Disclaimer- I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist

CHAPTER FOUR - Haunted by the Past

Ed and Winry spent the next couple of days in Central keeping an eye on their son, the newest member of the state military. The boy was now a State Alchemist and thus under the authority of the Fuhrer. Winry had hoped that, in time, Nick would realize that he'd made a mistake by joining the military and decide to go back to Resembool with them however, much to her dismay, that did not happen.

On day three Nick, Colonel Havoc, Hawkeye and the Fuhrer all accompanied Ed and Winry to the train station where they would board the train bound for Resembool. Havoc, Hawkeye and the Fuhrer stood in a group and Ed and Winry stood a few steps away. That left poor Nick standing off by himself, not really wanting to be near either group.

As the group all stood at the train station awaiting the arrival of the train, Nick's thoughts went back to the chain of events that had started this whole thing.

(Nick had been lying awake all night, contemplating what he could do to correct the egregious error that had led to the death of his sister. Knowing of only one skill he had at his disposal that could help, after much thought Nick decided to break the laws of both the State and nature and attempt the forbidden act of human transmutation.

He had been studying alchemy for nearly six years and he thought that he just might have enough skill to bring his sister back from the grave. Although he had some doubts, the boy decided that he had to at least try to bring Harmony back seeing as how he blamed himself for her death. He had to make an attempt to fix things, not only for himself but also for Aiya who hadn't deserved to lose her twin under such terrible circumstances.

His decision made, Nick got out of bed and got dressed. Then he snuck out of his room and left his family's home. Having debated on whether or not to attempt human transmutation for some time now, Nick had already gathered together the necessary ingredients.

He ran to the spot where he'd hidden the ingredients he would need, grabbed them and then ran off in the direction of the cave where his sister's accident had occurred. Once inside the cave, Nick quickly walked back to the ledge where his sister's life had ended. He transmuted a ladder and climbed down to the exact spot where Harmony had died and, once there, he placed his box of materials down on the stone floor.

Nick pulled out a chalk pencil and began the task of drawing the transmutation circle that would be required for the human transmutation. The array was very intricate and detailed and it took him the better part of an hour to draw it. Then, once that was completed, he placed the necessary ingredients in the center of the circle.

Nick pulled out the small book in which he kept his notes and checked his list of ingredients. One by one, he checked off the ingredients that composed the human body, making certain that he had everything that would be necessary for the revival of his sister.

"There," Nick whispered. "I think that's everything."

The boy knelt down in front of the array and placed his hands at the circle's edges. Blue light erupted from the circle as the alchemy began. Nick watched in wonder as the blue lights swirled around him but then his look of wonder turned to one of horror when the lights suddenly turned a violent red.

Something was going terribly wrong and yet Nick lacked the ability to stop it. He could only stare in horror as the red lights began to dissolve his right arm. The boy screamed in pain and terror but stopped abruptly when he saw that something in the center of the circle was moving.

Daring to hope that possibly the transmutation had worked after all; Nick gazed at the moving object. "Har. . .mony?"

Then, to his horror, Nick saw that the thing was not the sister that he had lost. In fact, he couldn't figure out what it was. All he knew for sure was that it couldn't possibly be human. The boy cried out in fear, frustration and pain but all those emotions stopped abruptly when the boy blacked out.)

As he stood on the platform with the others, awaiting the arrival of the train that would take him and Winry back to Resembool, Ed thought about the consequences this decision would have on his son. Ed didn't know whether or not his son wanted to join the State Military so that he could gain more knowledge about alchemy and eventually attempt human transmutation again but for the boy's sake he hoped that wasn't the case. The boy's last attempt at bringing back the dead had almost sent him to join them.

(Ed had been sound asleep when he was suddenly jarred back to consciousness by a tiny hand pulling at his arm. He opened his eyes and turned to see Aiya standing at his bedside. The child looked terrified and Ed quickly sat up and embraced her. Ever since the death of her twin Aiya had suffered terrible nightmares and Ed thought she'd had another one.

Ed sat up and pulled his daughter into a comforting hug.

"What's wrong Aiya?"

"Brother's gone." The young girl's eyes were wide and her voice alarmed.

