As I read this note, so much became clearer and I was immersed in grief once more. I kept reading and re-reading his letter, and inhaling his scent, until eventually, as before, my thirst became more pressing and I could no longer dismiss it. My decision to quench it brought on a violent vision. I could see the fear and panic I would inspire in the humans I would kill. I could clearly see every detail about them and I could hardly believe the monster I would become. I would be a murderer of innocents and I didn't want that. But I did have an alternative. I could drink from animals again and even if they tasted vile, they would suffice. That was how I came to drink from animals not humans. Sometimes.

The next few years seemed to drag and fly at the same time. I fed from a mixture of animal and human blood. The human blood tasted so good that I couldn't stay off it completely. I practiced stalking humans from a distance. Looking into their futures. Training my control and my gift. When I came across one who was on the road to evil, or at least nastiness, then I permitted myself to drink.

The first time I allowed myself to hunt a human, it was both a success and a failure. I ventured into a large town late at night, reasoning that there would not be many people still out to contend with and also that people who weren't at home at such a late hour were predisposed to being up to no good anyway. The constant burn in my throat was only slightly eased by drinking from animals and the desire for the relief that human blood would bring had become overwhelming.

Near the docks, I came across five men in a heated exchange. They were dividing the proceeds of a bank robbery they had committed earlier that day. I tried to look for their futures, but found it extremely difficult. I had never really attempted to look for someone I didn't know before and I couldn't seem to isolate anything for any of them. Then the tallest one broke away from the group, storming towards me clearly disgruntled. As he approached, the vision came murkily. He had decided to procure alcohol that was currently illegal and this would cause him to arrive back at his home very drunk. His wife and daughter would be on the receiving end of his violent outburst. It was all I needed to see. He didn't even notice me coming for him and he tasted absolutely divine, but his blood ran dry far too quickly and I was unprepared for the force of the bloodlust that descended upon me. The other four men did see me coming and their screams and panic as I chased them down still haunt me.

I tried to think of myself as an angel of destiny, but it wasn't true. I would slip, often, and take the life of someone who didn't deserve to die and I hated myself for it. But as I got 'older', my self-control improved and these slips became less frequent. After much reflection, I was able to forgive myself for my indiscretions.

I often returned to the cabin where I had awoken, but Tom's scent had begun to fade and I missed it. I was so grateful that he had salvaged my things, especially my journal. By reading it, I had re-familiarised myself with my past and I spent a lot of time trying to remember the faces that were drawn there and the events I had depicted in it.

Six years after my change, I was much more in control. I had managed to remember a patchwork of my past and knew who I was. I still missed Tom as much as I had the day I awoke and I wondered whether the ache I felt for him would ever diminish.

One day, I was thinking about my sister Thia. I thought of her often. She was so little when I had been sent away to the asylum and I had essentially left her behind with the monster that was my father. She would be sixteen now. I hoped she had never seen the other side of our father and that she would have a happy life. I missed her. I considered going and checking on her and wondered whether I would have the self-control to observe her from a distance and to not approach her and bring danger into her life.

The vision hit me hard, clear as if it was happening in front of me. A teenage girl being murdered by the same man who had murdered my mother. Instinctively, I knew it was Thia. I had no time to think or plan. If I was to have any chance of saving her, I had to go now. So I ran.

By the time I reached my old family home it was dark. Being back here and seeing the house for myself crystallised the memories in my mind and they became clearer and more real. I vividly remembered the last time I was here, running in terror away from my home. Now I was running in terror towards it.

I silently let myself into my childhood house. I could distinguish four heartbeats. Two in my parents' old room and two at the other side of the house in what once had been my room. One of those heartbeats sped up and I heard a muffled yelp and struggling. I wasted no time in seeking out the source. I could tell where the noise had come from.

I charged into my old bedroom. The man I recognised from my vision had Thia pinned against the head of her bed, a knife at her throat. He was stroking her face in a sinister way and she was cowering away from him in terror. She looked tiny and fragile under his muscular frame. Despite the narrowing of our physical age gap, Thia was still more petite even than me and she bore a very strong resemblance to my human self. It would still be clear that we were sisters, despite the differences my transformation had caused.

