HI DER. I've returned! It seems that my parody notebook has vanished OH GOD WHHHYYY so I must use my memory to write. Sooo...Hawkfrost can do the disclaimer again!
Hawkfrost: Blast. Just as I vas getting used to daily life again, YOU HAD TO COME BACK.
Without further ado, THARS A PARODY NEEDS TYPIN
The travelling group finds themselves somewhere on the ShadowClan border.
Dovewing: *jumps from bush to bush* ...
Squishy: Is she always like that?
Squirrelflight: Yes, but you'll get used to it. Haven't you ever felt the same way about another...Sharktopus?
Squishy: I think I'm genderless.
Dragonscales: *arrogant toss of gorgeous ruff around neck* Well, I certainly wouldn't fall head over heels for a tom. *falls madly in love with a flippin' tree*
Cinderheart: And just when did you get here?
Dragonscales: I have to be the center of attention at all times.
Cinderheart: O...kay...
Dovewing: TIGERHEART! *pounces into bush*
Tigerheart: Dovewing, I lo-mrfmrfmrf...*loud gargling*
Dovewing: *walks out of bush, duct tape in mouth* Jerk wants to steal ThunderClan's herbs...
Dragonscales: I LOVE YOU, PINE
There is a tacit agreement to put Dovewing's tape to even more good use. A few minutes later, Dragonscale's mouth is covered by hot pink duct tape.
Squishy: When we remove it, rip out her whiskers.
Dragonscales: *muted sobbing* treeee help meeee i'm so uselesssss i must rely on another beeeeeing for survivalllll
After walking and walking, the group manages to return to ThunderClan's camp, obviously because of Squishy's wonderful internal compass.
Everyone: Squishy, how about we lead the way?
Dragonscales: treeeeee where did you gooooo
Lionblaze: Cinderheart, I knew you'd come back for me!
Cinderheart: Well, this is just GREAT.
Brambleclaw: Thank goodness you're back. We needed you to combat the Mary Sue infestation.
Ivypool: Have there been any more... outbreaks?
Brambleclaw: Well, Hawkfrost and Dustpelt killed Gaypride and Let'sride to see who they would bring back.
Squirrelflight: I don't like where this is going...
Brambleclaw: SHUT IT, SQUIRRELFLIGHT, NO ONE ASKED YOU FOR YOUR OPINION. As I was saying, the four new cats are Yeehaw, Fabulousfur, Rainbowfur, and Twilightsparkle.
Cinderheart: Twilightsparkle?
Brambleclaw: Well, Edward is more interested in Jacob than Bella...
Cinderheart: And why are there four Mary Sues?
Brambleclaw: They're multiplying. For each Mary Sue killed, two are brought back with the original. Though, I will say, they're quite productive, when they aren't trying to invade RiverClan and turn their camp into a gay bar.
Hawkfrost: I deny assisting them.
Ivypool: I thought you loved me!
Hawkfrost: Vell, I'm like Pyramid Head. I don't care about gender...or species.
Everyone: OH GOD NO NOT ANOTHER GUEST CHARACTER
HAHAHA, OH YES.
Pyramid Head: HALLO.
Firestar: Is this Warriors, or Warriors, a Sharktopus, and Pyramid Head?
Squirrelflight: Now, Pyramid Head, you know not to kill the Mary Sues, right?
Pyramid Head: *hides Great Knife full of impaled Mary Sues behind back* Sure...whatever.
Squishy: And is he here just for fanservice,and to be the crazy person who's always killing Mary Sues?
Brambleclaw: Let's just anoint him "Plot Device." Hello, Plot Device!
Six new Mary Sues: Hello, Plot Device!
Oh, Pyramid Head is just evil.
Pheonixinferno: Was I not mentioned for a whole CHAPTER? Great StarClan!
Please, ignore her. Dovewing and her trusty duct tape will take care of that Mary Sue swiftly.
Pyramid Head: You know, I am a very dangerous person. I request being locked up, with a guard of females only at all hours.
Firestar: Yeeeahhh...you can have the Mary Sues.
Twilightsparkle: ME FIRST!
Pyramid Head: o,o
Firestar: On second thought, get out.
Hawkfrost: And vy vas I not mentioned, either? The author loves PH more than me, that's vy!
I swear that's not true!
Hawkfrost: Yes, it is! You know very vell it is true!
Hawkfrost, wait, come back to me!
Hawkfrost: It is too late, narrator/author.
Firestar: *clears throat* Hawkfrost, just who are you talking to?
Hawkfrost: The narrator/author, of course!
Firestar: We don't hear anyone.
Hawkfrost: But...but...
Mousefoot: *sidles up to Hawkfrost and whispers in his ear* I can also make someone forget anything at will, just by touching them.
Hawkfrost: D: Did no one hear that?
Leafpool: Is she talking about feeling cats up again? GREAT STARCLAN, MUST YOU BE SO TOUCHY-FEELY WITH OUR BODIES?
Mousefoot: Shut your mouth. I am the best medicine cat in these woods, and you know it.
Hawkfrost: Vait. Vy am I in ThunderClan? I vas a RiverClan cat.
Brambleclaw: And this is related, how?
...
...
NEXT TIME, on Warriors+Sharktopus vs. Silent Hill, will RiverClan hold under the pressure of Gayquest? And will my parody actually be funny again? And will Pyramid Head prove to be an unlikely ally? lulz, no.
SEE YOU NEXT TIME, VIEWER. *makes grabby hands at PH*