"Where did he go?" Ed asked the child, beginning to grow alarmed himself.

"I don't know," Aiya cried. "I saw him leave the house and head in the direction of the cave but I lost sight of him after that."

"The cave," Ed gasped, beginning to get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Oh no!"

Ed quickly awakened Winry and briefly explained the situation to her. Then he threw on some clothes and ran out of the house. He ran as fast as he could in the direction that his son had traveled and when he was halfway there he stopped and gazed in horror at the cave.

The mouth of the cave was alight with vivid lights of blue and red, and there was only one moment in Ed's life when he'd seen anything even remotely like it. On the night he and his brother had attempted to bring their mother back from the dead. A chill ran down Ed's spine at the sight and his dread only deepened as he heard a distant scream.

"Nicholas!" he yelled, running toward the cave as fast as his legs would carry him.

Ed ran into the cave and followed the source of the lights back toward the underground river. When he reached the ledge from which Harmony had fallen, he gazed over the edge and saw his worst fears confirmed. He saw his son lying beside a transmutation circle, in a pool of blood. The boy had attempted the forbidden act of human transmutation and had paid dearly for it.

Ed quickly clasped his hands together and then placed his hands on the ledge. The stones instantly transformed into a staircase and Ed ran down to the spot where his son lay. Dropping to the ground beside the boy, Ed discovered to his great relief that the boy was still alive. However, his attempt at human transmutation had left him gravely injured and Ed knew that he did not have much time. If the boy was to have any chance of survival, he had to get him out of the cave and back up to the house as quickly as possible.

Ed quickly ripped off his coat and wrapped it around the boy. Then he scooped Nick up into his arms and ran back up the stairs and out of the cave. He ran up to the house, thrust the door open and called out to his wife. "Winry, get down here now!"

He heard a couple of thuds from over head and then he saw Winry running down the stairs. She ran toward her husband but stopped short when she saw the blood stained bundle that he held in his arms.

"Oh no," Winry gasped, realizing what the bundle was.

"We have to get the bleeding stopped fast," Ed told her in a commanding voice.

The tone of her husband's voice penetrated the panic initiated by her motherly instincts and Winry nodded. She ran and gathered up clean bandages and other first aid supplies while Ed carried their injured son into one of the downstairs bedrooms.

Ed placed his son on the bed and quickly removed the boy's blood stained shirt. The boy's right arm was completely missing from the shoulder down and blood gushed from the wound.

Winry ran into the room clutching the first aid supplies and she and Ed worked to stop the blood flow that was coming from the boy's massive wound. They finally managed to curb the bleeding, although it did not entirely stop.

"I think that's about as good as it's gonna get at this point," Ed said as he wrapped the bandages tightly around the boy's shoulder. "If we leave the bandages alone for awhile, hopefully the wound will begin to clot."

Winry nodded and left the room. She returned a few minutes later with a bowl of water and a washcloth. She placed the bowl on the table beside Nick's bed, dipped the cloth in the water, wrung out the excess and then placed the washcloth across her son's forehead.

Ed stood beside the bed and stared sadly down at his son. "Why Nicholas? You knew that human alchemy was strictly forbidden so why did you try it?"

An understanding look appeared in her blue eyes as Winry walked over and came to stand beside her husband. She knew all too well what had made her son attempt the forbidden alchemy and deep down so did her husband. He just didn't want to admit it. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, knowing that the gesture wouldn't really bring him comfort but needing to make the attempt. "The heart often tells us to do things our brains know to be wrong. You know this all too well, don't you Edward?"

Ed nodded, unable to speak. Tears formed in his golden eyes, the very eyes that Nick had inherited from him. "How many generations will be forced to suffer this heartache?" he silently raged. "Will it never end?"

"Watch over our son," Winry said quietly. "I have to go and check on Aiya. She panicked when you yelled at me and it was very hard to get her to remain in our room. I'll be back as soon as I can get her to sleep."

"Alright."

So Winry left the room in order to tend to their daughter and Ed pulled a chair over to the bedside and sat down to keep a vigilant eye on their son. The boy wasn't in quite as deep a state of unconsciousness now as he'd been in when Ed first found him and he moaned, a pained expression on his face.

