Disclaimer: still not mine, though I wish they were. :o(

A/N: Thanks to Thevina for her fantastic beta work!

Wake Me, Chapter 4 (Hope Fades)

How long have I been here? Merlin, it feels like days already, but I don't think it could have even been one yet. Maybe a few hours. I wish I hadn't fallen asleep- well, dozed really. I don't think I'll sleep soundly until I'm home. I wonder if they know I'm gone? I think they do… Yes, they must, because I should have been home ages ago. Besides, there was the spell that connected me with Ron.

I mean, I'm pretty sure I got through to Ron. Wow, now that would really be something if I did. I didn't think that would actually work.

I allowed my mind to search for how this had been possible. True, I had been working on wandless, silent magic, but that would be truly amazing if I had reached him. Guess my tweaking of the Apparating spell may have worked on some level. But how? The most important spell I had been researching and changing was a variation on Apparating– allowing one to Apparate to a person, rather than a place. I knew this was important, because it would allow Harry to find Voldemort once and for all; and equally importantly, it would allow Ron and I to find Harry and each other.

I've still got some kinks to work out, if it did indeed work this time. It felt like reaching through a fog, through a dream. I don't know what I expected. Maybe it can't work fully, because I was bound- and how the hell I willfully forced my binding away is beyond me. It's more likely that there are extremely strong wards at work here. Maybe wards impede the spell, but make it possible for a mental connection?

But I saw him! Clear as day! I felt his shoulders underneath my fingers– wasn't that a physical connection? Or do I want to believe it so badly that I imagined touching him? Maybe I imagined the whole experience…

Well, I mused, I guess I could try again.

I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on the familiar red-head I so badly wanted to see. I imagined his hair, like the prettiest flames of a lively fire. I imagined his brow, his cheeks, the bridge of his nose. I pictured the loveliness of his eyes, a pool of blue emotion. I concentrated on his tempting lips, how soft they appeared, how full. I forced myself to imagine his entire body, right down to his toes, every detail so vivid in my mind. What I didn't know, my mind filled in with a fantasy of what he would be like.

Okay, breathe, breathe. Just let go and maybe it will work this time.

"Ron?" Nothing. "Ron?" Damn it. "Ron!" Yelling louder won't make him hear you, it didn't work.

I felt myself begin to lose the feeble hope I'd held onto for the last few hours. He hadn't heard me, the spell hadn't worked. No, this can't be happening. I allowed myself to give in to the familiar tears which were escaping, dripping with my disappointment, my fear. I finally allowed myself to realize just how alone I was in this room.

"Ron, I can't do this alone. I need you. I need you. Don't make me live wondering where you are. Ron…" My breath caught in my throat as sobs racked my body. I placed my head heavily in my arms and rocked myself, crying as though it would help somehow.

"Ron!"

Where are you?

"I want to be home with you."

I never got to tell him that he is my home. It's not where we live, where we share a bedroom wall, it's always been him.

"Hermione? Where are we?"

My breath caught again. Did I just imagine that?

"Hermione?"

I turned my head and felt my eyes bulging at hearing Ron's voice again. I can't be hearing things, please let this be real. Oh, his voice is like heaven, like the sweetest dream come true. I found my voice and chanced the possibility of crushing my hopes again.

"Ron? Can you hear me?" I whispered.

"Of course I can hear you- I'm standing two feet from you!"

I looked around, but saw nothing different, no Ron.

Why can't I see him? I must have done something wrong with the spell. Don't think about that now, I chided myself. I mustn't waste the chance to connect with him, to help him find me. I somehow know he really is here with me and I desperately want him to know so many things. First help him find you!

"Ron! Don't leave me!I can't see you, but somehow I know you're here with me. Listen closely, I need you to hear me. I think I'm in a dungeon or perhaps a basement. The walls are made of an old brick, so you need to look for an older house. We came by portkey, so I have no way to know where I am."

What else could help him find me? That's the where; now for the who… except I don't know who, I reminded myself.