Both Thia and her attacker seemed alerted to my entrance at the same time and in unison they looked at me in shock. Thia's eyes widened even more as she took in my appearance. I wondered if she were more scared of me or him. Her attacker's initial surprise gave way to smugness. He openly leered at me. "Two for one," he said under his breath, and I was only able to hear him because of my enhanced senses.

I narrowed my eyes at him and I could feel the hate radiating from me. This was the man that had killed my mother, had tried to kill me and now was coming after my sister.

"Get away from her and leave or you won't live to regret it," I growled at him.

"Oh, the little girl wants to play," he chanted. "Well, you'll have to wait your turn, I'm dealing with this one first."

"I don't think so. You deal with me first," I commanded.

"I can see why you were committed," he sneered. "You are truly insane, threatening me. You don't even have any way to defend yourself." He flashed his knife at me, drawing himself into standing and dragging a struggling Thia with him. "I can't have you running away from me when you watch what I'm going to do to your sister."

He flung the knife at me. I could tell he was trying to incapacitate me and his aim was good, but my reflexes were better. I caught it instinctively and easily. He stared at me in disbelief, as if there was no way he could believe what he had seen. I returned his stare, unblinkingly. My visions of the future flicked in quick succession as he considered different options. It was the first time I had tried to predict an opponent's next move. It was difficult to concentrate and made me feel a little dizzy. I had to stop so I could focus on the present.

He still had Thia in a vice like grip and tears were streaming down her face. I could easily snap his neck but I was worried about Thia. How would she react to me killing another human being right in front of her? More immediately concerning was that if either of them were to bleed even slightly, I would lose hold of my dubious control. Just a scratch, a small nick in either of their skins, would be all it would take. I could easily kill Thia in a moment of bloodlust and I wasn't prepared to risk that. So we were locked in a stale mate.

"It's you who should run, and run fast," I told him coolly, "If you hurt her, I will kill you."

Thia suddenly found her voice and used it to scream at the top of her lungs, making us both jump. "Help us. Please, help us," she yelled.

My father came barrelling into the room. "What is going on here, can't you keep her quiet? She's going to attract attention if you're not careful!"

It was disgusting and disturbing. He must have been lying in bed, knowing his daughter was going to be murdered in the same house. He did a double take when he saw me.

"Well, well, Mary. I didn't expect to ever see you again. When they told me you escaped that place, I thought that maybe you'd be begging, or have died all alone. It never occurred to me that six years later you'd come back here. Surely you know you are not welcome."

"You got it right Daddy…I am dead." I taunted him, hurt and angered by his words, although they did not surprise me.

He laughed at me. "So what…you're some kind of ghost?" he mocked.

"She's some kind of something…she caught the knife I threw!" the familiar stranger told him.

"Don't be ridiculous, Greggor, we know she can see the future, that's what caused us all the problems in the first place. Just because she saw the knife coming, doesn't mean she has super strength. You can overpower her easily. We can't afford for either of them to live through tonight."

My father's words seemed to give Greggor new resolve. He dropped Thia and lunged at me, pulling out a second, much larger knife. He thrust it at me. As the metal blade connected with my abdomen, my rock solid skin didn't give at all and the knife slid across Greggor's hand, slicing it open. I saw red. The blood was pulsing out so close to me and the smell of it was divine. I was absolutely powerless to resist. Before anything else could register my lips were at his throat. Delicious and soothing, the warm liquid flowed into my mouth. As the supply ran dry, his thrashing stopped and his heart faltered and died. I let his lifeless body slip through my fingers and crumple to the ground and I became aware of my surroundings once more.

My father was horrified, frozen in place, gaping at me in a soundless scream. I turned to Thia, expecting her expression to be similar and her to be repulsed by me, but she just looked relieved.

"Thia," I called gently, she looked at me with recognition and love, reacting strongly to the name I had called her when we were both children. My desire to protect her was as strong as it ever was. "Gather anything you need and anything you can't part with," I instructed her, "we're leaving tonight and we won't ever come back."

"You won't get away with this," my father stammered and I laughed at him. I couldn't help myself. He was ridiculous and I actually felt a flash of sympathy for him…for a millisecond. "You're an abomination," he continued wildly, infuriated by my laughter. "When I tell people what you've become…we'll hunt you down," he huffed.