"Uhn," the boy moaned. "Harmony, I'm. . .sorry."

"And the guilt you feel now will never truly go away," Ed whispered sadly, gazing at his son. "It will fade with time but never vanish completely. I wish I could take it from you but there's simply no way for me to do that. I'm sorry son."

Ed and Winry spent the next several days taking turns standing vigil at their son's bedside. The boy's condition improved slightly however he still wasn't out of danger. The bleeding from his wound had finally stopped however; there was still the chance that it could become infected, so Ed and Winry were very careful to keep their eyes open for any signs of infection when they changed the bandages that covered the wound. If the wound became infected, it would need immediate treatment so Ed and Winry remained ever vigilant.

While the two parents fought to save their son, they also had to contend with a daughter that had already lost her twin and was now terrified that her older brother was going to die as well. So, while one of the parents tended to Nick, the other had to comfort Aiya and assure her that her brother wasn't going to die.

Five days after the accident Nick fully regained consciousness. Ed was with his son when the boy woke up and as soon as Nick saw him he hurriedly looked away, riddled with guilt over what he'd done and afraid of what his father now thought of him.

Ed placed a comforting hand on the boy's remaining arm. "Thank goodness you're alright. You had us all worried for awhile there kid."

Nick continued to stare at the wall, completely ignoring his father's presence.

Fully understanding the mental torment that his son was enduring and not sure what he could say to ease the boy's pain, Ed stood up and walked toward the door. "There's someone who's been worried sick about you for a long time and I think it would do you both some good if she came in for a visit. I'll be right back."

Nick listened to the sounds of his dad leaving and the door closing behind him. He knew what his dad was doing. He was going to bring in Nick's mother, who would then proceed to give her son a guilt trip he would not soon forget. He lay staring up at the ceiling and preparing for the worst.

Nick soon heard the sound of the door opening once more but he did not look in the direction of his visitor. Instead, he continued to stare up at the ceiling, already feeling more miserable than his mother could ever make him. However, two small arms thrust around his neck forced the boy to look around.

"Aiya!" Nick whispered, his voice breaking at the sight of the twin to the girl he'd tried to bring back from the dead. Nick wrapped his one remaining arm around his little sister. "I'm sorry Aiya. So. . .so very sorry."

Aiya looked up when she heard the sound of her brother's voice and there were tears in her big blue eyes. "You scared me big brother. I thought you were gone for good."

"I'm sorry Aiya," Nick apologized again, clutching his sister as tightly as he could, in his weakened condition.

"I forgive you," Aiya whispered. "But please don't ever scare me like that again Big Brother.")

Ed was startled from his thoughts by the sound of a train whistle. He watched as a train pulled up to the platform, steam shooting from the wheels as it came to a halt at the station. "Well this is our train," Ed said, picking up the suitcase that was sitting beside his leg. He placed his hand on his son's shoulder. "Good luck Nicholas. Take care."

Nick nodded.

Winry embraced her son. "I love you Nicholas."

"Come on Winry," Ed said, breaking up the mother, son bonding moment before the mother had the chance to break down into tears. Then he turned to face the Fuhrer and Col. Havoc and when he spoke his words were low and threatening. "If anything happens to him I'm holding the two of you personally responsible."

Havoc took a few steps back away from Ed, but the Fuhrer held his ground. He smirked at Ed. "Your threats don't scare me Edward."

Ed turned and began to walk toward the train. "I don't care whether my threats scare you or not Flame Alchemist," Ed called out casually over his shoulder as he walked away. "Because if you aren't scared that just means I won't have to chase you down and then beat the crap out of you."

"Flame Alchemist?" Nick thought to himself, suddenly remembering some old letters that he and his sisters had found while playing around in the attic of their home. The letters were addressed to his dad and signed "The Flame Alchemist." He'd been intrigued by the letters and had read every single one of them and some of the stories told in those letters portrayed the Flame Alchemist as someone to be feared. Nick's face paled and a drop of sweat appeared on the side of his head. "The Fuhrer's the Flame Alchemist? I think I'm in big trouble. I wonder if it's too late to change my mind?" He looked around and saw that none of the adults was paying any attention to him. "I could still make a run for it."