"One of the Death Eaters sounds very familiar to me, but I can't place the voice. Perhaps someone we went to school with, but I know it's not Malfoy. Ron, keep listening, it's very important!"

I suddenly felt Ron's presence, which was completely inexplicable and not part of the spell. Hmmm, must ponder that later.

"They want something of mine. They took some partially completed work from my office, but I don't know what they want yet. I've been here in the dark for hours, but no one has come back. I'm not going to tell them anything, but I can hold on now, because I know you'll find me. Ron, there's so much to say, so much left unsaid, but- wait, I think someone's coming…"

I heard the last noise I ever wanted to hear- someone walking down the stairs. Damn it. Maybe he can stay connected, to see the Death Eaters. That would certainly help him find me more quickly.

"Yes, I hear footsteps. Are you still there Ron?" Please be there.

"I'm here Hermione, but I don't understand. Is this real?"

Somehow I know it is real. Must concentrate on him finding me.

"Ron, they'll be here in a second. Don't leave me. Don't make a sound, but just watch and see if you recognize the Death-."

I suddenly felt as though my heart had been ripped open and the connection was severed. I somehow knew he was gone, but couldn't even begin to understand how or why. I hadn't been able to see him, so there was no way even to tell where he was at this moment.

I didn't have enough time to ponder what had happened when the footsteps firmly echoed into the dungeon.

"Hello, puppet," a cruel, yet somehow still familiar voice filled my ears. "Are you ready to share your secrets? I've given you enough time to think about the fact that you will not leave here without spilling everything you know," the voice continued.

I raised my head to look up at the Death Eater, fully expecting to be able to see his face. Damn, I thought disappointedly to myself as I caught sight of his mask. Even if Ron had been able to stay, he wouldn't have been able to see the man behind the facade. At least he would be here though.

I realized I had an important decision to make. I could try to avoid the questions and probing with distraction techniques or I could simply refuse to answer any questions. I reasoned that I could try both approaches, one then the next, whatever it took to survive.

"I don't see why I have anything of use to you," I said, trying to convey both my stubborn nature and the fact that I wasn't afraid of this man, even though the second part was a lie.

"Oh, puppet, come now. Even I know you are not quite that modest. The great Hermione Granger is the secret weapon in Potter's camp. You are the one who has developed the spell that will end it all. I want everything. Don't play coy with me or you will be punished." The masked enemy practically hissed his words causing me to shiver slightly at the threat.

You're a Gryffindor! Hold onto the courage that is always with you, hold onto the thought of Harry and Ron. I made the decision to refuse at that moment. The Death Eater was right, though I doubted he realized how accurate he was - I was a secret weapon of sorts and I refused to give the enemy ammunition to use against my boys. I didn't care what I had to suffer through, I was going to be strong for them.

"If that's how you want things to play out, you will be in for a punishment, puppet. Tell me a secret. Open your filthy Mudblood mouth and give me what I want."

Silence. All I was willing to give him was silence. He was becoming more irritated at my refusal to engage with him.

"Imperio!" The spell left his lips almost before I had the chance to realize it. I had only partly succeeded in putting up carefully constructed walls in my mind. I had taught Harry, Ron and myself how to construct these necessary partitions, knowing it would be important if any of us were ever captured.

Tell him a secret, something he wants to know! My traitorous mind tried to force me into giving in. The voice was somehow mine and yet it was also foreign to me. It was the oddest sensation to have an argument with myself, almost as though I had a split personality. No, I don't think I want to. Why should I? He should tell me one first! I felt myself trying to fight the urge to purge my knowledge into his eagerly waiting mind. I recognized the fogginess in my brain and tried to push it away. Tell him now or he will cause the deepest shame I have ever known.

I gathered my courage and finally yelled, "No!" I felt the effects of the curse lessen and the slightly foggy feeling cleared from the edges of my brain.