"Oh Daddy," I addressed him, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Please do tell whoever you see fit. I think a stay in an asylum is a very fitting punishment for you…exactly what you deserve. I'll visit you more often than you visited me. I'll try and remember to feed before I come…" He stared at me with fear and revulsion, but was finally silent.

Thia was magnificent. She packed her things without hesitation, pointedly ignoring our father, who was cowering in a corner, muttering incoherently as he tried to decide what to do. She also overlooked the corpse littering her bedroom floor, at one point stepping over it as if it wasn't even there. As I helped her gather her things, she surprised me by speaking.

"Mary," she began, in a hushed whisper.

"Please call me Alice," I interrupted her. "I'm not Mary anymore."

She nodded, simply accepting my request without question.

"He said you were dead," she told me and I could feel that she was desperate to convey something to me. "He said you ran away, but were found dead a few weeks later. I never believed it! I could feel that you were still alive and knew you would never voluntarily leave me behind. As I got older, Joan would say things that made me suspicious." As Thia called our stepmother by her Christian name, I felt so relieved that she had never taken to calling her mother. "I started to try and look for you," she continued. "I found the telegram informing Father of your escape from the asylum and it threw everything into confusion for me. I started to think back to the day you had disappeared and the months leading up to it. I thought I was being subtle in my enquiries, but obviously Father was alerted somehow." She stopped and turned to face me, grabbing my hands and not even flinching away from my cold skin. "Thank you Ma…Alice. Thank you for coming back to save me. I missed you every single day that you were gone."

I was so moved by her emotional speech. Despite seeing me at my most dangerous, she still loved and trusted me and I knew that I couldn't let her down.

I had to hide the evidence of Greggor's death. It would raise too many questions about the circumstances of it. At the moment his cause of death screamed vampire. I couldn't take his body with me and hide it as I normally did because I would already have Thia and her things with me. The only option I had was to destroy his body. I sent Thia to wait for me outside and she obeyed me instantly. I moved at my full speed to set the fire and by the time my father realised my intention the room was already fully alight. As I jumped from the window, he fled from the room though the door. I expected him to run for safety, but he surprised me by heading back into the house to collect his wife first.

Maybe there was at least one person that he actually loved.

I ran from the burning house, with Thia in my arms and her belongings over my back, my father's incoherent shrieking fading into the background as his sobbing wife hung onto him. I had come so close to killing him on several occasions, but it felt like I'd be giving him an easy way out. He deserved to suffer losing everything…maybe even his sanity. Sweet madness please take him, I thought.

I ran for miles. Thia had fallen asleep clinging to me by the time I finally stopped.

What would I do now? I really hadn't thought any of this through. I skimmed though visions of our immediate future and saw her trying to reassure me that she was fine, although she was shivering and clearly exhausted. Usually I would travel throughout the night and I didn't need to stop or rest. I didn't need money or any other human trappings, but Thia would. An unwelcome memory of Tom telling me how dangerous it was for a human to travel with a vampire filtered into my mind. I would have to keep her warm, sheltered and fed. I would somehow have to not kill her and there were so many ways she could be hurt. I was the biggest danger of all. I couldn't avoid the fact that she smelled delicious. Sweet and fragrant, her blood called to me even though I had just fed. I would have to be on my guard at all times or I could accidentally kill her myself. How could I keep her safe?

I searched for our more distant future, but it was frustratingly fuzzy. I hadn't made any decisions about where we would go or what we would do, so there was nothing for me to see yet. I let my mind roam, searching for anything I could use, trying to get out of the loop of no decisions before visions, therefore no visions before decisions. I was getting nowhere and I hissed in frustration. I tried to look further ahead. I needed some reassurance that she would be safe with me and that I had done the right thing.

Then I saw them.

Mesmerising golden eyes, more beautiful than anything I had ever seen before. They were filled with love and admiration and made me feel safe and wanted.

Over the hard upcoming months, whenever I looked far ahead, I could see those eyes. Guarding me and reassuring me. I could get through anything while the owner of those eyes was part of my future.

AN: Thank you for taking the time to read this story. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

This is the last chapter of the complete story I entered into The Canon Tour, but as I always do, I got carried away with the characters when I was writing and have their whole lives planned out for them! I am thinking about writing an epilogue, to describe some of Alice and Thia's future.