However, instead of making a run for it the boy ran up and grabbed his dad by the sleeve. "You never told me that the Fuhrer was the Flame Alchemist!"

"I never told you that there WAS a Flame Alchemist." Ed gazed at his son. "You and your sisters found that one out all on your own. However you should have done your research a little better before you became a dog of the military Nicholas."

Nick's jaw dropped and he stared open mouthed at his father, unable to prevent himself from thinking that his father had somehow planned for things to happen like this. "He did this on purpose," the boy mumbled. "I know he did."

He stared back and forth from his father to the Fuhrer. "I am seriously screwed."

Ed and Winry boarded the train, leaving their first-born child in the hands of the Fuhrer and the rest of the state military. However, it was with reluctance on the part of Winry.

"I still don't think we should be leaving him here Edward." As she spoke, Winry gazed out the train's window, watching as her eldest child grew smaller and smaller. "He could get hurt."

Ed shook his head. "I made several members of the military promise to keep an eye on him for me and I'm sure that at least one of them can manage to keep the boy out of trouble."

Winry didn't look convinced however, she knew that there wasn't anything she could do at this point so she changed the subject. "Aiya's going to be heartbroken. We promised her before we left that we'd bring her brother home to her."

"I know," Ed said, thinking back upon the decision that he had made. Despite Winry's doubts Ed knew that he'd made the only decision that he could given the circumstances. "But I had no right to force him to come home. He has to work this out on his own."

"I suppose you're right," Winry reluctantly conceded.

Ed leaned over and placed a comforting hand on his wife's arm. "He'll be alright Winry. Have a little faith."

Winry gave her husband a weak smile. "I'll try."

Winry stared at the hands that she held clasped in her lap without seeing them, her thoughts centered on her son and the situation that he'd gotten himself into. Ed had told her to believe that the boy would be okay and since he was his father's son she supposed that he could take care of himself even at his young age. And yet she could not stop herself from worrying. After all, she was his mother and that was pretty much her job.

Meanwhile, as the train made its way to the small village of Resembool, Ed's thoughts once again returned to Nick's recovery after the failed human transmutation. His mind was still trying to figure out what the boy hoped to accomplish by joining the state military.

"He must have a reason for joining the military," Ed thought to himself. "I just wish I knew what it was."

(It had been a few days since Nick had fully regained consciousness and during that time, his parents had noticed that he was withdrawing from his younger sister more and more with each passing day. When he'd first regained consciousness he had tried to comfort her but as time went on it was as if the mere sight of her caused him pain. He refused to even look at her.

Winry commented on this fact one afternoon after she finished changing the boy's bandages. "Edward, have you noticed that Nicholas refuses to even look at Aiya now?"

"I've noticed," Ed said.

"Do you think it's possible that he somehow blames her for what happened?" Winry said, tortured by the very thought.

Ed shook his head. That possibility had never even entered into his mind. The bond between the siblings was very similar to the one that he shared with Al and Ed knew without a doubt that there was no way that Nick blamed his little sister for what had happened. In fact, Ed was nearly one hundred percent sure that Nick blamed himself for what had happened and that that was the reason why he was unable to face his sister. "No. I think it hurts him to look at her because she and Harmony are identical twins. Every time he looks at Aiya he sees the sister he was unable to save and that sight haunts him."

Tears formed in Winry's eyes. "The sight of his sister causes him pain so he chooses not to look at her which in turn causes her pain."

Ed nodded. "But it'll be okay. He'll get passed that. All he needs is a little more time to heal. He and Aiya have always been extremely close and there's nothing that will ever change that."

"I hope you're right Edward."

"Me too," Ed thought to himself.)

Thankfully Nick had gotten over the pain that seeing Aiya caused him however it was now apparent to Edward that his son was still traumatized by the tragedy that had taken the life of his sister. And now he had chosen to join the State Military for reasons Edward could only guess at.

"I hope you find what you're searching for Nicholas," Edward thought as the train sped away from Central and away from his first born. "And I hope you put your demons to rest."

A/N- and thus ends chapter four of Nick's story. hope you enjoyed, feel free to leave feedback. Til next time this is Hitsu-taichou signing out.