"No, puppet? Are you sure that's your answer?" His voice became tinged with a more sinister tone. I couldn't see his face, but I felt sure he had an evil smirk gracing his lips.

Bastard.

"Imperio!" The spell again hit me without warning.

In a far off part of my brain, I thought perhaps he was going to try and wear me down with repeated use of the Imperius Curse. I knew that the longer he used the curse, the more difficult it would become to for me to throw off its effects, but I knew I would never stop trying.

Touch yourself. Show him how you please yourself. I felt my eyes widen and my arm begin to betray me. I most certainly will not! I have my dignity. I felt my arm hesitate a bit before edging closer to my skirt lining. I struggled to compel my arm to listen to my voice, my real voice, not the imposter voice inside my mind. My arm cramped with the sheer will of trying to battle with the competing demands.

My captor laughed raucously, expelling the most cruel sound I could imagine.

"Oh, puppet, you always did have a difficult time resisting the physical commands of the Imperius. You may be able to resist a command to surrender your mind and your memories to me, but I know for a fact that you cannot resist a command to surrender your body. I'm going to cause you the greatest shame you have ever felt. Once your shame and guilt eats you away, I will be free to take your memories. I am displeased at you making me waste my time in such ways. You will be mine."

How the hell does he know that I have a difficult time with that aspect of the Imperius curse? I felt my mind clear as he released the spell. I didn't know why he'd given up his hold on me, I only focused on the relief that I hadn't actually degraded myself at his command. But you almost did. You would have if he had kept on you. Damn it.

I tried to force myself to not feel guilt or shameful about my actions, but it was a losing battle. Guilt had always come easily to me, because I inherently wanted to be better than whatever it was I had just done. Am I that easy to read? How could he possibly know that shame and guilt are my weaknesses? I know I haven't told anyone that. And what about the physical commands of the Imperius? How the hell did he know about that? I can't think of anyone besides Ron and Harry that I've told about that and that was only for their safety. Why would I; it causes me embarrassment and shame. I shook my head ruefully. There's the shame again- so easy for me to fall back into it.

"I tire of you puppet. We will play again later. Crucio!"

Fire ripped through my body and I fell back against the brick wall, writhing. I could feel a heat searing through my legs, my arms, my torso, my brain. I ached with every breath I took. Disassociate. Distance yourself from this and it will be over soon.

Despite the agony, I focused my thoughts on Ron again. I pictured him in every detail, longing for him to be here with me, to see me, to hear me, to understand my deepest thoughts. I again pictured the lips I wanted to claim as my own, the hands I wanted to have caressing my body. I practically tasted the sweat and musk I somehow knew would cover his skin. I pictured every moment of a perfect union, our bodies, hearts, souls. I could swear I felt his presence over me, around me, inside me. I felt puffs of breath on my cheek as he gave in to the labor of loving me. I somehow felt the pleasure of his body, hard where mine was soft.

I screamed particularly hard as the spell became more intense. I had managed to disassociate for long enough so as not to allow my body to recognize the pain. However, as I came back to the reality of my precarious situation, I felt the full force of my "punishment".

I will not give in to this bastard. I promise you Ron, I will be strong. Somehow, I know you will find me and I will hold on until then.

I told myself he could feel me too, could sense an urgent need to be found by him.

As the Death Eater released his vicious and brutal attack on my body, I heard the promise he made me.

"I'll be back. And then, puppet, you will tell me a secret. I know you don't want to be punished with shame again. Goodnight, Mudblood."

Sore from the torture of only moments before, I swallowed my tears and refused to give the retreating Death Eater the satisfaction of hearing my suffering.

I thought about my boys, knowing Harry and Ron were searching for me. I needed to escape this place, if for no more than a few moments. That was the last thought in my mind before I laid my head down on the cold stone and closed my eyes.

"Goodnight, Ron."

Please, please, please review! Getting your ideas and comments is part of what makes writing these stories worth it! I would appreciate anyone who could take the time to let me know their thoughts! Thanks, Risie :o)